Slow Living Is The Ultimate Way To Stop (& Reverse) Burnout For Good

slow living movement hustle culture 2023

We live in a world that doesn't have any issue with leaving people in the dust. We work fast, drive fast, eat fast, and move fast, all so we can get to the next item on our agenda (which, spoiler alert, we also complete as quickly as we can). Instead of rushing your way through life, consider making a move toward slow living.

Slow living is all about taking your time so that you can actually enjoy the beautiful things and experiences around you as you go. Who wants to wake up one morning at 85 years old, and the only memories you have are the to-do items you checked off your list anyway?

It's all about being intentional with the choices that you make, and spending your time more meaningfully. As someone who lives in one of the most fast-paced cities in the world, I understand if you're feeling hesitant. But even if you aren't ready to overhaul your life, there are a few practices from the slow life movement you can add to your day-to-day to fight burnout. It can be as small as following accounts like Slow Stories that encourage you to live intentionally, or buying a normal alarm clock so your phone is in another room overnight.

Recent trends like quiet quitting or how Marie Kondo isn't tidying anymore reveal how many people have realized that this crazy pace is really just running us into the ground. You're not a robot, so you shouldn't expect your body to go at a superhuman speed! It's vital to set up boundaries so that you are actually able to recharge. We talked to Danielle LaPorte, author of How To Be Loving and creator of the Heart Centered Membership, and Dr. Beth Pausic, Director of Behavioral Health at Hims & Hers, about different ways we can implement intentionality into our daily lives, and how it can benefit our minds and our bodies.


Slowing Down

As we get older and busier, it can be tempting to speed up your life to make room for absolutely everything that comes your way. In reality, we should be doing the opposite. "Most of our personal growth is a lesson in learning to slow down. In our productivity-obsessed societies, slowing down is a revolution," says LaPorte.

"Our psyche and bodies are aching for stillness. But the very concept of slowing down can make us panicky," she continues. "The absence of distractions can make us feel vulnerable, exposed to the whims of our emotions (I'm steady! I'm falling apart! I want the city vibe! I want a 'do not disturb' sign for my entire life!)."

Even though forcing yourself to rest can leave you feeling overwhelmed by thoughts and emotions at the beginning, it's actually beneficial for your mind to process everything that has happened over the day. It'll get easier as you get the hang of it, and will help regulate your emotions and improve your focus.

"Feeling constantly rushed will lead to increased stress," says Pausic. "There are numerous impacts that stress can have on our health, both physical and mental. It isn’t sustainable for our mind and body to remain in this state for long periods of time and you will notice the impact." Slowing down and reducing your stress can improve your sleep, decrease anxiety and irritability, and even give you a stronger immune system and improved digestion.

Being Still

It's fun to discuss the benefits of stillness, but actually putting the lifestyle into practice is easier said than done. After all, it's hard to slow down when you're used to going 100 miles per hour! We've definitely come off a busy week, or even a busy afternoon, and barely been able to sit still.

"Slowing down is about sequencing. It’s not about grinding to a halt or dropping out of your career ambitions (though I highly recommend sabbaticals and radical change.) It’s about when you create stillness," says LaPorte. Make room for these moments in your everyday, like always taking a 10:30 am break for coffee, or implementing a hard stop at the same time every day of your work week.

LaPorte also recommends what she calls a 'stillness sandwich.' "It’s like this: be still in the beginning, rock ’n’ roll in the middle, and be still at the end," she says. At the beginning of anything you do (whether it's the day or a relationship), give yourself time to be still instead of jumping right into your agenda. Since your brain is a blank slate in the morning, LaPorte says it's best to not check your phone, but instead take part in rituals like breath work or gratitude journaling.

"Then, toward the end (of the day, of the project,.. or of a relationship), wrap with active stillness. Think about what you learned that day, where you felt expanded, where you felt contracted. Be still," she says.

Use your cozy night routine to let your mind wander or to practice box breathing (inhale, hold, exhale, and hold for four counts each). Being present, intentional, and grateful can help you focus on what you have instead of always working toward the next big thing. How much of your life right now did you work, pray, or wish for? Were you aware of that fact when you received it, or did you immediately shift to wanting something new?

Letting your brain and soul move slowly can also help you be more aware of the people around you so that you can be a better friend or family member to them. Let's get into some specific areas in which you can practice slow living (plus some book recs from the B+C team):

Work

It might seem counterintuitive, but slowing down can actually improve your workflow. Think of it like charging your phone. If you don't let your phone get all the way to 100%, it will die a lot faster, so giving your brain time to rest will mean that it will work better tomorrow.

