How Each Myers-Briggs Personality Type Is Most Likely to Use the MBTI

Personality tests like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) and the Enneagram can be helpful tools for work, relationships, and even mental health. When we are aware of our strengths, weaknesses, and other tendencies that make us the unique humans we are, we can be more thoughtful in our daily lives. Still, not everyone uses their personality type the same way. As you can guess, it all depends on personality.

So, who is most likely to take the MBTI seriously? And who tends to brush it off? Here are our best guesses for what each personality type thinks of the Myers-Briggs — and how they use it.

ISTJ: THE LOGICIAN

One of the most practical and logical personalities, the ISTJ values tradition, order, and systems. Personality tests like the MBTI can help the ISTJ understand how they function, but not for the purpose of navel-gazing. This personality probably uses their MBTI to organize and optimize their lives, cutting out what doesn’t make logical sense in their schedule and making room for what does.

ISFJ: THE DEFENDER

Equal parts practical and down to earth, the ISFJ is also a feeler who feels called to serve and protect others in meaningful yet practical ways. Of course, “practical” is different for every individual — that’s where the MBTI comes in. This in-tune, nurturing personality is likely to refer to loved ones’ Myers-Briggs types for ideas on how to serve and care for them.

INFJ: THE ADVOCATE

Just like its ISFJ cousin, the INFJ is a deep, other-focused feeler. But rather than a hands-on approach, the ever-intuitive INFJ is drawn to emotional connections with others. This personality type seeks to understand and relate, which means the INFJ, who is also an expert at empathy, probably uses the INFJ to make sense of others’ emotions and thought processes.

INTJ: THE ARCHITECT

Since INTJs are very big fans of efficiency — you might call them “life hackers” — chances are, they’ll use their personality type to optimize their lives at work and at home. The INTJ, as you could guess, also loves to learn, so they probably spend time reading about how the MBTI and other personality types work and why they matter.

ISTP: THE VIRTUOSO

The ISTP is a super curious, hands-on learner who loves to discover new ways of seeing things. You might call this personality, who’s attracted to anything that engages their five senses, a “tinkerer.” To be honest, the ISTP is probably not all that interested in the Myers-Briggs, since the world and all its problem-solving delights has enough to offer as it is.

ISFP: THE ADVENTURER

Just like the ISTP, the ISFP loves to explore and experience new things — but the ISFP is a feeler, which means they’re probably more focused on finding beauty than finding answers. Artists to the core, ISFPs probably aren’t strategic with the MBTI, but they may look to others’ personality types for creative ideas on how to speak to their hearts about the beauty they see in the world.

INFP: THE MEDIATOR

Artistic, poetic, and soulful, the INFP has a rich inner life — and the Myers-Briggs can be a very helpful compass for navigating their deep emotions. Since this personality feels so deeply, it’s probably a great comfort and encouragement to know there are others out there who see the world through the same beautiful, sometimes heartbreaking lens.

INTP: THE LOGICIAN

Of all the types, the INTP is probably most likely to have a healthy skepticism toward the Myers-Briggs. After all, since we’re always learning and evolving as people, how can a personality test be anything but limiting? Still, since this personality is highly intellectual and curious, they probably still enjoy reading others’ takes on personalities — even if they don’t 100 percent agree.

ESTP: THE ENTREPRENEUR

ESTPs are bold, adventurous personalities who look for meaning through engaging their senses in new ways, whether a craft beer at a local taproom or a last-minute weekend trip to the tiny house on Airbnb that’s always sold out. Because this bold and daring personality tends to look before they leap, they probably don’t reference the MBTI to make decisions — but maybe to troubleshoot as they go.

ESFP: THE ENTERTAINER

They don’t call the ESFP the “entertainer” for nothing! This charming, feel-good type is the life of the party and conversation, and they love personality tests — especially the social aspect of talking about them. Count on the ESFP to start the MBTI conversation in a group setting, pegging friends as their types and, of course, stirring up a good laugh.

ENFP: THE CAMPAIGNER

Highly enthusiastic and deep, ENFPs are outgoing feelers who look for purpose in everything they do, especially relationships. Since the MBTI can help them connect deeply with others, this type can probably be found with a novelty drink in hand, delving into an animated conversation about the complexities of our inner lives with a friend.

ENTP: THE DEBATER

Count on ENTPs to be always on trend. They love new ideas and experiences, and that means they’re usually hyper-aware of what’s hot and what’s not. To be honest, the Myers Briggs is probably a little too outdated for this edgy, smart, and opinionated personality. They’ve probably already moved onto something more fascinating, like the Enneagram test.

ESTJ: THE EXECUTIVE

Super ambitious and goal-oriented, the ESTJ tends to focus on work and personal success. So it makes sense that this personality would employ the MBTI to figure out how to advance in their careers. Whether figuring out how to relate to their boss or overcome their stubborn weakness, the ESTJ probably sees personality tests as a tool for getting ahead.

