Maybe you and your mom are Lorelai/Rory-level besties — or maybe your relationship is a bit more reminiscent of Lorelai and Emily (read: rocky, at best). No matter where you and your mom fall on the relationship spectrum, maintaining a great bond as you both age can be hard. Nikole Benders-Hadi, a psychiatrist for Doctor on Demand, has some tips for keeping your mom/daughter relationship alive and well.
1. Spend relaxation time together. According to a report by Doctor on Demand, 75 percent of moms are unable to devote more than one hour a day to “me time,” yet over half of moms feel guilty for prioritizing their own personal health. If you have kids, you and your mama probably don’t get many moments to yourselves. Rather than spend that sacred alone time, well, alone, opt to relax alongside each other instead. If you focus less on making your mom-daughter dates a big event, you can focus more on building and maintaining your relationship.
2. Be up-front about money. “As the balance of providing financial support shifts between children and parents with age, it can get tricky,” Dr. Benders-Hadi said. “Saying things like ‘I don’t owe you anything’ can ruin your relationship with your mom due to assumptions you both have made about where you are financially.” As medical and even nursing home costs arise, make sure you’re on the same page regarding who’s going to be writing the checks. By getting this conversation out of the way ahead of time, you’ll be able to turn your attention to more pleasant matters.
3. Don’t expect perfection. Remember when you were little and thought your mom was the Queen Ruler of the Universe Who Could Do No Wrong? Maybe you still think that way — buuut you probably don’t. No matter what role your mom plays in your life, Dr. Benders-Hadi recommends seeing her as you’d like your kids to see you: as a human. “All moms are human — even yours!” she says.
The bottom line here is to make sure you put energy into your relationship with Mom. With these tips, you can be equipped to keep your bond strong no matter what challenges you may be facing.
How do you stay close with your mom? Let us know on Twitter @BritandCo!
(Photo via Getty)