8 Convos You *Need* to Have With Your Partner Before You Have a Baby

1. Is Our Relationship Moving at the "Right" Pace?

“After moving in together, many couples notice they have doubts about the progression of their relationship," licensed psychotherapist Christine Scott-Hudson says. “Each partner may experience uncertainty about their own or their partner's timing and may suffer if they relate their partner's faster pace to being pushed or their partner's slower pace to feeling unappreciated or undervalued." Once you're sharing a space with your S.O. 24/7, you may be more sensitive than ever to the fact that you're not on the same page about things like engagement, in-laws, children, and more. If you're experiencing doubt about how — and how quickly — your relationship is moving forward, start talking about it with bae ASAP. See if you can recalibrate your expectations and open up communication.

2. How Should We Be Handling Our Finances?

There are plenty of romantic elements about moving in with a partner, but money is also at play… and that's not so romantic. If you and your significant other didn't have an extensive conversation about finances before the move-in actually happened, you may be finding that your new roomie has financial habits that make you feel uncomfortable now that you're sharing bills. Certified mental health professional and relationship expert from Maple Holistics Adina Mahalli suggests seeking outside help when possible for this kind of issue. Sign up for a financial management class together to help put those doubts at ease. If that's not doable for you, try setting up a very clear budget so you can get back on the same page.

3. Can I Handle These Quirks Full-Time?

In the glow of a new relationship, your sweetie's idiosyncrasies may seem more cute than annoying. But when you're dealing with them front and center, day in and day out? Maybe not so much. “Once you move in together, your rose-colored glasses start to wear off and seemingly endearing traits become more irritating and harder to overlook," DatingScout dating expert Celia Schweyer notes. “Living together means you have to experience real life with your partner." Navigating those real-life annoyances while keeping your relationship strong requires communication and compromise, Schweyer says. Speak up (respectfully) about the habits that bother you, and come to the table with suggestions that will allow you and your partner to live in harmony without changing who you are. It's better than bottling up your frustration and becoming resentful.

4. What if We Start To Feel Like Roommates?

If, after living together for a while, you and your S.O. start to feel less like romantic partners and more like, well, roomies, don't panic. It happens. But it may create some doubt. Matchmaker, relationship expert, and Platinum Poire founder Rori Sassoon tells us that roommate syndrome can be solved by putting in some serious mutual work. Both of you will need to step up your game, communicate, and figure out how to get the dynamic back on track.

5. What If My Partner Starts to Hate My Quirks?

Just as you might suddenly doubt your relationship because your significant other's quirks are on display full-time, you may start to get insecure about how they perceive your quirks. “You will become more relaxed in your own home and less willing or able to keep up a show," marriage coach and relationship expertLesli Doares says. “This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it can come as a surprise." Be open-minded about hearing your partner's feedback and don't shy away from trying to improve on some of the habits that cause issues.

Problematic Message: Love is the most exciting when it’s forbidden.

Even if you haven’t seen the romantic comedy, you’ve definitely seen the GIFs: Andrew Lincoln, playing Mark, professing his love for Keira Knightley’s character through handwritten signs, one of which reads the famous line, “To me, you are perfect.” Yes, it’s ultra-romantic — until you look a little closer. “Although we all love an honest display of love, making a play and expressing your love for your best friend’s wife is not a good start for a relationship, on or off screen,” Tcharkhoutian says.

And the most harmful part of these fictional narratives is that they only show a fraction, if any, of the fallout. “This is a toxic dynamic that devalues the dignity of marriage and romanticizes the idea of being in love with someone who is ‘off-limits,’ without portraying the harsh realities of this kind of basis for a relationship,” Tcharkhoutian explains.

Problematic Message: A relationship that began with ulterior motives can become healthy and functional.

There’s no denying that Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey are a dreamy pair, but in this movie, their relationship is a nightmare. Their quick rise to love is certainly entertaining, but the foundation of their relationship makes it impossible to exist outside of fiction.

The two meet as means to prove themselves at their respective jobs, and in true rom-com fashion, their supposedly real feelings take off from there. Tcharkhoutian cautions against this behavior in real life. “This can set up a relationship to be something in which a person is objectified as a vehicle to help you meet your needs, instead of a mutual union and partnership with pure and honest motives of loving each other through thick and thin,” she says.

Lucy and Jack in "While You Were Sleeping"

Problematic Message: Falling in love with the idea of someone can result in a happy ending.