"Most times, feeling overwhelmed is a combination of the reality of a hefty workload coupled with time management," says Pausic. "Be mindful about how you are spending your time at work. Be aware of how you are adding to your own stress. Understand that every priority is not a priority. Take some time to figure out what is really important to accomplish first."

Know what your limits are and plan your days and your weeks with those boundaries in mind. You have to protect your time ahead of time so that you don't end up regretting all your commitments retroactively. As far as work itself goes, a clearer focus will help you get your checklist done better and faster.

How Can I Try This?

Set aside time dedicated to only checking emails, take a full lunch break, or give yourself enough time to relax before a meeting. "Plan ahead if you are meeting someone or have an appointment so that you arrive a bit early," Pausic says. "Enjoy not feeling rushed and stressed from being late."

Slow Living Mornings

Image via Sarah Outeiro / PEXELS

Not everyone is a morning person, but giving yourself enough time to actually enjoy your mornings before launching into work will make your day more enjoyable.

"The idea behind an earlier wake up time is so that you don’t feel rushed," says Pausic. "You don’t want to use that time to add in more to do’s. To preserve that extra time as yours, try and prepare what you can the day or evening before. For example, have your outfit picked out or have your bag ready by the door. Use your morning time for self-care, setting your intentions for the day or simply doing nothing."

'Nothing' definitely includes staying off your phone as long as possible. "The mind is very impressionable when we first wake up," says LaPorte. "It's a blank slate, which is why it's best to not check your phone first thing — you are literally programming your brain to fire fire fire on social media's high speed dopamine race." No thanks.

How Can I Try This?

Make a full breakfast and enjoy it sans Netflix, go on a nice walk, or stretch before sitting down at your desk. Wait until you start work to check your phone, or buy a regular alarm clock so that you can keep your phone in the next room all night long.

Taking Time Off

Image via Brit + Co.

We've all come off a vacation feeling just as tired as we were at the beginning...right? It can feel like we're programmed to rest on vacay, but it is definitely another time where you really have to protect your boundaries and figure out what rest looks like for you.

According to Pausic, the key is an intentional schedule. "Look at ways to block times for either minimal or relaxing activity. Time permitting, set aside the last day of vacation to do the least amount of running around. Having a day to decompress before you return can help with the fatigue of an otherwise busy holiday."

The common thread between every ideal vacation is making sure you don't overbook yourself, and giving yourself permission to do nothing if that's what you need. Somewhere along the lines we decided that doing nothing was harmful instead of beneficial, and that's just not the case, especially when you're overworked.

How Can I Try This?

The most important thing that you can do is tailor your vacation based on what you know you need. If you are short on sleep and need a physically restful vacation, sleep in everyday. If your brain needs a break, spend all day walking around town or going to an art museum, and if you need to rest your hands, engage your mind with a personal growth book or some creative writing prompts.

Self-Care in Slow Living

Image via Brock Wegner / Unsplash

A variety of the elements that make up slow living can also be found in self-care, which means that you can engage in both at the same time! Mindfulness, self-awareness, and relaxation are all key ingredients to our favorite kinds of self-care days. "Be aware of small things throughout the day," Pausic says. "What is your first taste of morning coffee like? Notice the light during the winter afternoon or other seasonal changes."

Giving your brain the space it needs to create original thoughts and work through emotions can help you zero in on the areas of your life that need a little TLC.

"The first rule of self-care is to actually do something that is self-care!" says Pausic. Scrolling through Instagram or filling your free time with to-dos won't make you feel anymore rested.

"Self-care activities should be something relatively healthy that you enjoy and makes you feel good," she continues. "Only you can define that for yourself. If you want to set up a regular practice for self-care, then you have to be mindful about setting time aside to do those things. Don’t think of it as an indulgence, but as something to be incorporated into your routine that will benefit your well-being and make it easier to deal with things when they do get overwhelming."

How Can I Try This?

Spend time on an activity that allows you to set the pace but also engages your mind and your hands, like crafting the perfect iced coffee or doing a puzzle.

Subscribe to our email newsletter for the latest health and wellness content, and check out our interview with Erin Loechner to learn more about slow living.

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

Header image via Brock Wegner / Unsplash

This post has been updated.

