How to Tell When Self-Care Is Doing You More Harm Than Good

Kathryn Watson
Nov 27, 2017

“Self-care” has caught on as the buzzy new term for activities that draw focus to our own well-being. When we fail to respond to our own needs, we become anxious, overtired, and in desperate need of reconnecting with a safe space in the world. As the importance of mindfulness becomes more apparent, it makes sense that a term like “self-care” resonates with so many. But according to some health and wellness professionals, what we refer to as self-care can take the form of procrastination, conflict avoidance, and risk aversion — indulgent tendencies that can limit our success and happiness in the long term. So is it ever possible to have too much self-care? And how do we tell the difference between self-indulgence and real self-care? We asked the experts to weigh in.

good self-care will fulfill a healthy intention

Good self-care is all about the intention behind the action. When the action we take distracts from the intended outcome, what we’re doing isn’t self-care anymore. “There are two clear ways in which self-care can have the opposite of its intended effect and cause harm instead of good,” Natasha Boote, a holistic wellness coach and yoga instructor, explains. “The first is when self-care becomes an excuse. In situations like these, the idea of self-care is used as a tool by which to indulge in the things we want to do or to avoid other necessary activities.” Boote cites drinking an entire bottle of wine on a weeknight because you’re stressed as a perfect example. “Overindulging in anything, but especially alcohol, can rarely be seen as a form of [authentic] self-care because it has detrimental effects on your physical health.”

Boote continues, “The second way that self-care can cause more harm than good is by adding, instead of detracting, from stress. It’s easy to think that you’re not doing something right if you don’t meditate, take a salt bath every night, do yoga, meal prep for the entire week, go to bed at 9pm, attend SoulCycle every day, paint a clay mask on your face, and write down 10 reasons you’re grateful each night before bed. Through this lens, self-care is its own full-time job… Self- care isn’t something to achieve.” In other words, if the idea of cramming enough “self-care” into our daily rituals is stressing us out, we’re missing the point.

good self-care will embrace your reality

Julie Burton, a wellness writer and founder of a Minneapolis writing and wellness coworking space, points out that healthy self-care won’t feel like a punishment or a ritual to endure as a means to an ego-centric end. Burton says, “Self-care is not avoidance. It is not escaping a tough relationship, demanding job, or difficult children by ignoring those challenges and turning to shopping, drinking, eating, pills, or sex.” And if we’re using methods we typically see as “self-care” — like a long bath, a mani-pedi, or a soothing massage — as a form of escapism, we’ve lost the plot again. It can become especially tempting to think that we need these pampering rituals to make ourselves feel cared for, even if we have to go into debt or skip bill payments to afford to do them.

“Self-care is facing your reality and believing in yourself and your ability to handle what is on your plate,” Burton affirms. That means that healthy self-care is going to look different at different points of your life, depending on our financial and family situation. And on the flip side, it’s important to remember that budget-friendly “self-care” options (such as reading a guilty pleasure novel you’ve borrowed from the library or skipping that pricy barre workout for a YouTube tutorial at home) can connect us to ourselves just as effectively as luxury self-care experiences.

Good Self-Care Will Result in Feeling Balanced

Research is beginning to understand the effect that social isolation and technology has on millennials’ tendency to feel anxiety. That means that when we’re practicing self-care the right way, we’re finding ways to set boundaries in our relationships but we aren’t isolating ourselves indefinitely. If our definition of “self-care” means sitting out every social interaction, we’re doing ourselves a disservice (yes, even the introverts among us).

Dr. Lauren Appio, a psychiatrist who practices out of Manhattan, put it this way: “We’re doing self-care well when we choose self-care activities that leave us feeling restored. Spending time with people who care about us, for example, not only relaxes us but may help us feel more capable as we face the stresses of our lives.” If a midnight-TV binge leaves us bleary-eyed and less likely to engage with others, we might just be creating situations that will make our circumstances feel more stressful, and our bodies less cared for.

But the point isn’t that self-care shouldn’t feel good. Crafting, gardening, and even home organization can be healthy self-care if our enjoyment of the activity is the process and not the outcome. “Self-care activities that get us in touch with our creativity and sense of playfulness also reduce feelings of fear and dread,” according to Dr. Appio. Whatever form self-maintenance takes, the action will ideally be something we can repeat and build into a ritual. A habitual process that focuses on our state of mind and well-being opens up space to decompress and access the way we feel. It can also serve a function similar to meditation, connecting us to the world around us. While the simple habit of brushing our teeth and washing our faces might not strike us as something to look forward to, little moments like that are the foundation of real self-care.

Establishing self-care routines can keep us grounded, content, and compassionate toward others. But learning to recognize self-care habits that aren’t serving us well — and discarding them accordingly — is equally important. There’s nothing wrong with a splurge now and then, but call it what it is. Boote says that drawing these distinctions is just the next step in realizing our needs and desires. She concludes, “Be honest with yourself and ask the real question: Is this assisting me to better myself and reenter a state of balance? If yes, proceed; if no, just know that you’re using the concept of self-care to self-serve.”

How do you engage in self-care? Let us know on Twitter @BritandCo!

(Photo via Getty)

Mandy Teefey’s Go-To Hack Will Make Social Media Suck Less

We all have big feelings. And thanks to social media and rising levels of anxiety, those feelings, well, feel bigger than ever. That’s exactly where resources like Wondermind come in. The self-proclaimed “mental health ecosystem” is all about exploring, discussing, and navigating our emotions together. This Mental Health Awareness Month, Wondermind wants you to live your mental health journey in community because Mandy Teefey, who co-founded the company with daughter Selena Gomez, knows what it’s like to walk that journey alone.

Image via Wondermind

“As I went through a very long journey of finding I did have a mental health diagnosis — and then I was misdiagnosed and then I had to go through that — I was blessed to have the resources to do that,” Teefey, who received an ADHD and trauma diagnosis after a 20-year bipolar misdiagnosis, says. “Whenever I started my journey of discovering what mental condition I had…I didn't have anybody to lean into or explain the way I was feeling.”

