An Expert Shares Relationship Advice For How To Navigate Rough Patches

What are common misconceptions about neurodivergence in relationships?

It seems like as soon as people find out two people are dating, their relationship becomes THE topic of conversation among their peers and otherwise. I know because I'm guilty of letting my curiosity get the best of me, but I try not to make assumptions about what goes on BTS. Knowing this, I can only imagine some of the things that people say about couples where one partner has a diagnosed mental illness or is neurodivergent.

Natalie says the common myths and stigmas associated with these types of relationships are:

• Relationships with people who have mental health issues are doomed to fail.
• People with mental health issues are violent and dangerous.
• Mental health problems are a sign of weakness, and you can 'fix' your partner.
• You should only consider someone as a romantic partner if they are 'cured' of their mental illness

How can someone effectively communicate with their partner if they ADHD?

Someone who has ADHD may process things a little differently than another person, which doesn't have to be a terrible thing. To be more specific, Natalie breaks down how someone can have conversations with a partner who has ADHD. "Effective communication with a partner who has ADHD requires specific strategies because ADHD can affect a person's ability to focus, organize thoughts, listen actively, and manage impulses, which can sometimes make interactions and day-to-day living difficult," she says.

A few ways to navigate this is by doing the following:

• Seek Understanding of ADHD: Understanding how ADHD can affect communication and behavior can help you develop empathy and more effective strategies tailored to your relationship.
• Establish Eye Contact: Making eye contact can help them focus and signal that the conversation is important.
• Check for Understanding: After you’ve communicated something important, ask your partner to repeat back what they've understood. This can ensure that your message has been understood correctly.
• Use "I" Statements: This can prevent your partner from feeling defensive and keeps the conversation more constructive.

How can you recognize signs that something is triggering your partner?

This is such an important question because sometimes we're not aware that something we're doing or saying is triggering our partners whether they have ADHD or not. Natalie says, "A clear sign that something may be triggering your partner is a noticeable and abrupt change in their mood or behavior," and "Triggers can also provoke physical responses."

Based on her experience, these physical responses can include shaking, trembling, a sudden inability to speak, crying, rapid breathing, or even a panic attack. "Observing these changes can indicate that your partner is experiencing something deeply distressing. If your partner suddenly withdraws from a conversation, shuts down emotionally, or tries to leave the situation entirely, it might indicate that they are feeling overwhelmed or triggered, as well. Or a sudden silence or unusually passive communication can be a sign your partner is triggered," Natalie says.

As someone who's known for finding a way to exit a conversation if I start feeling overwhelmed, I can say that this sounds all too familiar.

What makes having a partner with ADHD difficult? Should that be a dealbreaker?

Deal breakers are subjective, so no one can firmly tell you what you should or shouldn't deal with. At the same time, Natalie wants you to consider some things. "Dating someone with ADHD does have it's unique challenges, but understanding these challenges can help determine whether they might be considered deal-breakers, depending on one's personal limits, the dynamics of the relationship, and the willingness of both partners to work through these concerns."

She makes it clear that some things that may affect your relationship with your partner are their tendency to be inconsistent, distracted, forgetful, and disorganized. If you're finding that it's hard for you to find peace at home or in your relationship, it may be best for you to amicably part ways with your partner.

How can you support a partner with ADHD?

We're fortunate that we live in a time where talking about mental illness and neurodivergence is more widely embraced, but that doesn't mean everyone is comfortable with the conversation. Natalie says, "As a clinical provider, I have been able to witness first hand the ways that a partner's support can really assist someone with an ADHD diagnosis. First, understanding the symptoms, challenges, and behaviors associated with ADHD can help you empathize with what your loved one is experiencing."

A few of the ways you can help your partner is by listening without judgment or interruption, and acknowledging their struggles, validating their feelings, and reassuring them that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Natalie says this "...can help provide a feeling of safety" while "Offering to help organize their environment, set up reminders, or plan daily schedules can help reduce stress and make daily tasks more manageable."

To go the extra mile, Natalie suggests celebrating small milestones and successes to boost their self-esteem and motivation since these two things can also be affected by ADHD.

