If you鈥檙e not married (and maybe even if you are), it鈥檚 likely that your knowledge聽of prenuptial agreements 鈥 more often known as prenups 鈥 comes mostly from Kanye West鈥檚 Gold Digger聽(holla, we want prenup!) and聽reality TV. This legal concept may seem relevant only to celebs and millionaires, but whether or not聽you actually 鈥渘eed鈥 a prenup at this point, it鈥檚 important to understand what they鈥檙e all about. You may even be surprised to learn that聽getting this kind of agreement between you and your fianc茅 isn鈥檛 that far-fetched. In fact, prenups are five times more common now than they were 20 years ago. We chatted with some legal and relationship experts to learn the basics of prenups, which may help you avoid some awkward convos聽while you聽should be enjoying the fun of planning a wedding.


First thing鈥檚 first: Prenuptial agreements don鈥檛 need to be a scary, secretive idea. Discussing whether or not a prenup is necessary in your particular situation can actually be a way to speak more generally 鈥 and transparently 鈥 with your boo聽about finances, as well as the distasteful (but sadly, practical) reality of divorce. Prenups are also a necessary protection for many couples. To put it simply, getting a prenup means that your (or your spouse鈥檚) assets are safe in the event of a death or divorce. Drawing up an agreement like this gives you and your partner the opportunity to determine 鈥渨hat belongs to who鈥 should your marriage go south, which would (hopefully) save everyone time and stress in potential divorce proceedings.

鈥淭he prenuptial agreement is stereotypically thought of as a mischievous, romance-killing contract,鈥 says divorce attorney Caleb Ballew. 鈥淚n actuality, it鈥檚 a great legal mechanism for setting basic guidelines and eliminating uncertainty in marriage and possible divorce for聽both spouses.鈥

Who needs to be concerned with these guidelines? According to Ballew, prenups might be an especially smart move聽if you and/or your partner have been married previously or want to protect assets (money, property, etc.) for children from prior relationships. An agreement like this might also be a good idea if one person in the potential marriage earns substantially more income, or has a disproportionate amount of wealth compared to the other.

Even if you currently have a聽huge amount聽of student loan debt, a prenup may still be a smart聽idea. 鈥淎 party at the beginning of their career who possesses the ability to earn a considerable income may want to consider a prenuptial agreement,鈥 says attorney Mischelle Luckett. So if you鈥檙e聽entering a high-paying industry that will one day allow you to live fabulously debt-free, don鈥檛 rule a prenup out.

While prenups may be practical, they鈥檙e also a sensitive subject. 鈥淚f one party initiates a prenuptial agreement, the other party may believe that [they] lack commitment to the pending marriage,鈥 Luckett says. 鈥淐ouples should view entering a prenuptial agreement as a joint venture, not a one-sided contract.鈥


If you think that a prenup might be the right choice for you and your S.O., Luckett suggests having open conversations about money. You should聽both talk honestly about your personal assets, debts, financial obligations, and money goals. From there, you should meet with an attorney as a couple to find out if an agreement like this makes sense in your situation. You might also need聽to work through any tension that rises to the surface as a result of the idea.

Patty and Greg Kuhlman, relationship counselors and founders of Marriage Success Seminars,聽echo the importance of facing that tension head on, even though the whole business of prenups can be downright unromantic. 鈥淐onsidering a prenup is just one among many non-romantic issues that couples should discuss together before marrying,鈥 they say. 鈥淎voiding talking about financial鈥 [and] career issues is likely to lead to problems in the future. The last thing couples need is to be blindsided after marriage.鈥 The Kuhlmans also say that it鈥檚 important for couples to have clear and accurate expectations of each other as they prepare to walk down the aisle 鈥 and the potential division of assets can be a major consideration for many.


If you do decide to pursue a prenup before you say 鈥淚 do,鈥 make sure to leave yourself plenty of time to complete the process. Caleb says that finalizing an agreement can often take no more than a few weeks (or a few days, if necessary), but wedding planner Sasha Souza has seen firsthand the consequences of couples who wait too long to openly discuss these legal matters 鈥 or who can鈥檛 agree on the best course of action and don鈥檛 tackle the issue head-on.

In these situations, 鈥渟omebody who wants a prenup either gives the prenup to their partner last minute in the two weeks leading up to the wedding or the couple doesn鈥檛 get the prenup finished and signed before the wedding because they can鈥檛 agree,鈥 Souza says. 鈥淚n those scenarios, we鈥檝e had to completely cancel weddings, had the couple go through their vows and finish the prenup later before having a justice of the peace wedding, or cancel and un-cancel the wedding all in three days鈥 time.鈥

Learn from those couples鈥 mistakes and start these open conversations early. And don鈥檛 be afraid to ask questions both of your partner and your trusty legal experts. Prenups might not be right for everyone, but if they鈥檙e right for you, having one in place will establish a level of trust about the material possessions that both you and your spouse-to-be bring to the relationship.

What do you think about prenups? Tweet us @BritandCo!聽

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