While these personal experiences helped Teefey better understand mental health, it wasn’t until she produced Netflix’s 2017 series 13 Reasons Whythat she saw just how far the mental health conversation goes. The hit show went viral almost as soon as it aired because of its realistic depiction of mental health and all the aftershocks of trauma.

“After we did 13 Reasons Why and saw the reaction and the need for that support, me and Selena were trying to really figure out what could be next,” Teefey says. “Everybody was releasing things [at] different times. It's like you have to have 12 apps to have a program, and then remember to use them all. So that's when we decided to create a mental fitness ecosystem. So it's all-encompassing, but there's something for everyone.”

“We're not a medicinal company [but] we do have an advisory committee that oversees everything that we do,” Teefey continues. “We're technically not doctors, but we are for everyone when it comes to feelings. Everybody has feelings and they can go to our content hub and just kind of explore that for a while.”

Image via Brit + Co

Admittedly, that exploration bit is pretty fun. The articles are inspiring, and the worksheets (which are each created by an expert) are incredibly helpful. Seeing every program, article, and podcast episode feels like an opportunity to start fresh, but once you have all the ideas in front of you, what do you actually do? Teefey recommends journaling, even if it’s just a sentence every day. (She also loves watching journaling videos from Planning Annie: “Anytime I'm feeling sad or like a little unmotivated, I put her on.”)

Journaling every day, even if your entries are short, allows you to track your mood over an extended period of time. If you notice a consistent sadness, for example, it could be a sign it’s time to check in with your doctor. Plus, journaling can help prepare you for the conversations mental health appointments bring up.

“Sometimes if you go into a therapy session and you're not really settled or concrete in who you are and what may be going on, you might go through what I went through, which is being misdiagnosed,” Teefey says. “It's more important for you to know who you are and what you need prior to going in. So you can give that to them instead of them guessing and working around that process with you.”

Image via Brit + Co

Establishing a consistent routine can help decrease your stress, whether you’re eating the same breakfast every day, or you stick to a tried and true skincare regimen like Sydney Sweeney’s Cassie does on Euphoria. I immediately thought of this teen drama when Mandy Teefey mentioned how important her 4 a.m. routine is. But while Cassie spends time doing her skincare and makeup, Teefey spends time nurturing her soul.

“If I don't have [that routine], I'm usually really off kilter,” she says. “So I get up at 4 when everyone's still asleep, and I found that time could be about me, and I'm not taking it away from anybody. And so that's really what helped me be more grounded throughout the day.”

I can attest that my own quiet time in the morning is vital for a successful day — as is knowing what my boundaries need to be. Because honestly, boundaries can change daily! Teefey and I both acknowledge we have to stay away from sad music to protect our mental health, and she also recommends staying off social media when you feel your mental health struggling.

“I can go three days without looking at social media and then when I go on there, I start having anxiety because I'm like, ‘Oh my gosh, I haven't liked this person. I haven't even liked our own pictures [for] Wondermind.’ And then I start feeling guilty,” she says. “There's just some kind of [expectation] to do social media and you really don't. Not everybody needs to know everything, you know? There's beauty in privacy.”

Even Selena Gomez admitted at the 2024 Time100 Summit that taking time off Instagram "was the most rewarding gift I gave myself."

Image via Brit + Co

The idea of staying off social media is way easier said than done (speaking from first hand experience here). If you feel like you’re drowning in engagement announcements, anxiety-inducing news, and FOMO, Teefey recommends keeping tabs on your reactions to gauge when it’s time to take a serious break.

“If it invokes any emotion that is a negative emotion, I [know] it's not worth being angry about, it's not worth losing sleep about,” she says. “It just feels like there's an unintentional taunting on social media and, ‘Wait a minute, is that about me?’ You don't know this person and then you start running with all this stuff in your mind.”

Like every area of life, social media is all about balance, and if you’re looking to unplug while still staying informed, Mandy Teefey recommends bringing a journal with you when doing your morning news scroll — that way, you can process emotions while keeping tabs on what’s happening. “If anything evokes emotion, I'm meditating during the quiet time,” she says.

Studies have found journaling can help decrease your anxiety, and that it can help you break obsessive thought cycles. And while you’re the only one who can process your thoughts and emotions, it’s important not to isolate yourself from your community — especially when you’re struggling. “You gotta build trust and you gotta build the boundary of who you volunteer [your] help to,” she says.

When it comes to her own daughters, Mandy Teefey knows it’s a process. “You have to work with them and meet them where they're at, and then see the help they need and don't assume [they’re going through] what you went through,” she says. “You've got to really understand them to be able to give that advice.”

Image via Natalie Rhea

In her own life, Mandy Teefey got to experience building that trust first-hand with Selena Gomez! “One time it was very, very cold in California and me and Selena were on the opposite sides of the pool,” she says. “We were in sweats and she says, ‘Do you trust me?’ And I went, ‘Yeah.’ And she goes ‘Okay, if you trust me, on three, we're gonna jump in this ice cold pool.’”

While Teefey wasn’t convinced, she trusted Gomez, and they both ended up in the freezing cold water! Which is both a funny story and a fond memory: “We couldn't get out of the pool because [our clothes were] so heavy. It was madness!”

“There's a lot of things I know my daughters don't tell me and that's their right,” she continues. “It's so sensitive between teenagers — especially teenagers — and their parents. They're going through that phase and they don't want to be around them and they don't wanna tell them things. It's definitely not easy but maybe put some feelers out there and just make sure that they know you're there and make it okay to have these conversations.”

Thanks to all this actionable advice, we know that Mental Health Awareness month isn’t limited to TikTok videos or Instagram posts we can reshare. There are real tips we can use to take care of ourselves — and a place to go when we need a boost.

Watch Our Full Interview With Mandy Teefey Here!