Who is Sophia Bush?

Sophia Bush has had a lengthy career as an actress, and she's most recognized for her portrayal of Brooke Davis in the hit TV series One Tree Hill. She's also appeared in Nip/Tuck, Chicago Fire, Incredibles 2, and John Tucker Must Die. When she's not showing off her acting chops, she hosts the Drama Queens podcast alongside former One Tree Hill castmates Hilarie Burton and Bethany Joy Lenz!

Who is Ashlyn Harris?

Ashlyn Harris is a former U.S. soccer player who had a successful run — no pun intended — as a goalkeeper during the career. She also won the 2015 FIFA Women's World Cup in Canada and continued making an impressionable mark. However, she announced her retirementin 2022 and — per her Instagrampage — has gone on to become the Global Creative Advisor for Gotham FC and Adidas Football.

When did the dating rumors about Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris start?

June 2023

Rumors about a possible connection between Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris swirled last summer when Cosmopolitanreported they were on a panel at Cannes Lion International Festival of Creativity. Sophia shared a pic of the two at the festival on Instagramand wrote, "Love you @ashlynharris24 and @sophieannkelly" towards the end of her caption.

A source told Page Six, "It’s very new...They are definitely a couple.” But, Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris didn't confirm or deny anything at that time.

When did Sophia Bush file for divorce from Grant Hughes?

August 2023

A couple of months after Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris were seen getting cozy together, Sophia filed for divorce from her former husband Grant Hughes. Peopleshared that they were only married for a little over a year — 13 months — but didn't end on a bad terms. A source then told Entertainment Tonight, "Grant and Sophia are better off as friends and they weren’t getting enough time with each other before their breakup."

When did Ashlyn Harris and Ali Krieger file for divorce?

October 2023

While things seemed to quiet down, Ashlyn Harris soon filed for divorce from Ali Krieger after getting married towards the end of 2019. What's interesting is that a source told Peoplethis decision wasn't surprising. "Although it’s new information to the public, Ashlyn and Ali’s divorce began months ago and they have been living apart since the summer,” the source said.

This is also around the time it was speculated Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris had their first official date. A rep told People, "Grant will always want the best for Sophia, and is supportive of all that makes her happy and fulfilled." We guess it helps he and Sophia had a solid friendship before getting married!

As for Ali Krieger, she basically let the world know things were business as usual with an Instagrampost. She captioned a pic of her playing soccer with, "Preparing for playoffs while in my Beyoncé lemonade era." A comment from user @lgbtlfg said, "the fact that a lot of players in these comment’s usually mind their business and stay out of drama but are supporting ali should tell everyone all they need to know."

The only thing Ashlyn said about it on Instagramis that she never intended for her and Ali's divorce to be made a public matter. A portion of her note says, "This process is never easy, but we were making our way through."

Have Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris publicly talked about their relationship?

March 2024

Besides showing up to Elton John's Oscars afterparty together, Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris were previously tight-lipped about their relationship. The only hint Sophia offered was much more of a reflective post about 2023 on Instagramat the beginning of January. She said, "This year taught me to listen to myself and no one else. To let go of expectation that wounds and grasp possibility that frees. To not care about optics and instead invest in honesty."

But, she's since chosen to own where she is in life.

April 2024

Sophia Bush has now reached a point where she's publicly ready to stand in her truth regarding her life and her relationship status so much that she penned her own cover story for Glamour. The first thing she did was open up about how she really felt about her marriage and fertility struggles.

She wrote, "But after the wedding I found myself in the depths and heartbreak of the fertility process, which was the most clarifying experience of my life. It feels like society is finally making space for brutally honest conversations about how hard and painful any fertility journey is, but I kept mine private. I was trying to get through months of endless ultrasounds, hormone shots, so many blood draws that I have scar tissue in my veins, and retrieval after retrieval, while simultaneously realizing the person I had chosen to be my partner didn’t necessarily speak the same emotional language I did.”

As far as her relationship with Ashlyn Harris is concerned, the star is enjoying the love that exists between them. Contrary to alleged rumors, their initial relationship was a platonic one that stemmed from a place of understanding and support.