We all have big feelings. And thanks to social media and rising levels of anxiety, those feelings, well, feel bigger than ever. That’s exactly where resources like Wondermind come in. The self-proclaimed “mental health ecosystem” is all about exploring, discussing, and navigating our emotions together. This Mental Health Awareness Month, Wondermind wants you to live your mental health journey in community because Mandy Teefey, who co-founded the company with daughter Selena Gomez, knows what it’s like to walk that journey alone.

Image via Wondermind

“As I went through a very long journey of finding I did have a mental health diagnosis — and then I was misdiagnosed and then I had to go through that — I was blessed to have the resources to do that,” Teefey, who received an ADHD and trauma diagnosis after a 20-year bipolar misdiagnosis, says. “Whenever I started my journey of discovering what mental condition I had…I didn't have anybody to lean into or explain the way I was feeling.”

While these personal experiences helped Teefey better understand mental health, it wasn’t until she produced Netflix’s 2017 series 13 Reasons Whythat she saw just how far the mental health conversation goes. The hit show went viral almost as soon as it aired because of its realistic depiction of mental health and all the aftershocks of trauma.

“After we did 13 Reasons Why and saw the reaction and the need for that support, me and Selena were trying to really figure out what could be next,” Teefey says. “Everybody was releasing things [at] different times. It's like you have to have 12 apps to have a program, and then remember to use them all. So that's when we decided to create a mental fitness ecosystem. So it's all-encompassing, but there's something for everyone.”

“We're not a medicinal company [but] we do have an advisory committee that oversees everything that we do,” Teefey continues. “We're technically not doctors, but we are for everyone when it comes to feelings. Everybody has feelings and they can go to our content hub and just kind of explore that for a while.”

Image via Brit + Co

Admittedly, that exploration bit is pretty fun. The articles are inspiring, and the worksheets (which are each created by an expert) are incredibly helpful. Seeing every program, article, and podcast episode feels like an opportunity to start fresh, but once you have all the ideas in front of you, what do you actually do? Teefey recommends journaling, even if it’s just a sentence every day. (She also loves watching journaling videos from Planning Annie: “Anytime I'm feeling sad or like a little unmotivated, I put her on.”)

Journaling every day, even if your entries are short, allows you to track your mood over an extended period of time. If you notice a consistent sadness, for example, it could be a sign it’s time to check in with your doctor. Plus, journaling can help prepare you for the conversations mental health appointments bring up.

“Sometimes if you go into a therapy session and you're not really settled or concrete in who you are and what may be going on, you might go through what I went through, which is being misdiagnosed,” Teefey says. “It's more important for you to know who you are and what you need prior to going in. So you can give that to them instead of them guessing and working around that process with you.”

Image via Brit + Co

Establishing a consistent routine can help decrease your stress, whether you’re eating the same breakfast every day, or you stick to a tried and true skincare regimen like Sydney Sweeney’s Cassie does on Euphoria. I immediately thought of this teen drama when Mandy Teefey mentioned how important her 4 a.m. routine is. But while Cassie spends time doing her skincare and makeup, Teefey spends time nurturing her soul.

“If I don't have [that routine], I'm usually really off kilter,” she says. “So I get up at 4 when everyone's still asleep, and I found that time could be about me, and I'm not taking it away from anybody. And so that's really what helped me be more grounded throughout the day.”

I can attest that my own quiet time in the morning is vital for a successful day — as is knowing what my boundaries need to be. Because honestly, boundaries can change daily! Teefey and I both acknowledge we have to stay away from sad music to protect our mental health, and she also recommends staying off social media when you feel your mental health struggling.

“I can go three days without looking at social media and then when I go on there, I start having anxiety because I'm like, ‘Oh my gosh, I haven't liked this person. I haven't even liked our own pictures [for] Wondermind.’ And then I start feeling guilty,” she says. “There's just some kind of [expectation] to do social media and you really don't. Not everybody needs to know everything, you know? There's beauty in privacy.”

Even Selena Gomez admitted at the 2024 Time100 Summit that taking time off Instagram "was the most rewarding gift I gave myself."

Image via Brit + Co

The idea of staying off social media is way easier said than done (speaking from first hand experience here). If you feel like you’re drowning in engagement announcements, anxiety-inducing news, and FOMO, Teefey recommends keeping tabs on your reactions to gauge when it’s time to take a serious break.

“If it invokes any emotion that is a negative emotion, I [know] it's not worth being angry about, it's not worth losing sleep about,” she says. “It just feels like there's an unintentional taunting on social media and, ‘Wait a minute, is that about me?’ You don't know this person and then you start running with all this stuff in your mind.”

