5 Conversation Tips to Make a First Date Less Awkward

1. Is Our Relationship Moving at the "Right" Pace?

“After moving in together, many couples notice they have doubts about the progression of their relationship," licensed psychotherapist Christine Scott-Hudson says. “Each partner may experience uncertainty about their own or their partner's timing and may suffer if they relate their partner's faster pace to being pushed or their partner's slower pace to feeling unappreciated or undervalued." Once you're sharing a space with your S.O. 24/7, you may be more sensitive than ever to the fact that you're not on the same page about things like engagement, in-laws, children, and more. If you're experiencing doubt about how — and how quickly — your relationship is moving forward, start talking about it with bae ASAP. See if you can recalibrate your expectations and open up communication.

2. How Should We Be Handling Our Finances?

There are plenty of romantic elements about moving in with a partner, but money is also at play… and that's not so romantic. If you and your significant other didn't have an extensive conversation about finances before the move-in actually happened, you may be finding that your new roomie has financial habits that make you feel uncomfortable now that you're sharing bills. Certified mental health professional and relationship expert from Maple Holistics Adina Mahalli suggests seeking outside help when possible for this kind of issue. Sign up for a financial management class together to help put those doubts at ease. If that's not doable for you, try setting up a very clear budget so you can get back on the same page.

3. Can I Handle These Quirks Full-Time?

In the glow of a new relationship, your sweetie's idiosyncrasies may seem more cute than annoying. But when you're dealing with them front and center, day in and day out? Maybe not so much. “Once you move in together, your rose-colored glasses start to wear off and seemingly endearing traits become more irritating and harder to overlook," DatingScout dating expert Celia Schweyer notes. “Living together means you have to experience real life with your partner." Navigating those real-life annoyances while keeping your relationship strong requires communication and compromise, Schweyer says. Speak up (respectfully) about the habits that bother you, and come to the table with suggestions that will allow you and your partner to live in harmony without changing who you are. It's better than bottling up your frustration and becoming resentful.

4. What if We Start To Feel Like Roommates?

If, after living together for a while, you and your S.O. start to feel less like romantic partners and more like, well, roomies, don't panic. It happens. But it may create some doubt. Matchmaker, relationship expert, and Platinum Poire founder Rori Sassoon tells us that roommate syndrome can be solved by putting in some serious mutual work. Both of you will need to step up your game, communicate, and figure out how to get the dynamic back on track.

5. What If My Partner Starts to Hate My Quirks?

Just as you might suddenly doubt your relationship because your significant other's quirks are on display full-time, you may start to get insecure about how they perceive your quirks. “You will become more relaxed in your own home and less willing or able to keep up a show," marriage coach and relationship expertLesli Doares says. “This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it can come as a surprise." Be open-minded about hearing your partner's feedback and don't shy away from trying to improve on some of the habits that cause issues.

Problematic Message: Love is the most exciting when it’s forbidden.

Even if you haven’t seen the romantic comedy, you’ve definitely seen the GIFs: Andrew Lincoln, playing Mark, professing his love for Keira Knightley’s character through handwritten signs, one of which reads the famous line, “To me, you are perfect.” Yes, it’s ultra-romantic — until you look a little closer. “Although we all love an honest display of love, making a play and expressing your love for your best friend’s wife is not a good start for a relationship, on or off screen,” Tcharkhoutian says.

And the most harmful part of these fictional narratives is that they only show a fraction, if any, of the fallout. “This is a toxic dynamic that devalues the dignity of marriage and romanticizes the idea of being in love with someone who is ‘off-limits,’ without portraying the harsh realities of this kind of basis for a relationship,” Tcharkhoutian explains.

Problematic Message: A relationship that began with ulterior motives can become healthy and functional.

There’s no denying that Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey are a dreamy pair, but in this movie, their relationship is a nightmare. Their quick rise to love is certainly entertaining, but the foundation of their relationship makes it impossible to exist outside of fiction.

The two meet as means to prove themselves at their respective jobs, and in true rom-com fashion, their supposedly real feelings take off from there. Tcharkhoutian cautions against this behavior in real life. “This can set up a relationship to be something in which a person is objectified as a vehicle to help you meet your needs, instead of a mutual union and partnership with pure and honest motives of loving each other through thick and thin,” she says.

Lucy and Jack in "While You Were Sleeping"

Problematic Message: Falling in love with the idea of someone can result in a happy ending.

No one can resist a Sandra Bullock romantic comedy, so it’s no surprise this movie is still revered as a classic of the genre. It has all the necessary components: an unrealistic plot (she saves a man’s life, is confused for his fiancée by his family, and then falls in love with his brother while he’s in a coma — like, come on!), a handsome boy-next-door lead and, of course, love. However, much like the relationship in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, the foundation is faulty.

Falling in love with the idea of someone, as Sandra Bullock’s character does, doesn’t equate to falling in love with the actual person, Tcharkhoutian clarifies, and to start a relationship with this basis in real life is ill-advised.

