5 Parenting Myths You Can Stop Believing
Every day, it seems like there’s a brand-new parenting study or news article with expert tips for raising great kids. You’ve read so many at this point that you don’t know what to believe. You think you’re doing a pretty good job, but then a new parenting book comes along and throws your entire mama world into chaos. Before you start questioning everything and focusing on how you’re parenting all wrong, let’s get one thing straight: You’re not a failure — not even a little bit. Read on for the five parenting myths you should stop believing once and for all.
1. Never put your needs first. You’re 100 percent hopelessly devoted to your kid. She’s the apple of your eye, your pride, your joy, and the one person you would do absolutely anything for. But being all about your child doesn’t have to mean that you always put her needs first. (Of course, there are plenty of times when this is a must, like when she’s sick or hungry.) There’s a reason the flight attendant tells you to put on your oxygen mask before your child’s. If you aren’t taking care of yourself, you’re of no use to anyone, including your child. Caring for your kid — that’s a yes. Ignoring your needs now that you’re a mom — that’s a myth you need to put to rest.
2. Kids always need choices. Giving your child a few choices can really pay off: It can reduce temper tantrums, build critical-thinking skills, and make her feel like she’s more in control. But it’s not always your best option. Let’s say it’s the middle of the winter, and your preschooler refuses to put her coat on before exiting the grocery store. You could give her the choice to wear it or not, but it’s way too cold for that. (Plus, she’ll probably spend 10 minutes blocking the store’s exit as she debates wearing, and not wearing, the coat.) Seriously, put on your dictator hat and tell (not ask) her to wear the coat. It’s for her own good. You’re the parent, and it’s your job to protect your child.
3. Bribery is always a bad idea. If you’re a fan of RHONY, you probably remember some candy-coated bribery from last season. If not, one of the housewives admitted that bribing her little ones with Sour Patch Kids totally worked for her. Before you start judging and saying, “I’m a better mom than that,” think about it. Maybe you should carry around a pocketful of gummies in the event you need your child to do what you ask. This tactic works, but it can backfire. If you bribe your child every time she throws a fit, she’s going to expect a reward. An occasional peace offering may hold your child’s attention long enough to calm the situation.
4. If you pick up your crying baby, you’re spoiling her. Your MIL is a total fan of this one. Your newborn is wailing away, and you rush to her side. In some circles, this is a major parenting no-no. According to the cry-it-out theory, you should leave your baby where she is, and she’ll learn to self-soothe. Oh, and if you don’t, you’re spoiling her. This is a total myth. You can’t spoil a newborn. You’re not giving in when you pick up your crying three-week-old. You’re helping her. As your baby gets older, you can take more time before running to her cry. Until then, go ahead and pick her up. There’s no proof that doing so will turn her into a spoiled brat later in life.
5. You can make your kid a genius. Oh, the flash cards. You have stacks on stacks on stacks of them. Why? Well, because someone told you that it’s entirely possible for parents to make their kids smarter by throwing an educational arsenal at them. So, you enroll your baby in infant art classes, take your toddler to early-math tutoring, and pick out at least five different languages for your preschooler to learn. Providing your child with plenty of learning opps isn’t a bad thing — but thinking they’ll put her on the road to Harvard just isn’t realistic. Sometimes parents need to let their kids be kids. That may mean scaling back on the educational push and giving playtime a chance.
What parenting myth drives you batty? Share your pick and tweet us @BritandCo!
(Photos via Getty)
Pocket doors are so delightful in and of themselves. They appear when you need them, get tucked away when you don't, and make it easy to define rooms while keeping an open floor plan. Add to the pocket door a joyful patterned wallpaper surprise, and you will be sent right into fits of visual jubilation! Or something ;) Today we're sharing two simple and impactful pocket door makeovers that zhuzh up your space in a jiffy.
Anjelika Temple here, co-founder of Brit + Co and proud owner of several pocket doors! When I moved into my first real grown-up house a couple years ago, I knew I wanted to incorporate wallpaper so reached out to our friends at Chasing Paper to see how we might collaborate. It felt like a total lightbulb moment when I realized I could create a surprise pop of pattern on a couple sets of pocket doors.
Not only is it a whimsical way to bring color into a space, but the doors double as picture-perfect backdrops for all your SFH (selfies from home, obvs).
A few pro tips about install:
- Removable wallpaper is miraculously forgiving! You can take it on and off multiple times without it losing integrity (or mucking up your surface).
- I ordered this adhesive wallpaper installation kit with a squeegee and xacto knife and it worked super well. I also recommend a sharp pair of scissors for cutting longer lines.
- This is a two-person job! Get a friend, put on a playlist, and get ready to bond.
- Wild, organic patterns like Tally are great because it's challenging to spot any imperfections in pattern alignment; keep pattern choice in mind if you've got a lot of corners to match up. More geometric patterns and larger shapes leave less room for error (but are awesome in their own right!).
BATHROOM POCKET DOORS
In our primary bathroom, we chose the wallpaper pattern Tally, designed by Kelly Ventura, in White and Navy. In our space, the navy reads as a soft black, which is perfect for the space. It's easy to combine an ever-rotating collection of linens with the Tally pattern.
I love how the white trim becomes the perfect frame around this pocket door piece of art.
My favorite moment in this space is the fact that you actually get a third pop of pattern thanks to our serendipitously placed mirror!
And yes, this one works pretty darn well as a backdrop too ;)
LIVING ROOM DOUBLE DOORS
This set of doors is definitely a focal point of our home. It separates our living room from our primary bedroom which opens onto our backyard. The doors are pretty much always open, but when they're closed we wanted to evoke a fun, nature-inspired vibe. With that in mind, we selected the Lines and Moons pattern by Thimblepress in Green and Brown.
Earth mama vibes up in here! I love how the shapes and colors echo the ferns you see through the windows and the acorn wood details throughout the house.
Love this pattern moment, and xacto-ing out the door handle is def on the oddly satisfying DIY list.
For a pattern lover like me, I love that now I have this instant photo backdrop!
Thanks to Chasing Paper for providing these rolls of pure pattern amazingness. Head to chasingpaper.com to find our own favorites and start adding patterns to your home!
(Wallpaper wingwoman: Kayla Haykin; Photography: Kurt Andre)