Whether you鈥檙e trying to make an open relationship work, vowing to stop comparing yourself to others on social media or looking for a boo who鈥檚 your financial soulmate, there are tons of specific ways to take your relationship status on Facebook from 鈥渋n a relationship鈥 to 鈥渋n a really freaking awesome relationship.鈥 One of these ways is to find out your emotional intelligence, a term coined in a study by Dr. John D. Mayer.


How to tell if you鈥檙e emotionally intelligent

According to the study, emotional IQ is 鈥渢he capacity to reason about emotions and emotional information, and of emotions to enhance thought.鈥 Basically, it鈥檚 the ability to solve emotion-related problems.

Measuring emotional intelligence is similar to measuring academic intelligence. Contributors to the study used a combination of problem-solving and ability problems to quantify how emotional intelligence manifests itself in people 鈥 and their findings show that emotional IQ is actually correlated to academic intelligence. Wondering how you measure up? Scroll on for more on Dr. Mayer鈥檚 four-branch model.


4 branches of emotional intelligence

1. Perceiving emotion. Do you have a knack for knowing how someone is feeling just by his or her facial expression? If so, you鈥檙e probably great at perceiving emotion, which, according to the study, is a 鈥渃rucial starting point for more advanced understanding of emotions.鈥

2. Using emotions to facilitate thought. Humans subconsciously respond emotionally to many stimuli 鈥 and some humans are particularly good at translating that response into cognitive thought. For example, if someone at work makes an emotionally intelligent person angry, that person might calmly analyze their anger and facilitate a productive discussion with their coworker.

3. Understanding emotions. Emotions can be hard to wrap your mind around at times. However, people with a high emotional IQ can not only identify what emotion they鈥檙e feeling, but can also recognize the actions they鈥檝e taken or are thinking about that are influenced by that emotion. This skill will keep you from doing anything too nutty.

4. Managing emotions. Since emotions are inherently involuntary, they鈥檙e also inherently hard to control. While we鈥檒l never have complete agency over our emotions, the ability to create an 鈥渆motional comfort zone鈥 can lead to self-regulation, which is essentially the ability to manage your own feelings.


Why emotional IQ matters in relationships

Emotional intelligence plays a HUGE role in the way we relate to others. Although it affects just about everyone you interact with, those in your innermost circles 鈥 such as family, friends and your S.O. 鈥 reap most of the positive and negative energy when it comes to how you manage your emotions.

According to the study, people with high levels of emotional intelligence are 鈥減articularly good at establishing positive social relationships with others, and avoiding conflicts, fights and other social altercations. They鈥檙e particularly good at understanding psychologically healthy living and avoiding such problems as drugs and drug abuse.鈥

But whether you鈥檙e high or low on the emotional IQ scale, the study points out that knowing your emotional intelligence is even more important than having a lot of it. Know thyself (and thy emotions). It鈥檚 definitely something to think about next time you get really upset at your boss or boo.

Has your emotional IQ affected your relationships? Let us know @BritandCo!

(Photos via Getty)