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Wondermind Co-Founder Mandy Teefey Helps Us Navigate Big Feelings For Mental Health Awareness Month

If you're struggling with your mental health, check in with your doctor or check out the mental health resources Wondermind offers. You can also use Psychology Today to find a therapist near you.

Lead image via Getty

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5 Reasons Ryan Gosling Is The Ultimate Girl Dad

After The Gray Man and a year full of Barbie and Ken, The Fall Guy (plus the upcoming Ocean's 11 prequelwith Margot Robbie) continues to prove Ryan Gosling is THE definition of a star. And between his friendship with Emma Stone and his relationship with Eva Mendes,Ryan seems like the kind of guy we'd all want to be best friends with — and not just because of his endless #Kenergy.

Not only is Ryan the sweetest partner, he's also the ultimate girl dad to daughters Esmeralda and Amada. Their "interest in Barbie and disinterest in Ken," as Ryan tells People, get him to Barbieland in the first place, but he also just revealed they "asked specifically" he avoid one The Fall Guy stunt. “My kids didn't want me to be set on fire,” he says. “Even though I said, ‘Well, it's actually, technically the safer thing to do because there's a lot of protective stuff involved, [they] were like, ‘No. No fire.’ So I didn't do it.”

It's clear that Ryan Gosling's children are spitfires and I love to see it! Here's everything you need to know about Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling's kids — and every single time Ryan Gosling was the ultimate girl dad.

How many children do Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes have?

Image via Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images

Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes have two children, Esmerelda Amada and Amada Lee. Amada was named after Eva's grandmother — both my sister and I have family names and I love seeing the way different families carry on that tradition!

How old are Ryan Gosling's kids?

Image via Daniel Boczarski/Getty Images for Universal Pictures

Esmerelda was born in September 2014, meaning she'll turn 10 this fall. Amada just turned 8 at the end of April!

How does Ryan Gosling prioritize his kids?

Image via Lionsgate

In his recent profile with WSJ, Ryan Gosling revealed he only picks roles that will benefit his whole family. "I don't really take roles that are going to put me in some kind of dark place," Ryan says. "The decisions I make, I make them with Eva and we make them with our family in mind first."

"I think La La Landwas the first," he continues. "It was sort of like, 'Oh this will be fun for them too, because even though they're not coming to set, we're practicing piano every day or we're dancing or we're singing.'"

Every couple needs to figure out what prioritizing their kids looks like for them, and considering how much I love all Ryan's recent roles, I'd say this is a shift that benefits everyone ;).

When did Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes have their daughters?

Image via Andrew Toth/Getty Images for New York & Company

Eva Mendes gave birth to Esmerelda on September 12, 2014 and later had Amada on April 29, 2016.

Are Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes still together?

Image via Sonia Recchia/Getty Images

Yes, Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes are still going strong, and thank goodness. Eva just revealed that Ryan provides a ton of support for her. "When I was 40, it was a big deal for people when I was pregnant, and it wasn't for me," she tells People. "And then I was 42 and I was pregnant with my second one and people were like, 'Oh my God, you're going to be so tired. That's why people have kids in their 20s.' I was like, that's the most sorry, asinine thing I've ever heard."

"[Ryan supports me] in all the ways I need to be supported," she continues. "He's got me in all the ways."

How has fatherhood affected Ryan Gosling?

Image via Hector Vivas/Getty Images

Considering Ryan Gosling's daughters are such a huge part of his life now, it's hard to believe that earlier in life, he wasn't sure he wanted kids. "After I met Eva, I realized that I just didn’t want to have kids without her," he tells GQ. "And there were moments on The Place Beyond the Pines where we were pretending to be a family, and I didn’t really want it to be pretend anymore." Now, I'm going to need you to pause and reread that quote because I can't believe that's a real sentence. I'm obsessed!

A source also told People in 2023 that "Ryan is such a fun dad. He is goofy and his girls love it."

Via WSJ, we also know that since Ryan Gosling's kids have started learning Spanish, they now call him Papi. "It kills me every time," he says. "There's just nothing, nothing better than that."

What has Eva Mendes said about their daughters?

Image via Eva Mendes/Instagram

Eva Mendes is just as obsessed with her and Ryan Gosling's children as he is, and she's talked about how they make life so much better. "Oh April…I have such a complicated relationship with you," she says on Instagram. "[April 2] would have been my brother’s birthday…..in a couple of weeks from now is the day we lost him…but then, the end of April we got the biggest blessing of all, my little girl was born 8 years ago. I hate you April. But I love you more."

Check out our email newsletter for the latest celebrity news and trending content, and check back here for the latest news on Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling's kids!

Lead image via Daniel Boczarski/Getty Images for Universal Pictures

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Travel Anxiety Sucks — Here Are 7 Easy Tips To Soothe It

Traveling can be so rewarding; new experiences lend to a broader and more understanding mindset and taking time away from your everyday routine can feel like a much-needed breath of fresh air. Whether you’re headed away on a quick weekend accompanied only by a carry-on, or jet setting on a bachelorette trip to celebrate a lifelong girlfriend, trips are good for the mind, body, and soul.

While the positive aspects that accompany traveling are plenty, it’s completely normal to experience anxiety around this process as well. It’s inevitable that each time you take a trip you’re usually forced to encounter one uncomfortable situation or another; planned or not. Maybe your flight gets delayed, your friend can no longer watch your pet while you’re away, or you get sick just days before heading overseas; the unpredictability of travel can be extremely anxiety-inducing, and we get that.

Instead of leaving you to fly solo to stress about the potential anxieties of any upcoming trips you may have on your calendar, we spoke with California-based mental health professor, Dr. Ishan Shivanandwho has experience in groundbreaking protocols for reversing symptoms of stress, anxiety, depression, and more.

What is anxiety?

Photo by Liza Summer/PEXELS

Dr. Shivanand describesanxiety as "a complex state that can manifest in various forms and intensities, affecting both the mind and the body." He continued, saying, “At its core, anxiety involves feelings of worry, fear, and unease, often accompanied by physical symptoms such as increased heart rate, sweating, trembling, and difficulty concentrating. One way to understand anxiety is to think of it as the mind being overwhelmed by the multitude of thoughts, concerns, and stimuli bombarding it at any given moment. Just like a computer with too many open applications, the mind struggles to process everything efficiently, leading to a sense of being scattered and unable to focus.”

