Now that we’ve settled into our New Year’s resolution routine (or not), we’ve been presented with a new opportunity to refresh our lives with new goals: Lent. The interesting thing about Lent is that it’s 40 days long — which, incidentally, is the same amount of time (give or take a week) that it takes to create new habits. This is the perfect time to think about what things you might want to give up in order to make your current relationship even stronger. Check out these habits experts say are worth breaking up with.
1. Not Setting Boundaries: “There’s this belief that when we’re intimate with someone, we can’t set boundaries with them. However, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Boundaries are an essential part of relationships! Boundaries ensure that no one partner feels less than or resentful to the other.” — Tiffany Toombs, Life Coach
2. Putting “Me” Before “We”: “As relationships move on through day-to-day life, it can be easy to forget about your partner as you focus on the demands of your job, mental health, and responsibilities. Before you make a decision (even if it’s as small as where to grab dinner tonight), think about whether or not the decision is benefitting your partner as opposed to just making things convenient for you.”— Michela Hattabaugh, Three Day Rule matchmaker
3. Laziness: “Think about how much effort you put into the beginning of your relationship during the courting phase. Being attentive, courteous, going out of your way to understand your partner, planning special dates, etc. This attitude tends to go out the window after couples have been together for a while — then they come to therapy and wonder, ‘Where’s the spark?’ It went out because you stopped tending to it! So the first relationship no-no is laziness. You’ve got to put the same amount of effort into your relationship now as you did in the first 90 days if you want it to thrive.” — Bianca L. Rodriguez, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
4. Fighting About Money With Your Partner: “A lot of couples that I work with ultimately came to me because they both were exhausted from fighting about money constantly. If neither person is used to navigating money in a productive way, it often leads to huge blow-ups without resolution.” — Emily Shutt, Certified Financial Coach
5. Keeping Score: “If you keep score about what your partner did and didn’t do in the relationship, it’s best to let that go. All relationships involve give and take — but it will never be truly equal all the time. Holding onto resentment over the issue will only poison the relationship.” — Jonathan Bennett, Certified Counselor
What relationship habit would you like to kick? Let us know @BritandCo!
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