This Graphic Designer’s Travel-Themed Wedding Is EVERYTHING

1. RSVP "no" early

As soon as you receive an invitation, you probably have an idea of whether or not you can or want to attend. Decline ASAP so the host has an opportunity to invite someone else, get a refund on your seat, and plan accordingly. Plus, you don’t want to carry the burden of accepting and dreading the event for weeks. It’s way more emotionally draining, and confusing for the host.

If you do want to attend, but are unsure if you can, check your calendar and let the host know your circumstances. Perhaps your sister is expecting her first baby around the same time as your college roommate’s wedding. Reach out to your friend directly and let them know that you may be able to come, or would like to come, but it’s dependent on another important factor.

Chances are, the host will respect and appreciate your honesty. And remember: for big events like weddings, guests = money, so giving the hosts as much time as possible to make adjustments before their event is imperative.

2. You don't have to explain yourself

This is a bit contradictory to what we just said, but if it’s not an up-in-the-air type of situation, you can just say “no.” Plain and simple. Hosts don’t need a laundry list of reasons you can’t go, and you don’t need to share yours.

3. Declining is *actually* quite respectful

Responding to someone, whether it’s an enthusiastic “yes” or a “no,” is way better than not responding at all – or worse, canceling at the last minute. It shows that you care enough about the person to give them an answer, and that your friendship allows for open communication. With anyone in your life, you should be allowed to ask for what you want, and what you need. If you can’t do this for yourself, do it for Future You.

4. Don't make up excuses

It’s just a no-no. If you fabricate an excuse, it can lead to way worse (and certainly more awkward) situations. For example, if you say you can’t go deep sea fishing this Saturday (when it’s really about not wanting to fish), the person might ask you to go with them another time, evidently putting you on the hook (pun VERY intended) for future excursions.

Alternatively, if you opt for blowing them off and they find out, they’ll probably feel worse and assume your response was personal to them. Whether or not that’s true is besides the point.

Being a bit more honest always goes a long way. Oh, and BTW, refusing an invitation isn’t that deep! Truly. It’s literally fine.

5. How to say "no"

Saying no is all about what you say and how you say it. Aim for a warm, neutral and matter-of-fact tone paired with a short, candid response. Don’t beg for forgiveness (and TBH if you have to do this, they’re probably not a great friend in the first place), give them a vague reason as to why you can’t go, or get defensive if they have questions. Repeat after us: saying no is normal!

BTW – by declining an invite you have to allow others to do the same. So if someone declines an invitation to your birthday party (which we know will be totally amazing), it’s OK.

Becki Owens x Surya Luca Area Rug ($54+)

This vintage-inspired rug in a dusty pink has a distressed look that blends cool and warm earth tones in the most French Country way. Try it in a living room, dining room, or bedroom for a bit of old world romance.

Elsie Green Vintage Plates & Bowls ($69/set of 4)

Threshold French Country Mantle Wood Mirror ($70)

This 36" x 26" mirror is brimming with French Country appeal. Display it on a mantel or over a vintage dresser.

Vintage French Country Cottage Landscape Flower Garden Painting ($6)

This digital print of a vintage French Country painting is a great way to add a natural touch to your home without spending a ton of money.

Life in a French Country House ($55)

Hear it from the source: French tastemaker Cordelia de Castellane shares her inspo for creating the perfect French Country home decor and entertaining.

Small Daisy Floral Tea Tablecloth ($10)

The beauty here is in the simplicity with cheerful daisies embroidered on cotton and linen. Who's ready for tea?

Anthropologie Luxe Linen Blend Pillow ($68+)

These linen-blend pillows with frayed edges add a refined but still rustic coziness to your sofa or bed. So French Country!

PB Decorative French Wine Bottle Riddling Wall Rack ($299)

Threshold Berea Slouchy Lounge Chair with French Seams ($600)

This comfy linen lounge chair with French seams is a great accent your French Country decor. Pair it with modern lighting or sofa to keep it fresh and cool.

Olivia Boho Traditional Beige Purple and Coral Rug ($145)

Boho is very French Country adjacent. This cotton-blend rug with a mix of green, coral and purple colors adds a playful not-too-serious touch to your countryside decor.

Edmund Steel Nightstand ($80)

This vintage-inspired nightstand has a distressed farmhouse feel with an antique French Country look. Keep books and things on the bottom shelf, and a table lamp and plant up top!

Spurling Peel & Stick Toile Wallpaper ($1.17/sq. ft.)

Can we talk about this whole setup? Love this Chateau Toile peel-and-stick wallpaper depicting scenes of the French countryside for one. It makes the perfect accent wall in an otherwise clean, neutral space, which goes to show you can introduce elements of French Country decor in any style in a subtle, elegant, and totally cool way.

West Elm Parlor Sofa ($1,399+)

This elegant sofa has a subtle romantic vibe with sloping armrests and a bench-style seat cushion, and would totally standout in a French Country living room that looks more French than country.

French Connection Versailles Cotton Accent Rug ($50+)

If you're more into moody blues, this 100% cotton and vegetable-dyed rug has the timeless, distressed look we're going for in French Country decor.