No one can resist a Sandra Bullock romantic comedy, so it’s no surprise this movie is still revered as a classic of the genre. It has all the necessary components: an unrealistic plot (she saves a man’s life, is confused for his fiancée by his family, and then falls in love with his brother while he’s in a coma — like, come on!), a handsome boy-next-door lead and, of course, love. However, much like the relationship in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, the foundation is faulty.

Falling in love with the idea of someone, as Sandra Bullock’s character does, doesn’t equate to falling in love with the actual person, Tcharkhoutian clarifies, and to start a relationship with this basis in real life is ill-advised.

Problematic Message: True love lies in the next adventure, which is far from your hometown and your past relationship.

Who hasn’t dreamt of traveling to a foreign country; staying in a cozy, remote cottage; and falling in love with someone even half as good-looking as Jude Law? Well, there’s a reason it’s a mere fantasy. Tcharkhoutian describes the phenomenon in The Holiday movie as escapism — the idea that you need to escape from your day-to-day life to find true happiness or, in this case, true love.

Although it’s fun to dream, if taken too far, this particular romantic comedy mentality can lead to irrational expectations. “This escapism mentality can create a false belief that international [relationships] are sustainable in the long-term,” Tcharkhoutian remarks. “True healthy relationships survive and thrive in the everyday, mundane routine, not in the exciting international adventure that depends on thrill and distance.”

Which rom-com couples stay together?

However, there are PLENTY of romantic comedy relationships we love! Some of our favorites include Nick and Rachel in Crazy Rich Asians, Matty and Jenna in 13 Going on 30, Harry and Sally in Meg Ryan's When Harry Met Sally, Elle and Emmett in Legally Blonde, and Peter and Lara Jean in To All The Boys I've Loved Before.

Gold Hinge Steel Pleated Tennis Skirt

Pleats are a quintessential part of tenniscore. Super-fine pleats (like the ones on this skort from Gold Hinge) are totally the way to go if you wanna nail the trend. This pick features stretchy spandex shorts underneath for added coverage, pockets on both sides, quick-dry fabric, and an adorable drop-waist detail to further flatter your figure.

The Pleated Tennis Skirt goes for $49. It is available in 21 different colors and sizes XS-XXL.

Free People Movement One More Serve Skortsie

What's better than a skort? A skort dress. This one from Free People is an absolute serve, boasting a playful strappy back and contrasting trim that'll have all eyes on you! The built-in shelf bra and shorts deem this tenniscore piece a true one-and-done since you won't need to layer anything underneath.

The One More Serve Skortsie comes in 9 colors and sizes XS-XL for $128.

Lou & Grey Sporty Mesh Zip Sweater

This luxe-looking $48 sweater recalls the sport with a fine mesh knit, cap sleeves, and a pointy collar that zips up. The stark white color is tenniscore's perfect match, as a lot of the aesthetic leans into opulence, and therefore, cleanliness. The wider waistband can be worn tucked in or outside of skirts or shorts, depending on your preference.

This Lou & Grey Sporty Mesh Zip Sweater is on sale for $48 (was $80) and is available in sizes XXS-XXL.

Golden Hour Santa Barbara Tennis Association Cotton Graphic Baby Tee

If you're a bit unsure about going full-out into tenniscore with a short pleated skirt, ease into the aesthetic by sporting something more subtle, like this graphic baby tee! The illustrative lettering on the front feels opulent as ever, even though this is a super-cozy and casual style you could wear every single day.

This tee is currently on sale at Nordstrom for $10 (was $24) and is shoppable in sizes XS-XL.

Abercrombie & Fitch YPB sculptLUX Polo Mini Dress

The polo collar! The zipper! The sporty material! This butter yellow dress from Abercrombie & Fitch has it all. It's crafted from their sculptLUX active fabric, which is designed to hold you in and sculpt your bod in the best ways. The half-zip detail along the neckline allows you to get a lil' cheeky with your look, too. This mini features built-in shorts so you can feel appropriately covered up when you're on the go.

The Polo Mini Dress is available in three other easy-to-match colors and sizes XXS-XXL for $80.

Adidas Gazelle Sneakers

Any tenniscore 'fit absolutely warrants a sporty sneaker to match, and the Adidas Gazelles answer that call to a tee. The flat soles echo that of technical tennis shoes that the pros wear, while the rest of the silhouette aligns with the modern shoe trends we're seeing today. The triple-striped design on the sides is undeniably iconic, too!

The Adidas Gazelle sneakers come in 16 other color combos for $120.

Venus Williams x Bombas Quarter Sock 3-Pack

You'll surely need some socks to pair with your tenniscore-approved shoes, and there's no question that these Bombas ones made in collaboration with *the* Venus Williams are the ones to snag! Venus employed her pro-level understanding of the sport to create these practical socks that boast strategic cushioning, arch support, and a sweat-wicking material to leave you with a cozy step – on and off the court.

