Remember birthdays growing up when there was only one thing that could trump a trip to the roller rink or a bout of laser tag? That thing was a bad ass piñata. Whether you’re preparing for Cinco de Mayo or a helluva hitchin’, these piñatas are the fanciest, most creative paper products we’ve seen in a long time. Almost seems like a shame to break these babies open and spill out their innards… but we’re gonna.
1. Octahedron Piñatas ($75): These multi-faceted geometric globes are suited for just about any place champagne will be popped, making them great for nuptials!
3. Vintage TV ($68): Take out your Lannister family frustrations on this thing after your next Game of Thrones viewing party.
4. Piñata Letters ($18): Don’t forget to use spellcheck.
5. Sushi Piñata ($65): Sushi! With a face?!
6. Dodo Piñata ($80): Take a big swing at this big bird — before it flies away forever.
7. Wedding Vine Piñata ($284): Sunny Day Supplies is killing it with their array of posh papier-mâché breakables.
8. Jacques the Octopus ($75): OMG, we want to be best friends with this little gentleman.
9. The Beatles Yellow Submarine Piñata ($60): We can’t all live in a yellow submarine, but we can fill one with candy.
10. Chocolate Cake Slice ($90): Cut us off a slice, maybe two.
11. Heart Piñata ($70): A shiny, shimmering piñata to make your heart skip a beat. This heart, however, will not skip a beating.
12. Robot Piñata ($60): “ERROR… AM. TOO. CUTE… MY. CUTENESS. DOES. NOT. COMPUTE.”
13. Hungry Caterpillar ($58): Just like the very hungry caterpillar, we’ll eat EVERYTHING inside this thing, fall into a food coma and emerge days later as a beautiful butterfly.
15. Carl From Up ($135): If you break this piñata, we’ll never invite you to our birthday party again. You heartless beast.
16. T-Rex ($18): Anyone else picturing Dr. Ian Malcom and the glass of water on the dashboard?
20. Green Parrot ($38): If this parrot could talk, we think it would say, “Take your best shot.”
22. Popsicle Piñata ($30): We were hungry…
24. Pink Pig ($41): This little piggy went wee, wee… WHACK!
25. Raining Love Cloud ($25): Forecast — cloudy with a chance of love showers.
26. Stork ($55): A bunch of hormonal pregnant women in one room? Use caution when giving them a baseball bat.
27. Pirate Ship ($100): This is a piñata? THIS?! Whoa.
What have you been whacking with a big stick? Let us know in the comments!