ESFJ: THE CONSUL

Down-to-earth, harmonious, and well-liked, the ESFJ was made to lead and help others. This altruistic type loves to blaze trails for others to follow, but rather than relying on mystic philosophies like the MBTI and other personality tests to get there, ESFJs are more likely to focus on established systems and traditions.

ENFJ: THE PROTAGONIST

ENFJs are responsible altruists, just like ENTJs. But because they are more intuitive than logical, they may take a different approach. This other-centered personality is likely equally strategic and empathetic with the MBTI, using it to strategize how to help and care for their loved ones and, ultimately, to change the world.

ENTJ: THE COMMANDER

While ENTJs tend to be more practical, they’re not exactly down to earth. This personality can come across as a bit intense and strong-willed, but for this ambitious personality type, that’s a positive. Like the ESTJ, the ENTJ probably uses the MBTI to get ahead in their professional and personal lives, plotting ways to overcome their weaknesses and maximize their many strengths.

How do you use the MBTI in your life, and what’s your type? Tell us everything @BritandCo!

(Photos via Getty)

Apart from the occasional 1,000 yellow daisies, doesn’t it feel like it’s perpetually autumn and winter in Stars Hollow? Not that we’re complaining — we’re totally here for budget-friendly trends and the winter movie lineup. This time of year always makes us want to binge-watch our ride-or-die mother/daughter duo, even if we don't get Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life season 2. We all have our favorite episodes, favorite boyfriends, and favorite characters — which is why we thought it would be fun (and necessary, obvi) to match up the major Gilmore Girls characters to their zodiac counterparts. Go ahead, refill your coffee cup before you dig in. We’ll wait.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

Image via Neil Jacobs/Netflix

Luke: Moody much? While you’re definitely not always as surly as Luke, Cancer, you do share his predilection toward unpredictable mood swings. It’s true — Luke has a tough outer shell just like you, and it takes a lot for him to make himself vulnerable to even his closest friends. You’re both sensitive souls with a nurturing streak a mile long. (How else could Luke take Jess back time and again?)

LEO (JULY 23-AUGUST 22)

Image via Saeed Adyani/Netflix

Ms. Patty: It’s your world, and we’re just living in it, Leo (er, and Ms. Patty). You’re a natural performer, and there’s no doubt Ms. Patty also knows how to own the stage. You’re both outgoing and creative with a flair for the dramatic, and we’re willing to wager you’d get along famously (while working hard to become famous, of course).

VIRGO (AUGUST 23-SEPTEMBER 22)

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Emily: We think Emily is probably the most misunderstood character in Gilmore Girls, which we’re sure is something any Virgo can relate to. You’re both perfectionists who know how to throw a killer dinner party, with every last detail thoughtfully curated. You’ve got no time for inefficiency, and while you’re super-sensitive to criticism yourself, you can sometimes be a little judgy of others. But you both more than make up for it with your dedication to working for causes you believe in.

LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 23-OCTOBER 22)

Image via The CW/The WB/Gilmore Girls' Facebook

Richard: When it comes to family drama, Richard reigns as the perpetual peacekeeper. From Emily and Lorelai’s constant struggle to understand one another to Rory’s infamous boat incident, Richard has that diplomatic Libra spirit to solve a crisis. You’re both even-keeled, thoughtful people who can see both sides of any story. The Gilmores would be beyond lucky to have you!

SCORPIO (OCTOBER 23-NOVEMBER 21)

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Jess: Within the Stars Hollow cosmos, there’s no one more intense than Jess — and the same goes for you, Scorpio. You’re both passionate, complex people who’ve come to appreciate your dark sides. Like you, Jess has incredible emotional depth that fuels a passionate heart. Plus, Jess’s mental/physical/emotional connection to Rory is exactly how you approach your own romantic relationships. Our lives would be so dull without you.

SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 22-DECEMBER 21)

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Lane: With a healthy dose of naiveté that everything’s going to be okay, Lane somehow managed to make her less-than-ideal upbringing totally work for her in the end. It’s this same unflappable optimism that guides you through life, Sag. You and Lane are resilient women who thrive on figuring it out with a smile on your face. You also both have a tendency toward obsessing over things you love, whether it’s obscure ’80s punk records or baking the perfect soufflé.

CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 22-JANUARY 19)

Image via Neil Jacobs/Netflix

Paris: Honestly, can you think of anyone more Capricorn-y than Paris Gellar (except for you, of course)? Whether it’s her laser-like focus on future success or her incredible organizational capacities, Paris totally vibes with your serious commitment to reaching your goals (and constant need to prove yourself). You both crave stability in your life and loyalty from your friends and have put structures in place to ensure you get them, no matter where life takes you.

