From Survival Mode To Thriving: Regulating Your Nervous System In Challenging Times

Personality Types And How They Deal With Stress

The personality type framework, as measured by the Myers-Briggs(MBTI) assessment, looks at four aspects of personality:

• Extraversion-Introversion — People with an Extraversion personality preference are energized by and focus their attention on what’s happening around them, their external world. They are likely to find spending too much time alone without enough external stimulation quite stressful. People with an Introversion preference are energized by and focus their attention on their inner world of thoughts and feelings. They can become stressed if they are forced to spend too much time with others, or when they have to cope with too many external distractions.
• Sensing-Intuition — is all about how we take in information. People with a Sensing preference prefer information that is realistic, practical, built on past or present real-life experiences, and often detailed. They can be stressed when things are ambiguous and unclear, without any clear direction. People with an Intuition preference are interested in the big picture, in how things connect, and in ideas rather than facts. They will find having to follow exact instructions stressful, and working with people who demand lots of detail.
• Thinking-Feeling —People with a Thinking preference want to make decisions using objective logic and will be stressed when decisions seem to be subjective, or when they are forced to concentrate on people rather than the task at hand. People with a Feeling preference want to make decisions that line up with their values and they will be stressed if they feel that those values are not being respected, and when there is conflict.
• Judging-Perceiving — People with a Judging preference want to live in an organized, planned way and will find dealing with disorganized people stressful, or having to rush things at the last minute. People with a Judging preference want to live in a more spontaneous, emergent way and will become stressed when they have to deal with inflexible people, or when they are forced to make decisions before they feel they really need to.

Everyone will have a preference for Extraversion (E) or Introversion (I), for Sensing (S) or for Intuition (N), for Thinking (T) or for Feeling (F), and for Judging (J) or for Perceiving (P). These four preferences combine together dynamically to give one of 16 types. For example, if someone has preferences for Extraversion, Sensing, Thinking and Judging, then their overall type would be ESTJ. If you know your type, you can identify your likely stressors (and so avoid or mitigate them), your typical behavior under everyday stress (so that you can recognize when you are stressed) and what to do to cope with that reaction, stop the stress cycle and so build resilience. Here’s the detail for each type.

ESTP and ESFP

Stressors

• Lack of stimulation and excitement
• Theoretical, abstract tasks without any practical application right now
• Being physically confined, e.g. though illness or circumstance

Behavior under everyday stress

• Seeks out more and more external stimulation and excitement
• May behave in a thrill-seeking or dangerous way or over-indulge
• Lives solely in the present moment and will not make any decisions

How to stop the stress cycle

• Pause, stop what you are doing, or think through what you will do next before you do it

ESTJ and ENTJ

Stressors

• Inefficient people, systems, or organizations
• Lack of closure, not being able to make decisions, blockers
• Having to focus on people's feelings, rather than the task

Behavior under everyday stress

• Becomes overly directive, forceful, or even aggressive
• Makes snap decisions and imposes them on others
• Dismisses evidence/other opinions that don't fir your view

How to stop the stress cycle

• Stop making any decisions until you have taken some time out to explore all the available information.

ENTP and ENFP

Stressors

• People who say "it'll never work"
• Too much seemingly irrelevant detail
• Lack of variety; not being able to do anything new

Behavior under everyday stress

• Shares increasingly impractical ideas with more and more people
• Unable to take things seriously, becomes destructively 'playful'
• Will be tied down to decisions

How to stop the stress cycle

• Slow down. Take some time out to quietly decide on a course of action

ESFJ and ENFJ

Stressors

• Conflict with others and between others
• Lack of warmth, not having friendliness reciprocated
• Injustice in the world at large

Behavior under everyday stress

• Become effusive and over-friendly
• Becomes demanding in getting your own and others' needs met
• Interprets situations in terms of your values, ignoring any other evidence

How to stop the stress cycle

• Step back from the situation and the people involved and consider alternatives and the facts

INTP and ISTP

Stressors

• Having your carefully reasoned solutions dismissed or ignored
• Illogical decisions that have not been thought through
• Excessive displays of approval or emotion from others

Behavior under everyday stress

• Withdraws to solve problems by yourself
• Fixates on finding the one correct solution
• Ignores other people; makes decisions without informing them