Why do I get anxious when I travel?

Image via Cora Pursley/Dupe

When it comes to anxiety specific to travel, the reason for why you may experience these uncomfortable feelings could be due to a multitude of reasons and can vary in intensity from person to person. Dr. Shivanand shared that travel anxiety could be in part due to “fear of the unknown, fear of safety, fear of flying, control issues, and past traumatic experiences,” as well other areas of anxiety including “separation anxiety, social anxiety, and health anxiety.” Dr. Shivanand went on to explain that, although fun, “traveling often involves stepping outside of one's comfort zone and encountering unfamiliar situations, environments, and people. For some individuals, the uncertainty of what to expect can trigger feelings of anxiety.”

No matter why you experience anxiety related to travel, “It's important to recognize that travel anxiety is a common and valid experience, and there are various strategies and coping mechanisms available to help manage it,” offered Dr. Shivanand. “These may include relaxation techniques, cognitive-behavioral strategies, gradual exposure to anxiety-provoking situations, seeking support from mental health professionals, and planning ahead to minimize stressors during travel.”

​How can I control my travel anxiety ahead of my upcoming trip?

Photo by Vlada Karpovich/PEXELS


  • Plan and Prepare in Advance: “Plan your trip ahead of time to reduce uncertainty,” says Dr. Shivanand. “This includes booking accommodations, transportation, and activities in advance, as well as familiarizing yourself with the destination, and local regulations.” Having a loose agenda of things to look forward to when your trip starts is a great way to get excited when thinking about traveling, instead of stressed.
  • Practice Relaxation Techniques: “Incorporate relaxation techniques such as deep breathing and meditation to calm and center yourself. [Yoga of Immortals] Breathwork and Advance Cognitive sessions can really help,” says Dr. Shivanand. As the founder of the Yoga of Immortals practice, he uses its principles in his everyday life and has seen how it can positively impact the lives of others from a mental health standpoint. However, any type of yoga, meditation, and other similar practices you're familiar with should help.

Image via Andrew Worung/Dupe

  • Create a Checklist: “Create a checklist of essential items to pack and tasks to complete before your trip to stay organized and minimize last-minute stressors,” shared Dr. Shivanand. “Organizing your belongings and documents can also help you feel more in control during your travels.” The simple task of crossing off packing items from a list can feel cathartic and ensure you don’t forget anything essential during your travels.
  • Stay Connected: “Maintain communication with friends or family members before, during, and after your trip,” Dr. Shivanand recommends. “Knowing that you have someone to reach out to for support or guidance can provide reassurance and alleviate feelings of isolation.” News flash, the people you care about care about you too! They’ll be happy to hear from you and walk you through any tough feelings, if need be.
  • Stay Grounded: “Practice mindfulness and grounding techniques to stay present and centered during your travels,” shared Dr. Shivanand. Embrace the ‘pinch me’ moments of your trip as they happen, this is why you’re traveling in the first place after all!

Photo by Cliff Booth/PEXELS

  • Seek Professional Support: “If travel-related anxiety significantly impacts your ability to engage in travel experiences, consider seeking support from a mental health professional,” says Dr. Shivanand. Listen; asking for help is okay, and something that you should do if it will have a positive impact on your life.
  • Incorporate Meditative & Wellness Daily: In doing so, Dr Shivanand says, "One can effectively manage travel-related anxiety and enjoy your travel experiences with greater ease and confidence.” Dr. Shivanand reiterates that “it's okay to seek support and take proactive steps to prioritize your mental well-being during your travels.”

Looking for more travel tips? Be sure to sign up for our weekly email newsletter so you never miss a thing!

Header image via Cora Pursley/Dupe

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The Starbucks Summer Menu Is In Full Swing With 3 New Boba Drinks

Stop what you’re doing! Folks, the Starbucks summer menu is in full swing, and you need to try it now. The chain – in addition to the spicy drinks that hit menus on April 16 – just launched a never-before-seen lineup of Refreshersthat include popping boba – just as we predicted! Starbucks also introduced a few fruityfood items, too.

The new items on the Starbucks summer menu are the perfect fit for the season. Scroll on for everything you can order now, plus a review of the spicy Refreshers so you can suss 'em out for yourself.

When did the Starbucks summer menu come out?

The Starbucks summer menu came out in two different phases: the spicy Refreshers launched on April 16, while the boba drinks and more come out on May 7.

Does Starbucks have boba?

Photo by Telly Mina / PEXELS

Yes – with the new summer menu items, Starbucks officially has boba!

Starbucks has never served boba nationwide before this, but they did test it regionally for a brief period in late 2021. According to Tasting Table, only two Starbucks locations (one in California, one in Washington) tested out coffee boba pearls back then. The pearls were also popping boba (like the new summer drinks), but weren't received super well.

One person that tried the boba drinks in 2021 said the pearls were "really small and awkward to drink." People engaging in online discourse about the coffee boba pearls weren't happy about the attention and revenue the boba could potentially take away from small businesses serving authentic Taiwanese boba.

Everything On The Starbucks Summer Menu

NEW! Summer-Berry Starbucks Refresher

The Starbucks summer menu lists a brand-new line of iced Refresher drinks, with the Summer-Berry flavor leading! And... it has boba!

This new sip is described as "a sweet summer blend of raspberry, blueberry and blackberry flavors mixed with water, lemonade or coconut milk and shaken with ice." It's poured over raspberry-flavored popping boba, which amps up the berry vibes even more!

NEW! Summer-Berry Lemonade Refresher

This next sip is shaken with lemonade rather than water, which gives it a citrusy, zingy effect. Lemonade is the perfect bev for summertime, and I have a hunch it could pair really well with the raspberry boba pearls!