Elsie Green Reclaimed Wood Farm Table ($2,695)

OK, not exactly ideal for a beer budget but this farm table made from reclaimed antique fir is the kind of piece you want to look for in an authentically cool French Country room. This one extends from 72" long to 108", thanks to two breadboard extensions. Bring on all the dinner parties!

Scottdale Headboard ($177)

This classic headboard in a modern silver finish makes an impact in your French country bedroom.

Modern Farmhouse Candle Style Chandelier ($100)

Cecelia Upholstered Loveseat ($1,324)

This antique-style loveseat comes in a slew of colors and makes for a cozy spot to lean into your loved ones.

Laurel Foundry Modern Farmhouse Mariella Bench ($145)

Vintage Wildflower Field Wall Art ($56+)

Bring in botanical wildflowers into your home with this print of vintage art that you can order in various sizes.

Looking for more home decor inspo? Sign up for our email newsletter!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

Header image via Elsie Green

As a Power of Women honoree, Mariska was recognized in regards to her work as an advocate for sexual assault survivors. She took the stage and used her platform to discuss rape and assault conviction reversals, shining a light on the recent overturned ruling in Harvey Weinstein's landmark NYC case. Here's what she said:

Today I want to talk about reversing convictions, and more specifically I want to talk to you about how impossible it is to reverse mine. It’s impossible to reverse my conviction that survivors matter. It is impossible to reverse my conviction that what happens to us matters, and that our society must respond to survivors with a more a compassionate, holistically, deeper, and more nuanced understanding of what healing means.

It is impossible to reverse my conviction that after a trauma, survivors can reclaim lives of hope, of possibility, of audacious risk, beautiful intimacy, and glorious, glorious abundant joy. And I stand before you as evidence of that statement.

It is impossible to reverse my conviction that we must listen to survivors as experts on what justice means. It is extraordinary how little their voices are consulted, let alone incorporated, in the process of deciding how to repair harm. Justice is not a one-size-fits-all journey.

It is impossible to reverse my conviction that patriarchal impunity has to end. Patriarchal impunity is when a male-dominated system exempts perpetrators from punishment. Studies show that only 20% of all rape cases in the U.S. are reported to the police, and that between 5 and 0% of all rapes result in a guilty plea or a conviction. So why do 80% of victims not report? Because they're met with a system that grants impunity to perpetrators; a system that blames victims; a system that accepts only those victims who are experienced as "real" rape; a system that completely misunderstands the neurobiology of trauma, which causes behavior in women that doesn't fit the picture of how a "real victim" would act.

Is that change needed that victims should just pull themselves together? Just buck up and report anyway? No. No, it's the system that receives them that needs to change

It is impossible to reverse my conviction — and the conviction of my extraordinary team, The Joyful Heart — that the backlog of untested rape kits can be brought to zero; that the testing of all new kits must be mandated; that we need a statewide kit tracking system; and that survivors have the right to access the status of their kits.

It is impossible to reverse my conviction that grammar — yes, grammar — that we use when we speak about rape must change. In the sentence, "A woman is raped," there's a crime and there's a victim, but there's no perpetrator. Where's the perpetrator? Where is he? Statistically, as we know, most likely he's walking free. He's so free that he doesn't even appear in the language about the crime that he committed. Is that not extraordinary? It's extraordinary that in the very grammar, the perpetrator goes free. Reintroducing perpetrators in the language of rape will make some very unwieldy grammar, but that's the nature of change. It's unwieldy, it's messy, it's uncomfortable, but it's necessary.

Hargitay continued on in her prolific speech to describe that rape shouldn't be considered a "crime of passion" because it's "not simply the next step in the trajectory of his passion" when a man takes a consensual hookup too far and assaults a woman against her will. She stated that it's "an exercise of power," doubling down that the language we use is important.

The speech went on to address that rape is both about power and control, as a "construct" that was "built, and assembled, and reinforced over time." She noted that there are people with these positions of power — and she specifically called out those in the entertainment industry — that could make a difference and aligned themselves to victims and survivors.

After this and some other remarks, Hargitay specifically called out the Weinstein conviction reversal. She said:

I do want to say something about the Harvey Weinstein conviction, specifically about the reason that it was overturned: too many women's voices. Too many women's voices were allowed to speak. Hallelujah! Amen! I can't imagine anything more beautiful than that. The Daily podcast episode talked about how it was so risky for the prosecution to have that many women testify. Risky to let women speak? You're damn right it is!

Too many women speaking brings change. Too many women speaking shakes the establishment. Too many women means we get listened to more, and people might actually hear what we have to say. Look what happened when women started saying just two words, right? Me too — just as an example — a tidal wave of change. Me too.

And then of course, there was the response: the Me Too Movement. The backlash. The examination of whether the changes that have come are lasting, or are even positive. Of course there's a backlash! What did they expect? For women to speak repeatedly, loudly, together, with a purpose — for there to be no backlash? The backlash is evidence of how powerful those voices were, how powerful those voices ARE.

Watch Mariska Hargitay's Full Speech Here

Turns out that your TV heroes really can be your IRL heroes after all. Long live Olivia Benson! Long live Mariska Hargitay!