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Making friends as an adult can be hard, and if you ask me, nothing is harder than having to wade through small talk. Asking about work or how someone's day went makes every interaction feel like a first date. Of course, I want to know about work and how someone's day went — I just want to know more.
The key to making small talk more fun is figuring out what someone likes to talk about. Are they into pop culture? History or sports? Their faith? Once you crack the code on what they love to talk about, your conversation will instantly flow. Here are 11 questions you can ask a new friend that make small talk feel bigger.
What are your hobbies?
My favorite thing to do when talking to a new friend is to ask them how they spend their time. Because while school and work can have elements of responsibility or obligation, hobbies are pure fun! This is a good question to open your small talk with because it'll help you both loosen up and think about something you love to do. Plus, if you end up learning you share a hobby, you have even more to talk about! (As I discovered during my conversation with author Yulin Kuang!)
What's your favorite way to unwind?
If you want your conversation to feel more relaxed, well, ask about relaxation! Whether your new friend does yoga, they spend a half hour doing skincare, or they read a book chapter every night, this question is sure to get a positive response. Speaking of books...
What are you watching or reading right now?
Netflix
There are so many movies, TV shows, and books out right now that you're both bound to be in the middle of one title or another. I can (and do) spend hours upon hours talking about my favorite TV shows. This is one small talk question that can make even the most awkward convo enjoyable.
What fictional character is closest to your personality?
Netflix
And if the TV conversation goes well, take it a step farther by asking which fictional character your new friend relates to the most. It'll give you a little more insight into their personality, and it's just plain fun.
Which Taylor Swift era are you in?
If you and your acquaintance are both Taylor Swift fans, dive deep into your current eras. Whether you're in your Lover era or you're embracing the carefree chaos of 1989, this is the perfect excuse to queue up your Taylor Swift playlist.
Are you a morning person or a night person?
If you're both morning people, you can bond over how nice it is to be the early birds, while two night people will have plenty to talk about when it comes to nightlife or the best places to look at the stars. And if you're opposites, you can give each other tips!
Are you a chocolate person, vanilla person, or neither?
I don't know about y'all, but I refuse to order ice cream unless it's chocolate. I love consistently knowing what to expect. Maybe your new friend feels the same way, or they prefer the spontaneity of ordering a new flavor every single time. Either way, it'll give you a look at their personality AND lead you to the ice cream store. It's a win-win.
What fruit are you?
My current go-to question was born out of my interview with The Outsiders cast (in honor of character Cherry Valance). My current answer is strawberry for a few simple reasons: you know what you're in for, it can be super sweet, and on a good day, it's the same on the inside at the outside.
What's something you're proud of this year?
It's crazy that we're halfway through 2024! Let the conversation take an exciting turn by remembering something fun, memorable, and beautiful.
What's one thing you want to check off your bucket list this year?
But don't spend all your time talking about the past! Think ahead to the second half of the year and talk about a dream or goal you have. It can be as small as finally ordering frames for your gallery wall or as big as scoring a promotion.
Where do you want to travel?
Summer's not over yet! Daydream about somewhere you'd like to see one day, like Italy or Seoul. And in the meantime, plan a day trip somewhere close by :).
Read up on 10 Thought-Provoking Questions To Know Close Friends More Intimately for more!
Lead image via Laura Du Vé/Refinery29 Australia for Getty Images
