This Is How Much Millennials Spend to Get the Perfect ‘Gram

“As I went through a very long journey of finding I did have a mental health diagnosis — and then I was misdiagnosed and then I had to go through that — I was blessed to have the resources to do that,” Teefey, who received an ADHD and trauma diagnosis after a 20-year bipolar misdiagnosis, says. “Whenever I started my journey of discovering what mental condition I had…I didn't have anybody to lean into or explain the way I was feeling.”

While these personal experiences helped Teefey better understand mental health, it wasn’t until she produced Netflix’s 2017 series 13 Reasons Whythat she saw just how far the mental health conversation goes. The hit show went viral almost as soon as it aired because of its realistic depiction of mental health and all the aftershocks of trauma.

“After we did 13 Reasons Why and saw the reaction and the need for that support, me and Selena were trying to really figure out what could be next,” Teefey says. “Everybody was releasing things [at] different times. It's like you have to have 12 apps to have a program, and then remember to use them all. So that's when we decided to create a mental fitness ecosystem. So it's all-encompassing, but there's something for everyone.”

“We're not a medicinal company [but] we do have an advisory committee that oversees everything that we do,” Teefey continues. “We're technically not doctors, but we are for everyone when it comes to feelings. Everybody has feelings and they can go to our content hub and just kind of explore that for a while.”

Admittedly, that exploration bit is pretty fun. The articles are inspiring, and the worksheets (which are each created by an expert) are incredibly helpful. Seeing every program, article, and podcast episode feels like an opportunity to start fresh, but once you have all the ideas in front of you, what do you actually do? Teefey recommends journaling, even if it’s just a sentence every day. (She also loves watching journaling videos from Planning Annie: “Anytime I'm feeling sad or like a little unmotivated, I put her on.”)

Journaling every day, even if your entries are short, allows you to track your mood over an extended period of time. If you notice a consistent sadness, for example, it could be a sign it’s time to check in with your doctor. Plus, journaling can help prepare you for the conversations mental health appointments bring up.

“Sometimes if you go into a therapy session and you're not really settled or concrete in who you are and what may be going on, you might go through what I went through, which is being misdiagnosed,” Teefey says. “It's more important for you to know who you are and what you need prior to going in. So you can give that to them instead of them guessing and working around that process with you.”

Establishing a consistent routine can help decrease your stress, whether you’re eating the same breakfast every day, or you stick to a tried and true skincare regimen like Sydney Sweeney’s Cassie does on Euphoria. I immediately thought of this teen drama when Mandy Teefey mentioned how important her 4 a.m. routine is. But while Cassie spends time doing her skincare and makeup, Teefey spends time nurturing her soul.

“If I don't have [that routine], I'm usually really off kilter,” she says. “So I get up at 4 when everyone's still asleep, and I found that time could be about me, and I'm not taking it away from anybody. And so that's really what helped me be more grounded throughout the day.”

I can attest that my own quiet time in the morning is vital for a successful day — as is knowing what my boundaries need to be. Because honestly, boundaries can change daily! Teefey and I both acknowledge we have to stay away from sad music to protect our mental health, and she also recommends staying off social media when you feel your mental health struggling.

“I can go three days without looking at social media and then when I go on there, I start having anxiety because I'm like, ‘Oh my gosh, I haven't liked this person. I haven't even liked our own pictures [for] Wondermind.’ And then I start feeling guilty,” she says. “There's just some kind of [expectation] to do social media and you really don't. Not everybody needs to know everything, you know? There's beauty in privacy.”

Even Selena Gomez admitted at the 2024 Time100 Summit that taking time off Instagram "was the most rewarding gift I gave myself."

The idea of staying off social media is way easier said than done (speaking from first hand experience here). If you feel like you’re drowning in engagement announcements, anxiety-inducing news, and FOMO, Teefey recommends keeping tabs on your reactions to gauge when it’s time to take a serious break.