This 3-pack of socks goes for $57 and is currently available in sizes S and M.

H&M Oversized Sports Sweatshirt

For the perfect sporty outer layer to work, it needs to breathe. Luckily, this oversized pullover from H&M boasts a fast-drying cotton fabrication that surrounds the entire look. Casual dropped shoulders and long cuffed sleeves add to the laid-back vibe of tenniscore, and the front even boasts a motivational message – "move" – to keep you going!

The Oversized Sports Sweatshirt is shoppable in 4 other colors and sizes XS-XXL for $35.

Gold Hinge Bone 2-Toned Tiered Pleated Tennis Skirt

This tennis skirt is uniquely designed with a more scalloped hem –rather than a straight one – which provides ample coverage for your every move! The two-toned colorway adds some visual interest without feeling too out-of-place, plus this pick has built-in spandex shorts with pockets for conveniently storing your phone and other courtside essentials.

The Tiered Pleated Tennis Skirt is $54 and shoppable in sizes XS-XXL.

Prince Pickleball Cable Knit Cardigan

Target recently collaborated with Prince for a very tenniscore fashion collection, and it's everything! This cable knit cardi is a definite staple for rocking the sporty trend on chilly days. The buttoned front allows you to wear this cropped cardigan buttoned up or unbuttoned, or you could tie this striped baby around your shoulders for a true touch of luxury! The blue and red stripes are so classic, too.

The Prince Pickleball Cable Knit Cardigan comes in sizes XS-XXL for $40.

Kate Spade New York Sweetheart Delicate Cubic Zirconia Tennis Bracelet

I love a tennis bracelet as much as the next person, but I don't always love how expensive they are. Luckily, this gold-plated design from Kate Spade is fairly priced at $128, and it has adorable little hearts instead of the classic square cut. It clasps easily around the wrist with a tongue-and-groove closure, so it'll stay on when you're out and about (or even making moves on the tennis court)!

Adidas Originals Cotton Blend French Terry Shorts

These terry shorts host a very vintage feel, which pairs excellently well with more nostalgic tenniscore pieces, like a polo tank or sweater vest! The Adidas logo and side stripes really seal the deal on the sheer sportiness of these bottoms as well. The elastic waistband hits high on the body, securing further with a drawstring.

The Adidas Originals Cotton Blend French Terry Shorts go for $45 at Nordstrom and are available in sizes XS-XL.

Athleta Momentum Seamless Polo Tank

This Athleta polo tank is clean, sleek, and summery – perfect for nailing down the more luxe side of tenniscore! It flaunts a seamless construction to ensure total comfort when you're wearing it. The silhouette is designed to fit snugly against your body, though take note that the fabric is fairly see-through. You'll likely need a racerback sports bra for extra coverage and support!

The Momentum Seamless Polo Tank costs $55 and is shoppable in sizes XXS-XL.

Prince Pickleball Cross-Back Pleated Dress

The contrasting white lining that adorns this sporty dress looks just like the lines on a tennis court. Your look will be a great match for, well, your next match! This wide-pleated, strappy-back mini is an easy 'pull on and go' type piece that'll look stunning for every outdoor occasion. It even comes in a bright red color that your doubles partner could twin in!

The Prince Pickleball Cross-Back Pleated Dress is available in sizes XS-XXL for $40.

Prince Pickleball Woven Mid-Rise Shorts

These mid-rise shorts feel oh-so 70's, and I am obsessed with the stark color blocking between the hem and the rest of the piece. They're an easy on-and-off, boasting a wide elastic waistband. They're made from a "sporty tech poplin" that emphasizes the utmost breathability.

The Prince Pickleball Woven Mid-Rise Shorts cost $30 and come in sizes XS-XXL.

Oomiay Tennis Huggie Earring

Turn your accessory game to total tenniscore with this sweet racket earring! The tiny charm dangles delicately from a snapping hoop, helping you step up your serve even more. This $55 piece is sold in one piece (as opposed to a pair, with two pieces), but when you bundle 3 or more Oomiay jewelry pieces, each one is just $33.

Girlfriend Collective Riley Sweetheart Dress

The compressive unitard lining under this athletic mini dress keeps your look collected and expertly sculpted, no matter what movements you're doing. The sweetheart neckline and strappy back elevate it to be more fashion-forward, so you could easily dress it up further with more formal outerwear and accessories.

The Girlfriend Collective Riley Sweetheart Dress comes in 5 colors total and sizes XXS-6XL for $88.