Nightly Journal Prompts For Personal Growth, Based On Your Enneagram Type

woman journaling with enneagram

The Enneagram isn't just a personality type system — once you dig into it, you'll learn that the system is actually all about overcoming the constraints of your personality. Once you've figured out your Enneagram type through lots of introspection, you can start to become aware of the habitual thoughts and behaviors you've developed in response to childhood trauma and societal pressures. If you already know your type, it can be really helpful to journal each night about the day that just went by, and how your type's issues may have manifested in your thoughts and actions. Here are nine journal prompts you can try, based on your Enneagram type, to help you reflect on and move past your type's personal challenges.

Type 1

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"In what ways was I critical of myself and others today?"

Type 1 is characterized by the need to detect errors, improve the world, and make things more perfect. For some 1s, that manifests in being incredibly self-critical, while for others, that criticism may be directed toward the people and institutions around them.

At the end of the day, Type 1s can reflect on these tendencies by taking note of instances in which they were unnecessarily critical of themselves, others, and their environment. Noticing these patterns is the key to eventually overcoming them.

Type 2

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"During the course of the day, how did I shift my behavior to appear more likable and charming to others?"

Type 2 is often called "The Helper," but there's more to this type than simply lending a helping hand to other people. The biggest issue for Type 2s is their need to be liked, and while this can manifest as helping others, it can also take the form of being charming, cute, and likeable.

Each night, make it a point to reflect on how you may have shifted your behavior to earn others' approval, whether by being nice, acting upbeat, or even being seductive in your interactions.

Type 3

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"In what ways did I overly focus on my outward appearance, success, and competence today?"

Type 3s focus their attention on appearing successful, competent, and societally attractive. This can manifest as working too hard, dressing according to trends rather than their own tastes, showing off their wealth — really, anything that makes them look admirable in the eyes of others. What it all comes down to is that 3s focus on what's acceptable and prized by society, rather than knowing who they truly are or what they truly want.

The first step toward knowing your true self better is to realize how you prioritize appearing successful. At the end of the day, take note on ways you shifted your appearance or behavior in order to seem successful in the eyes of others.

Type 4

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"In what ways did I compare myself to others today? Did I find myself to be better than or less than others?"

Type 4s often want to feel unique and special, and the reason for this is that deep down, they feel as though they are somehow deficient. They constantly reinforce these untrue thoughts by comparing themselves to others — often seeing themselves as lacking what others have, but sometimes by feeling superior to others as a defense mechanism.

Each night, it will be beneficial for 4s to sit down with themselves and have an honest conversation about how they compared themselves to others throughout the day. Notice whether you found yourself envying others, or feeling superior — both are a symptom of your inner tendency to constantly compare.

Type 5

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"What are some examples of ways I isolated myself and detached from others today?"

Type 5s live in their heads because they find it safer than opening up to other people. A lot of this stems from a deeper fear that their energy will be used up or depleted by others — and especially by others' emotions. They fear being overwhelmed by others' needs, moods, and demands.

If you're a Type 5, take a moment to reflect on ways you may have purposely avoided other people, whether literally or emotionally. Perhaps taking your lunch break alone felt less scary than interacting with your coworkers, or maybe you preferred to watch a movie or have an intellectual discussion with your partner, rather than opening up emotionally.

Type 6

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"In what ways did I anticipate worst-case scenarios today? Did I 'prepare' for these scenarios by confronting them head-on, worrying excessively, or relying on others?

Type 6s anticipate all the ways in which things could go wrong, and then make attempts to prevent worst-case scenarios. Some 6s try to prevent their fears from coming true by teaming up with others or following the rules, while other 6s (often called counter-phobic 6s), head these situations off by coming at them directly. Either way, these strategies can be problematic, because they consistently lead to worst-case scenario thinking and a profound sense of anxiety.

If you're a 6, journal about ways you anticipated the worst in all manner of situations. Some Type 6's fears manifest more socially (fearing that others are judging you or don't like you), while others are more situational (preparing for storms, catastrophic events, and problems at work). Take note of any and all of the above.

Type 7

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"What are some examples of how I removed myself from unpleasant feelings or situations today by turning to something more fun and interesting instead?"

If you're a Type 7, you often move away from sad, boring, or unpleasant feelings, and towards stimulating ideas and experiences. This is because unconsciously, you deeply fear being trapped, sad, or lonely. You avoid these feelings by turning toward more "positive" experiences instead. While that all sounds fun, this can lead to becoming emotionally detached, absent, and unable to navigate life's inevitable ups and downs.

Each night, tune into the ways you ignored the darker side of your emotions by focusing on the lighter, brighter aspects of being instead.

Type 8

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"In the course of the day, did I make powerful statements or attempt to make things happen by force of will and excessive action?"

Enneagram Type 8s avoid feeling vulnerable, preferring instead to believe they can accomplish anything. They overcompensate for their inner fears of vulnerability by standing up to others, fighting for the underdog, appearing larger-than-life, and sometimes, being combative or aggressive.

If you're a Type 8, it's important to notice how you bulldoze through life in ways that reinforce your inner fear of being vulnerable or ineffective. The truth is, you can't always manifest your desires into being by sheer force or will, and believing things to be true doesn't make them so.

Type 9

Photo by Arina Krasnikova/Pexels

"Did I have trouble saying 'no' to others today? If so, what conflict was I trying to avoid?"