“If it invokes any emotion that is a negative emotion, I [know] it's not worth being angry about, it's not worth losing sleep about,” she says. “It just feels like there's an unintentional taunting on social media and, ‘Wait a minute, is that about me?’ You don't know this person and then you start running with all this stuff in your mind.”

Like every area of life, social media is all about balance, and if you’re looking to unplug while still staying informed, Mandy Teefey recommends bringing a journal with you when doing your morning news scroll — that way, you can process emotions while keeping tabs on what’s happening. “If anything evokes emotion, I'm meditating during the quiet time,” she says.

Studies have found journaling can help decrease your anxiety, and that it can help you break obsessive thought cycles. And while you’re the only one who can process your thoughts and emotions, it’s important not to isolate yourself from your community — especially when you’re struggling. “You gotta build trust and you gotta build the boundary of who you volunteer [your] help to,” she says.

When it comes to her own daughters, Mandy Teefey knows it’s a process. “You have to work with them and meet them where they're at, and then see the help they need and don't assume [they’re going through] what you went through,” she says. “You've got to really understand them to be able to give that advice.”

In her own life, Mandy Teefey got to experience building that trust first-hand with Selena Gomez! “One time it was very, very cold in California and me and Selena were on the opposite sides of the pool,” she says. “We were in sweats and she says, ‘Do you trust me?’ And I went, ‘Yeah.’ And she goes ‘Okay, if you trust me, on three, we're gonna jump in this ice cold pool.’”

While Teefey wasn’t convinced, she trusted Gomez, and they both ended up in the freezing cold water! Which is both a funny story and a fond memory: “We couldn't get out of the pool because [our clothes were] so heavy. It was madness!”

“There's a lot of things I know my daughters don't tell me and that's their right,” she continues. “It's so sensitive between teenagers — especially teenagers — and their parents. They're going through that phase and they don't want to be around them and they don't wanna tell them things. It's definitely not easy but maybe put some feelers out there and just make sure that they know you're there and make it okay to have these conversations.”

Thanks to all this actionable advice, we know that Mental Health Awareness month isn’t limited to TikTok videos or Instagram posts we can reshare. There are real tips we can use to take care of ourselves — and a place to go when we need a boost.

Watch Our Full Interview With Mandy Teefey Here!

B+C: Why do you think so many of us are overthinking things, especially in the age of modern social media?

Amanda Montell: I decided to title the book The Age of Magical Overthinking because I couldn't help but notice that there just seems to be an inexplicable, excessive [amount of] delulu in the culture despite the fact we're living in the so-called information age. Everything from people with Master's degrees basing their genuine decisions on astrology to, you know, my neighbors opting not to get the Covid vaccine because a TikToker — a like, white girlie with a Bindi — told them it would downgrade their DNA.

Stuff like that didn't seem to check out for me, especially since we're ostensibly living in a time when you can fact check anything with the click of a button. I was like, 'What is going on here,' and as it turns out, what is going on is this innate clash between our innate decision-making shortcuts — the processes by which we always jump to conclusions in order to make quick decisions to make sense of the world enough to survive it. There's a clash between those age old decision-making methods called cognitive biases and the information age in a way that is ending up pretty explosive for society at large...and is causing us a great deal of existential pain.

So, magical thinking — or the idea that our internal thoughts can affect external events — is a human quirk that has been around since the dawn of our species. But I think overthinking is really a product of the modern age or result of this capitalistic pressure to be right about everything under the sun...

B+C: How do you think this is impacting the way we interact with each other?

Amanda Montell: There's a lot going on. We need to interact in person in order to have empathy...to establish the social glue that keeps us from getting into extremely fraud and sometimes violent ideological conflict. I think there's the idea that the internet is causing ideological rifts to widen and I think in a way that's true, but what's more problematic is the fact we are engaging in social discourse in a medium that prevents that empathy from holding us together.

I think almost everyone can relate to the experience of receiving a curt email from a boss or receiving a salty Instagram comment that sends us into fight or flight. We're responding to non-threats — these sort of abstract disagreements or fake problems — that we're projecting panic onto.

