Sometimes eating your veggies can be a drag so we’re all for creative ways to get your green on. Throwing some veg in a smoothie is a great way to say “heck yeah world, I’m out here living my best damn life!” Also we’ll eat ANYTHING with bacon on it (and if you dip veggies in bacon dip you are BASICALLY eating super healthy like a modern day Jack Lalanne). Still there is such a thing as going too far on the whole veggie integration front.

We’re talking about the abomination that is asparagus water.



Yesterday it was reported that your favorite bougie grocery chain Whole Foods (more like Whole Paycheck am I right???) was selling asparagus water for 6 bucks at their Brentwood, CA location. Marielle Wakim, editor for LA Magazine snapped this pic of the offending water and posted it on Instagram with the caption: “somewhere in LA Whole Foods executives are laughing at us.”

According to Jezebel, the Whole Foods executives in questions yanked the water from the shelves saying that “It was meant to be water with the essence of vegetables and/or mushrooms (similar to bone broth), which is typically made over a long period of time soaking in water.”


You can’t fault WF for trying. We love water with stuff in it! Water is boring and needs some cool fruit or flowers or something to jazz it up, sure — but asparagus???? Back to the drawing board, Whole Foods! Call us when you have chocolate cake where all the fat goes to your boobs.

What weird food would you pay big bucks for? Tell us in the comments!

(h/t Jezebel, photo via @marielle.m.n.o.p)