NEW! Summer Skies Drink Refresher

The Starbucks summer menu is heating up with this creamy drink! This one's essentially the Summer-Berry Refresher with a splash of coconut milk, much like the Starbucks Pink Dink. It also includes fruity boba! Starbucks will begin to supply wider green straws to help you sip up the pearls.

White Chocolate Macadamia Cream Cold Brew

We've seen this drink on Starbucks menus before, and it's made its return for summer 2024, and I am so excited. The White Chocolate Macadamia Cream Cold Brew features "Starbucks signature cold brew sweetened with macadamia syrup, topped with a silky white-chocolate macadamia cream cold foam and finished with toasted cookie crumbles," according to Starbucks.

I feel like nutty flavors are more fit for fall, but it's nice that Starbucks is offering an option for the warmer months with this returning iced coffee drink!

NEW! Orange Cream Cake Pop

The Starbucks summer menu also introduced a brand-new cake pop! The Orange Cream Cake Pop is described as "orange cream cake mixed with buttercream, dipped in chocolatey icing and finished with an orange slice design." The cute orange slice design honestly does it for me. I love an orange Dreamsicle!

NEW! Pineapple Cloud Cake

This new sweet snack is described as an "airy cake layered with a lightweight pineapple cream and pineapple spread with whole fruit pieces all topped with a sweet drizzle." It looks so yum.

What People Were Saying About The Starbucks Summer Menu Rumors

IG @markie_devo

The Starbucks summer menu rumors sparked a fair amount of excitement online. A few commenters on @markie_devo's initial menu leak post said the proposed lineup looks appetizing and exciting.

"Now this looks good 💯🔥," one person wrote. "Finally something DIFFERENT," another said.

Some Starbucks fans were anticipating entirely different drinks for the summer menu, like the S'mores Frappuccino that came out in 2019.

"Where's the smores frapp😫," the first comment reads. "Wish they’d bring back the S’mores Frappuccino 😔," another wrote.

Starbucks isn't the first big coffee chain to add boba to their menu. Dunkin' had featured strawberry-flavored popping pearls on their menu back in 2021, and Dutch Bros just debuted their version in February 2024. Some Starbucks customers commenting on the menu rumors noticed this.

"Stole from Dutch lmao," one person wrote. "Dunkin did it first lol. But these are super interesting," another said.

Starbucks Is Doing Something Spicy...

Spicy Dragonfruit Refresher

Rumors about some spicy Starbucks Refreshers were floating around the internet after @markie_devo posted a potential lineup. The first drink (of three new Refreshers) is the Spicy Dragonfruit Refresher. The drink is your traditional fruity Refresher, except shaken with lemonade and a new Spicy Chili Powder Blend to bring a nice kick of flavor!

I got to try it out first thing on launch day, and I have got to say that the spice in this drink somehow makes this the most "dragonfruit" dragonfruit drink I’ve ever had from Starbucks. And it's good! Of course, I expected my sips to be spicy, but I underestimated just how much spice would be included. I personally think it’s such a nice balance between sweet and spicy, but I could see where it may be too much for non-spice-lovers.

The spicy Refreshers will be available for limited time. They were released in stores on April 16, 2024.

Spicy Strawberry Refresher

The Spicy Strawberry Refresher is the most refreshing of all the spicy Starbucks drinks. It's just the OG Strawberry Refresher base shaken with zesty lemonade, ice, fruit bits, and the chili spice blend.

When I ordered the Spicy Strawberry Refresher, I was not expecting it to come out an orange color. Though unexpected, the spice in the drink was spicing nonetheless, and I thought it was pretty good! I had sipped this one first out of all three, but it ends up last in my overall Refresher ranking. I think the other bevs do a better job at highlighting the fruit – in this one, the strawberry flavors were undoubtedly eclipsed by the chili spice blend.

I bet it'd be so heavenly if you ordered it blended with ice, so it becomes a nice slushy texture!

Spicy Pineapple Refresher

I was most excited about this new Starbucks drink because in my opinion, pineapple and spice are a classic combo! I've eaten way too much Tajin-covered fruit in my lifetime, and I hoped for this drink to directly emulate those flavors! And y'all, it DELIVERED. 

​The drink is literally gorgeous. With the spice blend, the Pineapple Refresher takes on a orange-y hue, while the pieces of pineapple float at the top. Upon first sip, it tastes exactly like Tajin-covered fruit. I did notice that a lot of the spice blend sunk to the bottom of my cup, so I had to keep shaking it to mix it up. Not a big tradeoff though, for how deliciously fruity this drink is.

Spicy Cream Cold Foam

Starbucks is also offering Spicy Cream Cold Foam for a limited time. It's crafted with Starbucks classic cold foam and their new Spicy Chili Powder Blend, and you can add it to any iced drink!

I tried the Spicy Cream Cold Foam atop an iced mocha. I had a vision, okay?! I really wanted the chili and chocolate to blend together for a tasty Mexican chocolate feel. I admired the specks of spice in the cold foam before sipping down a swig.

My first impression was that the spice isn't as intense in the cold foam as it is with the Refreshers – it honestly made the drink more enjoyable. The chocolate in the mocha made it so tasty, balancing everything out with lots of sweetness. I think the Spicy Cream Cold Foam could be an amazing addition to other sweet coffee drinks like these for those seeking coffee-based bevs.

My Review Of Starbucks Spicy Refreshers

Photos by Meredith Holser

Because of the intensity of the spice, I also think the new Spicy Refreshers work best as a slow sipper. I found that when I drank them quickly, the spice became overpowering, and honestly, unenjoyable after a time. I still need to try the Refreshers with alcohol, but I think adding a lil' splash of tequila for an easy summer cocktail is the move. I could take to the park or a friend's place on a nice weekend. 👀 I can tell these are gonna keep me up and goin’ through summer!

What People Are Saying About The Spicy Starbucks Refreshers

In the wake of brand-new spicy drinks at Starbucks, some customers were thrown off by the initial menu rumors that @markie_devo posted.