Type 9s tend to overlook themselves and look instead to other people as a means of avoiding conflict and keeping the peace. This can look like people-pleasing, working when you don't want to work, tuning out your desires, and having trouble saying no.

If you're a Type 9, it can be very hard to notice these behaviors in yourself, because you've tuned your own needs and desires out so completely. As a first step, start taking notice of instances in which you had trouble saying no. This resistance to standing up for yourself is a good indicator of how you may be trying to avoid conflict with others.

Love these Enneagram journal prompts? Be sure to sign up for our newsletter for more personal growth inspo, typology content, and life hacks!

Featured photo by Ivan Samkov/Pexels.

For a lot of us, the 2020s have already brought about the most memorable moments of our lives for better or for worse. As we enter a new year and establish our new vibes, make sure you're living your best life with the items we couldn't live without this year. Trust me, you won't want to miss any of this in 2023!

Thanks for reading about our favorite finds from across the internet! FYI: We participate in affiliate programs and may get a share of the revenue from your purchase.

A Colorful Drink Clink

Amazon

These are the most popular wine glasses for the girlies who love to display colorful glassware on their bar carts. These Italian style tall stem glasses complement both red and white wines and truly elevates your favorite bottle of wine.

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The Only Pair Of Flats You Need

Amazon

There’s nothing better than a pair of structured leather flats for a day at the office when the weather is just slightly too chilly for your toes. This pair is easy to slip on and offers a little more breathability for comfort.

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It's The Handle For Me

Amazon

If you haven't experienced the joy that is drinking out of this fancy water container, you're seriously missing out. Not only does the whole 40oz container fit nicely in a cup holder, there's a straw and a handle! We're not sure why, but there is just something about that handle that makes us feel all of our girl power.

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Start Your Year With Fresh New Bedding

Amazon

This french linen bedding set will transform your bedroom into an upscale sleeping suite. This high-quality material will hold up wash after wash and is a texture that goes with literally anything and in any color.

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Girl Peel Off Those Command Strips

Amazon

These simple and elegant wooden wall hooks are a step above your typical command strip hooks. They're a perfect way to incorporate a slight edge of midcentury modernism into whatever interior design style you may have already.

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Keep It Casual This Year

Amazon

These blazers are a bit more casual than the typical formal cut making them a great addition to basic jeans and a t-shirt looks. If your office wear is a bit more laid back, this is also a great option to wear with a simple shift dress.

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In Case Of An Emergency

Amazon

This traveling charger has a built-in lightning connector for a compact but fast charge no matter where you are. The entire charger is the same size as your tube of lipstick so just throw it in your purse for emergency moments.

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It's Cheaper Than Therapy

Amazon

These tone therapy meditation disks are meant to be placed on either side of the body to release a full meditative 3-minute healing sound bath that's helped thousands of Tokers with their anxiety.

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The Clear Self Tanner We Cannot Live Without

Amazon

This product will totally change your self-tan routine. Instead of thick and dark foam that stains, this clear liquid gradually darkens skin without streaks. Because it develops over time, you won’t be stuck smelling like chemicals either.

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You Need These Even If You Don't Practice Yoga

Amazon

You can literally do anything and wear anything with these classic black yoga pants that flatter every body type. They’re perfect for chillier mornings and lightweight enough for hot afternoons.

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Put Your Creativity On Display

Amazon

What better project to start on in the new year than with a complete lego flower arrangement? Because who says adults can't build with legos? It’s both mentally engaging and a beautiful decorative accomplishment you can display.

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The Perfect Shoes For Your Weekend Errands

Amazon

There couldn’t be an easier, more affordable shoe out there to style and wear out and about when running errands. These cushioned slides are chic and comfortable and will go with literally anything!

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It's Finally Time To Get The Air Wrap

Amazon

At the very top of the list, without a doubt, is the Dyson Air Wrap Styler. This has been the talk of the town since it hit the market a few years ago and their latest version is even better! This hair tool is an innovative blend of a hair dryer, round brush, and smoothing shine technology to reveal salon-quality blowouts every day no matter your preferred style.

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There Is No Such Thing As Too Trendy

Amazon

Fanny packs aren’t just for your waist anymore. This is totally going to be the new handbag this year. Channel your inner fashion diva and throw this over your shoulder like a crossbody for clever and trendy storage on the go.

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A True Home Movie Moment

Amazon

This has to be one of our top finds of 2022! Make your home your own movie theatre and stream your favorite flix with this portable movie projector that transforms the at-home entertainment experience.

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So Long To The Constant Searching

Amazon

Whether it’s your gym bag, wallet, or car keys, never waste another minute searching for anything with this little gadget. Just pull up your Air Tag app and see exactly where your things are in real time when you attach them to your belongings. You can even ping it to make a sound if you need an extra set of eyes and ears

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So Long To Glue On Falsies

Amazon

Kick your lashes up a notch with this best-selling drugstore mascara that seriously rivals the department store. It gives a feathery soft effect while adding length and volume. We even dare to say they look as good as falsies!

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Um Bathrobe Who?

Amazon

This towel wrap is better than a bathrobe and is perfect for getting ready, self-tanning, or after a shower at the gym. It’s easy to adjust for any size and actually stays up on its own for practical and safe coverage.