AQUARIUS (JANUARY 20-FEBRUARY 18)

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Lorelai: Emily may have underestimated Lorelai’s free spirit, but we know you totally have her ticket, Aquarius. Whether she’s raising a daughter on her own, going to graduate school, or starting a new business, Lorelai is forever independent, thinking outside the box to make her goals a reality. She’s also got a rebellious streak with an aversion to authority that sounds a lot like someone we both know. Plus, you’re both the kind of people who will say it like it is while still understanding that everyone walks their own path. Where you lead, we’ll totally follow.

PISCES (FEBRUARY 19-MARCH 20)

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Dean: Does anyone really know Dean? He’s got that poetic, head-in-the-clouds thing down pat, which sounds a lot like you, Pisces. You’re both dreamers who prefer poetry to playing sports and have a shared illusory quality that makes you a bit of a chameleon, transforming yourself based on your current circumstances. Remember when he just up and got married all of the sudden?! Who knew!

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

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Logan: Did you know the Life and Death Brigade’s motto, In Omnia Paratus, means “ready for anything”? Of course you did, Aries, because it’s your life’s motto as well. Just as Logan literally leaped into the unknown, you too know how to take major risks and somehow always make them pay off. You’re both independent, strong-willed, action-oriented people who prefer to live boldly, whether that means stealing a boat or running a newspaper (er, but we wouldn’t recommend the former).

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

Image via The CW/The WB/Gilmore Girls' Facebook

Sookie: If you could live outdoors, you would, Taurus, precisely the same way Sookie would live in Jackson’s garden if she could. You’re both super-grounded and delight in sensory experiences that connect you back to the earth. Obviously, Sookie is an amazing chef, and you’re known as being the top foodie among your friend group. Life is all about the earthly pleasures for both of you, and you find peace at home, surrounded by creature comforts (and lots of cake).

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)

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Rory: You’re whip-smart with a mind that moves a mile a minute and an interest (and knowledge) in just about everything, Gemini — and that sounds a lot like our girl Rory. You’re both super-curious beings who derive genuine pleasure out of learning new things on the daily. If you could go to school forever, you’d be happy. And we’re pretty sure Rory would be sitting right beside you.

Does your favorite Gilmore Girls character fit with your zodiac sign match? Tweet us @BritandCo to let us know what you think!

Lead image via Neil Jacobs/Netflix

This post has been updated.

My S.O. will probably tell you that I randomly belt out, "Baby you're a firework" several times a day because I can't get enough of the way Katy Perryactively encourages people to b their full selves. It's something she strives to do in her career and personal life as evidenced by her public relationship with the actor Orlando Bloom. Yes, the same man who deliciously played Legolas in The Lord of the Rings and Will Turner in The Pirates of the Caribbean.

Now that I'm done catching my breath, it's recently occurred to me that these two are still in the wedding planning stage despite getting engaged all the way back in 2019. I'm certainly not knocking it, but I thought it'd be fun to revisit their relationship timeline to see how their love story began. Let's get into all things Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom!

Katy Perry And Orlando Bloom's Relationship Timeline

Image via Amy Sussman/Getty Images

January 2016

Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom met in 2016 while attending an afterparty once the Golden Globes ended. Per People, the “Firework” singer bonded with an American Idol contestant and excitedly shared how her paths crossed with Orlando. “So I had my security guard grab 10 In-N-Outs and all of a sudden I see my boyfriend’s hand — he wasn’t even sitting at our table — he just swoops in and he grabs it and I was like, ‘Hey that my burger,’” she recalled.

Orlando later revealed a little more about that moment when talking to The Times in 2018. He revealed he wasn’t really aware of her work before meeting her.

February 2016

Things apparently went well for the two because Orlando didn’t waste time introducing Katy to he and Miranda Kerr’s son Flynn. A source revealed to Peoplethat the two attended the birthday party of Robert Downey, Jr.'s son at the time.

"They were laughing, playing music and joking around with Flynn...Katy looked very comfortable at the kids party," according to the source.

May 2016

Right before the summer of 2016, Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom announced their relationship via Instagram. As evidenced by her caption, “We cannes’t,” the couple were enjoying the bliss of being in Cannes, France at the time.

August 2016

One half of this lovely duo was spotted in the nude during another vacation and it’s an understatement to say the pics went viral. While Katy chose to don a bikini, Orlando decided to let loose — literally — and those sneaky paparazzi captured him in all of his glory.

He told Elle UK in 2017, “We’d been completely alone for five days. Nothing around us. There was no way anyone could get anything. So I had a moment of feeling free.”

Image via Andreas Rentz/Getty Images

February 2017

Sadly the couple broke up in 2017 and this caused their reps to release a statement to People in order to control any narratives that may have stemmed from it. “Before rumors or falsifications get out of hand, we can confirm that Orlando and Katy are taking respectful, loving space at this time,” the statement said.

