There鈥檚 no getting around it: Breakups suck. While we try to find comfort in the fact that just about everyone goes through at least one (and by repeating T. Swift鈥檚 girl squad鈥檚 best breakup advice over and over in our heads), breaking up with your S.O. can still feel like the end of the world. Well, according to Dr. Mariana Bockarova, a relationship researcher at the University of Toronto, the reason why breakups are the worst is actually rooted in science. Here are the three scientific reasons why it鈥檚 so darn hard to move on and Mariana鈥檚 advice on how to feel better (no, breakup movies and ice cream not included).

woman happy self love confident outside sunset


You鈥檝e probably heard that falling in love is similar to addiction. When we fall head over heels for someone, our brains are flooded with neurochemicals designed to make us feel good. However, when the honeymoon period is over, those neurochemicals tend to settle down to a normal level. Yet when we eventually breakup, our brain jumps right back to the initial high of falling in love, as an evolutionary motivator to re-attach to our partner (ugh thanks, science). And if you鈥檝e ever had your heart broken before, you know the pain of a broken heart is legit.

鈥淲hen it comes to broken relationships, barring abuse, trauma or mental illness, one major hindrance to moving on is the romanticized belief that there can only be one 鈥榯rue love鈥 for us in the world,鈥 says Mariana. So, when we split from our OTP, our brains go into overdrive trying to convince us to get back together with our S.O.

How to Cope: 鈥淚f you hold romanticized beliefs, one way to start the healing process after a breakup is to acknowledge that if your former partner were indeed your soulmate, then he or she likely wouldn鈥檛 have dissolved the relationship,鈥 Mariana suggests. It may not seem like much, but when you鈥檙e going through the thick of a breakup, this simple idea could really make a world of difference. That鈥檚 true even if you were the one to actually make the break (鈥檆ause you still did it for a really good reason, right?).

African woman supporting her Caucasian girlfriend


We rarely think about it, but different people have different psychological attachment styles. 鈥淥f the three main ways in which we can attach to another person romantically, those with an anxious attachment style (about 21 percent of the population) tend to be more dependent on their partners during a relationship and experience the greatest difficulty moving on,鈥 says Mariana.

How to Cope: If you have an anxious attachment style (find out which attachment style you have here), try busting out the tried and true getting-over-your-ex staples 鈥 deleting pics, reconnecting with old friends and avoiding their popular hangouts.

Boho girl writing in her diary wearing a floral dress


The Zeigarnik Effect is simple: People remember incomplete tasks more strongly than completed tasks. This means that the unfinished business component of your relationship could be causing your brain to be obsessing over your past relationship.

How to Cope: Instead of holding onto something that no longer exists, Mariana suggests writing a final goodbye letter to your former partner and either sending it without expecting a response or just plain trashing it.

What鈥檚 the best breakup advice you鈥檝e ever received? Tell us @BritandCo.

(Photos via Getty)