B+C: Can you break down the halo effect for our readers?

Amanda Montell: It was so much fun to explore this particular cognitive bias early in the book because I felt like it really would set up the whole thesis of it quite well. Basically the halo effect is this penchant admire one quality in a person — their fashion sense, their intelligence, the way they blend an oat milk latte — and then assume they must be perfect overall. This halo effect connects to the ways ancient humans used to find role models for survival purposes in our communities.

Ages ago, you used to clock someone in your small village with big muscles...and figure, 'Oh they must be a skilled hunter or they've avoided disfigurement from battle. I would love to align myself with this person for survival,' even though you're jumping to conclusions about them. Their big muscles might not necessarily indicate that they're skilled in battle or they're a good hunter, but it's an efficient enough decision to make.

We're not mapping that conclusion jumping onto modern parasocial relationships. We see a pop star whose music we really connect to and assume they must be educated, worldly, nurturing, they're political beliefs align with ours in this particular time when we're losing so much trust in the government...Basically since the Regan era — our first celebrity President — celebrities have really started swerving into other aspects of life (spiritual, political, etc.,)...

Rapid Fire Q&A

B+C: What are some some of the things you're currently obsessing over?

Amanda Montell: That's so funny you asked that because on this new podcast — The Magical Overthinkers — I also am opening every episode by asking 'What's an irrational thought spiral that's living rent-free in your head?'

I am totally overthinking my book tour outfits right now. Speaking of consumerism as like a distracting or numbing exercise, launching a book is very stressful and the one thing that made me feel some sense of relief is just shopping for cute outfits. I've been buying a lot of plaid skirt suits. The vibe is definitely 90s nostalgic, a little dark academia meets cochette.

B+C: If you were to give yourself five days to unplug from social media, how would you spend your time?

Amanda Montell: Great question. You know what? I'm setting up a week like this for myself in May after the book tour stuff dies down. After my last book Cultish came out, I was unwell in the mind. I felt so exposed and so fragile. I was like, 'I need to send myself on some kind of retreat,' so I sent myself on this little solo excursion to the Blue Ridge Mountains of Western North Carolina and it was so healing...I went and lived in an Airstream for a couple of days. I was doing nature walks and lying in a hammock journaling...

The Age of Magical Overthinking

Watch the Full Interview with Amanda Montell:

"Ultimately I could love myself, or I could just be like, 'Here I am,'" Claudia Jessie says. "Most of the time, none of us know what we're really doing anyway. So I think I'm just letting go of any attachment of trying to feel confident."

"You should be confident because everybody loves you," Hannah Dodd counters. "Everybody's obsessed with you! I think, if you surround yourself with the right people as well, like my friends give me confidence, the right people, like your team and you guys."

"'How are you so confident to be so different?' I say at one point to Eloise," Jessica Madsen says. "And when I read that in the script, it was just like [how] I feel about you, and I really mean it...I remember saying it and really feeling like that was 100 percent true from me to you, [Claudia]."

The love is totally reciprocated, and when I ask what the three women would write in their own Lady Whistledown column, Claudia hypes up Jessica's love of music.

"I love music. I love making playlists," Jessica says. "I went through a little stage where Spotify was my everything. I wanted to be a DJ."

"You'd look great as a DJ," Claudia adds. "I don't know your DJ'ing skills yet, but you'd look amazing behind the deck like that."

Hannah adds that they talk a lot about their dogs, and books. "I do love books," Claudia, who just finished Travis Baldree's Legends & Lattes, agrees. "I'm a big reader. Basically I like things that don't mean I have to leave the house. I could talk about the inside of my flat thoroughly. I could write about that, my four walls."

Bridgerton season 3 opens after Eloise's discovery that Lady Whistledown is actually her best friend Penelope Featherington. The middle Bridgerton child has had to keep it a secret all this time, and Claudia Jessie admits she's a good secret keeper, just for a different reason: "I'm good because I forget them immediately," she says.

"I'm like the grave," Jessica Madsen promises.