How to stop the stress cycle

• Talk to others to explore information and ideas

ISTJ and ISFJ

Stressors

• Having to act without detailed, practical information or plans
• Having the lessons of your experience dismissed by others
• Changing things that already work

Behavior under everyday stress

• Obsessively searches for that one important piece of information
• Withdraws from the outer world
• Cannot make a decision until all the information has been found

How to stop the stress cycle

• Talk to others to help you prioritize and make a decision

ISFP and INFP

Stressors

• People who ignore, dismiss, or contravene your values
• Working in a job that is at odds with those values
• Inflexible and unthinking people or organizations

Behavior under everyday stress

• Withdraws into an inner dialogue
• Obsessively works through decisions that fir your values
• Ignores facts that do not fit with the picture you have painted

How to stop the stress cycle

• Talk to others to get their reassurance and help in considering the facts and alternatives

INTJ and INFJ

Stressors

• Not having time to think through possibilities before answering
• Having your well-considered ideas dismissed or ignored
• Disorganized, opinionated people

Behavior under everyday stress

• Withdraws to build increasingly complex ideas in your head
• These models may become divorced from reality
• Unable to act under every possibility has been explored

How to stop the stress cycle

• Talk to others to help decide which of your many ideas should be pursued

Best Foods For Your Skin

Grapes, Strawberries, Blood Oranges, and Watermelon

Elina Fedotova of Elina Organics, says that colorful fruit are key to achieving good skin! She says, "Colorful fruits and vegetables are rich in antioxidants, and healthy fats like butter or plant oils help improve skin immunity and protect against environmental UV damage. Liquid collagen is popular as a skin-rejuvenating food or supplement, but when you do that, make sure you are making the smoothie with collagen peptides. The collagen is broken into small pieces called peptides which absorb much better and signal your body to regenerate collagen." So clearly, collagen is vital if you want to have glowy skin.

Elina also says, "It is a scientifically proven fact that people who eat very high levels of antioxidant-rich diets with fruits and vegetables and anthocyanosides — they can stay in the sun without any protection much longer because their body can protect them naturally from UV damage." Her three rules for healthy skin?

1. No processed foods.
2. Eat tons of antioxidants.
3. Use an SPF — preferably one that is a mineral Zinc Oxide based — alongside protective hats in the sun.

So not only can certain foods make your skin look radiant, they can also protecting you from the sun with proper precautions! We love to hear that!

Leafy Greens, Broccoli, Asparagus, and Edamame

Leafy greens, broccoli, asparagus, and edamame are some of our favorite foods to eat that will give you that inside-out glow. Nutritionist and wellness expert Jessica Green says, "Silica rich foods are a great place to start — these include celery, asparagus, banana, cucumber, green beans to name my favorite. When you juice some of these, they can become more bio-available. Celery juice for instance is excellent at giving your skin a beautiful natural glow. Collagen rich foods can help improve skin elasticity — bone broth is my absolute favorite for not only its skin benefit but bone broth is also very calming for the gut."

Skin elasticity can easily be improved through these foods and can make you look 10 years younger! I definitely notice a significant difference in my skin when I regularly eat collagen-rich foods than when I don't!

Avocado and Olive Oil

Avocados and olive oil are really going to up your skin game, and giving you that gorgeous glow for summer we're really looking for. Kristen White, RDN, CLT, says, "Clean fats like olive oil, avocados, coconut oil, and tallow in our diet help replenish needed vitamins and fatty acids to help skin look its vibrant best." That's exactly what we want!

In regards to olive oil, it really is the must-have when it comes to achieving a glowy complexion. Jenny Jiles, a holistic nutritionist says, "Olive oil is the GOAT. We know why all of those women in the Mediterranean look so vibrant and sexy as they age, because olive oil is such a staple in their diet. Don’t be afraid of this healthy fat, it’s filled with antioxidants and omega 3 fatty acids which help protect your skin from free radicals to reduce those fine lines and help you glow from the inside out. Add olive oil to any and all of your meals, savory or sweet (yes, trust me on that)." So I guess the key to looking like an Italian goddess this summer (and always) is olive oil!

Chia, Flax Seeds, and Sunflower Seeds

Many seeds and grains are going to be crucial in giving you radiant skin. Plus, they have so many healing properties that can help reduce redness and inflammation in the skin. Christine Glaser, CEO of DIY Skincare Business, says, "Chia and flax seeds are also helpful for all skin types and can aid in toxin removal." And sunflower seeds actually have antibacterial properties too that help get rid of toxins in order to keep your skin looking fresh and clear; thus the radiant skin we're trying to achieve here!