Like every area of life, social media is all about balance, and if you’re looking to unplug while still staying informed, Mandy Teefey recommends bringing a journal with you when doing your morning news scroll — that way, you can process emotions while keeping tabs on what’s happening. “If anything evokes emotion, I'm meditating during the quiet time,” she says.

Studies have found journaling can help decrease your anxiety, and that it can help you break obsessive thought cycles. And while you’re the only one who can process your thoughts and emotions, it’s important not to isolate yourself from your community — especially when you’re struggling. “You gotta build trust and you gotta build the boundary of who you volunteer [your] help to,” she says.

When it comes to her own daughters, Mandy Teefey knows it’s a process. “You have to work with them and meet them where they're at, and then see the help they need and don't assume [they’re going through] what you went through,” she says. “You've got to really understand them to be able to give that advice.”

Image via Natalie Rhea

In her own life, Mandy Teefey got to experience building that trust first-hand with Selena Gomez! “One time it was very, very cold in California and me and Selena were on the opposite sides of the pool,” she says. “We were in sweats and she says, ‘Do you trust me?’ And I went, ‘Yeah.’ And she goes ‘Okay, if you trust me, on three, we're gonna jump in this ice cold pool.’”

While Teefey wasn’t convinced, she trusted Gomez, and they both ended up in the freezing cold water! Which is both a funny story and a fond memory: “We couldn't get out of the pool because [our clothes were] so heavy. It was madness!”

“There's a lot of things I know my daughters don't tell me and that's their right,” she continues. “It's so sensitive between teenagers — especially teenagers — and their parents. They're going through that phase and they don't want to be around them and they don't wanna tell them things. It's definitely not easy but maybe put some feelers out there and just make sure that they know you're there and make it okay to have these conversations.”

Thanks to all this actionable advice, we know that Mental Health Awareness month isn’t limited to TikTok videos or Instagram posts we can reshare. There are real tips we can use to take care of ourselves — and a place to go when we need a boost.

Watch Our Full Interview With Mandy Teefey Here!

youtu.be

Wondermind Co-Founder Mandy Teefey Helps Us Navigate Big Feelings For Mental Health Awareness Month

If you're struggling with your mental health, check in with your doctor or check out the mental health resources Wondermind offers. You can also use Psychology Today to find a therapist near you.

Lead image via Getty

I'll admit out of the many teen dramas I've consumed, Outer Banks is one of the most ridiculous. But the insanity surrounding the plot is half the reason it's enjoyable! John B. wrestling an alligator with his bare hands? Kiara getting kidnapped then making a daring escape in her PJ's? John B. and Sarah getting married (kind of) by the power of "the sky, the stars, and the sea" after escaping the SBI?

Considering my favorite fan theory for the future is that Madelyn Cline's Sarah and Rudy Pankow's JJ learn they're secret siblings, I know the crazy train isn't slowing down anytime soon. I took to Reddit to find the wildest Outer Bankshot takes and I was not disappointed. Keep reading to see if you agree with any!

JJ and Kiara Never Should Have Happened

Image via Netflix

While JJ and Kiara is one of the most popular ships on the show, a lot of Outer Banks fans think the "no Pogue-on-Pogue macking" rule from the pilot should have stayed in effect. The individual romances between Kiara and JJ, John B., and Pope make the story really messy, and the fact the show writes Kiara to be with all three of them in the span of three years gives a lot of viewers the ick.

I'll be team #Jiara forever (and literally screamed when The Backseat Lovers' "Kilby Girl" started playing during the motorcycle ride in season 3), but I'll say it would incredibly compelling to see a friend group take care of each other as much as the Pogues do without ever crossing over into romantic territory. That's found family, after all!

Pope Should Have Ditched The Treasure Hunt

Image via Netflix

One Reddit user is convinced that "Pope should’ve focused on his future in school instead of giving everything up to search for treasure." And TBH, I totally agree.

In season 1, Pope has a breakthrough about the hidden treasure in the middle of his scholarship interview. He ditches the scholarship committee to tell the rest of the Pogues, throwing away a crazy educational opportunity. Pope beats himself up for it, and his parents definitely aren't pleased, but at least it meant he got to stay in the show instead of leaving for college, which leads me to...