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A New Look For Denim

Amazon

This is a version of the classic denim short but totally turned up a notch. The criss-cross front is something we are seeing all over the fashion blogs paired with anything from baggy graphic tees to sleek crop tops.

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Your Vanity Will Thank You

Amazon

For the makeup-loving girl who's vanity is a total mess...your life will totally change once you order this drawstring makeup bag that opens to lay flat on the table in front of you. When you're full glam and ready to go, pack your products back up in one swift motion.

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No Aging To See Here

Amazon

It's never too early to start using anti-aging skincare products. This overnight serum is the perfect place to start and it quickly promotes skin cell renewal and recovery for a luminous complexion. You'll look like you aged in reverse!

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A Bun But Make It Messy

Amazon

Nothing makes a messy bun or pony cuter than these scrunchies specifically! We've never tried an accessory that adds that much volume without feeling heavy. It's literally a second day hair miracle!

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The Best Beauty Gadget There Ever Was

Amazon

This beauty gadget molds ice to the perfect shape for contouring and depuffing all over the face, jawline, and neck. It keeps cold a lot longer than the typical ice roller and is way more comfortable to hold. It's a total game-changer for those puffy eyes in the morning before work.

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A Product That Seals The Slay

Amazon

This award-winning setting spray seals your glam for up to 16 hours and is infused with vitamin C to help brighten and tighten the appearance of your skin. Simply spray all over your face as the final step of your routine and forget about having to worry about a touch-up.

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They'll Think You Just Woke Up Flawless

Amazon

A new year means it's definitely time to order a new beauty blender and freshen up your makeup brush collection. A true beauty guru knows you can’t just use any old brand, though. Real Techniques is a popular and proven product that every girl knows and trusts for flawless application every time!

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Make Your Rental Feel Like Home

Amazon

This year we're cultivating our enviornment at home and these hidden label candles are the perfect decorative addition to any style setup. The marbled container and wooden candle top make it look like a high-quality piece of sculptural decor even when the candle isn't lit.

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Discover The Power Of Personalized Perfume

Amazon

This is the new age and fragrances aren't gender specific according to House of Bo. Indulge in this luxury set of all of the best notes to mix and layer for a personalized scent cocktail.

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For Good Brows Like The Guys

Amazon

It always seems like guys have better lashes and brows than us gals. Well, this product is everything we’ve ever wanted. This boy brow eyebrow gel will make your brows look full and thick and the wax will keep them intact all day long.

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The Perfect Magazine Shelves

Amazon

These acrylic shelves are every fashion and design magazine reader's dream. Display your favorite issues as works of art when you use this invisible and easy-to-install translucent wall shelf.

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We're All Sporty Spice This Year

Amazon

This bike short set is the perfect outfit for a day of errands with its lightweight ribbed material and wide range of options. You won't regret getting one in every color because of how effortlessly sporty and chic you'll look.

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We love bullet journals because of the fact that they're both utilitarian and beautiful, something that we don't see often. While they can be used in place of planners to organize your tasks, grocery lists, and assignments for the days ahead, you can also use them as an art project. We've used ours to create layouts inspired by our favorite fictional characters, songs that we couldn't stop thinking about (check out our Spotify here ;)), and as a vision board for the coming year. However you choose to use your own bullet journal, here are some tips, tricks, and supplies to get you started.

What Is A Bullet Journal?

A bullet journal can honestly be anything you want it to be! It's a habit tracker, a scrapbook, and a calendar, all in one. You can log what you're reading, or keep track of the blessings you see in your life. Here are some terms to know as you embark on your journal journey:

  • Bullet journal (also abbreviated as Bujo): The notebook that you'll be using to journal, arrange your schedule, and/or scrapbook. Bullet journals usually feature dotted pages instead of lined ones so that you can have more freedom to draw inside.
  • Theme: From picking a color palette to making a whole entry about your favorite movie, a theme is what each page (or two pages) in your journal is about.
  • Spread: This is a one- or two-page themed design that all ties together (like the image above).
  • Habit tracker: A habit tracker allows you to keep track of the routines you want to add into your life, like drinking more water, stretching before work, or going on a walk.

How Do You Start A Bullet Journal?

While you can use a bullet journal in place of a planner and draw out your schedule, you can also buy a minimalist planner and just fill in all the blanks. They're the perfect tool for making the ordinary more beautiful *and* more fun.

Is Bullet Journaling Healthy?

There are lots of benefits to journaling. You can use journal entries to process information and emotion, or give your eyes a break from screens if you prefer to use your journal as a scrapbook. Working with your hands to create something beautiful allows you to do something just for the sake of doing it — there are no strings attached when you bullet journal, and since it's something you can keep private, it's one area of life that has zero expectations.

What Are The Most Important Items In Bullet Journaling?

Aside from the journal itself, you definitely need pens to write down all of your goals and plans. Everything else, from highlighters to stickers to glitter, is optional and just makes everything more colorful.

Bullet Journal Tips

Phone Alternative

If you use your journal as a destresser, it can also become a great way to disconnect from your tech. Since it's fun, and it stimulates both your hands and your brain, it's a great way to fill your free time and give your eyes a break from screens. Offload, delete, or log out of all your social media apps, pick up a pen, and start journaling.

