Do you ever聽feel like certain people go through their day with a totally different mindset than you do? You might notice it while observing fellow commuters, at work with your BFF, or on a date with your digital crush. As it turns out,聽people鈥檚 behaviors are closely tied to their 鈥渄efault setting鈥 鈥 and whatever yours is can affect whether you consistently see the bright side or could use a little help turning lemons into lemonade (or even聽a slushy cocktail). Ready to make a change? Casey Von Iderstein from Karmic Wellness聽gave us some awesome advice.

What is a 鈥渄efault setting?鈥

Von Iderstein聽describes the default setting as our automatic聽reactions to spur-of-the-moment situations, like a person cutting in line at the grocery store. When this happens, do you automatically assume the person has no manners, or do you give the offender the benefit of the doubt? How you operate on the fly in times like these can completely shape how you experience life. According to Von Iderstein, 鈥淭hese reactions help us uncover the subconscious beliefs that we allow to control our reactions in the moment.鈥 Still not sure which moments will help you pinpoint your setting? Von Iderstein says to look for these common situations:

1. How You React While Driving:聽鈥淚n many cases, when we enter our car, it鈥檚 like we鈥檙e stepping into a parallel universe where it鈥檚 us versus them,鈥 Von Iderstein explains. 鈥淚t鈥檚 so common to see people yelling, cutting cars off, flipping the finger, etc. 鈥 and a huge number聽of those interactions are purely based on uninformed assumptions about the other person.鈥 Whoa, so true.

2. How You Deal While Waiting to Be Served at a Restaurant: 鈥淚 can鈥檛 count the number聽of times I鈥檝e heard customers berating restaurant staff while knowing nothing about what鈥檚 actually happening behind closed doors, or what the staff member鈥檚 day has been like so far,鈥 Von Iderstein says. How do you handle a long wait?

3. Browsing on Social Media: 鈥淭here are so many ego-fueled interactions on the internet that it鈥檚 tricky to narrow down just one example,鈥 Von Iderstein notes. 鈥淏ut look in the comments section on any well-read post and you鈥檒l definitely find a giant display of default settings 鈥 and get a sense of your own.鈥

Why your default setting matters so much

鈥淚 like to think of a default setting as our baseline for how we interact with the world around us,鈥 Von Iderstein says. 鈥淎t its essence, it determines our capacity for happiness on a day-to-day basis. For me, thinking about the way I react to things based on my default setting helps me keep myself in check (check yo鈥 self before you wreck yo鈥 self, as they say).鈥 She says this means taking things at face value and trying not to assume anything. 鈥淚 know I鈥檓 letting my ego run the show, deplete my energy, and build imaginary walls between myself and others,鈥 she admits.

According to a blog post聽written by聽Von Iderstein, making this adjustment聽can be a major game-changer when it comes to聽inviting more luck into your life and feeling happy on a day-to-day basis. 鈥淲hen I catch myself letting my ego rule,聽I know I need to take a step back and ground myself with mindfulness practices. If I鈥檓 reacting with compassion and curiosity, I know that I鈥檓 letting my soul run the show,鈥 she notes. 鈥淲ith that, I鈥檓 building connections with others, protecting my own energy, and truly living mindfully.鈥 She says that letting your soul guide your thoughts, beliefs, and actions is an incredibly joyful way to live.

Jumping to conclusions that leave us acting unkind is no way to live, and聽Von Iderstein offers another solid reminder as to why having a more positive default setting can make a difference in everything you say and do. 鈥淭he fact is, no situation has ever been made worse by infusing it with kindness and compassion, but many situations have been made infinitely worse (for all parties involved) by making snap judgments,鈥 she writes. Just think: How many opportunities have you missed out on by making an unwarranted聽assumption? Pausing to offer understanding and kindness in spontaneous actions聽can lead to better聽friendships, new work opportunities, and tons of other good stuff.

How to improve your default setting and be more joyful

Don鈥檛 worry if you鈥檝e just realized that you tend to assume the worst 鈥 identifying聽your default is the first step toward self-improvement. And setting yourself up for a solid change doesn鈥檛 require any unrealistic commitments on your part. Von Iderstein says聽that it鈥檚 as simple as making the conscious decision to flip the switch on your default settings to listen to your soul instead of your ego. 鈥淲orking on reprogramming your default setting is really all about finding ways to feel good in every moment, which is something we have total control over,鈥 she says. While a shift might feel like work at first, she points to聽science-backed research to show that intentionally reacting with compassion can help you physically change聽your brain by creating more neural pathways. Ready to re-wire and become an even more joyful person?聽Us too!

What鈥檚 your default setting? Are you trying to improve it? Tell us all about it on Twitter @BritandCo.

(Photo via Getty)