Red Bell Peppers, Carrot, and Tomatoes

You always want to have a variety of colors when eating fruits and vegetables because this will help you get the most out of your diet and achieve maximum radiance. A health expert and dietician, Chrissy Arsenault of Kori, says, "Eat lots of fruits and veggies. Choose 2-3 colors of fruits and veggies at every meal – fruits and veggies are rich in antioxidants (vitamins A, C, E) that protect your skin from damage." And tomatoes, carrots, and bell peppers are very rich in color so they will give you so many great nutritional benefits that will assist in giving you a perfect inside-out glow!

What foods should I avoid for my skin?

If you want radiant, clear, acne-free skin then you definitely want to avoid foods high in dairy or sugar. Jessica Green says, "When it comes to foods to avoid for radiant skin, sugar and dairy float to the top. Both are inflammatory. Sugar causes glycation which damages the skin's elasticity. Dairy (cow dairy specifically) tends to be one of the most common foods that cause reactions for people including acne and puffiness." I'm definitely taking note to try and cut our these foods now!

May 2024: How to End a Love Story

How to End a Love Story by Yulin Kuang

April 2024: The Most Fun We Ever Had

The Most Fun We Ever Had by Claire Lombardo

When Marilyn Connolly and David Sorenson fell in love, all they knew is that nothing could shake their foundation. Despite their unwavering hope in the past, their current reality looks differently than they imagined. Their four daughters — Wendy, Violet, Liza, and Grace — each have a unique set of problems that creates of chaos for the family. From the loss of one's husband to the secrets the youngest daughter keeps, the Sorensons are never quite sure what to expect.

In a shocking turn of events, a young man — Jonah Bendt — shows up and reveals that one of the daughters is his mom. He was placed up for adoption some time ago, but he's ready to come home to learn more about his biological family. There may be drama in The Most Fun We Ever Had, but there's still a family who finds a way back to the love that Marilyn and David have always believed in.

Art student Raquel only comes Anita de Monte's story after she starts feeling like she's starting to make a name for herself among College Hill's socialites. The more she learns about how Anita's life was horrifically cut short, she starts drawing parallels between their lives. It's almost like history is repeating itself and it's hitting too close to home.

As Gonzalez alternates between both of their perspectives, Raquel and Anita's lives begin to intersect in a way that makes Anita de Monte Laughs Last the kind of novel that'll have you thinking about it longer after you finish the last page.

Redwood Court reads like a historical love letter to Black families and contains relationships that remind me of my own family. When Mika Tabor starts asking questions about her family's history, she receives much more than her class assignment asked for. The more she listens to her grandparents and observes her parents, she realizes they've been telling her meaningful stories all along. From tales of racism to the sweet grasp of a world that began moving past obvious racial tension, this novel offers a glimpse into the homes of many Black families.

While I often say I'd like to pass down books to my kids, Redwood Court has become something that I feel is mandatory to read.

January 2024: "First Lie Wins" by Ashley Elston

Reese's Book Club is coming in hot with their first pick of the year! This thriller of a reader is all about "Evie Porter" and her separate identities. One paints the picture of who she truly is, but her job places her in the position of assuming a new name in order to complete the mission given to her by Mr. Smith. She's never met Mr. Smith, her boss, but she has the inkling that her latest mission hits a little too close to home.

Does he know more about her than she realizes and can she successfully fulfill the goal he has for? Buy your copy of First Lie Wins today to find out!

What would you do if you knew a terrible secret that involved the death of one of your best friends? In Before We Were Innocent, Bess and Joni find themselves trying to escape answering this. However, some things are hard to bury — especially when the past comes knocking in the form of Joni. Will the two former best friends be able to maintain their innocence or will they have to accept the truth about themselves?

If the past few years have felt like you've been stuck in a weird time loop, you'll love this page turner by Cesca Major. Maybe Next Time follows Emma as she navigates being a busy literary agent, wife and mother - except she only seems to have time for her career. When her husband is involved in a tragic car accident, Emma finds herself distraught only to wake up and see him alive again.

As the scenario continues to repeat, Emma will have to dig deep inside herself to correct patterns she's been a part of her to save not only her husband but life as she knows it.