Themed Spreads

We love using every area of our lives to reflect the current season — decorating our space, choosing our outfits, even picking certain color palettes for our makeup! Bullet journals are a great way to feel more present by focusing on spreads for each season, holiday, or trip that you're packing for.

Prepping Images

Before printing out the pictures to include in a spread, add them all to a document to see if you like them together. We love looking at colors, composition, and even how zoomed-in a photo is to determine if everything is cohesive. You can also edit the size and contrast, saturation, and brightness of the pictures right inside your document.

Everything You Need For Your Own Bullet Journal

Journals

Papier Joy ($27, was $30)

A baby blue cover will bring you peace of mind during the busiest of days. You can also choose between dotted, blank, or lined pages so that you can make this bullet journal totally yours.

Artist's Loft™ Teal Hardcover Dot Journal ($8)

This dotted journal is a simple option for anyone looking to get into this new hobby, and the bright color makes things more fun. The built-in bookmark means you'll never lose your place.

MOO Perpetual Planner ($26, was $30)

If you want a bullet journal/planner hybrid, opt for this unique pick: there are weekly spreads but no printed dates. That means you can take it one day at a time, skip days, or start planning your summer vacation before January's even over. Oh, there's also grid and lined pages for your doodles and thoughts.

Leuchtturm 1917 Medium Notebook ($16, was $21)

With a blank table of contents, numbered pages, and a pocket for any sticker sheets or photos you want to keep with you, you'll end up using this journal every day of the week.

Pens

Post-it 3pk Felt Tip Pens ($6)

Black pens are definitely something you'll want to use when starting your bullet journal journey. If you're taking notes or drawing out the foundation for your calendar and to-do list, it's helpful to start with black and add the color in later. The felt tips add a little bit of luxury.

BIC Intensity Porous Point Pens ($22 for 20)

Now it's time for the color! Add details and doodles to make your to-do list more fun, or if you're someone who lives and breathes color, you can also just use these for everything.

iBayam Journal Planner Pens ($9)

The great thing about these pens is their fine tips, which makes it easy to add smaller details to the page. The acid-free ink also has minimal bleed through, which is just another reason to love them.

Paper Mate Flair Felt Tip Pens ($13)

We love using Paper Mate pens to take notes in all areas of life, and they're also the perfect marker alternative for bullet journaling. We love that these retro accent colors are more toned-down, but if you're a neon fan, you can't go wrong with the originals too.

Highlighters

Zebra Pen Mildliner Double Ended Highlighter ($18, was $32)

We never realized how much we needed non-toxic highlighters in our life. The water-resistant design will work wonders in your journal and the fact that there are 15 colors means there's a good chance you won't have to buy anymore any time soon.

OOLY Dual Liner Double-Ended Neon Highlighters ($10)

We are big fans of these highlighters. They're cute, they're not too bold, and they feature both a regular tip and a dual tip for unique artwork.

BiC 5pk Highlighter Brite Liner Assorted ($3)

You can't go wrong with a classic, and this BiC product will give you bold color and the choice between fine lines and bold highlighting. Plus, they won't dry out if you leave them uncapped for a few hours.

TWOHANDS Highlighters ($6, was $10)

The large ink reservoir on these highlighters means you can use them in your bullet journal for longer amounts of time. We're obsessed with the pastel shades.

Extras

CarliePeytonCreation 50pcs Friends TV Show Creative DIY Stickers ($7)

We cannot bullet journal without stickers, and Etsy is full of sticker packs featuring your favorite TV shows, movies, and celebrity memes, like this Friends pack.

Fun Express Rainbow 12 x 12 Scrapbooking Paper ($27)

Whether you tear it into artful shapes, cut it with patterned scissors, or use precise lines and angles, scrapbook paper is sure to make your journal spreads more textured and colorful.

Easy Stencil Set for Dotted Journals ($15)

Stencils are great for anyone who isn't confident in their free-handing abilities, or who doesn't want to keep buying stickers. This one features both calendar templates and fun designs!

50 Rolls Washi Tape Set ($13)

Washi tape is one bullet journal accessory that's purely for fun. You can use it to mark your pages, frame a photo, or add just the right amount of color on a neutral page.

Tag us on Instagram with your bullet journal spreads and follow us on Pinterest for more DIY inspiration!

Lead Image by Pexels/Antoni Shkraba

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Of all the things to consider before planning a wedding—like the venue, your elegant dress, and the guest list (just to name a few)— the first thing to align on is your dream engagement ring! If you have a sneaky feeling your partner may be prepping a brave declaration of love, and subsequent bling-y exchange, or you're ready to start manifesting your dream future wedding on your own terms, having a sense of what type of forever jewelry you'd like to flaunt for eternity is a great place to start.

If the jury is still out on exactly what engagement ring style you're most into, allow us to introduce you to 2023's hottest jewelry trend: square wedding rings. Of course, the style you choose to wear should be one that you adore, trends aside, but the square-cut diamond, also known as Princess, Asscher, and Radiant-shaped, is as timeless as they come.

Ahead, find 16 takes on square wedding rings ranging from traditional to more unique. You're sure to fall in love with these eye-catching rings that will hopefully spark wedding bells in your future!

Timeless Square Wedding Rings To Manifest Your Dream Engagement

Shane Co. Natural Diamond Ring ($2,000+)

This natural diamond engagement ring really brings the bling to any hand. You will definitely feel like a princess while it sits nicely on your ring finger!