"🤮 Kinda takes away the “refreshing” aspect lol," one person wrote. "But I guess people who like spicy stuff on fruit will be happy."

One Starbucks barista commented on the validity of the menu rumors, saying: "As someone who works at Starbucks, this isn’t fake, we got our chili powder in already 😃"

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Images via @markie_devo on Instagram, Starbucks.

This post has been updated.

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32 Mother's Day Gifts Every Mom Will Actually Enjoy

Before I became a mom, I had no idea which gifts for Mother's Day would actually make a mom feel appreciated. I've often heard that it's the thought that counts, but how many cards and homemade meals can moms get? The unfiltered answer to that is "Keep them coming," but there's also the desire to receive something that feels personalized. Gifting her something that speaks to who she is outside of being a mom is the chef's kiss she's probably waiting for.

But, what about when you're shopping for your sister, bestie, or even yourself if you're pregnant? Chances are the moms you know aren't all alike, so it's safe to assume they don't want the things...unless we're talking about sleeping in 👀. Aside from that, here's 27 gifts for Mother's Day that'll speak to all moms in your life. Take it from a real mom, it's time to get a little more personal this year.

Gifts For Mother's Day That'll Move Your Grandma To Happy Tears

Vivee Home Alexis Blue Vase

Visiting your grandparents' homes as a kid usually meant you were going to see some cool and quirky home decor choices. From bright color schemes to odd-shaped vases, you could count on your grandma to be the happy culprit behind whatever you saw. That's why it's important to make sure the gifts for Mother's Day you choose for her are a nod to her quirks and not-so-secretly cool taste.

Vivee Home's Alexis Blue Vase immediately comes to mind when I think about my maternal and paternal grandmothers. For some reason, both of them gravitated towards the color blue and often found ways to incorporate it in their lives daily. If your grandma fancies this color and has a thing for having fresh flowers in her home, she'll adore this pop of porcelain.

Its design is meant to invoke creativity and daydreaming while housing everything from sunflowers to tulips. Plus, you'll feel good knowing that 5% of your purchase goes to The Art Therapy Project!

Hearth & Hand with Magnolia Wood Cookbook Holder with Metal Ledge

Chances are that your grandma has a plethora of cookbooks that she references and lets you know she's passing down to you. If she doesn't have a way to look at them without bending over to peer at the small text in them, gift her this beautiful wooden cookbook holder by Hearth & Hand with Magnolia!

The slanted ledge is angled so cookbooks are eye-level for most cooks while the metal stand reinforces the sturdiness of the holder. Overall, the design has a farmhouse rustic feel to it that may trigger happy memories for your grandma if she grew up on a farm.

And guess? This cookbook holder is only $20 at Target!

Caraway Cookware + Set (Sage)

Does your grandma have a hard time parting ways with things even if they're beyond worn? Welcome to the club! Seriously though, our grandparents are from a time where it wasn't necessarily easily to buy new things just because they wanted them so it's not hard to understand why they're reluctant to let go of things.

If your grandma's beloved pot set is beyond repair, surprise her with Caraway's Cookware Set! The pots and pans are super easy to store, and they can withstand up to 500 degrees of heat! Prayerfully your grandmother doesn't cook her meals on that high of a temperature, but this still should give her a piece of mind that her new shiny pot set won't burn even if she still has a gas stove.

You can snag this beautiful set for less than $200 at Caraway.

Image via Compartés

Compartés Pink Chocolate Covered Oreos

Grandma still has a sweet tooth doesn't she? I know because my grandma does too. She was known for keeping packs of gum, peppermint and Werther's caramel candy in her purse so I'm sure you grandma had her snacks of choice too.

If your grandma has a thing for Oreos no matter how they're packaged, she'll love Compartés Pink Chocolate Covered Oreos. She'll got a dozen in this cute little box and will giggle with delight once she sees how pretty the pink chocolate frosting is.

This is a limited edition box so you'll want to make sure you order these for her in time for Mother's Day!

Gifts For Mother's Day That Prove To Your Mom You Do Pay Attention To Her

Udreamer Vinyl Record Player (Wireless)

Chances are that your mom grew up listening to her favorite records on a record player like mine and she may often reminisce about that time if she no longer has one. Surprise her with a more compact version of the one she remembers like this wireless design! It has built-in speakers that'll give any record she listens to a retro sound, but it also has an RCA outlet so she can connect external speakers to it.

One of the best features IMO are the three input options — bluetooth, USB, and AUX — that are also included with the record player. This means she choose songs to play from her iPad, CD player (if she still has one), her laptop, and more! Have no fear though! If she prefers to keep it old school by listening to actual vinyl records, she still has the option to do so!

The grand beauty of it all is that you'll be spending less than $100 to bring a piece of nostalgia to your mom's home.

Eileen Fisher Selle Suede Ballet Flats (Cassis)

If your mom is spending less time in her high heels these days, surprise her with a new pair of ballet flats by Eileen Fisher! They're classically chic so your mom will be able to pair them with anything — jeans, dress slacks, dresses, you name it.

They have a leather outsole with a rubber pod that makes for an extremely comfortable fit despite the appearance of the squared toe areas (they're padded). This is great if you mom works a 9 to 5 job that requires her to be up and down throughout the day.

Armitron The Tilly Bracelet Set

This is one of those gifts for Mother's Day that makes my heart skip several beats because my mom wore a very similar watch similar to the one in this Armitron set for years. When I used to watch her get dressed for work in the morning, I'd always know she was ready for her day when she slid her watch on.

Aside from the vivid memories I have of my own mother wearing a watch, this bracelet maintains a timeless appeal that I've always loved. It has the perfect two tone blend of gold and silver that adds to the overall sleekness of the duo. As much as modern advances are welcomed in fashion, the Roman numerals on the watch's face will never go out of style.

When it comes to aesthetics, a two-toned watch and bracelet set that can be passed down from generation to generation.

You'll spend less than $100 too!