Outer Banks Should Have Started With The Pogues In Their 20s

Image via Netflix

As one of the only people alive who loves the post-time jump One Tree Hill, I would have loved to see OBX start off with the characters in their 20s (although it looks like that's where Outer Banks season 4 will pick up!). This would eliminate SO MANY problems from the jump because the Pogues wouldn't have to worry about missing school, they'd be more self-sufficient, and instead of being the same old high school drama, it could have provided a commentary on figuring out life in your 20s the same way Friends did.

Rafe Shouldn't Have Any Kind Of Redemption Arc In Outer Banks Season 4

Image via Netflix

Drew Starkey the man that you are. According to one Reddit user, "Rafe should not have a love interest or a redemption arc" like we see in season 3. We spent all of season 1 and season 2 establishing that Rafe (played by Drew) would do anything it took to get what he wanted (including one successful murder and two other attempts?!). He shows next to no remorse for his actions, and exploring his literal psychopathic tendencies would take the show to a whole new level.

Big John Should Never Have Returned

Image via Netflix

John B.'s dad's disappearance is the catalyst for the Pogues' journey at the beginning of Outer Banks, and Big John's return means the story feels somewhat repetitive in the third season, and it undoes a lot of the growth we've seen from John B. Plus, Big John is just SO chaotic, selfish, and dramatic. If he had truly died in season 1, we could have seen John B. wrestle with that finality, and how to cope with loss in the face of finding the treasure and falling in love with Sarah.

And Finally, Outer Banks Should Have Ended After Season 1

Image via Netflix

Outer Banks season 1 was exactly what we needed at the height of the pandemic. It was escapist — both in terms of the beach vacation vibes, but also because the '00s aesthetic took us right back to simpler times — and it had such a wonderfully resolved finale that some fans think nothing has matched it.

Do you agree with any of these Outer Banks opinions? I'm such a romance fan, I don't know what I'd do if the show didn't have JJ and Kiara get together! Check out all the best New TV Shows coming this year for more.

Lead image via Netflix

Traveling can be so rewarding; new experiences lend to a broader and more understanding mindset and taking time away from your everyday routine can feel like a much-needed breath of fresh air. Whether you’re headed away on a quick weekend accompanied only by a carry-on, or jet setting on a bachelorette trip to celebrate a lifelong girlfriend, trips are good for the mind, body, and soul.

While the positive aspects that accompany traveling are plenty, it’s completely normal to experience anxiety around this process as well. It’s inevitable that each time you take a trip you’re usually forced to encounter one uncomfortable situation or another; planned or not. Maybe your flight gets delayed, your friend can no longer watch your pet while you’re away, or you get sick just days before heading overseas; the unpredictability of travel can be extremely anxiety-inducing, and we get that.

Instead of leaving you to fly solo to stress about the potential anxieties of any upcoming trips you may have on your calendar, we spoke with California-based mental health professor, Dr. Ishan Shivanandwho has experience in groundbreaking protocols for reversing symptoms of stress, anxiety, depression, and more.

What is anxiety?

Photo by Liza Summer/PEXELS

Dr. Shivanand describesanxiety as "a complex state that can manifest in various forms and intensities, affecting both the mind and the body." He continued, saying, “At its core, anxiety involves feelings of worry, fear, and unease, often accompanied by physical symptoms such as increased heart rate, sweating, trembling, and difficulty concentrating. One way to understand anxiety is to think of it as the mind being overwhelmed by the multitude of thoughts, concerns, and stimuli bombarding it at any given moment. Just like a computer with too many open applications, the mind struggles to process everything efficiently, leading to a sense of being scattered and unable to focus.”

Why do I get anxious when I travel?

Image via Cora Pursley/Dupe

When it comes to anxiety specific to travel, the reason for why you may experience these uncomfortable feelings could be due to a multitude of reasons and can vary in intensity from person to person. Dr. Shivanand shared that travel anxiety could be in part due to “fear of the unknown, fear of safety, fear of flying, control issues, and past traumatic experiences,” as well other areas of anxiety including “separation anxiety, social anxiety, and health anxiety.” Dr. Shivanand went on to explain that, although fun, “traveling often involves stepping outside of one's comfort zone and encountering unfamiliar situations, environments, and people. For some individuals, the uncertainty of what to expect can trigger feelings of anxiety.”

No matter why you experience anxiety related to travel, “It's important to recognize that travel anxiety is a common and valid experience, and there are various strategies and coping mechanisms available to help manage it,” offered Dr. Shivanand. “These may include relaxation techniques, cognitive-behavioral strategies, gradual exposure to anxiety-provoking situations, seeking support from mental health professionals, and planning ahead to minimize stressors during travel.”

