On the spectrum of risky (like dating someone in the office) to reliable relationships, your tight friendship with your bestie is about as stable as they come. But beware if you start catching feelings for your BFF. On one hand, it could end up as the ideal Ron/Hermione situation; and on the other, you could find yourself facing a BFF breakup. To keep yourself sane and navigate this sticky situation, follow these six tips.
1. Consider their relationship situation. You know your best friend’s relationship status — even if it’s super complicated or they have a secret crush — better than anyone. Whether they’re single, totally tied down, or somewhere in-between, take note of their status if you’re thinking about them as more than a friend.
2. Respect their relationship situation. This is especially important if your friend is in a relationship or going through a tough breakup. While it might be tempting to try to uplift them during a hard time by telling them how amazing you think they are, make sure you’re not taking advantage of their vulnerable state or butting in on an already-existing relationship.
3. Differentiate your romantic feelings and platonic feelings. If you’ve started harboring feelings beyond friendship, make sure those feelings are truly rooted in attraction. Being friends with someone already means that you care about them way more than the average person, so it’s worth checking in with yourself to ensure that those romantic feelings really are there.
4. Don’t feel guilty. Once you’ve established that your feelings are romantic, don’t allow yourself to feel guilty for them. You can’t control what you feel. You can only control what you do about it.
5. Weigh your options. The hardest part about being attracted to your best friend is the fear of losing their friendship. You’re between a rock and a hard place. If you tell them and it doesn’t work out, your friendship might change; but if you choose not to tell, you’ll have the burden of your feelings and won’t be sure what could really develop between you two. The key is choosing the option that’ll stress you out the least.
6. Stick with your plan. Once you choose what to do — to tell or not to tell — fully accept that you decided that course of action for a reason. If you decide to share your feelings with your friend, believe that your friendship will stay intact if they truly are your best friend. But sure, things might feel awkward for a bit if they don’t feel the same way. Telling them can also have the biggest payoff ever. There’s a reason that some of the best love stories begin with friendships!
How have you dealt with having feelings for your bestie? Let us know @BritandCo!
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