Two sources gave different reasons for their split, but E! News reported that an insider said, "...they did discuss a future together during their relationship. They had an enormous amount of love for one another."

Despite their breakup, Orlando Bloom insisted there wasn't anything horrible about their breakup in his Elle UKinterview. "It's good. We're all grown-up. She happens to be someone who is very visible, but I don't think anybody cares what I'm up to. Nor should they. It's between us. It's better to set an example for kids and show that [break-ups] don't have to be about hate"

April 2018

Time does heal wounds in some instances because Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom were seen spending more time together again. The singer shared an Instagram photo of them greeting Pope Francis and showing their support for The Cura Foundation with her fans.

September 2018

By the fall of 2018, Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom were definitely an item again. They appeared on their first red carpet together at The Global Ocean Gala and looked stunning. Elle even reported the two took a picture with Prince Albert and Princess Charlene of Monaco.

December 2018

In a hilarious turn of events, Katy Perry found herself winning a date with Orlando Bloom after she outbid an eager fan during the One Love Malibu Festival charity auction. A fan account on Instagram shared a video of the Katy saying, "You can do a motorcycle ride with him to a lunch destination to have lunch with Orlando freaking Bloom. That also means that when you are on the motorcycle with him you’re holding him in a way that I am not excited about."

Honestly, same Katy.

Image via Julien M. Hekimian/Getty Images for Louis Vuitton

February 2019

The pair must've joyfully rang in the New Year in 2019 because they Katy happily took to Instagram to give fans a close-up look at her engagement ring from Orlando. She wrote, "full bloom" as her caption so there was no mistaking that she and Orlando were taking their relationship to the next step.

Katy opened up about how his proposal went when she appeared on Capital Breakfast with Roman Kemp a few months later. "It was Valentine's Day...[Orlando]'s, like, clean-shaven. He's not wearing tennis shoes. I was like 'Ah, sh*t, something is going down,'" she happily shared.

March 2019

They moved in together right after getting engaged and this seemed to work better for everyone. A source told People, "Since they are engaged, it was just a natural step for them to live together."

June 2019

It wasn't long before people began wondering what Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom's wedding plans were, but the two have never been in a rush to walk down the aisle. Instead, Katy had this to say during an appearance on KISS Breakfast With Tom & Daisy: "One step at a time. Definitely trying to lay the good emotional foundation for the lifetime of commitment, which is like a big deal"

August 2019

Orlando shared Katy's sentiments and reiterated them when he stopped by the Today show in 2019. He told Willie Geist, "It’s important to me that we are aligned — I’ve been married and divorced and I don’t want to do it again..."

Image via Phillip Faraone/Getty Images

December 2019

While the couple were never in a rush to have a wedding, they ultimately decided to push things back as reported by US Weekly. A source told the outlet, "They changed the timing due to the location they want," and that makes sense. Planning a wedding often involves making sure venues, caterers, and more will be available during the time a couple is thinking about getting married.

February 2020

Things carried on as usual for the couple with Katy sharing a snapshot of the two on Instagram a couple of months later. They were celebrating a year of being engaged and her caption reads, "one year ago I said yes to a life of love and evolution... and definitely never a dull moment 😜."

March 2020

The next month is when Katy Perry revealed that she and Orlando were expecting their first baby together! She shared a brief video clip of her single "Never Worn White" on Instagram and basically let fans know she was pregnant. It's hard to miss her soul-deep smile and glow.

April 2020

The video for "Never Worn White" seemed to hint at the gender of Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom's baby, but the singer officially confirmed it on an Instagram post promoting her single "Daisies." She wrote, "🌼 The first single from #KP5 is called #DAISIES and she’s coming MAY 15, 2020 🌼," in her caption and the crowd went wild!

Image via Emma McIntyre/Getty Images for Variety

August 2020

Later that year, UNICEF posted a photo of Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom holding their newborn's hand on Instagram to announce she'd arrived. The organization told fans via their caption that the couple were overjoyed about their daughter's birth. "We are floating with love and wonder from the safe and healthy arrival of our daughter," the organization shared in its caption.

Orlando couldn't help but gush over his little girl during a brief virtual appearance for The Ellen Show. He said, "...she sort of looked like a bit like my mum so then I got a little bit confused because Katy's breast feeding this mini-me/my mum/who’s she going to look like next."

January 2021

And when Katy Perry performed during Joe Biden's inauguration, Orlando was right there cheering her on! He gleefully shared a BTS clip of her on Instagram and wrote, "One day our little girl will grow up and see her mother play her part in a moment in history that we hope will heal, we hope will unite, we hope, we love ❤️ One proud partner here with a tear of joy 🇺🇸🎆🙏." BRB, I have to grab tissues.

