It seems as if every day, there is another sexual misconduct accusation against another male celebrity. Stemming from the downfall of Harvey Weinstein, the #MeToo movement has supported victims and opened floodgates to a conversation about the harassment and assault of women by powerful men. But responses from women in Hollywood have been mixed. While most have thrown their support toward their colleagues (and other women, in general), others have made epic mistakes, like Lena Dunham鈥檚 controversial statement in defense of former Girls writer Murray Miller (which she later retracted).

With the accusations against Senator Al Franken coming up in the news last week, 36聽Saturday Night Live staffers聽鈥 all women聽鈥 wrote a letter of support聽for the comedy show鈥檚 famous alumnus. But here鈥檚 the thing: It shouldn鈥檛 be up to women to defend men accused of terrible acts. Even if you feel torn about the behavior of a man you love or respect, it鈥檚 okay to be unsure of how to process it without giving him a pass just because he鈥檚 your friend.

In a November 16 episode of Sarah Silverman鈥檚 Hulu show, I Love You, America, the brash comedian asked outright, 鈥淐an you love someone who did bad things?鈥 She was, of course, referencing her friend, Louis C.K., whose admission of sexual misconduct involving a number of women has left many in the comedy world reeling.

While Silverman didn鈥檛 want to have to talk about the allegations specifically, she admitted that breaking open the way women are treated is like 鈥渃utting out a tumor,鈥 which can be messy, but is necessary for our health. 鈥淚f it鈥檚 mentionable, it鈥檚 manageable,鈥 the comedian said, admitting that while she鈥檚 still processing everything, the reality of what the victims went through is more important than how she feels about it.

鈥淚 believe with all my heart, that this moment in time is essential,鈥 she said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 vital that people are held accountable for their actions.鈥

Of course, Silverman isn鈥檛 the only person with complicated feelings about allegations against male friends and colleagues. After a number of women came forward this week to accuse CBS This Morning host Charlie Rose of harassment, his cohosts, Gayle King and聽Norah O鈥橠onnell, addressed the allegations head-on after Rose was suspended from the show (he was later fired).

鈥淚 am not okay,鈥 King said. 鈥淎fter reading that article in The Washington Post, it was deeply disturbing, troubling, and painful for me to read. That said, I think we have to make this matter to women 鈥 the women that have spoken up, the women who have not spoken up because they鈥檙e afraid. I鈥檓 hoping that now they will take the step to speak up, too, that this becomes a moment of truth.鈥

She went on to express the difficult emotions about her former friend and longtime cohost, saying, 鈥淚鈥檝e enjoyed a friendship and a partnership with Charlie for the past five years. I鈥檝e held him in such high regard and I鈥檓 really struggling because how do you, what do you say when someone that you deeply care about has done something that is so horrible? How do you wrap your brain around that? I鈥檓 really grappling with that. That said, Charlie does not get a pass here. He doesn鈥檛 get a pass from anyone in this room. We are all deeply affected, we are all rocked by this.鈥

While it can be easy to dismiss accusations against a friend, it is important to remember that fewer than two percent of assault allegations are false. While we may want to protect friends or people we admire from the small chance that allegations against them are false, by speaking in favor of abusers, we refuse to hold men accountable for their actions, giving them a pass.

Instead of congratulating male friends and family members for giving women basic human respect, we need to remember that all people who harm others should be held accountable for their actions. And yes, it can be challenging to learn that someone we love and admire has done a terrible thing to another person, but with one in every six women聽having experienced rape in our lifetime, and with the majority of those causing the assaults being a person we know, there is bound to be someone you may love or admire on the growing list of abusers.

Because if we throw our support behind the person committing the act, and not the victim, it鈥檚 simply another way to remind victims of assault that they won鈥檛 be believed or that their position makes their allegations unimportant. Just because something bad didn鈥檛 happen to you, it doesn鈥檛 mean it didn鈥檛 happen.

How do you support victims of abuse? Tell us @BritandCo!

(Photo via Nicholas Hunt/Getty)