Gifts For Mother's Day To Surprise Your Mother-in-Law (Yes, It Matters)

Made By Mary Birth Flower Stacker Necklaces

Whether you have a good relationship with your mother-in-law or a neutral one, finding gifts for Mother's Day that make her feel appreciated is a pretty nice gesture. It doesn't have be super big or expensive either!

If you've noticed that your mother-in-law tends to wear dainty gold jewelry, follow her lead by gifting her with Made By Mary's hand-drawn stacker necklaces. You have the option of personalizing them or you can order as is. They're tarnish-resistant and hypoallergenic, making them perfect for daily wear.

You won't have to worry about putting a huge dent in your wallet because you can buy them for only $58.

UrbanStems The Pink Champagne

Not into the idea of gifting your mother-in-law jewelry for Mother's Day? I get it and think there's always another option. You can't go wrong with a beautiful bouquet of flowers. Aside from roses, she'll find mini calla lilies, hypericum, and ruscus flowers in her new pretty spread that's sure to brighten any surface she places them on.

SAND AND FOG Limoncello Candle

If it always smells good when you walk into your MIL's home, you know that it's all because she loves to strategically place candles throughout various rooms. It's one thing to gift her flowers, but she'll enjoy knowing that you pay attention to her love for great scents.

As someone who's purchased more than a few Sand and Fog candles, trust me when I say that she'll love how quickly her space smells like this candle once it's lit.

You won't believe that you'll be able to snag this candle for less than $15 at Marshalls!

Aromatherapy Associates Moment of Tranquility Sleep Kit

If your MIL is always busy doing things for everyone else, gift her this tranquility sleep kit for Mother's Day from Marshalls! She deserves a moment of peace (and rest) without interruptions. I just know she's going to enjoy drifting off to sleep once she inhales the deep relax sleep mist.

Gifts For Mother's Day That Reminds Your Sister She's *Still* That Girl

Old Navy EveryWear Graphic T-Shirt

If your big sister is like mine, chances are she's a few kids in and works hard in her career. There's nothing wrong with this, but it's possible she doesn't always get time to pour into herself. Sometimes moms need a reminder that they're not doing anything in vain, especially after rough seasons in their lives.

I'm not saying that your sister is going to turn into superwoman if she wears this graphic t-shirt by Old Navy, but it'll help her remember that she's still that girl because your sister is not just a mom; she's a cool mom.

And you'll be an even cooler sister since you'll only spend $10 for this cute shirt.

Gigi Pip Sal Crochet Bucket Hat

The sun has been sharing it's glorious rays with us which means your sister needs something to shield her already tired eyes. This cute bucket hat is one way she can do that on top of adding an extra appeal to her casual mom outfit of an oversized tee, leggings, and new samba sneakers.

Longchamp Sunglasses (Red)

Did your sister recently lose her favorite pair of sunnies and has been having a hard time recovering from her loss? Make a mental note and see if it's in your budget to gift her this pair of Longchamp sunglasses. They're bold, but she'll especially love them if she has a thing for red frames.

They'll bring a pop of color to her casual outfit and serve as the perfect cover if she's out running errands but doesn't really want to talk to many people. There's something about shades that serve as a perfect deterrent in public sometimes.

Clevr Coffee Superlatte

Coffee is life when you're a mom because you it seems like you need as much energy as you can get. If your sister has older sister syndrome, maneuvers motherhood daily, and puts out fires at her job, she needs Clevr's Coffee Superlatte!

It has all the features of an oat milk latte except it also includes adaptogens, mushrooms, and probiotics that make for a soothing drink. No one wants to drink coffee and feel extremely wired later because that can add to unnecessary stress that your sister may want to get rid of.

For just $28, your sister can enjoy 14 lattes that have just two grams of sugar in them! What's not to love?

Rhode Skin Lip Case

One thing I know is that my sister believes in keeping her phone case on and a moisturizing lip product nearby. She's never said they're mandatory things but I've yet to see her without both of them. I'd be lying if I said it's easy for her to keep up with her lip balms or glosses, hence why I included this innovative gift.

Pair it with Rhode's Peptide Lip Treatment so your sister doesn't feel frustrated when she realizes her other lip products don't go with this particular case. As far as we're concerned, she won't think twice after trying the peptide treatment because her lips will be the softest they've ever been.

Candier Girl, Make Waves and Turn The Tide

Your sister's been dreaming of going on vacation again hasn't she? *Sigh* So has the editorial and social team at Brit + Co.

This candle deserves a spot in your sister's room, bathroom, or reading nook because it's sure to make her feel like she's on vacation each time she takes a deep breath. It smells like fresh ocean air, citrus, musk, and pink sea salt — hence the candle's title.

Since your sister is sure to fall in love with this candle, it's important that you tell her it's made without carcinogens, parabens, and phthalates.

Did I mention that its $29 at Ulta?

Heyday Active Noise Cancelling Bluetooth Wireless Headphones (Pastel Lavender)

If your sister doesn't want to go anywhere for Mother's Day, she may want to spend time by herself. Help her block out excess noise while she's reading, listening to her favorite audiobook, or sleeping with these noise cancelling headphones.

Choose the lilac pair so she doesn't misplace them when she really needs them!

Image via Piglet

Piglet in Bed Pink Bloom Linen Pajama Shorts Set

Since we're on the subject of relaxation, I know it's time for your sister to upgrade her pajamas. I'm sure she has a few pajama tops that still smell like breastmilk no matter how many times she's washed them (it's a powerful scent).

She'll appreciate wearing this linen shorts set that's super soft and breathable.

Gifts For Mother's Day That Book Lovers Won't Get Enough Of

Amazon Kindle 6" E-Reader

I know you have at least one friend that loves reading books and would spend her entire day reading if she didn't have anything else to do. I'm secure enough to say that I'm that mom friend and would absolutely love if someone gifted me a kindle for Mother's Day.

