On October 20, Selma Blair took to Instagram to share an emotional post about her recent multiple sclerosis diagnosis. It’s been a month since her announcement, and this week saw the 46-year-old celebrating her first Thanksgiving since receiving the news. Taking to Instagram once more, she revealed that while she is grieving, she’s also “still grateful.”

Sharing a photo of herself holding her hands together as if to pray, the actress reflected on her life, writing, “Thanksgiving is dwindling down for me. I stayed home. It was the right place for me today. And tears came.”

Blair said she spent the day watching a “sublime” Joan Didion documentary. “Her dedication to her life’s work, her way of observing humanity and her ever present dignity through her writing and her presence… cracked me,” she shared. “I have always been grateful to her. She is so much of a person.”

Then, she got personal. “I have been grieving recently,” she continued. “For the things I took for granted. A cartwheel for my son being one. I was the most gymnastic mom I knew. A cartwheel was just as easy as taking a breath. But when I began to turn one yesterday on an impulse to show my son who had forgotten, it went all wrong. A jumble of confusion for this body I knew so well. A heap. A heap on the ground. And I tried to laugh. As did my son. But it was a turning point. Part of the grim realization.”

“Is this just #ms or is this still an exacerbation?” the Legally Blonde star asked, fearing that her symptoms may be getting worse. “Five months and still same way. Or is this my new normal? And then more gets taken away. As Joan has written. The center will not hold. And as I write… neither will the rest of it. So I thank you all for propping me up. We all have something. Now how do we handle it? What do we do when the news is old but dramatically altering our lives every day? Still grateful.”

What do you think of Selma Blair’s reflective post? Tweet us @BritandCo.

(photo via Kevin Winter/Getty Images)