Starling House is a daring tale of what happens when dreams meet determination, grit and evil. All Opal wants to do is create a haven for herself and her brother Jasper but she'll have to fight for it once she finds herself in the mysterious mansion of author E. Starling. In the depths of the shadows, she'll come face to face with things that'll test her resilience.

The women of the Rubicon family have a lot to tangle with in Mother-Daughter Murder Night. When powerful matriarch Lana's granddaughter Jack becomes the prime suspect in an unsolved murder, Lana becomes determined to find a killer instead of waiting for her disease to have it's last say. Find out what Nina Simon has in store for the town the Rubicons find themselves living in.

Tom Lake weaves a beautiful tale of remembered love and viewing the humanity of one's parent. When Lara begins to regale her three daughters of a former romance she shared with actor Peter Duke at Tome Lake, they begin to take stock of what they know about their mom as well as their own love lives.

Heartbreak has the potential to make you swear off love, which is something that late night writer Sally Milz knows all too well. She's also a firm believer in the "Danny Horst Rule," the phenomenon where average looking men exclusively date women more attractive than them — until pop star Noah Brewster shows up to host the late night show. Join her for an intoxicating love ride that makes her change her perspective.

If you love a good romance-murder mystery, you'll fall in love with Kya's story. After the town's golden boy winds up dead, everyone in town begins blaming Kya for his murder. With heartbreak and triumph woven throughout, Where The Crawdads Sing will become the summer read you can't put down.

Even when forbidden, love seems to find a way in The House of Eve. 15-year-old Ruby is set to be her family's first college attendee, until it appears a scandalous affair will bring her back into poverty. Meanwhile, Eleanor's in love with William, a member of an elite Black family in D.C. that doesn't let just anyone in. The lives of both women will collide in an unexpected way as they forge their own paths.

Maya witnessed her friend's sudden death in the woods seven years ago. Now, with nothing except a few hazy memories, she's determined to figure out what she saw, and who's behind it. The House In The Pines is proof that sometimes our past — and their secrets — don't stay dead.

Life can feel like a dumpster fire sometimes which is why Tiny Beautiful Things feels like a soothing hug. If you love advice columns, you'll love the beautiful compilation of questions "Dear Sugar" answers within the pages as Clare sets out to offer advice while her own life falls apart. After you read the book, check out our interview with Sarah Pidgeon, who stars in the Hulu series!

New friends Mia and Elena are pitted against each other when everyone in town splits over a custody battle. Adapted into a mini-series on Hulu at the beginning of the pandemic, Little Fires Everywhere is a tale that shows everything isn't always what it seems, and there are always secrets to be discovered.

Wrong Place, Wrong Time is a novel that explores the lengths a mother is willing to take to prevent her son from doing something unspeakable. Will she be able to piece together clues in time or will all hope remain lost?

This titular novel turned Emmy award-nominated Amazon Prime series Daisy Jones & The Six explores the rise — and fall — of a legendary (and fictional) band.

This heartwarming book about life at the River Valley School for the Deaf, and all of its students with completely different backgrounds, will make you laugh and cry with its beautiful depiction of human connection.

If you've never liked hearing "How can you hate from outside the club? You can't even get in," you'll be glad you're not a part of this members-only society. The club has been pushed to its limit and everyone has something to hide.

Nan infiltrates Agatha Christie's home in 1925, intent on luring her husband away. There's something about love, affairs, and dark secrets that make for a good read, and you won't be able to get enough of this tale where things aren't always what they seem.

"She's so lucky" ...or is she? Lucky redefines what it means to be honest when the titular character completes a million-dollar heist, and is left stranded by the very people who taught her how to scam.

When Anna learns the father she never knew is still alive, she travels to West Africa in search of answers. The tale of self-discovery through one's history, as well as the themes of home and belonging, is something we all long to understand at some point.

Families can be complicated, and the Alvarados are no different. If you're looking for a little break from your own family dynamics, you'll get a kick out of reading along as they navigate evacuations, relationship problems, and their father's obsession with the Weather Channel.

What happens when desire spills over and threatens to unravel everything two friends have built? The Paper Palace answers that as Elle must choose between continuing the life she has dedicated herself to and the life she never got to live.

When former lovers Eva and Shane reunite in the midst of their successful literary careers, they find that their chemistry is still as strong as it used to be. But, will the flame fizzle before their lingering questions are answered or will Eva choose vulnerability before Shane disappears again?

