How to Deal When Your Ex Gets Engaged (and It’s All Over the Internet)
Yes, it’s engagement announcement season, and your feed is probably blowing up with ring selfies, surprise proposals and “OMG, I can’t wait to spend my life with my best friend forever and ever” posts. You want to be excited, but if you’re single or simply not ready to tie the knot with your S.O., it can be unnerving, annoying and sometimes straight up depressing — especially if your ex is the one getting engaged. If you’re spending this holiday season solo, the announcement of your once beloved’s pending happily ever after can be enough to put you over the edge. We feel you, girl. To help you get through it, check out a few do’s and don’ts of how to deal when you find out your ex is engaged:
1. Do NOT reach out. We know what you’re thinking. Nothing says, “I’m over it,” quite like a friendly congratulations note, right? No matter what their response is, a message could stir up some unresolved feelings on either end. Give your old flame some space and hold back the urge to “poke” them. They chose a partner and hey, it isn’t you. No need to well wish right now.
2. Do NOT deep dive. What’s a deep dive, you ask? It’s a totally unhealthy 30 minute (ok, make that three hour…) cyber-stalk of your ex’s new relationship across all social media platforms. How did they meet? How long have they been together? Where have they traveled? Unleashing your inner Nancy Drew will likely only bring on anxiety and sadness. Forget about how they wound up engaged after only seven months of being Facebook official and refocus.
3. Do NOT reminisce. When you see someone you once loved in newly engaged bliss, it’s easy to think about what went wrong with your own relationship. Resist digging up old photos or scrolling through old text messages, and forget about unearthing emails, love notes or anything else that will inflict unnecessary pain. You broke up for a reason, so don’t torture yourself with what-ifs and should-haves. Your ex wasn’t the one. Let’s move on.
4. DO treat yo’ self. You know what you can do with all that time you were about to spend scrolling through your ex’s Instagram feed? Remind yourself how ah-mazing you are with some well-deserved pampering. Schedule a massage at your favorite spa, make an appointment at that new nail salon, hit up your favorite yoga class or take yourself out to an amazing meal. Self love is a great way to make yourself feel special and forget the temporary sting of the social media engagement storm.
5. DO take a social media time out. If your feed is only getting more and more flooded with well wishes for the happy couple and more engagements, it may be time to take a social media time out. Delete Facebook, Instagram and Twitter from your phone for two weeks. A little social media detox will help you to live in the now instead of the seemingly infinite feed. If you can’t bring yourself to uninstall the apps, try hiding your ex’s stories on Facebook and unfollow them on Insta.
6. DO be social IRL. No matter what, resist the urge to stay holed up in your apartment feeling sad about your ex’s newfound happiness. If you’re single, plan a big night out with your besties and bask in the freedom of being unattached. If you’re spoken for, it’s time for a date night that reminds you just how much you care for your current love. It’s time to leave the past in the past!
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(Photo via Getty)