We all know what sexting is, whether we admit it or not. Actually partaking in the 鈥渟exy鈥 form of texting is a whole other story, though. You might be a superstar sexter (rock on, girl) or you might find the sending (and maybe the sometimes unsolicited receiving?) of a sext intimidating, degrading, embarrassing鈥 *the list goes on.* Wherever you fall on the pro/con sexting spectrum, there鈥檚 a new texting trend meant to empower women that you should get your fingers on. It鈥檚 called frexting. Plainly put, frexting is sexting with your friends. Think of it as pro-frexter Alana Massey explains in this Medium article: 鈥淸It鈥檚] the extension of the very old idea that women dress up for each other. Part of showing off is about sharing yourself with your girlfriends.鈥 Sharing those sexy pix with your BFF is caring (and empowering), y鈥檃ll.


To make GFs worldwide feel comfortable frexting, Kelly Williams Brown, author of Adulting, recently provided a definition for the term. 鈥淚nstead of sexting that random person (who might not appreciate it OR might share it with the world) send them to a close friend, who will tell you you look hot. Only send PG or PG-13 rated pics, obviously.鈥 With frexting, you鈥檙e sending your friends what you typically shoot to that guy/girl you鈥檙e into. Here, the subtext is way different because your pals won鈥檛 respond with the sexual undertone like they would if it was a potential or current partner. They鈥檒l likely respond with a 鈥淕irlll, you look FIERCE.鈥 Right? If you鈥檙e nodding your head at home right now, you might already be engaging in the activity on iMessage or Snapchat. Without even realizing it.

Still confused? Just like with everything in life, there are guidelines to frexting. Brown explains the proper etiquette: 鈥淩espond with positive emojis, including but not limited to the little fire, a cat with hearts for eyes and clapping.鈥 We鈥檇 also recommend sharing the love with a visual snap back so your lady friend doesn鈥檛 feel awkward. Also, shoot 鈥檈m the praise hands emoji too鈥 because, duh.

Let鈥檚 take this discussion back to how frexting is empowering (well, that鈥檚 the idea anyway) with an IRL example. While writing this, I found out that our Editorial Director Lisa Raphael is a frequent frexter (even if my pitch about this new trend was the first time she heard this particular word.) 鈥淢y best friend Katie and I are huge frexters 鈥 who knew?!鈥 she divulged. 鈥淲e communicate almost exclusively in Leslie Knope+Ann Perkins-isms, regularly texting love, heart emoji and compliments back and forth, coast-to-coast, always letting the other know we are thinking about them, specifically how effing awesome they are. I think it鈥檚 because we鈥檝e seen each other go through A LOT and know that you can鈥檛 always depend on bosses, dudes etc to tell you how great you are. Why not just speak the unfiltered truth to the people who matter the most to you?!鈥

Lisa added, 鈥淪he recently got married (to a lovely man who DOES regularly tell her how gorgeous she is, btw) and I heard Katie鈥檚 ability to lift up her girlfriends with her kind words brought up in everyone鈥檚 speech. All of the lucky ladies in Katie鈥檚 life thank her for always building them up, empowering them with encouragement and making them believe that they (we) are beautiful, sexy, smart, can-do-anything women. And, yup, I know that it鈥檚 partly because of this thing you kids are calling frexting because I鈥檝e been on some really moving group frexts with her. And I鈥檓 happy to share the <3鈥

The power of a good frext, folks.

Will you be frexting? Let us know in the comments.

(h/t Bustle)