​How can I control my travel anxiety ahead of my upcoming trip?

Photo by Vlada Karpovich/PEXELS


  • Plan and Prepare in Advance: “Plan your trip ahead of time to reduce uncertainty,” says Dr. Shivanand. “This includes booking accommodations, transportation, and activities in advance, as well as familiarizing yourself with the destination, and local regulations.” Having a loose agenda of things to look forward to when your trip starts is a great way to get excited when thinking about traveling, instead of stressed.
  • Practice Relaxation Techniques: “Incorporate relaxation techniques such as deep breathing and meditation to calm and center yourself. [Yoga of Immortals] Breathwork and Advance Cognitive sessions can really help,” says Dr. Shivanand. As the founder of the Yoga of Immortals practice, he uses its principles in his everyday life and has seen how it can positively impact the lives of others from a mental health standpoint. However, any type of yoga, meditation, and other similar practices you're familiar with should help.

Image via Andrew Worung/Dupe

  • Create a Checklist: “Create a checklist of essential items to pack and tasks to complete before your trip to stay organized and minimize last-minute stressors,” shared Dr. Shivanand. “Organizing your belongings and documents can also help you feel more in control during your travels.” The simple task of crossing off packing items from a list can feel cathartic and ensure you don’t forget anything essential during your travels.
  • Stay Connected: “Maintain communication with friends or family members before, during, and after your trip,” Dr. Shivanand recommends. “Knowing that you have someone to reach out to for support or guidance can provide reassurance and alleviate feelings of isolation.” News flash, the people you care about care about you too! They’ll be happy to hear from you and walk you through any tough feelings, if need be.
  • Stay Grounded: “Practice mindfulness and grounding techniques to stay present and centered during your travels,” shared Dr. Shivanand. Embrace the ‘pinch me’ moments of your trip as they happen, this is why you’re traveling in the first place after all!

Photo by Cliff Booth/PEXELS

  • Seek Professional Support: “If travel-related anxiety significantly impacts your ability to engage in travel experiences, consider seeking support from a mental health professional,” says Dr. Shivanand. Listen; asking for help is okay, and something that you should do if it will have a positive impact on your life.
  • Incorporate Meditative & Wellness Daily: In doing so, Dr Shivanand says, "One can effectively manage travel-related anxiety and enjoy your travel experiences with greater ease and confidence.” Dr. Shivanand reiterates that “it's okay to seek support and take proactive steps to prioritize your mental well-being during your travels.”

Looking for more travel tips? Be sure to sign up for our weekly email newsletter so you never miss a thing!

Header image via Cora Pursley/Dupe

Mariska Hargitay is the woman of the hour anywhere she goes, with her iconic Law & Order: SVUrole as Olivia Benson under her belt for the last 25 years. The character is an absolute advocate to women — and assault victims of any gender — through her words, actions, and powerful convictions of each perpetrator on the show. She takes great care with her victims and pursues perpetrators with fervor, and slowly as you watch the show..the line blurs between Olivia and Mariska.

This isn't anything new — just recently Mariska literally stopped production on the show to help a child (who mistook her for an actual police officer) find her mom. It's just who Mariska is. She walks the walk and talks the talk — including during her speech at Variety's Power of Women's Power of Women event.

Image via NBC Universal

As a Power of Women honoree, Mariska was recognized in regards to her work as an advocate for sexual assault survivors. She took the stage and used her platform to discuss rape and assault conviction reversals, shining a light on the recent overturned ruling in Harvey Weinstein's landmark NYC case. Here's what she said:

Today I want to talk about reversing convictions, and more specifically I want to talk to you about how impossible it is to reverse mine. It’s impossible to reverse my conviction that survivors matter. It is impossible to reverse my conviction that what happens to us matters, and that our society must respond to survivors with a more a compassionate, holistically, deeper, and more nuanced understanding of what healing means.

It is impossible to reverse my conviction that after a trauma, survivors can reclaim lives of hope, of possibility, of audacious risk, beautiful intimacy, and glorious, glorious abundant joy. And I stand before you as evidence of that statement.

It is impossible to reverse my conviction that we must listen to survivors as experts on what justice means. It is extraordinary how little their voices are consulted, let alone incorporated, in the process of deciding how to repair harm. Justice is not a one-size-fits-all journey.

