
He was a nice guy — smart, hot-ish (after one whiskey — and whatever, he even *kind of* looked like Zayn Malik — and I will always cheers to that), picked me up on a motorcycle on our second date and checked off enough of “the boxes” to warrant a third. But I never saw Motorcycle Zayn-esque Dude after Date #2. No, he didn’t ghost, I didn’t start seeing someone else, he didn’t move to NYC. It was just… that… he hated animals.
Okay, “HATED” is a strong word — but the truth is even worse. Zayn-ish was a scientist (whoa!), and during the inevitable “so what do you DO at work?” convo he revealed that he performed experiments on rats (oh…). My heart sank. And my Cool 2nd Date Chick Who Is Pretty Much Chill With Most Things demeanor completely crumbled.
“They’re raised just for this purpose,” he explained with a shrug. Logically, I knew he was doing important work that even the hippie in me could eventually justify, but I couldn’t help wondering, like, doesn’t it… aren’t you… how can you… sleep at night? “Well, I’m just not an animal person…”
Huh. So, um, you didn’t grow up begging your parents for a cat and settling for a fish? You didn’t become a vegetarian in your early 20s because you were dogsitting a special needs pup and realized you would, like, never eat him? You won’t go to the SPCA after brunch with me some Sunday a couple years into this thing and be like, “FINE yeah, totally let’s take home that three-legged mutt who’s ‘smiling at us’”??? Well, than it’s just not going to work out, bruh.
My example is an extreme one, but I’m not the only woman who has had to put a player out to pasture because he couldn’t roll with her four-legged love interests.
One of my coworkers (let’s call her… Kimberly) was dating a Perfect Guy — OR WAS HE?
He wore a well-tailored blue suit and took me to a Michelin-starred restaurant on our first date. He was funny, really good-looking and super thoughtful (after our first date, he made dinner reservations for my birthday, which was a month away, for three consecutive days in hopes that I’d be around for one of them so he could take me out). In other words, he seemed pretty perfect. [Editor’s Note: This guy also seems pretty intense.]
One date became two, then three. Eventually, we went from “dating” to “seeing each other” and the first time I visited his place, which looked straight out of a West Elm catalog, I realized that this picture-perfect man had one tragic flaw.
Inside his desirably-located apartment and perfectly-curated life, there was no a place for the scruffy love of my life, my mini schnauzer Isabelle. The guy just didn’t love dogs. He tolerated my pup at best, but I couldn’t picture him ever dog sitting when I was called out of town or even walking my dog (could his manicured fingers even bag dog poop? I don’t know. I never found out.). As a dog mom, Isabelle is the center of my world and inevitably things ended. He’s got a new girlfriend now, one he jetsets around the world with (we’re friends on Instagram, I know what’s up) and I’ve got Netflix, Seamless and my pup. And you know what? That’s just fine by me.
Another coworker shares a story that has earned her the nickname Must Love Fluffy Dogs around the office:
I was seeing this guy for a few months and was considering calling it off. When I was over at his house I was scrolling through my Instagram feed. I follow, like, 500 fluffy dogs and showed him a photo of my fave that popped up. He responded, “Oh, you like fluffy dogs? I’m more of a greyhound kind of guy.” And just like that, I decided it was over.
See? She really broke up with someone because he didn’t love fluffy dogs! All is fair in love and Insta pup breeds.
A couple weeks after our date, Zayn-ish Rat Guy texted me, “Hey, I ate some kale today… will that win me another date?” (I think a joke referencing the fact that I’m a vegetarian who kind of teared up when he told me he killed rats as a part-time gig). Although the joke was cute enough, unfortunately not even a high fiber, vegan diet could win me back. There are just too many fish in the sea — and a whole ton of them are cuddling dogs/cats in their Tinder profile pics.
Read more stories on Pet + Co!
Welcome to Selfmade Finance School, our new money series with Block Advisors to help small business owners with their tax, bookkeeping, and payroll needs year-round. This week, we explore the tax implications of bringing family members into your business.
