The emotional journey of The Bachelor is almost over, but not before the women tell all. Romance can be wild and wonderful and happy endingscan happen, but for many of these women, it鈥檚 been hell. And it just wouldn鈥檛 be a heartwarming journey to romance if we didn鈥檛 first focus on how dreadful 18 of the 29 women still feel about it. 鈥淭here鈥檚 been a lot of trauma,鈥 Chris Harrison (UGH) says before laughing and saying it鈥檚 time to get serious. Sure, trauma鈥檚 not serious. Let鈥檚 get actually serious, shall we?

Things immediately get heated with Marikh confronting Chelsea about 鈥済lam shaming.鈥 What easily could be a day-long symposium about whether or not 鈥済lam shaming鈥 is real, ends when Chelsea gives Marikh a compact, which is either a peace offering or a really rude send-off, but either way it鈥檚 time to move on, because there are so many terrible things that need to be rehashed. Bekah and Tia argue about Tia鈥檚 assertion that Bekah wasn鈥檛 mature enough or ready for marriage. They kind of resolve this issue with Tia saying that she鈥檚 sorry that Bekah was offended, which is obviously the worst kind of apology.

Next up, it鈥檚 time to pile on Krystal, and everyone鈥檚 ready. But no one is as ready as Caroline. Now, I really don鈥檛 remember Caroline at all, but she is verrrry upset about a lot of things that have gone down. She is particularly enraged that Krystal was so cruel to the other women during the show and in interviews afterward. I鈥檓 struggling so hard to actually remember who Caroline is, but she is ready to burn this whole house down with her anger. Krystal鈥檚 voice then comes up, with multiple women noting a difference between the show and now. Krystal tries to play this off by saying she lost her voice before the show started. Ultimately, she apologizes for her behavior and says that her brother has transitioned out of homelessness, and I really hope she鈥檚 telling the truth here.

Seinne then gets in the hot seat, and boy oh boy did this whole thing peak with Chelsea and Krystal. Seinne gives an empowering statement about how much she wants someone who looks like her to have a fairytale romance. Bekah then takes the seat and continues her confrontation with Tia. They remain at an impasse when Bekah says that Tia shouldn鈥檛 have downplayed her feelings and talked to Arie about her, and Tia says that she would鈥檝e regretted not saying anything. Chris Harrison (UGH) then addresses Bekah鈥檚 missing-person drama, and Bekah chalks it up to having no phone service at a marijuana farm. Get it, girl. Chris calls Bekah鈥檚 mom and lets her know that Bekah will be missing for two weeks in Mexico when she goes on Bachelor in Paradise. That is鈥 wow, a terrible way to announce that and I鈥檓 not even a little surprised, Harrison.

Tia鈥檚 up next, and she鈥檚 still very hurt by her surprise elimination. This doesn鈥檛 get much better when Chris tells her that Arie says he might have made the wrong decision. This is a solid segue into Arie鈥檚 arrival. Tia asks Arie for clarification and he lets her know that he was just further along with Kendall, even though he worried that she was maybe not ready. He also reveals that he never got over Bekah鈥檚 age and couldn鈥檛 see himself with a 22-year-old. Caroline then rather cryptically says that she knows what Arie did and doesn鈥檛 know how he could do that, foreshadowing a very dramatic season finale. But seriously, Caroline, who are you?!?

Arie鈥檚 inquisition ends with Krystal coming to the couch to ask him why he ended things with her so coldly, and he gets back in everyone鈥檚 good graces by letting her have it. He tells her that she treated the other women poorly and he should have kicked her off sooner. They fight again over the ridiculous bowling incident and she complains that he was spending time with other women. 鈥淏ut this is The Bachelor,鈥 he replies. Boom. It was a short fall, but that was a mic drop, Arie. It shouldn鈥檛 be this enjoyable to see someone this humiliated.

After all is said and done, there are two hours to pad here. We get a montage of last season鈥檚 Women Tell All episode, an extended advertisement for a movie called Blockers, and a blooper reel that contains this amazing moment of Bibiana unwilling to stop eating a hamburger to do her interview. Looks like you finally did actually find love, Bibi.

(photos via ABC + ABC/Paul Hebert)