9 Ways to Convert a First Date into an Even Better Second One

1. Is Our Relationship Moving at the "Right" Pace?

“After moving in together, many couples notice they have doubts about the progression of their relationship," licensed psychotherapist Christine Scott-Hudson says. “Each partner may experience uncertainty about their own or their partner's timing and may suffer if they relate their partner's faster pace to being pushed or their partner's slower pace to feeling unappreciated or undervalued." Once you're sharing a space with your S.O. 24/7, you may be more sensitive than ever to the fact that you're not on the same page about things like engagement, in-laws, children, and more. If you're experiencing doubt about how — and how quickly — your relationship is moving forward, start talking about it with bae ASAP. See if you can recalibrate your expectations and open up communication.

2. How Should We Be Handling Our Finances?

There are plenty of romantic elements about moving in with a partner, but money is also at play… and that's not so romantic. If you and your significant other didn't have an extensive conversation about finances before the move-in actually happened, you may be finding that your new roomie has financial habits that make you feel uncomfortable now that you're sharing bills. Certified mental health professional and relationship expert from Maple Holistics Adina Mahalli suggests seeking outside help when possible for this kind of issue. Sign up for a financial management class together to help put those doubts at ease. If that's not doable for you, try setting up a very clear budget so you can get back on the same page.

3. Can I Handle These Quirks Full-Time?

In the glow of a new relationship, your sweetie's idiosyncrasies may seem more cute than annoying. But when you're dealing with them front and center, day in and day out? Maybe not so much. “Once you move in together, your rose-colored glasses start to wear off and seemingly endearing traits become more irritating and harder to overlook," DatingScout dating expert Celia Schweyer notes. “Living together means you have to experience real life with your partner." Navigating those real-life annoyances while keeping your relationship strong requires communication and compromise, Schweyer says. Speak up (respectfully) about the habits that bother you, and come to the table with suggestions that will allow you and your partner to live in harmony without changing who you are. It's better than bottling up your frustration and becoming resentful.

4. What if We Start To Feel Like Roommates?

If, after living together for a while, you and your S.O. start to feel less like romantic partners and more like, well, roomies, don't panic. It happens. But it may create some doubt. Matchmaker, relationship expert, and Platinum Poire founder Rori Sassoon tells us that roommate syndrome can be solved by putting in some serious mutual work. Both of you will need to step up your game, communicate, and figure out how to get the dynamic back on track.

5. What If My Partner Starts to Hate My Quirks?

Just as you might suddenly doubt your relationship because your significant other's quirks are on display full-time, you may start to get insecure about how they perceive your quirks. “You will become more relaxed in your own home and less willing or able to keep up a show," marriage coach and relationship expertLesli Doares says. “This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it can come as a surprise." Be open-minded about hearing your partner's feedback and don't shy away from trying to improve on some of the habits that cause issues.

Problematic Message: Love is the most exciting when it’s forbidden.

Even if you haven’t seen the romantic comedy, you’ve definitely seen the GIFs: Andrew Lincoln, playing Mark, professing his love for Keira Knightley’s character through handwritten signs, one of which reads the famous line, “To me, you are perfect.” Yes, it’s ultra-romantic — until you look a little closer. “Although we all love an honest display of love, making a play and expressing your love for your best friend’s wife is not a good start for a relationship, on or off screen,” Tcharkhoutian says.

And the most harmful part of these fictional narratives is that they only show a fraction, if any, of the fallout. “This is a toxic dynamic that devalues the dignity of marriage and romanticizes the idea of being in love with someone who is ‘off-limits,’ without portraying the harsh realities of this kind of basis for a relationship,” Tcharkhoutian explains.

Problematic Message: A relationship that began with ulterior motives can become healthy and functional.

There’s no denying that Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey are a dreamy pair, but in this movie, their relationship is a nightmare. Their quick rise to love is certainly entertaining, but the foundation of their relationship makes it impossible to exist outside of fiction.

The two meet as means to prove themselves at their respective jobs, and in true rom-com fashion, their supposedly real feelings take off from there. Tcharkhoutian cautions against this behavior in real life. “This can set up a relationship to be something in which a person is objectified as a vehicle to help you meet your needs, instead of a mutual union and partnership with pure and honest motives of loving each other through thick and thin,” she says.

Lucy and Jack in "While You Were Sleeping"

Problematic Message: Falling in love with the idea of someone can result in a happy ending.