The question for today is this: Does hiring your family members make sense for your business? Let me be clear. This is not a piece about whether hiring your family members makes sense for your relationships with those family members. As someone who is part of a family business, I could fill up a lot more than 600 words on my opinions about that. For today's purposes, we focus on whether it makes sense from an overall "good business and tax implication" perspective. As it turns out, there is a decent amount of tax nuance when it comes to employing your family. Let's break it down based on relationship to the employee:
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Spouses Who Are In Business Together
Personally, if I had to be in business with my husband, it would not go well. However, many couples build viable, strong businesses together and I say, good for them! Depending on how you have your business entity structured, it will make a big difference on the tax treatment of you and your spouse working as partners. Because a business jointly owned and operated by a married couple is generally treated as a partnership for Federal tax purposes, the spouses must comply with filing and record keeping requirements imposed on partnerships and their partners. The election to file two Schedule C (Form 1040) forms, (one for each spouse) permits certain married co-owners to avoid filing partnership returns, provided that each spouse separately reports a share of all the businesses' items of income, gain, loss, deduction, and credit. Under the election, both spouses will be subject to self-employment tax and on net earnings from self-employment and receive credit for Social Security earnings.
One Spouse Employs Another
If you have a dynamic where your spouse is an employee of your business, then your spouse's wages are subject to income tax withholding, Social Security and Medicare taxes. If you are self-employed (not a corporation or a partnership), your spouse's pay does not have to be included in your federal unemployment tax account (FUTA) contributions and payments. However, if your business is a corporation or a partnership you must include that spouse's pay in your unemployment tax contribution calculation.
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You Employ Your Child
First, let's be clear. I work in my family business, but I am an adult, so I am treated just like a normal employee. However, if you, for example, run a family restaurant and want to hire your children under 18 to work for you, there are some tax benefits. But first, you should check with your state for rules on how many hours minors can work (in non-agricultural jobs) and reference the Fair Labor Standards Act for information on limitations on the kinds of work children can perform.
"This is an often overlooked or under-utilized strategy. Paying your children for true services they provide in your business can be a powerful tax-saving tool," says Cathi Reed, Block Advisors Regional Director. "If you are a sole-proprietorship or single member LLC, and the child is less than 18 years of age, the business is not required to withhold FICA or payroll taxes. The child can use his or her standard deduction against income you pay."
You Hire Your Parent
Oh dear. If you are brave enough to do this, know that you will need to pay Social Security and Medicare taxes on your parent's wages and make the appropriate withholdings, but you don't have to pay unemployment taxes. Now all you have to do is convince your parent that you are the boss. Have fun with that!
Is Hiring Family Members Worth It For The Tax Benefits?
"There are some positive tax advantages to hiring family members. It's important to treat a family member like any other employee. Hiring your children can result in substantial savings for businesses. Make sure your child has real, age-appropriate work to do and a reasonable pay rate, comparable to other employees. Consult with a Block Advisors small business certified tax pro to ensure that you are complying with all requirements," advises Reed. "Block Advisors, a team within H&R Block, is dedicated to meeting the tax, bookkeeping and payroll needs of small business owners year-round. To start working with the tax experts at Block Advisors, visit blockadvisors.com."
In my opinion, you should not hire a family member solely because of the tax benefits. You should always hire based on whether that person is right for the job and keep in mind how this hire could materially impact your relationship with that person and others in your family. Finally, as I mentioned, make sure you have a tax professional on your team when making these determinations. As you can see, things can get a little tricky!
*All details were sourced from IRS.gov and blockadvisors.com
The opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect those held by Kestra Investment Services, LLC or Kestra Advisory Services, LLC. This is for general information only and is not intended to provide specific investment advice or recommendations for any individual. It is suggested that you consult your financial professional, attorney, or tax advisor with regards to your individual situation. Comments concerning the past performance are not intended to be forward looking and should not be viewed as an indication of future results. Securities offered through Kestra Investment Services, LLC (Kestra IS), member FINRA/SIPC. Investment advisory services offered through Kestra Advisory Services, LLC (Kestra AS), an affiliate of Kestra IS. O'Keeffe Financial Partners and any other entity listed herein is not affiliated with Kestra IS or Kestra AS Investor Disclosures: https://bit.ly/KF-Disclosures