September 2021

When Katy Perry accepted a prestigous award at Variety's Power of Women in 2021, she gave a heartfelt message that spoke of the two greatest loves in her life — Orlando Bloom and their daughter Daisy. "....[Orlando] an incredible father [and] an example to our greatest gift ever, our daughter Daisy — a future powerful woman. I pledge to you to do my best to be an example of one, to never put limits on your dreams, to lead with love, never through fear, and to always be your lighthouse in any darkness..."

January 2022

Orlando also showed his support for Katy when she was in Las Vegas for her residency. He shared a goofy picture of him BTS with her on Instagram and wrote, "There’s a new act on the #vegas strip @katyperry so proud of you. Let’s all go#play 🍄🚀 HNY❤️," as his caption.

Image via Kevin Winter/Getty Images

May 2022

Appearing on Chelsea Handler's podcast Dear Chelsea, Katy got real about her and Orlando attending therapy together. "We love it because it keeps us in tune...and so when you want to come back to being normal in a domesticated world where you have a child and stuff like that, you have to really learn how to be kind of different out there in the big and in the small," she said.

We love a couple who attends therapy together!

February 2023

Orlando also revealed to Flaunt that things can be challenging for the couple. He said, "Her pool is not a pool that I necessarily understand, and I think my pool is not a pool that she necessarily understands. Sometimes things are really, really, really, challenging. I won’t lie. We definitely battle with our emotions and creativity."

April 2024

Now here we are in 2024 and the blushing couple are still very much in love. They attended the 10th Annual Breakthrough Prize Event earlier this month and look elegant in their black-tie outfits.

As far as their wedding plans are concerned, Katy Perry shared what she plans to do once she leaves American Idol. Per Parade, she appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live! and said, "I think this probably will be my last show, my last season forIdol. I mean, I love Idolso much. It’s connected me with the heart of America, but I feel like I need to go out and feel that pulse to my own beat."

She didn't explicitly talk about when she's getting married to Orlando bloom but we'll cross our fingers for a beautiful wedding either this year or in 2025.

Do you think Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom are getting married soon? Let us know in the comments and follow the conversation on Facebook!

Lead image via Emma McIntyre/Getty Images for Variety

Happiness is often something we think we'll gain down the road once we accomplish X, Y, and Z: a dream job, the perfect partner, a bigger salary, a bigger house. Yet things like fame, goods, success, and validation are the stuff of which the old conception of happiness was made. According to this way of thinking, once we reach one goal, it's time to set another one that will for sure make us happy... yet it never really does. Society has told us that achieving our own personal success will make us happy, but that’s actually a lie, says Stephanie Harrison, founder and creator of The New Happy.

Stephanie developed The New Happy philosophy during her graduate studies at the University of Pennsylvania, where she received a Master's degree in Applied Positive Psychology. What is The New Happy? It comes down to setting compassionate goals rather than self-image goals in which you are trying to win or maintain other people’s approval. We chatted with Stephanie about this new outlook on life that has garnered more than 400K fans of her colorful, data-driven IG.


Why does happiness seem out of reach for so many?

Stephanie: I was fascinated to discover that so many of our beliefs about happiness do not come from within, but from the world around us. These beliefs have a profound impact on our actions and perceptions.

At The New Happy, our philosophy sets up a paradigm distinguishing between ‘Old Happy,’ the definition of happiness that you have been taught by the world around you, and ‘New Happy,’ a new science-backed approach to happiness that not only helps you but helps the world.

I think one of the core problems is that many of us don’t even know that we have a definition of happiness, let alone what it is and how it is affecting us. If we have a completely unrealistic definition of happiness, as Old Happy does, then it will always feel out of reach. In Old Happy, happiness is always one achievement away – it’s always the next one that will finally make you good enough, and then you can stop, take a break, spend time with your loved ones, and be the person you want to be. Starting to notice this pattern in ourselves is a really important way to begin shifting our perspective.

How have we been misinformed about happiness? How is that harming people?

Stephanie: The core belief underpinning the Old Happy paradigm is that you are not good enough as you are, and to remedy this, you must go out and achieve something in the world to become worthy. This belief creates tremendous pain. Feeling like we are only conditionally worthy puts us in a state of constant self-evaluation, judging how we are doing and how close we are to ‘enough’ – an exhausting experience that persistently drains our joy and vitality.

When I look at our collective well-being challenges, like burnout and loneliness, I see Old Happy all over it. We need to broaden our conversation about well-being and happiness to include societal influences, many of which have gone unacknowledged. If we have been taught by our world that happiness comes from achieving more, and that is reinforced by all of our systems, then we will prioritize individual success, and de-prioritize those critically important paths to happiness, like our connections, nature, and helping those in our community and the world around us.