Problematic Message: True love lies in the next adventure, which is far from your hometown and your past relationship.

Who hasn’t dreamt of traveling to a foreign country; staying in a cozy, remote cottage; and falling in love with someone even half as good-looking as Jude Law? Well, there’s a reason it’s a mere fantasy. Tcharkhoutian describes the phenomenon in The Holiday movie as escapism — the idea that you need to escape from your day-to-day life to find true happiness or, in this case, true love.

Although it’s fun to dream, if taken too far, this particular romantic comedy mentality can lead to irrational expectations. “This escapism mentality can create a false belief that international [relationships] are sustainable in the long-term,” Tcharkhoutian remarks. “True healthy relationships survive and thrive in the everyday, mundane routine, not in the exciting international adventure that depends on thrill and distance.”

Which rom-com couples stay together?

However, there are PLENTY of romantic comedy relationships we love! Some of our favorites include Nick and Rachel in Crazy Rich Asians, Matty and Jenna in 13 Going on 30, Harry and Sally in Meg Ryan's When Harry Met Sally, Elle and Emmett in Legally Blonde, and Peter and Lara Jean in To All The Boys I've Loved Before.

New Balance 9060: The ‘Fit Flexer

If you just can’t resist dressing to the nines every single day, the New Balance 9060s will fit right into your fashionista flair.

These “proudly futuristic” New Balance sneakers deliver on Y2K aesthetics beyond compare. The wider base is reminiscent of Nike Shox – very tech-y and otherworldly. The upper part is made from mesh and suede, supplying a super elevated vibe.

The white and cream white coloration is so easy to pair with most every ‘fit. They’ll match with cargo pants, vintage jeans, or even mini skirts and denim shorts.

Reviewers of the New Balance 9060 are glad they invested in this $150 shoe because it's so versatile.

One reviewer toted the 9060’s for fitting into “all aspects” of their lifestyle. Another said that the arch supports “unreal,” so though they’re more fashion-forward than other New Balance kicks, they’re still uber-comfortable for a range of activities.

New Balance 990: The Thrift Shopper

The New Balance 990s are straight-up dad sneakers to the core, so if you gravitate towards the thrift store (or all things vintage-y), you’ll find that they go swimmingly with most outfits and will stand up to long thrift trips.

While they were originally manufactured for running (and they still are), the 990s scream streetwear to me. They appear more elevated than your average athletic running shoe, thanks to the smooth pigskin and fine mesh.

The inside is fitted with a bouncy FuelCell midsole cushioning, and the shoe is available in 4 different widths. The range!

The New Balance 990s are very similar to the New Balance 993s, which is less performance-based.

New Balance 574 Core: The Weekend Warrior

Whether you're hitting the club or the farmer’s market on the weekends, you want to be comfortable (I mean, who doesn't?). The New Balance 574 Cores are made for the weekend warriors.

New Balance describes this signature shoe as “uncomplicated, rugged, durable, and comfortable.”

Though the 574s are pretty basic, they’re earned themselves icon status. You’re sure to see at least one pair when you go out.

The outer layer is made from suede and mesh materials dotted with 100% recycled polyester details.

New Balance 550: The Sneakerhead

These New Balance sneakers aren’t just black and white. They’re “sea salt” with “gray matter” and “magnet.” So yeah, if you consider yourself overly particular about your sneakers, the New Balance 550s are the shoe for you.

These were revived from the late 80’s and early 90’s then re-released full-time in 2021, and they’ve been a modern fan-favorite ever since.

The flatter soles on these sneaks mean they’re not as practical for running or walking long distances, but since they have a history with basketball, you might be able to rock ‘em on the court. More than anything, they definitely give basketball vibes, which is perfect for any streetwear ensemble.

The mixed materials and chunky approach to the classic New Balance logo give these an unmistakable air.

According to New Balance, these best fit people with an average arch height. The thick sole and cushy ankle padding work the hardest to support your feet, rather than an arched insole.

New Balance 530: The Gym-Goer

The New Balance 530s are giving Erewhon baddie. They’re giving I drink smoothies for breakfast. They’re giving I live and breathe pilates.

The stark white colorway of these sneakers reminds me of the clean girl aesthetic, and they’re so pretty, you may have a hard time getting them dirty.

New Balance Fresh Foam: The 10K Steps A Day-er

For the more athletic among us (hello, hot girl walks!), the New Balance Fresh Foam sneakers are the way to go. They’re designed especially for walking and running, so you can count on them to be comfy.

They have an extra-soft cushioning for a cozy step, and every aspect of the footbed is intended to stabilize the foot.

This shoe especially supports walkers or runners with the tendency to step heel first, a bonus co-signed by the American Podiatric Medical Association – this pair received their Seal of Acceptance.

The upper part of the shoe is made of mesh, so it’s highly breathable, even on hot days. They’re great for high arches, too!