Brilliant Earth Petite Twisted Vine Diamond Ring ($3,650)

The twisted detail on this engagement ring's band adds some eye-catching visual interest, and who wouldn't want more diamonds to wear? This design is available in a white, yellow, or rose gold metal for the band so you can get the ring finish you've always dreamed of.

KazkaJewelry Dainty 14k Ring ($38+, was $63+)

Prefer a more understated look? Opt for a smaller square wedding ring that still speaks volumes about your love. You can pick the main stone for a personalized element, and it will look amazing on its own or paired with other jewelry.

Blue Nile Petite Solitaire Ring ($490+)

For the more minimalist bride, this engagement ring style still delivers elegance, even in its simplicity. The square-shaped diamond is the star of the show here, and is not to be missed when worn.

A Gilded Leaf Bridal Rose Cushion Morganite Ring ($900)

If you just need some color in your life at all times, look beyond the traditional white (or colorless) diamond and lean toward colored gemstones. This square wedding ring flaunts a morganite gemstone, which has a pink tint to it.

WWAKE Small Nestled Princess Cut Ring ($1,745)

Though this beautiful ring houses a smaller gemstone, the design really emphasizes its beauty. The geometric components add a unique touch to the minimal band, and placing the diamond at an angle gives it an asymmetrical detail. Sometimes less really is more.

Sarah O Jewelry Antique Square Moissanite Side Stones Ring ($2,215)

A bigger square-shaped Moissanite stone is hugged oh-so nicely by two smaller ones on this ring design. Extremely similar to diamond, Moissanite stones still bring the shine.

Luz Jewelry London Ring ($520)

If you see yourself opting for a less traditional engagement or wedding ring as a symbol of your love, this statement design crafted with a London Blue Topaz stone is perfect for you. The stone stands out marvelously against the simple band!

S/H KOH Modernist Signet Ring ($490)

Again, a less traditional design can really shine if it's the right style for you. This signet ring is an artsy take on a colorful square-shaped stone that will look great on the left hand.

Olive Ave Jewelry Asher Ring ($720)

This simple yet elegant ring's square stone is set further up from the band, really emphasizing its shine. The design still remains very sleek, and would look wonderful as an engagement or wedding band style.

Artemer Step Cut Engagement Ring with Eight Square Diamonds ($8,800)

Maybe one diamond is just not enough! Sometimes a girl has to have eight, and we can't blame her. Bring multiple square diamonds together for a ring design that's reminiscent of a signet, all while representing something extremely special.

Tiffany & Co. Tiffany True Ring

If you really want to splurge, this Tiffany & Co. ring is what wedding dreams are made of. It's traditional in its design but still stands out on the finger. And of course, it's crafted with a diamond band that really boosts the sparkle.

Marli New York Rock Square Ring ($1,600)

We love that the band on this ring features scalloped edges. It's a unique touch to the overall shape, and the bold square diamond housed within even more sparkles adds an elegant flair!

Mogga Emerald Blue & Green Teal Sapphire Solitaire Ring ($2,150)

Moving away from a diamond and into a colored stone could be a great way to really embrace your own personal style instead of just opting for a traditional white ring. For the bride that wants some uniqueness and color, this sapphire stone is the one, and it pairs so well with the diamond-set band.

Kay Princess & Round 10K Two-Tone Gold Engagement Ring ($700, was $1000)

A curved band adds an unexpected detail to the ring finger, making this ring design unlike any other. With notes of traditional styles, from the diamond band, to the bright, square-shaped center diamond, this square wedding ring is for the bride that desires a bolder look. Plus, since it's two-tone you can mix and match your jewelry.

Hanna Marie Gropper Fifteen Super Tiny Diamonds Ring ($956)

To be worn alone or as a wedding band, this tiny diamonds design is so feminine and gentle. It still holds a show-stopping sparkle, and will remind you of your love no matter how you choose to wear it!

Time to look for more wedding inspiration? We've got you covered on our site. Check out our newsletter for even more wedding content!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

When the weather gets cold, we love turning inward to explore our shadow side, emotional experience, and deeper needs. Journal prompts are a fantastic way to do that, and there's no better time to put pen to paper than at the end of one year and the beginning of a new one. These winter journal prompts for relationships will help you step outside of your interactions with your partner so you can more objectively gauge whether your needs are being met, how you show up in the relationship, and whether or not the burden of your relationship is falling solely on you. Grab a beautiful notebook or planner and give these prompts some thought.

Photo by Jess Bailey Designs/Pexels

What do I need out of my relationship?

Start off with a misleadingly simple question: What do you need out of your relationship? This isn't the time to be vague. Get detailed about what makes you feel most loved, what makes you feel secure, and what makes you scared.

For example, we've been told over and over that jealousy is an unhealthy emotion, one that we should avoid at all costs. But being jealous is actually very natural. What kinds of qualities would a person have to have in order for you to enjoy the sweet spot between desirability (and occasional jealousy) and trustworthiness? Do you crave freedom to pursue your career and friendships untethered, or are you more of a homebody who wants a family-focused partner?

Be honest with yourself about what you need most, then consider whether or not you're getting what you need. If you're not, that doesn't have to be a deal-breaker; it just means it's time to have an honest conversation with your partner about how you can both get what you need out of the relationship.