"I wouldn't say I'm a grave," Hannah Dodd adds. "I just have a group of people that I'm like, 'They don't count.' I will not tell anybody. But like, except for these...one or two very trustworthy people."

In the show, multiple characters' trust in one another is threatened — learning about Penelope's secret identity challenges Eloise's trust in Penelope, and Colin's remarks that he'd never court Pen threaten her trust in him. While we see these relationships evolve in unexpected ways, we also see new sides to characters we thought we knew. Namely, Cresside Cowper.

"Other than, obviously the really sad passing of the Bridgerton dad, Eloise comes from an incredibly sheltered, privileged, happy, nourishing environment where they can all be themselves," Claudia says. "So I think it is really important to see just how different it is [from the Cowper household], cause it also informs us a bit more about how difficult the situation is for Cressida and why she might be colder or a bit closed off."

"[She's] very lonely as well," Jessica adds. "She's got nobody. Not her mum, and definitely not her dad. It's opposite ends of the spectrum."

And while season 3 of Bridgerton is just about to debut, Jessica Madsen, Hannah Dodd, and Claudia Jessie already have dreams for Bridgerton season 4.

"I'd love for Eloise to get political, do you know what I mean?" Claudia says. "I'd love that because there's so much room for Eloise to go there."

"She could be the first Prime Minister!" Jessica chimes in.

"I don't know for Francesca," Hannah says. "I'm so excited to see what the writers come up with. I just hope she steps into herself a little bit more and kind of goes after things that make her happy, and knows that she's deserving of that. But I'm new here. So, like anything they give me, I'm gonna be happy with."

Brit + Co Rapid Fire With The Bridgerton Cast

Brit + Co: We've talked so much about books, what are you all reading?

Claudia Jessie: I just finished a book called Legends & Lattes by Travis Baldree. And it literally says on the cover "Low stakes, high cozy vibes"...It was beautiful. Really comforting. It was like a big hug.

Hannah Dodd: I'm reading Yellowface at the moment, and I just finished Lessons in Chemistry. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo [was] good. And that really took me a while to find another book that filled that hole.

Jessica Madsen: I have Dopamine Nation...I love audio books. So I actually have Viola Davis reading to me every night her autobiography, which is amazing.

B+C: What music is on repeat for you at the moment?

CJ: I'm listening to a band called Say She She. They're like three sexy, beautiful girls doing like funk, disco pop. Beautiful, cool stuff. And they're really, really cool.

HD: I'm less cool and very generic. Beyonce's new album and Ariana Grande's new album, and I'm obsessed with Noah Kahan at the moment as well.

JM: I'm a mixed bag. I've got a lot of different stuff that I love. Yeah, I've, I've been listening to a lot of Fat Freddy's Drop cause they've got a great summer vibe. Two Feet I really enjoy...I like jazz. Disco.

B+C: Bridgerton is our next watch, what's the last thing you binge watched?

CJ:Barry, which I think is the best comedy that's ever been written, ever. I know I'm gonna re-watch it as well cause it's just unbelievable. The amount of respect they show that comedy is so beautiful.

HD: I haven't binged anything in a while, but I'm really excited to watch Ripley. And I think the last thing I binged was One Day as well, which left me heartbroken.

JM: I just binge watched — I say binge gently — Yellowstone, so I want to be a cowgirl now, really badly. I want to live in denim for the rest of my life, in cowboy boots, badly. And then I just I always put Schitt's Creek on. I've watched it 10 times now, which is embarrassing. I love it. We need laughter. We need fun.

B+C: What's on your summer 2024 bucket list?

JM: I would love to get on a beach. I wanna be on a beach for a bit and just feel the sand and the sea.

HD: I'd just like to get through this part of my life, which is quite exciting and new for me and I don't know. I wouldn't say no to a beach either.

CJ: Just a load of iced coffees. That's great when that season comes around, you can have iced coffee. That's like my favorite cause I kid myself into thinking it's not the same amount of caffeine as a hot coffee, so I'm like 'I can have three!' and then I'm rattling.