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What Aziz Ansari + Other Comedians Can Teach You About Love

Most of you recognize comedy bad boy Aziz Ansari from Parks and Recreation, where he played entrepreneur and “treat-yo-self” advocate Tom Haverford. What you might not have known until this past week is that he actually has a lot of good advice about relationships. His new book Modern Romance comes out this week, and his comedy special of the same name can be found on Netflix. You may not think comedians have a lot to offer in the love advice category, but look at Aziz himself: he’s dating a super hot chef who worked at Momofuku. A beautiful, successful woman who can make cookies? That’s a catch no matter how you slice it (and please don’t slice women at all). But Ansari isn’t alone when it comes to offering guidance for the modern dater and the following are tips and tricks you can steal from some of the best stand ups. As always, a two drink minimum is encouraged.

1. Aziz Ansari — Go where the dates are: Though most of Ansari’s book/special is about the perils of texting while dating, he also has great advice on where to go to find true love. In an excerpt he shared with Glamour, Ansari recalls that he used to look for partners in all the wrong places. “I had been staying out like a lunatic and complaining that I only met lunatics,” he says. Finally he “began doing things that I’d want theoretical girl friends to be into.” This lead him to more museums and food events where he eventually met his current partner. (Photo via JP Yim/Getty)

2. Garfunkel and Oates — Don’t do the “Fadeaway”: Comedy music duo Garfunkel and Oates have been singing the true true for a long time when it comes to relationships. Their songs discuss everything from apartment cleanliness post-breakup to the complexities of the ol’ HJ, but by far their best piece of advice involves the Fadeaway. The Fadeaway is when you’ve been on a few dates and you just aren’t clicking but instead of breaking up cleanly you “pretend to suspend it… saying I’m busy all week… withdraw from you by being oblique.” As G+ O put it, “the way men break up may be sloppy and terse/what they do is bad and what we do is worse,” and that people often pretend the Fadeaway is actually the nicer option. Fight the fade; be direct when communicating with your date and save everyone a headache. (Photo via YouTube)

3. John Mulaney — Find someone who advocates for you: John Mulaney describes having a girlfriend “like having a lawyer in real life.” This is not to say that his wife Annamarie Tendler Mulaney is his legal counsel (she’s actually a beauty expert with a super cute Instagram) — it just means she looks out for him. “Before I had a girlfriend I had no standard for how I should be treated. You could do anything to me,” he says. “I was like a young Motown singer.” He goes on to say that she urges him to speak up in social situations when things aren’t going his way (aka late food at a restaurant, unfair treatment on airlines). Always pick a partner who will be your number one teammate, someone with your best interests at heart. (Photo via @johnmulaney)

4. Aisha Tyler — Don’t lie. Ever. Aisha Tyler is a stand up known for being fashionable, sharp and essential to the nerd community (that’s her voicing Lana on Archer). In a Glamour article from 2013, she says that in this day of wall-to-wall tech, lying is completely impossible. “Often the lie is worse than the crime,” she says. “So long as you’re not intentionally hurting anyone, your stumbles will make you seem human.” Think about that next time you feel the need to pretend that you absolutely have seen your date’s favorite movie or that of course you don’t still talk to your ex. Instead, be direct and willing to learn. (Photo via Mark Davis/Getty)

5. Jim Gaffigan — Find someone who makes you better: The comedy world is full of great husband and wife teams (Mavis/Jay Leno, Stiller/Meara to name a few) but one of the best ones working today is Jeannie and Jim Gaffigan. Jeannie has produced every one of Jim’s comedy specials since he started and is often credited as a co-writer on his albums. She can be seen with him on every tour along with their five kids (who she also technically co-produced). Find someone doing what they love and find out what your place is within that love. Chances are they’ll support your dreams right back. If you’re lucky, you’ll be an unstoppable team. (Photo via Paul Zimmerman/Getty)

Got a funny love tip? Share it in the comments!

Alright, folks. We've officially made it to fall. And if you haven't already started switching out your decor (as long as it's ready by Friendsgiving, right?) you still have time to do so. Draw inspiration from this round-up of new home products that includes harvest-inspired candles, cozy linens and textiles, and a v. practical piece of furniture. One scroll through these, and you'll have all the motivation you need to transition the seasons. Scroll on to start shopping.

Prism x LOREM Collection ($96+): Calling all Cali babes. The popular Long Beach boutique, Prism, announced a boho-fabulous collab with home decor line, LOREM, that we can't get enough of. Shop everything from plant hangers (eight options, to be exact) to artwork, all inspired by the very colorful vibes of the brands. If you were looking for a cheery way to tide you through winter, this. is. it!

Floyd Mattress (Price TBD): Fans of the cult-favorite Detroit-based brand will love their latest launch debuting on October 29. The highly-coveted Floyd Mattress will have the same made-to-last design and superior comfort as their other furnishings, tailored perfectly to fit the line's in-demand bed frame. Additional details for the mattress include a breathable foam material, highly-mobile packaging, and a low-profile design to secure your best night's sleep yet. Check back on the last week of the month to get one for yourself.

Dims 'Composed Vanity' ($595): Small space? No problem! Direct-to-consumer brand, Dims, is giving you a quick and stylish solution to your storage needs with their newest item that doubles as both a desk and vanity. The functional piece is made with non-toxic, chemical-free materials and can be assembled in seven minutes or less. Throw in four sleek shades to choose from, and this may just be your best purchase of 2019 yet!

Saatchi Art x The Citizenry Holiday Collection ($225+): Get ready to deck your walls this holiday season. Saatchi Art partnered with The Citizenry in a one-of-a-kind collection that features a curation of art across styles. Explore everything from modern to abstract creations in a selection so stunning, it's bound to spark a conversation at your next gathering.

NEST Spiced Orange & Clove Collection ($16+): If you haven't experienced the addicting aromas of the beloved NEST fragrance brand, this is the perfect time to get on board! The label recently released their latest scent — spiced orange & clove — just in time for all your gatherings. Inhale festive notes of orange pomander, spiced brandy, cinnamon, and gingered honey across their suite of candles and diffusers to bring all the good vibes to your home.

Bloomingdales x RiLEY Home ($19+): RiLEY Home gets millennials. So they teamed up with Bloomingdales to make shopping their selection more attainable than ever. Now, you can get in on long-lasting, luxurious staples like flannel sheets, bedding, printed throws, premium pet beds, and more, by shopping online and in-stores at the department store. (Trust us: These dream goods are ones you're going to be *glad* you stocked-up on.)

Italic Serene Towels ($12+): The luxury brand that prides itself on using the *same* factories namesake brands (like Calvin Klein and Lacoste) use, but without the price tag behind them, brings you a new product for fall. Treat yourself to Italic's ultra-soft towel set spun from fluffy, 100% Australian cotton, in a convenient set of six. Consider it the perfect indulgence after a long soak in the tub on a cozy FNI (Friday night in)!

Hyascent x Neiman Marcus ($169): 'Tis the season for a delightfully scented home. Warm your abode with scents like bourbon joy, cheeky rose and more in a unique diffuser that doubles more as decor than a fragrance-inducer. Fresh off the (online) shelves of Neiman Marcus, explore nine scents that last up to six months in a specialized hourglass holder. (Shhh! Your friends will never know the secret of why your place smells so darn good!)