You went on what seems like a zillion dates. Finally met the man of your dreams (okay, so a Hemsworth wasn’t available, and you had to settle for the sweet, thoughtful, smart, adorable guy who proposed). Got married. And made the decision to put the just-the-two-of-us days behind you. After years of doing everything you could do to not get pregnant, you assumed it would be a snap to conceive. But it wasn’t. Infertility isn’t easy. You’re frustrated, disappointed and confused — but, you’re not alone. Coping with the stress of infertility is something that you can do together as a couple. Yes, there’s the serious stuff (the open, honest conversations and the therapy). Along with that you can also try a few lighter (i.e., fab, fun and completely not deep) ideas!
1. Get back to nature. Dr. Deborah Simmons, PhD, LMFT, marriage and family therapist who specializes in infertility, stillbirth, miscarriage and pregnancy complications, says, “Nature helps almost everyone.” Dr. Simmons suggests, “Get outside with your partner, without pressure or schedules, preferably in a place that isn’t filled with strollers or pregnant bellies. Take a walk and hold hands, to remind yourselves physically about your connection. Talk or be quiet together. You were connected lovingly to one another before infertility. Work actively now to keep that connection alive and remind each other that you will get through this together.”
2. Skate away. Remember roller skating? You were nine and begged your mom for a skating birthday party. The wooden floor, the disco lights and ’80s jams all made it a simply special experience. Relive your youth, take your mind off of baby-making and head out for a couple’s skate (you can also try the ice kind too). Keep in mind, when you do get pregnant, your growing belly bump will make this type of retro adventure a total no-no. So, why not take advantage and go for it now?
3. Do good. The two of you have been concentrating on one thing 24-7: baby-making. Concentrating non-stop on conception is completely understandable. You have all the love in the world to give your someday-baby, so go ahead and put it to use right now. Both of you can pick a charity cause to help out with. Volunteer to lead a dance class at your local senior center, serve a meal at a soup kitchen or grab a hammer and help build a home for a deserving family. Whatever you do, you’re doing good for someone else — together.
4. Get artsy. Let your couple-style creativity flow! Art opens up your emotions and lets your feelings out. That’s exactly what both of you may need right now. And, you never have to say a word. This can come in handy (to say the least) if one, or both, of you are struggling to talk about what’s been going on. Don’t worry if you’re not exactly on the level of Van Gogh. Cover a canvas with your very own co-painting techniques or play with clay. It doesn’t have to be a super-romantic Ghost type of pottery wheel scene. Just do whatever feels right.
5. Pamper yourselves. That is, pamper yourselves together. Book a couple’s massage or spend the day at a spa. Not into going out? Or, maybe your guy is shy about getting a facial in public (even though he secretly loves it). Relax at home with your own DIY version. A little sugar scrub, some sweet-smelling moisturizer and even a clear-coat pedicure will help you both de-stress.
6. Run away. Okay, not literally. You know you can’t actually “run away” from your problems. But, you can let some of that pent up infertility irritability out with an afternoon of exercise. Get your running buddy (i.e., your guy) and head out for your own mini marathon.
What’s your favorite couple-time activity? Share your pick and tweet us @BritandCo !
(Photos via Getty)