No one can resist a Sandra Bullock romantic comedy, so it’s no surprise this movie is still revered as a classic of the genre. It has all the necessary components: an unrealistic plot (she saves a man’s life, is confused for his fiancée by his family, and then falls in love with his brother while he’s in a coma — like, come on!), a handsome boy-next-door lead and, of course, love. However, much like the relationship in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, the foundation is faulty.

Falling in love with the idea of someone, as Sandra Bullock’s character does, doesn’t equate to falling in love with the actual person, Tcharkhoutian clarifies, and to start a relationship with this basis in real life is ill-advised.

Problematic Message: True love lies in the next adventure, which is far from your hometown and your past relationship.

Who hasn’t dreamt of traveling to a foreign country; staying in a cozy, remote cottage; and falling in love with someone even half as good-looking as Jude Law? Well, there’s a reason it’s a mere fantasy. Tcharkhoutian describes the phenomenon in The Holiday movie as escapism — the idea that you need to escape from your day-to-day life to find true happiness or, in this case, true love.

Although it’s fun to dream, if taken too far, this particular romantic comedy mentality can lead to irrational expectations. “This escapism mentality can create a false belief that international [relationships] are sustainable in the long-term,” Tcharkhoutian remarks. “True healthy relationships survive and thrive in the everyday, mundane routine, not in the exciting international adventure that depends on thrill and distance.”

Which rom-com couples stay together?

However, there are PLENTY of romantic comedy relationships we love! Some of our favorites include Nick and Rachel in Crazy Rich Asians, Matty and Jenna in 13 Going on 30, Harry and Sally in Meg Ryan's When Harry Met Sally, Elle and Emmett in Legally Blonde, and Peter and Lara Jean in To All The Boys I've Loved Before.

Here's How Often You Should Cut Your Hair, According To Professionals

I’ll admit it — it had been eight months since my last haircut. My hair had lost its shape, my layers were nowhere to be found, and my ends were begging for mercy. Life got busy over the last few months and I was neglecting my haircare like never before.

My hairdresser could immediately see that I was beyond due for a cut and said I needed to get more taken off than I was hoping. I was definitely disappointed — I'd been working on growing out my hair for a while now, and it just felt like my hard work had completely gone to waste. He explained that getting consistent haircuts is the key to growing out healthy and strong hair, rather than letting it grow and grow until it eventually breaks. So let's dig into the top three things you can do to avoid this scenario!

1. Just Get The Dang Haircut

Also avoiding a haircut like I was? You might want to schedule one at your nearest salon. Like my stylist said, when you wait too long between trims like I did, you risk your hair becoming heavy, dull, and lifeless. When the hair is dry or even dead, it’s nearly impossible for it to hold a curl or style, essentially collapsing on you and taking on more and more heat damage all the while. I know the pain of spending time on a blowout only for it to fall minutes later — it’s the worst.

According to Jack, getting a haircut every 10-12 weeks is the best time frame or your ends will pay the price. Between blow-drying, curling, straightening, sun, and weather, our ends get dry and start to break without the proper care. Getting consistent haircuts allows hair to bounce back, shine, and perform the way we want in a healthy way.

2. Leave-In Conditioners Are Your Friend

His top piece of advice to keep your hair looking and feeling hydrated between trims? Invest in conditioning treatments. Jack swears by the Olaplex conditioning system, specifically the No 3 Hair Perfector. Made with patented OLAPLEX Bond Building Technology™, this conditioning treatment repairs and prevents damage in as little as three minutes. No 3 promises to reduce breakage and visibly strengthen hair, so it’s the perfect assistance to keep ends fresh between cuts. Another conditioning treatments I’ve used and loved for years is the Moroccanoil Intense Hydrating Mask, which is designed to restore moisture, elasticity, and shine to dry hair.

3. Switch Up Your Shampoos

Switching shampoos frequently is a pretty hot tip that I honestly hadn't thought of. Our hair gets used to the same products and grows tired of them, resulting in lackluster locks. Jack’s advice is to switch brands after finishing every bottle of shampoo to bring life back to your hair. Have two brands that you’re loyal to? Even switching back and forth between them after every bottle should make a big difference in your hair. I’m a huge fan of the R+Co Dallas Biotin Thickening Shampoo, which makes my hair look thick and full, as well as the Moroccanoil Hydrating Shampoo, which is so hydrating and gives so much shine.

In the end, navigating your back-and-forth relationship with haircuts often feels like a rollercoaster ride between wanting that fresh look and cringing at the receipt. Luckily, by using conditioning treatments and switching up your products,, you can keep your locks healthy, shiny, and full of life between trims. But take a newly learned lesson out of my book: don't let your ends pay the price for procrastination and just book the haircut.