It is impossible to reverse my conviction that patriarchal impunity has to end. Patriarchal impunity is when a male-dominated system exempts perpetrators from punishment. Studies show that only 20% of all rape cases in the U.S. are reported to the police, and that between 5 and 0% of all rapes result in a guilty plea or a conviction. So why do 80% of victims not report? Because they're met with a system that grants impunity to perpetrators; a system that blames victims; a system that accepts only those victims who are experienced as "real" rape; a system that completely misunderstands the neurobiology of trauma, which causes behavior in women that doesn't fit the picture of how a "real victim" would act.

Is that change needed that victims should just pull themselves together? Just buck up and report anyway? No. No, it's the system that receives them that needs to change

It is impossible to reverse my conviction — and the conviction of my extraordinary team, The Joyful Heart — that the backlog of untested rape kits can be brought to zero; that the testing of all new kits must be mandated; that we need a statewide kit tracking system; and that survivors have the right to access the status of their kits.

It is impossible to reverse my conviction that grammar — yes, grammar — that we use when we speak about rape must change. In the sentence, "A woman is raped," there's a crime and there's a victim, but there's no perpetrator. Where's the perpetrator? Where is he? Statistically, as we know, most likely he's walking free. He's so free that he doesn't even appear in the language about the crime that he committed. Is that not extraordinary? It's extraordinary that in the very grammar, the perpetrator goes free. Reintroducing perpetrators in the language of rape will make some very unwieldy grammar, but that's the nature of change. It's unwieldy, it's messy, it's uncomfortable, but it's necessary.

Image via NBC Universal

Hargitay continued on in her prolific speech to describe that rape shouldn't be considered a "crime of passion" because it's "not simply the next step in the trajectory of his passion" when a man takes a consensual hookup too far and assaults a woman against her will. She stated that it's "an exercise of power," doubling down that the language we use is important.

The speech went on to address that rape is both about power and control, as a "construct" that was "built, and assembled, and reinforced over time." She noted that there are people with these positions of power — and she specifically called out those in the entertainment industry — that could make a difference and aligned themselves to victims and survivors.

After this and some other remarks, Hargitay specifically called out the Weinstein conviction reversal. She said:

I do want to say something about the Harvey Weinstein conviction, specifically about the reason that it was overturned: too many women's voices. Too many women's voices were allowed to speak. Hallelujah! Amen! I can't imagine anything more beautiful than that. The Daily podcast episode talked about how it was so risky for the prosecution to have that many women testify. Risky to let women speak? You're damn right it is!

Too many women speaking brings change. Too many women speaking shakes the establishment. Too many women means we get listened to more, and people might actually hear what we have to say. Look what happened when women started saying just two words, right? Me too — just as an example — a tidal wave of change. Me too.

And then of course, there was the response: the Me Too Movement. The backlash. The examination of whether the changes that have come are lasting, or are even positive. Of course there's a backlash! What did they expect? For women to speak repeatedly, loudly, together, with a purpose — for there to be no backlash? The backlash is evidence of how powerful those voices were, how powerful those voices ARE.

Watch Mariska Hargitay's Full Speech Here

www.youtube.com

Mariska Hargitay's Gets Emotional as She Thanks Her Support System and the Women Around Her

Turns out that your TV heroes really can be your IRL heroes after all. Long live Olivia Benson! Long live Mariska Hargitay!

Follow us on Facebook for more celebrity and pop culture news.

Header image via NBC Universal

After Emily in Paris season 3 dropped on Netflix in December of 2022, we were hoping to get the fourth installment of the hit show in 2023. But production halted when the WGA writers' strike, then the SAG-AFTRA actors' strike went to affect, and our beloved cast and crew campaigned for better wages and industry protection. But with the end of the writers' strike, and new SAG negotiations, Emily in Paris season 4 finally began production in February 2024 — and I can already tell you there's sure to be plenty of drama and French fashion this time around.

Not only will we see Emily in Paris (see what I did there?!) but she's also pulling an Audrey Hepburn and taking a little Roman Holiday. That's right — our favorite Parisians are heading to Italy! If that doesn't sound like a dreamy comfort show then I don't know what does. Here's everything we know about the upcoming season of your favorite TV brain candy!!

Is Emily in Paris season 4 coming soon?

Image via Lily Collins/Instagram

Via Variety, Emily in Paris season 4 began production in Paris the week of January 15! "Did someone say Saison Quatre?!" Lily Collins says in her Instagram post announcing production. "Finally reunited with my @emilyinparis fam back in Paris and it feels so good. Although, I may need to brush up on my selfie skills for Emily’s sake…"

Now the wait is over! According to the official announcementfor Emily in Paris, we know part one drops on Netflix August 15, followed by part 2 on September 12. I've been impatiently waiting for this considering we didn't know how filming would be impacted by things like the WGA writers strike!

