Romantic relationships can be hard. Whether you’re casually dating or currently committed, you’ve probably experienced the way being involved with other people can bring our biggest personal struggles to the surface. Think of your relationships like a mirror: In the context of how you interact with those closest to you, you can see your weaknesses in a new light, identifying areas of struggle to help yourself grow, both in connection with your partner and as an individual. But where’s the best place to start? By considering your personality and all its unique tendencies — and, of course, your relationship history — you can begin to pinpoint your relational weaknesses.

Before you get too far, remember: Most of the time, your biggest struggle is directly linked to your most powerful strengths. If you struggle with, say, being clingy, that can mean you’re dedicated and committed, which is a good thing! And if you find yourself being controlling, you probably have a keen sense of responsibility and a direct leadership style. Curious about how your personality surfaces with your significant other, for better or for worse? Here’s our best guess for the biggest difficulty for you to overcome in relationships, based on your Myers-Briggs personality type.

A couple has a disagreement


You love to be right. Practical and direct, this personality type cuts straight to the point — and the point is almost always the most logical one. While the ISTJ is dependable and reliable, they can also be perceived as reserved and unemotional, which can cause problems in relationships. This personality’s greatest weakness? They love to be right, sometimes at the expense of being sensitive or considerate.


You’re emotionally closed off. With a strong desire to serve and protect their loved ones, the ISFJ is one of the most supportive personalities out there, offering emotional or practical assistance whenever they’re needed. So what’s the issue? While ISFJs are generous and kind, this shy personality struggles to open up emotionally, which can make it hard to foster intimacy in relationships.


You’re meddlesome in your partner’s life. The INFJ, like the ISFJ, is a big-hearted giver, fueled by intuition and empathy. But therein lies the INFJ’s struggle. Yes, this personality knows how to emotionally care for their loved ones, but the INFJ can also be meddlesome and intrusive, assuming they intuitively know what’s best for their partner.


You come off as arrogant. Intellectual and creative, the INTJ is obsessed with being strategic and efficient, which can definitely benefit relationships. But it can present problems when this type of over-the-top intellect comes across as arrogant or even cynical, especially as they’re getting to know someone new.

A woman is distracted by her phone as her partner talks to her


You are uncommitted. The down-to-earth, vibrant, free-spirited ISTP is motivated by new experiences and needs lots of freedom to explore. But since this personality is always looking for something *new* to satisfy their senses, they can also be flighty and uncommitted, much to the frustration of their doting partner.


You guard your emotions. ISFPs are also motivated by a desire to explore and experience the beauty around them; because they are highly emotionally intelligent, they love the sense of possibility that relationships bring. While they are emotionally in tune, ISFPs typically focus on their partners and guard their own emotions, which can delay the creation of authentic connections in a relationship.


You’re overly sensitive. The MBTI’s poet, this personality type is soulful, artistic, and highly sensitive. Of course, this sensitivity can add depth and color to a relationship, but it can also be cause for conflict. When an INFP feels hurt (which might be more common than other personality types), they tend to withdraw, sometimes causing their partner confusion or frustration.


You’re too passive in the relationship. INTPs love to learn. Intellectual and well-read, this brilliant personality always has something interesting to share. But they are also very shy and reserved, which means they tend to wait for partners to initiate things in relationships out of fear of rejection. This can cause the relationship to feel emotionally one-sided.

A couple pauses in the street


You’re impatient. Bold, adventurous, and always engaging, the ESTP craves excitement in every area of their life — which also means they are easily bored, even in (and sometimes because of) a meaningful relationship. This personality’s biggest struggle, rooted in its desire for adventure and enjoyment, is impatience.


You’re not fully present. ESFPs light up a room, and the same goes for their relationships. Fun-loving and enthusiastic, they bring much-needed energy and vibrancy to the table. However, their highly emotional side, paired with their need for new experiences, can make it difficult for the ESFP to be fully present or committed in a relationship.


You get too serious too fast. Passionate, spontaneous feelers, ENFPs take having fun seriously, but they take relationships seriously too… Sometimes a little too seriously. While the ENFP’s enthusiasm and devotion are well-intentioned, they can come across as “too much too soon,” overwhelming a partner in the early stages of a relationship.


You’re hard to satisfy. The ENTP’s innovative, inventive personality brings momentum and fun to any relationship. This personality loves to grow alongside their partner, learning new things and overcoming obstacles. But, as you can imagine, the desire for constant self-improvement can manifest as constant discontentment, especially if a partner doesn’t share this core value.

A couple is having relationship problems


You’re too direct. The ambitious and visionary ESTJ probably has a 10-year plan for every aspect of their life, and relationships are no exception. The trouble comes when conflict arises: In the heat of the moment, the ESTJ usually stays levelheaded, but this can come across as overly direct or even brash, potentially offending a significant other.


You avoid conflict. Harmony is key for the ESFJ, who is known to offer faithful support and devotion to their partners. Still, this altruistic type is far from perfect. While the ESFJ brings an element of peace, they’re also conflict-avoidant, meaning that their fear of confrontation and the impact it could have on their relationship can keep problems stewing.


You’re overbearing. Diplomatic leaders to the core, ENFJs love to help their partners accomplish goals and overcome struggles. Because they’re so intuitive and emotional, this personality picks up on potential issues with the relationship early on, which can result in them becoming overbearing and meddlesome.


You’re insensitive. ENTJs are in it to win it. Strong-willed, goal-oriented individuals, they know where they’re going and how to get there. But this future focus can lead the ENTJ to miss out on crucial moments early on in a relationship, resulting in the perception that they’re ruthless or insensitive.

What challenges you most about relating to others? Tell us @BritandCo!

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