Keeping Special Occasions Special with Your S.O.
Since our world has been turned upside down by Covid-19, and we are shut inside due to social distancing measures, we might be feeling like the days are running into each other.
You've seen the memes talking about forgetting which day it is, right? Well, that "losing time" can be a great gift – but it also can cause us to forget to make some occasion special even during quarantine.
How do you make a day feel like a celebration when every day seems the same? How do you keep special occasions "special"? Here are some tips to help you celebrate during this time.
IT'S ALL IN THE TIMING
Time. We seem to have more of it these days. That is why it is even more important to set aside time – plenty of time – for your special occasion. Whether it is a birthday or an anniversary, carving out time devoted to celebrating is a major plus during social isolation – or anytime.
When you set aside time, you are saying that occasion or person is important to you. So, don't just assume things will happen – make sure you schedule the time and plan.
One thing we have noticed is that there is not a lot of diversity in our day-to-day events. So, planning a surprise to break up the monotony is a great idea for special occasions. But how do you plan a surprise for someone you are quarantined with, without them finding out?
Well, for example, if it is your spouse's birthday, consider serendipitously texting their friends and plan a fun Zoom birthday party! Or have a social distance gathering on your lawn (maintaining the proper distance) as a surprise. "Hey, honey can you take out the trash?" Then she sees her friends on the front lawn with a cake. Yay!
You can even plan a sexy surprise. Buy them a sexy somethin' somethin' and place it under their pillow with a sexy cute note.
CREATE A RITUAL
You can turn what matters most in your life into a ritual. A ritual is "a sequence of activities involving gestures, words, actions, or objects, performed in a sequestered place and according to set sequence."
By setting an intention, creating space in your time and your environment, and planning your special occasion, you are in essence treating it with respect and importance, much like a ritual does. You can create a ritual out of almost any activity, even social media scrolling! That anniversary or birthday that comes around every year – or even the "date night" you and your partner have committed to monthly…those are things that recur over and over so a ritual around them can make them special.
During this quarantine, we have more time to sit and contemplate without the usual bustle of life. In your quiet time, think about what this special occasion (or occasions) mean to you. Use that meaning to plan the ritual of the occasion. Maybe your goal is to ritualize sex with your partner.
If you want to avoid a quarantine breakup, you might want to ramp up your "gratitude game" by writing a love note, sharing how you feel or perhaps buying gifts for your partner. Maybe you can use a little of your stimulus check!
If you are celebrating an anniversary during quarantine, you can still make it special without going on an outing, a trip or going to a restaurant. Luxurious gifts are not required to make it special.
Get creative. Your gift can be as simple as a small stress reliever. With the time you have, you can pull together photos of you together and create a card or a special video. Write a poem expressing your love and appreciation. The more specific to the person, the more special it will be to them.
If you want to sprinkle some special on an occasion while in quarantine, I suggest you remember to plan. Here are some simple ways to plan ahead to give to your partner during quarantine for an anniversary or other special occasion:
- Candles – A candle-lit dinner is one way to create a different mood that will make any dinner special.
- Talk – Get to know your partner by taking the time to ask questions. What are their dreams? Does it feel funny to ask that question? It is probably because we don't stop to ask questions beyond "what should we have for dinner tonight?" Part of making a special occasion special is connection. Find a way to really connect with your partner and yourself.
- Reminisce – Remember your first date? The first steps your daughter took? The most romantic date you had? The best sex? Honor those memories by retelling the stories of them. You can even recreate them if you want. Be creative and open. Just putting some focus on the good times can help you feel the good times now and for the future despite what the news is spewing at you.
The Covid-19 pandemic didn't shut down fun, happiness, connection or celebration. Thumb your nose at the stress by planning a great special occasion!
Editor's Note: This article is part of a week devoted to sex education. We reached out to a few of our favorite sex experts (sexperts? couldn't resist) to share their advice, knowledge and thoughts on sexual wellness, relationships and more. This story originally appeared on SexWithEmily.com.
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Emily Morse is an author, Doctor of Human Sexuality, and host of the Sex with Emily podcast and Sirius XM radio show. Emily consistently aims to help singles and couples of all ages become more comfortable with themselves and their sexual wellness, because life is too short for bad sex.