And — spoiler alert — what you need out of relationships can change and evolve throughout your lifetime. It's also worth reflecting on how you've grown over the course of time and how your needs might be different now than they were when you and your partner first got together.

What is a major flaw my partner has? How it might feel for them to experience having that flaw?

It's very easy to blame your partner, accuse them of gaslighting when that term might not be appropriate, and generally feel as though they are the main source of any problems in your relationship. But cultivating empathy is crucial for successful relationships.

It's probably no surprise to you that your partner has flaws. If something continually bothers you, it might be worth thinking through how that flaw feels for them. For example, if you sometimes feel that your partner works too much or doesn't prioritize your relationship over their job, try to think through why this might be. Were they encouraged to pursue money or success above all else as children? Did they internalize the message from society that they are what they do, rather than who they are? Think through how it must feel to live with that burden.

None of this absolves your partner from doing their own inner work (we'll get to that in a minute), but having empathy for them and trying to understand where their flaws come from can help you build emotional intelligence and respect.

Is my partner doing their own inner work?

Unfortunately, sometimes we all fall into the trap of stagnation, and for some people, that stagnation can last the entirety of their lives. If you're reading this article, it's likely that you have a growth mindset and want to improve yourself and your relationships with others. Is your partner doing the same?

The point here isn't to blame your partner, but rather to recognize if you're doing all of the emotional labor in your relationship. Think through things like whether or not your partner moderates their emotions, considers new ideas, and pursues things that are challenging for them.

And remember, it's THEIR inner work that you're taking stock of here, not yours... if their version of inner work is going to the gym, while yours is taking a self-care night, those two methods of self-improvement are equally valid.

Photo by MART PRODUCTION/Pexels

What is my love language? What is the other person's love language? How can I speak their language more often?

If you haven't given any thought to your love language, you should (this bookis the seminal text on the subject). Deciphering what makes you feel most loved (and what makes your partner feel most loved) can lead to revelations about how your partner may be showing you love without you recognizing it. Maybe your SO fails to get you cute gifts for Valentine's Day every year, but they give you a big, genuine hug before bed every night. Society may have led us to believe the former is what makes for a conscientious partner, but actually, both demonstrations of love are equally valuable — they're just different love languages.

Once you know your respective love languages, think through some ways you can show your partner love in their language so that they feel seen, appreciated, and understood by you. Communicate your language to your partner, too, so they have a fair shot at showing up for you.

Does my relationship leave me feeling energized or drained?

When you interact with our partner, do you end up feeling criticized, tired, depressed, or just plain blah? Or do they make you feel seen, optimistic, and excited to spend more time with them?

It can be hard to admit when someone you love just isn't making you happy anymore. Like many of the other prompts on this list, your answer to this question doesn't signify that you need to end your relationship — just that you have identified something you need to work on.

If you find, after reflection, that your relationship is draining you, revisit your answer to prompt no. 1. It's time to think through what you need out of your relationship and communicate that to your partner so you have a chance to salvage your connection to each other.

Love these winter journal prompts for relationships? Sign up for our newsletter for more ideas!

Featured photo via Arina Krasnikova/Pexels.

In Selfmade, Brit + Co's flagship community and training program for female founders, we make it a point to celebrate our members' wins on a weekly basis. Launching and running a business can be challenging, so making time for these moments to pause, reflect, and champion the hard work of our members is especially important for us.

That's why we decided to take this culture of celebration a step further and host our inaugural Selfmade Awards, powered by our founding partner, Office Depot OfficeMax.

The ceremony highlighted outstanding individuals from our community who have used creativity and grit to make their dreams come true. We honored 9 exceptional women across different categories:

Grand Prizes

  • Best Launch Award: Awarded to the member who launched their business with technique and charisma! This Selfmade founder pushed the launch scaries aside and strategically planned their launch with great marketing, a solid business plan, market research, and a good design. They carefully crafted their launch approach and saw a great response after!
  • Innovation Award: Awarded to the member whose business idea demonstrates creativity, innovation, and a unique approach! This Selfmade founder reached for the most creative approach when determining how to solve the problem, finding solutions in novice and unseen ways. Their business idea is unique and pushes the limit of the mainstream.
  • Entrepreneur of the Year Award: Awarded to the member who has gone above and beyond the entrepreneurship call. Social media presence? Check her stories. MVP? Download it now. Business Plan? Solid as a rock. Investors? Take a number. She’s working it and making it look good. She’s not without her struggles, but she understands the power of hard work and putting one foot in front of the other.

Honorable Mentions

  • Dream Team Duo: Honoring 2 Selfmaders who worked together to accomplish their goals.
  • Everyday Hero: Honoring the member who best helped their peers across the board.
  • Fresh Take: Honoring the member whose idea/biz with unique features.
  • Notable Newbie: Honoring the member who started with just an idea and ended with a launch.
  • Powerful Pivot: Honoring the member with the best attitude despite any setbacks.
  • Pioneer: Honoring the member who is breaking ground in a new, unexplored area.

We received hundreds of nominations from women who are truly making a difference in the entrepreneurial landscape. As you can imagine, narrowing down the honorees was an incredibly difficult task.