My argument is that there is a far better way to find happiness: through being of service to the world using your authentic gifts. This is what I call your New Happy. To be happy, you need to feel useful. There are so many problems in our world that need help: they need your brain, your heart, your hands, your energy, your voice. There are people who are suffering, and they need exactly what you have to offer. In doing that, you will not only be able to help make our world a better place, but when you are expressing yourself authentically, you will also find purpose, feel frequent joy, and cultivate a stable, lasting sense of well-being. This approach to happiness is underpinned by a sense of compassion for all, a recognition that we are all connected and we need to care for the collective to be happy as individuals. It’s also hopeful: I believe that if we come together, we have what it takes to create a world where every person can experience happiness, just as they deserve.

Can you share some data points that support the New Happy philosophy?

Stephanie: One of the research topics supporting our philosophy is the idea of quieting your ego. This is the process of seeking a sustainable balance between yourself and others that leads to positive growth for all. It is related to personal outcomes like self-esteem and resilience, but also to the actions that you take in the world. Having a quiet ego is strongly connected to setting compassionate goals, which are goals where you are trying to contribute to other people’s well-being. These are contrasted with self-image goals, where you are trying to win or maintain other people’s approval – Old Happy goals. While self-image goals are associated with a decrease in self-esteem and connection, compassionate goals are associated with an increase in self-esteem and connection.

Another important element of our philosophy is the recognition of our interconnectedness. I think it’s really beautiful that the research shows this: When we care for others, we experience personal benefits; when we care for ourselves, we are inspired to and supported in caring for others. Giving increases your own positive emotions, sense of connectedness to others, and sense of meaning. One recent study found that behaving in a more selfless way is associated with greater happiness.

Turning to the research on caring for yourself, we can see the benefits, too. Extending compassion toward yourself predicts a reduction in depression, anxiety and stress symptoms as well as an increase in well-being. One study found that practicing self-affirmation increases feelings of self-compassion, which in turn motivates giving behavior. Every time you care for yourself, you’re supporting your ability to be there for others; every time you care for others, you’re also caring for yourself. It’s all connected.

Are there people who are just born happier, or can you learn to be happier?

Stephanie: There’s some debate about this, but many scholars believe that we have a general ‘happiness set-point,’ which is your base natural level of natural happiness. It is helpful to think of it more like a range, where you can boost yourself up to the top of it based on your daily actions. What you do does matter.

Happiness can be thought of as more than just the emotion that you feel when things go right. It’s about living a happy life, an existence that is aligned with who you are and what matters most to you.

One powerful reframe here is thinking of happiness not as an outcome, which is an Old Happy perspective, but as an action. When you are living your life, being authentically yourself and sharing that self in a way that has a positive benefit upon others, you experience happiness as a byproduct.

What are ways in which we can experience more joy in our lives?

Stephanie: Creating joy in our lives is such a priority. It is an emotion that not only benefits our own well-being, but also contributes to our relationships, our capacity to help and support others, and our resilience. Here are a few strategies.

First, help someone around you. There’s a reason that being of service is at the heart of our philosophy! There are so many studies that show the power of giving: It not only affects our happiness but impacts our physical health, too. It can positively impact your blood pressure, reduce your stress, and even extend your longevity. Do something small right now: Send someone a thank you text, let a loved one know how special they are to you, do a random act of kindness, share your expertise with someone, donate or advocate for a cause that needs you, engage in a warm conversation with a stranger, ask someone how they are doing and really listen. In the longer term, think about how you can use your gifts – the authentic actions that bring you joy – and offer them up to contribute to the world’s collective happiness.

Second, slow down, and look for something beautiful in the world around you. We miss a lot of the good, important stuff because we’re so focused on what we need to do. Decide you are going to look for the good: a wonderful quality in a loved one, something in nature, a moment of kindness. Once you see it, allow yourself to savor it and really soak it in. If you can, tell someone else about it to leverage the additional benefits of social connection. When you share with someone, you are able to extend the moment of goodness beyond the event itself, a ripple effect of joy that touches you and your relationship in a meaningful way.

Third, get outside into the world if it’s accessible for you. Our feelings of loneliness and disconnection are likely to increase when we are stuck inside our homes, as so many of us have been. One study found that spending just twenty minutes in nature lowers cortisol, your stress hormone, up to 20 percent! Nature is also the most reliable place to experience a sense of awe, which can inspire giving and compassionate behavior.

Finally, make joy a shared pursuit. Decide with your family or roommates or friends that you are going to consciously ‘joy-ify’ a regular activity, like making dinner, doing chores, or a regular routine. Ask yourselves, what would make me feel more connected to this activity, this moment, or the people we are sharing it with? There are so many creative ways you might do this. In one of our New Happy Challenges where we taught the skill of joy, participants came up with all sorts of wonderful ideas, including cooking recipes from around the world, doing an end-of-workday dance party, and sharing a moment of gratitude as a family at the end of every day.


How can we support our friends when they're feeling down?

Stephanie: As a society, we’re not very comfortable with pain, suffering, grief, and the difficulties of being a human. There’s so much pressure to appear happy and like you have it all together. No one has it all together, and everyone is going through something, and I think that collectively pretending that this isn’t true is very harmful for all of us.

