As much as we love finding those super special somethings for our super special someones, how could we resist turning this gift-giving holiday into an excuse to curate the weird, the strange, and the bacon-flavored? This Valentine’s Day, give your best friend, your coworker, or your partner a totally weird gift that they’ll instantly Instagram, guffaw about, and love you for. It’s like a White Elephant Gift Guide for February 14th!

1. Oversized Faux Paws, Set of Two ($38): Love getting cozy with furry friends? So much that you want to become one…?

2. Money Bean Bag ($98): For your favorite old moneybags.

3. Bacon Jelly Beans ($6): We cannot possibly imagine these tasting good, but we’ll give them the old college try.

4. Coffee Makes Me Twerk ($12): You know we love to twerk.

5. Panda Party Bean Bag Chair ($160): Sitting on a spherical panda is too weird to be cute.

6. Painless Piercings ($2): The ’90s called, they want their ear cuffs back.

7. Ask Me About My Zombie Disguise ($33): The perfect excuse for the exhibitionist in your life to take their top off, over and over again.

8. Mullet On-the-Go Wig ($5): Available in medium length wavy or long sort of stringy varieties.

9. Heart of Gold Metallic Plush ($39): Okay okay, we’ll admit that this stuffed heart is pretty darn cute.

10. Morphsuit ($30): Get a couple of these and get really, really weird on Valentine’s Day.

11. Tattoo Notebook ($13): Thinking about getting some matching ink? Sketch it out in this body part-filled notebook before you go under the needle.

12. 2 Carat Cup ($13): If you’re not ready to put a ring on it, you can at least put a ring cup on it?

13. Bacon Sticky Tie ($5): If a Post-It Note, bacon, and a necktie had a crazy night out together, this stick-on tie might be the result.

14. Rubber Chicken Purse ($42): Don’t be such a chicken about it.

15. Pug Face Shirt ($19): Giant animal faces that you can wear are always a hit.

16. Creepy Horse Man Hand Puppet ($17): As if Horse Head costumes weren’t creepy enough… we recently discovered a Horse Man Hand Puppet. Wow.

17. Oversized Inflatable Tiger ($300): Always dreamed of being Jasmine and Aladdin? Or perhaps Mike Tyson? Then you obviously need this tiger.

18. Duff Beer 24-Pack ($50): Throw a Simpsons-themed rager and impress everyone you know.

19. Coq Au Vin Bottle Stopper ($3): We kind of love this quirky colorful stopper.

20. Cat Doorstop ($33): Cat got your… door?

21. Hot Dog Leash ($12): O.M.G. This is the best leash ever.

22. Purr Your Heart Into It Cat Pajamas ($24): But why? Why does your cat need pajamas? Is it just so you can say the old-timey “he really is the cat’s pajamas” expression over and over again?

23. Blushing Bridle Wedding Cake Toppers ($15): These extremely creepy horse toppers would actually make a pretty hilarious anniversary present.

24. EMT Lunch Bag ($24): Ahhh! Imagine seeing this in your office fridge.

25. Wilson Cast Away Volleyball ($22): For the lonely hearts, Wilson is always here to keep you company.

26. Hello Kitty Roller Skates ($199): Go for a nostalgia double whammy in the form of these hot rollers.

27. Dog Butt Magnets ($12): Magnets, in dog butt form. Why not?

28. Finger Candle, Pack of Five ($14): No. Just… no. But wait, can I get your digits? ;)

29. Heart Gelatin Mold ($7): Imagine the finger candles IN a heart-shaped mound of Jello? It’s so weird that it’s perfect.

30. Batstache ($6): It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s batstache!

31. T-Rex Wall Sculpture ($89): We need this in our office, like, yesterday.

32. First Aid Coffee Cup ($15): To go with your EMT lunch bag, a first aid mug.

33. Beer Belt ($16): It’s not the most romantic accessory you can give, but it certainly is practical.

34. Das Horn Drinking Vessel ($30): It’s a horn-shaped drinking vessel that you can hang around your neck. Done and done.

35. Pac-Man Color Changing Ghost Lamp ($70): Okay this is seriously awesome! You can change the colors with an itty bitty remote.

36. Giant Googly Eyes ($10): Turn anything in your home into a googly-eyed monster.

37. Cupcake Floss ($3): This is taking your love of cupcakes way too far.

38. Devil Inside Sriracha Chocolate Bar ($8): Cue INXS and spice up your sweet tooth.

39. Sea-Nic Adventures ($250): We have one of these in the office just waiting for a totally ridiculous photo shoot.

40. Clown and Skeleton Masks ($18 and $10): And finally, the creepiest thing you could possibly get someone for Valentine’s Day: a mask that makes them look like a member of Insane Clown Posse.

Happy Valentine’s week! What silly things are you getting up to this Friday?