We were inspired by the stories each woman told. Our winners embody the values and spirit of Selfmade: grit, creativity, and ambition. Many had overcome significant obstacles on their journeys and it was amazing to witness first-hand how these women are not only creating impactful businesses but also inspiring others to do the same.

Meet Our Grand Prize Winners

Best Launch Award

Ronda Brittian, founder of Ronda’s Fine Foods: Ronda’s Fine Foods is a woman, minority, and family-owned business that creates delicious and versatile specialty food products featuring family recipes inspired by flavors of the world.

Innovation Award

Coco Harmon, founder of Endora: Endora is a mobile app that works to harness the power of nostalgic reflection so that users can spend less time on their phones comparing and more time reflecting.

Entrepreneur of the Year Award

Christine Tong, founder of Christine My Linh: Christine creates illustrations and stories to guide creative women away from negative self-talk towards building their self-esteem so that they can share their light with the world.

Meet Our Honorable Mention Winners

We’re so excited about this new tradition here at Selfmade and can’t wait for more opportunities to honor the inspiring female founders in our community. Congratulations from the team here at Selfmade and Office Depot OfficeMax to all the winners, and our collective members, for showing us what’s possible when we pursue our passions with fearlessness!

Feeling inspired? Start your free trial of Selfmade to find your calling. Join our growing community of amazing female founders to DIY the business of your dreams!

If you give us a dessert menu, our eyes will always flit to the chocolate option; we can't help it. Not only can chocolate help strengthen your heart health (thank you antioxidants!) but it's also a great option for parties and get togethers of any kind — since the tasty treat can range from bitter to super sweet, everyone can find a chocolate recipe that they want to eat over and over again.

We love that the rich flavor and smooth consistency of chocolate makes it a decadent dessert choice, even if we're just eating a bowl of DIY microwave fondue. But that's the best thing about chocolate recipes: they're easy, they're quick, and they always taste good. You can eat these picks for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert, because there's nothing better than having chocolate all day long.

Bites

Vegan Peppermint Chocolate Bars

If you're a big Andes Chocolate Mints fan, then this recipe's for you. Our favorite part is the fact that they're vegan!

Chocolate Raspberry Panna Cotta Cups

These creamy, bite-sized desserts are the perfect treat for after dinner, after work, or anytime you want one, really.

Chocolate PB+J Banana Bites

We already know that chocolate, banana, and peanut butter go well together, but there are plenty of ways to enjoy the combo outside of a sandwich. Case in point: these sweet treats.

Homemade Chocolate Bonbons

With raspberries, marshmallows, and white chocolate, this is the perfect Valentine's Day dessert.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Easter Egg Fudge

Peanut butter fudge is about to become your new favorite dessert. Add edible glitter for Valentine's Day, colorful sprinkles for Easter, and red, white, and blue crystals for Fourth of July.

Hot Chocolate on a Stick

We're all about hot cocoa mix-ins during the holiday season, but add a romantic flair by filling some heart-shaped silicone moldswith melted chocolate. You can use them for hot cocoa or just eat them right off the stick.

Conversation Heart Bark

Valentine's Day just got a lot sweeter thanks to this recipe. You can make chocolate bark with all kinds of additions like seeds and berries, or swap your go-to hearts for the Friends Conversation Hearts instead.

Vegan Dark Chocolate Truffles

You can make this vegan chocolate recipe in just five steps, which might just make it the easiest upscale dessert ever.

Chocolate-Covered Cheese Bites

30 minutes (or faster if you stick them in the freezer) is all you need to turn cheese and melted chocolate into your new favorite snack.

Hollow Chocolate Confetti Eggs

Get a jump on your Easter prep by perfecting confetti eggs that are filled with all your favorite candy.

Sprinkle Dipped Chocolate Hearts

Get the best of both worlds with this chocolate recipe that features milk and white chocolate. Plus, pink sprinkles, which are arguably the most important.

Chocolate Orange Truffles

Chocolate and orange make a delicious combo, and these truffles pair them together in very a satisfying bite.

Star-Studded Dark Chocolate Cake Bites

If you prefer dark chocolate to milk chocolate for a little less sweetness, then you must try these cake bites. The perfect portion size *and* a starry garnish? Count us in.

Hot Cocoa (And Other Drinks)

Jacques Torres’ Famous Hot Chocolate

You can't go wrong with a mug of hot cocoa on a cold winter night, but our best tip? Add just a sprinkle of sea salt to cut the sweetness.

Spiked Pumpkin Hot Chocolate

Even when it's not PSL season, you can still enjoy this hot cocoa that features pumpkin pie spice, dark chocolate, and rum.

Easy-to-Make Amaretto Mocha

This drink will warm you down to your toes, thanks to the combo of amaretto liquor and hot coffee.

Chocolate Martini

Sweeten up your happy hour with what's basically boozy chocolate milk. Yes, please.

Red Velvet Hot Chocolate

If you thought red velvet cake was your favorite dessert, wait until you try this colorful cocoa take on the recipe. The salted caramel marshmallows make for the perfect finishing touch.

Nutella Hot Chocolate + Marshmallow Sandwiches

Grilled marshmallow sandwiches are our new favorite snack, and we might add some Nutella and PB in there too.

Spiked Chocolate Espresso

This flavorful sip will give you energy and help you unwind, which makes it the perfect drink for your 5-9 routine.