If someone trusts you enough to open up to you about their pain, this is a powerful opportunity to nurture your connection, share micro-moments of love, and support them. I developed an acronym to help you to be there in these moments: FANAL, which is an old word for a lighthouse or beacon. I love this metaphor because it gives us an idea for how we can be for others: firmly grounded within ourselves, sharing a light that shines upon them and guides them to a safe, secure place.

Here’s how to use it:

  • F: Focus on the person. Give them your full attention and make this moment about them.
  • A: Ask how they are feeling. If they brush you aside or give a standard answer, you might need to gently ask a second time or in a different way to make it clear you really want to know how they are.
  • N: Notice their suffering. Many of us are afraid to look at pain, as though it is embarrassing or contagious. This leaves the person in pain feeling so lonely. Try to really see them and their pain.
  • A: Acknowledge their experience. This pain might be the most palpable thing in their lives right now. Honor that reality. Don’t deny it or try to change their perception of it. Tell them that you see what they are going through, and how painful it is.
  • L: Listen. Just keep listening, asking more questions to invite them to keep sharing. Stay with them until they are ready to change the topic.

This practice will help you to be there for them in a compassionate way.

Thanks Stephanie! You can follow the New Happy @newhappyconewhappyco.

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Main photo by Jakob Owens onUnsplash

This post has been updated from a previous story.

I love looking at Zillow listings as much as the best of us, but absolutely nobody loves daydreaming about all the outrageously beautiful (and costly) houses for sale more than my mother-in-law. She finds the most gorgeous gems across the country, saving them all for when she inevitably wins the lottery (if anyone would, it's her TBH) and can take her pick of the housing litter. Instead of gatekeeping these jaw-dropping homes, I had her send them my way so I can share them with you! So without further ado, here are 15 of most insanely stunning — and insanely expensive — Zillow houses for sale right now.

Beach Houses

Image via Zillow

East Hampton Beach Cottage

Cost: $44,500,000

The Hamptons are known for their clean, chic shingle architectural style, and this "cottage" is no exception to that. And while I absolutely adore the inside of this home, it's the grounds that really get me at the end of the day. Think about all the beautiful backyard dinner parties you could throw!

Image via Zillow

Destin Beach House Destination

Cost: $4,100,000​

Who needs a time share in Destin when you could own all this?! This airy, beautiful house takes coastal home style to the next level. I love the sandy, earthy tones paired with the light blues and open space. And for less than 10% of the Bridgehampton beauty above, this is basically a steal, right? 😉​

Image via Zillow

Marvelous Marco Island Getaway

Cost: $5,450,000

I vacation on Marco every year with my in-laws, but I can PROMISE you our one-bedroom timeshare (that I love) isn't anywhere near this stunning super home. Swipe through photos to see how gorgeously staged this multi-million dollar home is — I promise it won't disappoint!

Image via Zillow

Laguna Beach Beauty

Cost: $21,500,000

Obviously Laguna Beach is known for so much more than the hit MTV show, but I can't untangle the two. So in my mind, this is the home Lauren Conrad's parents worked on in Season 1 Episode 1 — a $20+ million dollar stunner that I would later stare at on Zillow. It's not true, but wouldn't it be fun?

Image via Zillow

California Dream House

Cost: $55,000,000

Not only is this a dream house because of how it looks, but also because I could only afford this in my literal wildest dreams. Unless someone decides to discover me on the New York streets for the funny, talented gal my parents think I am, this is strictly a mood board manifestation moment. (But, what if?!)

Image via Zillow

At Home In The Hamptons

Cost: $79,995,000

Oh, how I could wax poetic about this $80 million Bridgehampton beauty. Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Ya know...the one I would love to have in this very house? Just lounging, living luxuriously? That imaginary inheritance I daydream about could reaaaaaally come in handy right about now.

Image via Zillow

Fantastic Florida Beach Cottage

Cost: $9,950,000

In case you can't tell, none of these homes are "cottages" outside of their aesthetic. While this six bedroom, four bathroom may look humbler than the rest, the cost should indicate what we're working with here. Each room is so perfectly curated, and to have all this right in the heart of Naples is absolutely everything. I could see myself sitting by that fire for SURE.

Condos & Townhouses

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Gorgeous Georgetown Condo

Cost: $5,495,000

DC is more than just Capitol Hill, and this Georgetown Condo proves it! The natural light, the natural wood accents, and the big, airy rooms make this home a welcomed reprieve in on of the busier U.S. cities. And while you're getting a lot in a small package (three bedrooms for $5+ million...😭), you're really paying for the neighborhood. Georgetown really is full of beautiful townhouses, great restaurants and bars, and overall good vibes.