She told Glamour,“I didn’t expect to find love in this support system. I don’t know how else to say it other than: I didn’t see it until I saw it. And I think it’s very easy not to see something that’s been in front of your face for a long time when you’d never looked at it as an option and you had never been looked at as an option. What I saw was a friend with her big, happy life. And now I know she thought the same thing about me.”

She also added, "A lot of effort was made to be graceful with other people’s processing, their time and obligations, and their feelings. What felt like seconds after I started to see what was in front of me, the online rumor mill began to spit in the ugliest ways. There were blatant lies. Violent threats. There were the accusations of being a home-wrecker. The ones who said I’d left my ex because I suddenly realized I wanted to be with women—my partners have known what I’m into for as long as I have (so that’s not it, y’all, sorry!).”

It's safe to say that Sophia Bush is thoroughly comfortable with her love life and identity as a queer woman. She said, "I’ve experienced so much safety, respect, and love in the queer community, as an ally all of my life, that, as I came into myself, I already felt it was my home. I think I’ve always known that my sexuality exists on a spectrum. Right now I think the word that best defines it is queer. I can’t say it without smiling, actually. And that feels pretty great.”

And this is what it looks like to reclaim your narrative when so many people are looking at a brief glimpse of the lives of celebrities. We love that Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris are loving each other on their terms without feeling pressured to share anything before they were ready to. Our hope is that their love story continues to unfold beautifully.

Be sure to watch Sophia Bush's interview with Glamour's Editor-in-Chief Samantha Barry here!

Full Credits From Glamour Magazine:

Writer: Sophia Bush

Photographer: Lauren Dukoff

Stylist: Deborah Afshani

Hair: Matthew Collins

Makeup: Afton Williams

Manicure: Brittney Boyce

Have Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris made their official red carpet debut?

April 27, 2024

Per Glamour, Sophia Bush and Ashlyn made their official red carpet debut as a couple on Friday. They attended the White House Correspondent's dinner where they were dressed to impress in complementing black ensembles.

It's easy to see the glowing couple couldn't stop laughing and smiling as they posed for pictures that seemed to capture every good angle of their faces and style.

After the dinner, Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris posed for more pictures on the red carpet leading to the Correspondent's after-party. Now that we're able to see their full faces, we have to talk about how well their hair and makeup complements their outfits. It's clear that Ashlyn's contour and bronzer were expertly applied to her face while Sophia's blush gave her a natural flush.

*Sigh* Their smiles are the only confirmation we need that they're enjoying the bliss of being a couple.

"Ultimately I could love myself, or I could just be like, 'Here I am,'" Claudia Jessie says. "Most of the time, none of us know what we're really doing anyway. So I think I'm just letting go of any attachment of trying to feel confident."

"You should be confident because everybody loves you," Hannah Dodd counters. "Everybody's obsessed with you! I think, if you surround yourself with the right people as well, like my friends give me confidence, the right people, like your team and you guys."

"'How are you so confident to be so different?' I say at one point to Eloise," Jessica Madsen says. "And when I read that in the script, it was just like [how] I feel about you, and I really mean it...I remember saying it and really feeling like that was 100 percent true from me to you, [Claudia]."

The love is totally reciprocated, and when I ask what the three women would write in their own Lady Whistledown column, Claudia hypes up Jessica's love of music.

"I love music. I love making playlists," Jessica says. "I went through a little stage where Spotify was my everything. I wanted to be a DJ."

"You'd look great as a DJ," Claudia adds. "I don't know your DJ'ing skills yet, but you'd look amazing behind the deck like that."

Hannah adds that they talk a lot about their dogs, and books. "I do love books," Claudia, who just finished Travis Baldree's Legends & Lattes, agrees. "I'm a big reader. Basically I like things that don't mean I have to leave the house. I could talk about the inside of my flat thoroughly. I could write about that, my four walls."

Bridgerton season 3 opens after Eloise's discovery that Lady Whistledown is actually her best friend Penelope Featherington. The middle Bridgerton child has had to keep it a secret all this time, and Claudia Jessie admits she's a good secret keeper, just for a different reason: "I'm good because I forget them immediately," she says.