What would you do if your significant other disappeared without a trace, only leaving a cryptic note behind? In Hannah's case, she sets out on an unpredictable mission for answers — regardless of what lies ahead. After you read the book, check out our interview with Angourie Rice, who stars in the Apple TV+ series!

Le Sommet is a sanatorium-turned-luxury hotel in the Swiss Alps. Detective Elin arrives to celebrate her estranged brother Isaac's engagement to Laure, and her discomfort turns to all-out horror when Laure goes missing.

DNA tests can reveal new information about our ancestry, but when Abby learns that she has an older sister — and that her older sister is an Instagram star — the women decide to meet up and get to the bottom of why their parents split them up in the first place.

Nothing brings families together like food and age-old rivalries, something that sisters Amanda and Mae learn firsthand when they end up on opposite sides of a cooking competition. If you love hit TV series The Bear, you'll love The Chicken Sisters.

Other Stories On Reese Witherspoon's Book Club List

• "Yellowface" by R.F. Kuang
• "Cassandra in Reverse" by Holly Smale
• "Did You Hear About Kitty Karr?" by Crystal Smith Paul
• "The Nightingale" by Kristin Hannah
• "The Marriage Portrait" by Maggie O'Farrell
• "Our Missing Hearts" by Celeste Ng
• "On The Rooftop" by Margaret Wilkerson Sexton
• "Honey & Spice" by Bolu Babalola
• "Counterfeit" by Kirstin Chen
• "The Dictionary of Lost Words" by Pip Williams
• "Anatomy" by Dana Schwartz
• "Honor" by Thrity Umrigar
• "The Island of Missing Trees" by Elif Shafak
• "Within These Wicked Walls" by Lauren Blackwood
• "We Were Never Here" by Andrea Bartz
• "The Downstairs Girl" by Stacey Lee
• "Tokyo Ever After" by Emiko Jean
• "Northern Spy" by Flynn Berry
• "Firekeeper's Daughter" by Angeline Boulley
• "Infinite Country" by Patricia Engel
• "Outlawed" by Anna North
• "The Light in Hidden Places" by Sharon Cameron
• "A Cuban Girl's Guide to Tea and Tomorrow" by Laura Taylor Namey
• "Group" by Christie Tate
• "Fable" by Adrienne Young
• "His Only Wife" by Peace Medie Adzo
• "Furia" by Yamile Saied Mendez
• "The Last Story of Mina Lee" by Nancy Jooyoun Kim
• "You Should See Me in a Crown" by Leah Johnson
• "Everything Inside" by Edwidge Danticat
• "I'm Still Here" by Austin Channing Brown
• "The Guest List" by Lisa Foley
• "The Henna Artist" by Alka Joshi
• "UNTAMED" by Glennon Doyle
• "The Jetsetters" by Amanda Eyre Ward
• "The Scent Keeper" by Erica Bauermeister
• "Such a Fun Age" by Kiley Reid
• "Conviction" by Denise Mina
• "The Giver of Stars" by Jojo Moye
• "Fair Play" by Eve Rodsky
• "The Secrets We Kept" by Lara Prescott
• "The Last House Guest" by Megan Miranda
• "Whisper Network" by Chandler Baker
• "The Cactus" by Sarah Haywood
• "From Scratch" by Tembi Locke
• "The Night Tiger" by Yangsze Choo
• "The Proposal" by Jasmine Guillory
• "The Library Book" by Susan Orlean
• "One Day in December" by Josie Silver
• "The Other Woman" by Sandie Jones
• "This Is How It Always Is" by Laurie Frankel
• "Still Lives" by Maria Hummel
• "Next Year in Havana" by Chanel Cleeton
• "Something in the Water" by Catherine Steadman
• "You Think It, I'll Say It" by Curtis Sittenfeld
• "Happiness" by Heather Harpham
• "Erotic Stories For Punjabi Widows" by Balli Kaur Jaswal
• "The Light We Lost" by Jill Santopolo
• "Braving the Wilderness" by Brené Brown
• "The Last Mrs. Parrish" by Liv Constantine
• "The Is the Story of a Happy Marriage" by Ann Patchett
• “The Rules of Magic” by Alice Hoffman
• "The Lying Game" by Ruth Ware
• "The Alice Network" by Kate Quinn
• "Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine" by Gail Honeyman