Image via Zillow

Upper East Side Excellence

Cost: $65,000,000

Hello, Upper East Siders...Zillow Girl here! All jokes aside, this $65 million townhouse is giving all the old money luxe that Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf would settle into quite nicely. The molding, the wraparound staircases, and the sheer size alone are something else, but the biggest surprise here? TEN BATHROOMS. TEN!!!!!!

Image via Zillow

Totally Airy Brooklyn Townhouse

Cost: $6,950,000

Good new, girls! This totally killer townhouse had a $300,000 price cut last month, bringing it to...just under $7 million! While I try to fix my eye twitch after writing that, scroll through to see the gorgeousness that is this literal mid-century modern four-story home. It's like a little (big) oasis in the middle of the big city!

Image via Zillow

Beautiful Turn-Of-The-Century Brooklyn Townhouse

Cost: $6,995,000

I've said it once and I'll say it again: Carroll Gardens in my dream neighborhood. It's got all the Brooklyn charm with its brilliant brownstones, lively dining scene, and tree-lined streets. Plus, it's so incredibly close to Prospect Park for all your summer strolls with the kids or the dogs or yourself or whomever! And while I could go on and on about the location, the townhouse itself is kitschy with it's mix of classic and modern details.

Mountain And Lake Houses

Image via Zillow

Charming Wyoming Ranch House

Cost: $8,199,000

It feels a little silly to call a nearly $10 million home "charming," but here we are. This modern ranch-style mountain house looks unassuming from the outside. And the four-bedroom inside is really nice, too, don't get me wrong. But what really makes this worth it, if I had to guess? The freaking VIEW. Can you imagine sipping your coffee and staring off into that horizon every morning? Yes, please. I would like one of these.

Image via Zillow

Cozy North Carolina Castle

​Cost: $7,500,000

Ah yes, nothing cozier than a literal castle-sized house in Appalachia. In all seriousness, the dark wood accents give you that almost cabin-esque feel that the mountain range so obviously calls for. With 10 bedrooms, this is the perfect retreat for your family get-togethers! You can enjoy each other's company across the estate, or you could...find a little hiding spot and nobody would know the wiser. 😉​

Image via Zillow

Sante Fe Getaway

Cost: $3,375,000

The most affordable of the bunch, this single-story Sante Fe residence is a dream-come-true! You've got lake views, trails, and even a golf course if that's your thing! My personal favorite part of this lovely little home, however, is the wine cellar. Can you imagine being like, "Yeah, just go grab a bottle from the wine cellar"?! Like I said, dream-come-freaking-true!

Image via Zillow

Lovely Michigan Lake House

Cost: $3,649,000

The windows alone are enough to make this house the dreamiest escape, let alone the private and super exclusive access to Lake Michigan. This home may only have three bedrooms and four bathrooms, but each room feels intentional, spacious, and utterly luxurious. I'd definitely dip my toes in that water!

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Header image via Zillow

Sequels that are just as good, if not better, than the original movie are one in a million, but if you ask me, Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement definitely tops the list. Anne Hathaway brings a whole new spunk and adultified sass to the freshly 21-year-old Mia Thermopolis, and Julie Andrews shines as Queen Clarisse! (Both on the karaoke stage and off ;)). Not to mention the movie also gave us the blueprint for contemporary enemies to lovers: Nicholas and Mia!

While Bridgerton producer Shonda Rhimes wasn't involved with the first movie, she was the writer for the second — and TBH, that's definitely a reason it's so good!

Image via Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images

"I thought [Princess Diaries 2] would be a really fun thing to do and it turned out to be great," she tells Variety. "I always think it's funny now because I'm working with Julie Andrews now on Bridgerton, but I also spent time writing her as a queen in that movie, and so it was kind of great to get to work with her both times. It's also sort of come full circle in a weird way."

Shonda Rhimes goes on to explain one cut scene she remembers really fondly — and how Andrews' expert performance made it even more heartbreaking to cut. "That was pretty much one of my favorite scenes," she says. "It was this moment where Julie Andrews [has] had her heart broken, and some staff comes in and they start to ask her a question and she screams, 'Do I never get a moment to myself?!' and it was such an amazing moment the way she played it, and the elegance with which she did it. It's really about the pain of being a queen."

"She did it so well," Rhimes continues. "But in general, honestly, she's the nicest person you will ever meet and she was so nice to me, I was nervous to meet her, I was shaking, [but she's] so lovely."

After Julie Andrews sent the sweetest graduation gift to a fan, I'm not surprised to hear how incredible she is. I still have my fingers crossed that we'll see Julie Andrews in The Princess Diaries 3 — and that Shonda Rhimes will return as screenwriter.

What's your favorite scene from the Princess Diaries movies? The mattress surfing scene in Princess Diaries 2 is definitely one of the best movie moments of all time. If you're feeling nostalgic, check out 6 Nostalgic Movies That Feel Like Summer Vacation!

Lead image via Walt Disney Pictures/Buena Vista