"I'm like the grave," Jessica Madsen promises.

"I wouldn't say I'm a grave," Hannah Dodd adds. "I just have a group of people that I'm like, 'They don't count.' I will not tell anybody. But like, except for these...one or two very trustworthy people."

In the show, multiple characters' trust in one another is threatened — learning about Penelope's secret identity challenges Eloise's trust in Penelope, and Colin's remarks that he'd never court Pen threaten her trust in him. While we see these relationships evolve in unexpected ways, we also see new sides to characters we thought we knew. Namely, Cresside Cowper.

"Other than, obviously the really sad passing of the Bridgerton dad, Eloise comes from an incredibly sheltered, privileged, happy, nourishing environment where they can all be themselves," Claudia says. "So I think it is really important to see just how different it is [from the Cowper household], cause it also informs us a bit more about how difficult the situation is for Cressida and why she might be colder or a bit closed off."

"[She's] very lonely as well," Jessica adds. "She's got nobody. Not her mum, and definitely not her dad. It's opposite ends of the spectrum."

And while season 3 of Bridgerton is just about to debut, Jessica Madsen, Hannah Dodd, and Claudia Jessie already have dreams for Bridgerton season 4.

"I'd love for Eloise to get political, do you know what I mean?" Claudia says. "I'd love that because there's so much room for Eloise to go there."

"She could be the first Prime Minister!" Jessica chimes in.

"I don't know for Francesca," Hannah says. "I'm so excited to see what the writers come up with. I just hope she steps into herself a little bit more and kind of goes after things that make her happy, and knows that she's deserving of that. But I'm new here. So, like anything they give me, I'm gonna be happy with."

Brit + Co Rapid Fire With The Bridgerton Cast

Brit + Co: We've talked so much about books, what are you all reading?

Claudia Jessie: I just finished a book called Legends & Lattes by Travis Baldree. And it literally says on the cover "Low stakes, high cozy vibes"...It was beautiful. Really comforting. It was like a big hug.

Hannah Dodd: I'm reading Yellowface at the moment, and I just finished Lessons in Chemistry. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo [was] good. And that really took me a while to find another book that filled that hole.

Jessica Madsen: I have Dopamine Nation...I love audio books. So I actually have Viola Davis reading to me every night her autobiography, which is amazing.

B+C: What music is on repeat for you at the moment?

CJ: I'm listening to a band called Say She She. They're like three sexy, beautiful girls doing like funk, disco pop. Beautiful, cool stuff. And they're really, really cool.

HD: I'm less cool and very generic. Beyonce's new album and Ariana Grande's new album, and I'm obsessed with Noah Kahan at the moment as well.

JM: I'm a mixed bag. I've got a lot of different stuff that I love. Yeah, I've, I've been listening to a lot of Fat Freddy's Drop cause they've got a great summer vibe. Two Feet I really enjoy...I like jazz. Disco.

B+C: Bridgerton is our next watch, what's the last thing you binge watched?

CJ:Barry, which I think is the best comedy that's ever been written, ever. I know I'm gonna re-watch it as well cause it's just unbelievable. The amount of respect they show that comedy is so beautiful.

HD: I haven't binged anything in a while, but I'm really excited to watch Ripley. And I think the last thing I binged was One Day as well, which left me heartbroken.

JM: I just binge watched — I say binge gently — Yellowstone, so I want to be a cowgirl now, really badly. I want to live in denim for the rest of my life, in cowboy boots, badly. And then I just I always put Schitt's Creek on. I've watched it 10 times now, which is embarrassing. I love it. We need laughter. We need fun.

B+C: What's on your summer 2024 bucket list?

JM: I would love to get on a beach. I wanna be on a beach for a bit and just feel the sand and the sea.

HD: I'd just like to get through this part of my life, which is quite exciting and new for me and I don't know. I wouldn't say no to a beach either.

CJ: Just a load of iced coffees. That's great when that season comes around, you can have iced coffee. That's like my favorite cause I kid myself into thinking it's not the same amount of caffeine as a hot coffee, so I'm like 'I can have three!' and then I'm rattling.