I love physical copies of books, but sometimes I wish I had something that didn't take up so much space. One thing I know is that kindles allow you to comfortably read books without worrying that you're going to fall asleep and lose your place because you dropped your book just as things were getting good.

With Kindle Unlimited, I'd get access to over 2 million books and I wouldn't feel overwhelmed because they'll all be on this compact device.

This version is $100 at Target!

Kate Spade New York Canvas Tote Bag with Interior Pocket

Book lovers need something to carry their essentials in books in like this cute canvas tote bag by Kate Spade. It's fairly reliable despite how lightweight it is and that's always a great sign. It also has an interior pocket to store small essentials like gum, pens, and more.

For a Kate Spade design, the $28 price tag feels like a steal!

Papier "The Little Things" Reading Journal

Your solo book club isn't complete with a reading journal! You'll be able to review 32 books with plenty of space to write as many details per review. You'll also be able to write down your TBR list on 8 different pages, document the books you've borrowed or let others read, and answer journal prompts.

I almost forgot but the team at Papier has also included their book recommendations in it! I feel like this is one of the most thorough reading journals I've come across.

It's currently in-stock for $38.

Mystery Book Owl Blind Date With a Book

Do you know a mom who loves books and wouldn't mind being surprised because she received a mystery read? She'll love this gift by Mystery Book Owl Blind Date With a Book. Each package comes wrapped with an external pocket that has a space for your pen, a reading log, stickers, and more.

You'll be able to pick the genre for her and the rest will be history as they say!

Gifts For Mother's Day That Wine Lover Will Savor

Sophie James Wine Co Sparkling Estate Rosé of Pinot Noir

It's wine. Of course your wine drinking mom friend will love this sparkling rosé! It's perfect for the mom who appreciates women owned businesses that are sustainable and are 100% organic! She'll immediately smell sweet blends of white strawberry and white flowers that have a hint of mandarin peel along with briche. And the texture? You can bet she'll thoroughly enjoy that too!

The Bamboo Abode Pink Wine Glasses Gift Set

Keep the pink theme going with The Bamboo Abode's pink wine glasses to complement your rosé wine bottle. You'll get a gold metal wine opener as well as wine stoppers to keep your wine stored in style. And what's wine and cute wine glasses without a charcuterie board set to go along with it?

YETI Wine Chiller

Okay, the wine lover's gifts for Mother's Day aren't complete with a wine cooler! The mom you gift this too will probably giggle heartily when she realizes you're keeping her love for wine in mind. Don't be surprised when she brings it along during your next brunch picnic!

Gifts For Mother's Day That The Beauty-Obsessed Will Reach For Daily

Kosas Wet Lip Trio

I'm biased so Kosas stays on my radar with their skincare-driven makeup products. I've even shared the brand with my older sister because we tend to swap beauty finds with each other. If you have a similar relationship with you sister, be sure to buy this lip gloss trio for her.

They're full of moisturizing hyaluronic acid, lip-plumping peptides, and evening primrose oil that protects lips from icky environmental smog. Trust me, your sister will have a hard time choosing which shades are her favorite because all of them work well on any complexion.

Get this limited edition trio for $59 at Kosas!

Peter Thomas Roth 24K Gold Pure Luxury Lift & Firm Hydra-Gel Eye Patches

We're in our eye patches eras ladies and that means the beauty-obsessed mom in your life probably is too. I'm a fan of Peter Thomas Roth's products because he understands that one's skincare routine should feel luxuriating. His Hydra-Gel Eye Patches are infused with real 24K Gold and Colloidal Gold to help improve the under eye area, but that's not all!

They're great for all skin types and are anti-aging as well. Basically they're the top tier beauty products that a mom needs if she's been dealing with a few sleepless nights lately.

Grab a pack of 30 for $75!

Sonäge Skincare Bare Essentials Duo

Gift this skincare duo to a mom who's been looking to find her glow again. She'll appreciate the soothing hydration she'll get from the Hydrating Cleanser that easily removes makeup and other debris from her face. Once she follows up wit the Glow To Go Glycolic Acid Peel Pads, her skin will feel nice and exfoliated. The pads also treat large pores and dark spots so if she's been looking to heal her hyperpigmentation, do her a big favor please!

You'll spend less than $75 when you buy this duo from Sonäge Skincare!

Dermstore Supergoop! Unseen Sunscreen Mineral SPF 40

There's a reason why this sunscreen keeps making rounds! It's literally the best sunshine protection you'll get in a bottle and it's universal. It has a weightless, cloud-like formula that doesn't feel tough to rub into the skin and it works well for those with really sensitive skin. If the mom in your life who can't seem to find a good sunscreen or primer is like me, she'll appreciate that this sunscreen doubles as both.

Let's give a huge shout out to the bamboo extract found in this amazing bottle.

Mermade Hair 1.25" OG Waver

Tell your mom friend that her favorite hair curler has met it's match with Mermade Hair's OG Waver. It's designed specifically for those who are looking for a boost of curls and volumes that they usually have a hard time achieving. Since summer is right around the corner, this is a perfect Mother's Day gift for the mom you know will be going on vacation soon. She'll get effortlessly beachy and glam curls that'll completely the shag hairstyles she's been eyeing.

And get this — it's celebrity hairstylist-approved for $79.

KORA Organics x Bumpsuit Moment for Motherhood Kit

I strongly believe that moms are deserving of me time no matter if they work full-time or stay at home with their kids. Luckily, KORA Organics has teamed up with Bumpsuit to help make that time a little more relaxing. Specially picked by Miranda Kerr and Nicole Trunfio, this motherhood kit includes the Noni Glow Sleeping Mask, Noni Glow Body Oil, and Bumpsuit Cloud Robe.

By gifting the beauty-obsessed mom in your life this motherhood kit, you'll be happy to know that KORA Organics is donating 5% of your purchase to Baby2Baby!

Which gifts for Mother's Day are you thinking about adding to your list? Let us know and be sure to subscribe to our newsletter for more shopping inspo!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

Lead mage via Compartés

This post has been updated.

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