It’s the season of the vacation on Keeping Up With the Kardashians, as the girls get wild before literally all of them get (okay, reportedly) pregnant. This week, it’s Kourtney’s birthday and she’s taking her 17 closest friends to Mexico, as one should for their milestone 38th birthday.
Khloé, queen of trip planning, can’t come because Tristan has a game. Really, girl? You can’t miss one game for your big sis, Kourtney? She’s never turning 38 again! Kim is happily along for the ride, but the situation brings up some serious anxiety as a result of post-traumatic stress from the Paris robbery.
Kim, Kourtney, and Krew are staying at Joe Francis’s Mexican estate and Kim is immediately at unease. She calls Joe sobbing asking him if it’s safe to be there. It dawns on her as she arrives that 17 girls with Chanel and Louis Vuitton bags might be sitting ducks. Joe calms Kim down and convinces her to stay. She lets loose a bit, if not quite matching her older sister’s um, spirited, glory.
“Imagine being totally sober laying in bed,” Kim says, “hearing ‘Despacito’ 35 times in a row and people breaking things, falling over.” It’s just not Kim’s scene anymore and she leaves early. On the plane back to Los Angeles, Kim admits that she has changed. The old Kim went to a new restaurant or club every night hoping to be noticed, where now she wants to stay in and not be followed as much outside of what she controls on social media. Kim is set off by paparazzi photos from Mexico that accentuate her cellulite and realizes that going on this trip might not have been the best idea. Hold tight, Kim! Healing is a process and you don’t have to keep up with Kourtney to get through this.
Meanwhile, a very moody Scott wants to go with Kourtney and the kids on a vacation after Mexico for his birthday, but her sisters think that’s a terrible idea as these family trips always give him mixed signals. So Kris and Scott decide to camp out in Kourtney’s backyard while she’s in Mexico. Scott imagines something resembling roughing it in the wild (of a Calabasas backyard, anyway), but Kris has something else planned entirely. She has a crew set up large tents with down sleeping bags and cashmere blankets before having a chef prepare dinner. Scott at least roasts hot dogs and makes s’mores at the fire pit but retires to bed when Kourtney FaceTimes Kris from Mexico.
After the Mexico trip, Kourtney and Kris catch up. Kris tells Kourtney she shouldn’t post to social media when she throws up four times and sleeps in it but Kourtney isn’t having it. Everyone on social media takes themselves so seriously. Kourtney’s having fun! Let Kourtney sleep in her own vomit on Snapchat, Kris!
When Kris has glowing things to say about Scott and her camping trip, Kourtney hits back, insisting that she should be able to live her life without false assurances from her family that Scott is acting saintly. He may be roasting weenies with Kris but Kourtney has the names of five women he’s been hooking up with behind all of their backs. Man, it only took one episode and I already have the worst Scott fatigue. Can we just spin him off into nothingness at this point?
MVP is still up for grabs this season. Khloé sat out most of this episode, which might put her slightly ahead considering Kim and Kourtney’s drama. That said, Kim deserves all of the props for going through the motions of grief and anxiety and being honest to her friends and family about the pain and fear she feels. And let’s just let Kourtney live! She gave up most of her young adulthood for Scott, and while she got cute kids out of the deal, it’s time for her to spread those wings and overindulge until she’s had her fill. Party on, Kourt!
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(Photos via E! + Getty)