The age-old adage 鈥渃ommunication is key鈥 doesn鈥檛 seem to resonate too well with millennials. From varying definitions of what 鈥渢alking鈥 means to trouble starting up harder conversations about topics like mental health, it鈥檚 no wonder why so many 20-somethings don鈥檛 really know where their relationships stand. While communication might be hard, it鈥檚 what a lot of couples need most, especially in the early stages of dating. This issue especially comes into play when having the dreaded 鈥渄efine the relationship鈥 (DTR) talk. If you鈥檙e ready to turn a first date into a second or simply want your partner to commit already, check out these six non-intimidating ways to DTR.


1. Pull the ol鈥 鈥渨e need to talk.鈥 Nothing gets a *potential* partner鈥檚 attention like the phrase 鈥渨e need to talk.鈥 While this approach might seem intimidating, it signals to your (hopefully) future boo that you mean business.

2. Blame it on a friend. It鈥檚 a given that those closest to us are invested in our love lives. Capitalize on this fact by using friends and/or family as an excuse to ask where your relationship is going. If you start with, 鈥淢y roommate has been asking me about you,鈥 it takes the pressure off of you while still getting the job done.

3. Wait for an intimate moment. If you鈥檙e patient, you can try waiting for an intimate or opportune moment. The ideal opportunity for a DTR talk is when your potential S.O. invites you to something more serious and intimate, like a weekend getaway or a family member鈥檚 wedding. Because they started with the gesture, you can be surer of their feelings and use that event as a means to check in with where they鈥檙e at in the relationship.


4. Give it a deadline. If you鈥檙e hoping for an intimate moment but aren鈥檛 patient enough to wait for one to come along, create one yourself. Invite your potential partner to an event that鈥檚 in the future, say a few weeks or even months away. If they readily commit, they鈥檙e probably committed to you.

5. If you鈥檙e scared, be sneaky. Defining the relationship doesn鈥檛 necessarily have to be a big conversation. If you鈥檙e simply wondering where your current squeeze is at, drop hints that you might be going on a date or seeing someone else. Their reaction will say it all: If they react negatively, they鈥檙e probably ready to have you all to themselves.

6. If you鈥檙e bold, be direct. If you鈥檙e not afraid of hard conversations, directly ask the person you鈥檙e dating where they鈥檙e at. Your boldness will most likely prompt them to be honest and direct with you as well.

How have you successfully had a DTR talk? Let us know @BritandCo!

(Photos via Getty)