Brownies

Boozy Baileys Brownies

With the sweetness from the brownie and the edge from the Bailey's, you won't regret spiking this dessert. Feel free to dye your frosting whatever color you want.

Decadent Potato Chip Brownies

We already know from chocolate covered bacon that the salt + chocolate combo can't be beat, but the potato chip crumbles on these brownies take things to the next level.

Guinness S’more Brownies

If chocolate is your favorite part of a s'more, baking marshmallows and graham crackers into your go-to brownie recipe only makes sense.

Healthy Brownies

Don't be scared by the fact that this chocolate recipe calls for black beans — you'll barely even taste them.

Cookies, Cakes, Breads, And Donuts

Chocolate Snickerdoodle Cookies

Not a huge fan of stuffing your cookies with snickerdoodle spread? Opt for peanut butter for a chocolate + PB masterpiece or Nutella for some extra cocoa.

Red Wine Pear Cake With Chocolate Ganache

Rich, delicious ganache gets stuffed between two chocolate cakes for an extra dose of cocoa. Pears add the perfect amount of tart flavor.

Baked Hot Chocolate Doughnuts

Dark chocolate chips, espresso powder, and creamy coconut milk all in the same glaze? Say no more.

Cherry Chocolate Oatmeal Banana Bread

Cherries and oatmeal prevent this banana bread from tasting too sweet, but if you're a serious chocaholic, feel free to add cocoa powder into the mix.

No-Bake Snickers Cake

Turn your favorite candy bar into a full-on dessert thanks to this chocolate recipe. A pre-made pound cake means that you don't even need to open your oven.

Vegan Miso Chocolate Cake

This cake makes all kinds of ingredient swaps for a healthier dessert (like oat milk for regular milk and maple syrup for sugar), but it also includes chia seeds which can improve your heart health.

Molten Chocolate Cookie

This single-serve chocolate recipe tastes amazing on its own, or when shared with a loved one.

Gluten-Free Chocolate Cupcakes

A dollop of raspberry jam on top of these cupcakes brings a fruity, tart touch that keeps you from being overwhelmed by the rich chocolate.

Cherry-Chocolate Covered Donuts

All you need for this cherry glaze is cherry preserves and powdered sugar. Go ahead and save some extra to glaze some cookies and cakes, too.

Double Chocolate Banana Pumpkin Bread

We love eating breakfast for dinner, but what about dessert for breakfast? This pumpkin chocolate bread is perfect for anytime of day.

Fun Extras

DIY Chocolate Toolbox

This chocolate recipe gives you a legitimate excuse to play with your food. Who can resist?!

Samoa Girl Scout Cookie-Inspired Popcorn

Girl Scout Cookie season can last all year with this chocolate, caramel, coconut popcorn. Our mouths are watering.

Aphrodisiac-Packed Pots de Crème

Consider this your new favorite date night treat. Add a little bit of rum, or keep it booze-free with vanilla extract. Either way, this chocolate recipe does not disappoint.

Paint Palette Box of Chocolates

Experience a box of chocolates like you never have before with this super artsy and creative recipe. It's almost too cute to eat! (Almost).

Chocolate iPhone

Give your chocolate lots of extra color with "apps" in every shade of the rainbow.

Chocolate Milkshake Waffles

Next time you're in the mood for chocolate chip pancakes, try this waffle recipe instead. The waffles themselves aren't too sweet, which makes it a great option for everyone, especially when paired with your favorite toppings.

Chocolate-Covered Amaretto Strawberries

You've had your fill of regular chocolate-covered strawberries, which is exactly why you need to try this colorful, amaretto-infused version. (Spoiler alert: they're also stuffed with sweet cream cheese).

Chocolate Hummus

If you want a snack that balances sweet and savory, this hummus features chickpeas and sunflower seed butter. Grab all the grapes, banana slices, and strawberries you can find.

Homemade Hot Fudge

The best part about making desserts yourself is that you know exactly what you're adding. In this case, all you need is water, sugar, cocoa, and chocolate.

Hot Cocoa Chicken + Waffles

We thought we loved chicken and waffles before, but adding a touch of chocolate totally transforms it into something new. This is a salty and sweet combination we cannot get enough of.

Chocolate Ring Pops

Using white chocolate for this DIY recipe means that you can make them any color you want — add food coloring and glitter for a monochromatic effect or rainbow sprinkles for a funfetti finish.

Cookie Dough Donut Sundae

You can feel free to save this recipe for summer, or get a head start on perfecting it now. The homemade donuts definitely set it apart from other ice cream sundaes.

Banana Chocolate Ice Cream

You don't need a machine for this two-ingredient ice cream. All you need is bananas, your favorite chocolate-y topping, and a food processor to make this chocolate dream a reality.

Sweet Fruit Dip

Your Galentine's Day brunch will never be the same once you introduce this fruity chocolate dip. After you scoop out the watermelon at the center to make room for the dip, turn it into a watermelon marg so it doesn't go to waste ;).

Campfire Cones

Ice cream, sprinkles, candy, cookies — this is our dessert dream come true.

Nut Butter Spread

Whether you choose to add it to your toast or use it as a fruit dip, you'll want to make sure you always have a jar of this spread on hand.

Follow us on Pinterest for the latest chocolate recipes and unique food trends.

All recipes and images via Brit + Co.