Is Emily in Paris filmed in Paris?

Image via Lily Collins/Instagram

Yes, Emily in Paris is filmed on location in Paris! We got our first look at Emily in Paris season 4 when Lily Collins and Ashley Park were seen filming in the City of Love (via Daily Mail). The costumes for the series are still as bold and bright as ever, with Ashley's Mindy wearing cobalt and metallic boots, and Lily's Emily dressed head-to-toe in lemon yellow. I can't wait to see what these best friends get up to this season! Check out our Paris travel recommendations to live out your own Emily in Paris dreams ;).

On April 27, Lily Collins confirmed Emily in Paris season 4 had wrapped its France shoot and that the cast & crew have swapped the City of Love for the Eternal City! "When you’re the first ones on the dance floor at the Paris wrap party. Next stop: Rome!" she says on Instagram. Late spring is literally the perfect time to film in Italy and I just know this season is going to give me more wanderlust than ever before. I need gelato!

What's Emily In Paris season 4 about?

Image via Netflix

Season 3 left us with a huge cliffhanger: Alfie breaks up with Emily, Camille learns she's pregnant with Gabriel's baby, Benoit's "Mon Soleil" has been chosen for the Eurovision Song Contest, and Emily and Gabriel realize they've been in love with each other the whole time. Whew.

Emily in Paris season 4 will have a ton of cliffhangers to bring full circle, and a bunch of damage that all the characters need to heal. We know from the Netflix TUDUM fan event that we might also see Emily have to deal with an ultimatum head-on, as well as an unexpected twist. Plus, it looks like she's heading on a "Roman holiday," according to lead actress Lily Collins. We'll take any nod to an Audrey Hepburn movie, please and thank you!

Is Alfie coming back in season 4 of Emily in Paris?

Image via Netflix

We don't have OFFICIAL word on whether Alfie (played by Lucien Laviscount) will return for Emily in Paris season 4, but we're hoping for his sake that he gets some closure. Lucien wants to come back as well! "[The dream is] to keep this gravy train going and just to kind of really live in this world a little bit longer," he says in an interview with Elle. " The writers on the show and the creators behind it and everyone that comes into contact with it is so amazing and fantastic. Their minds [have] way, way, way, way surpassed mine. So, yeah. I’ll let them do their thing.”

Who else is in the Emily in Paris season 4 cast?

Image via Netflix

We can expect the rest of the cast — Lily Collins as Emily, Lucas Bravo as Gabriel, Ashley Park as Mindy, Camille Razat as Camille, Philippine Leroy-Beaulieu as Sylvie, Samuel Arnold as Julian, and Bruno Gouery as Luc — to return.

Will there be a season 5 of Emily in Paris?

Image via Marie Etchegoyen/Netflix

It looks like Emily in Paris season 4 will not be the final season, according to creator Darren Star. “There’s a lot more story to tell here and we’re not wrapping things up anytime soon,” Star tells Elle. “And also hopefully season four isn’t the end either. I feel like we’re all creatively feeling like we’re in the middle of something not heading towards the end.”

Darren also told Deadline season 4 is "not necessarily conceived as a final chapter. I think like every other show, it’s a rich ensemble. There’s no end in sight until everybody feels like it’s time to end. And I don’t think this show is limited by a number of seasons, I think it’s limited by everybody’s enthusiasm and excitement about doing it and telling stories about these characters."

We'll take as many seasons of Emily in Paris as they'll give us!!

What has the cast said about Emily in Paris season 4?

Image via Marie Etchegoyen/Netflix

Lucas Bravo told People he's excited for a coming-of-age for Gabriel. "When you start a character, then there's a year where you experience the world and you mature, you become another person and you come back and it's exactly the day you left off," he says. "I'm happy that in season four I'll be able to bring more of what I became and what I've experienced in the past four years."

Even though Lily Collins is now an executive producer, she doesn't want to know TOO much about the future of the show. “Darren and I speak, on occasion, about where he’s thinking of going, but he also doesn’t wanna spoil too much for me because there is a fine line,” she tells Collider. “I don’t wanna know everything because I want to be led with the writing, but I am also curious because, as a producer wanting to celebrate the other characters, I’m very curious to see what their trajectories are."

What happened at the end of Emily in Paris season 3?

Image via Netflix

To be fully prepared for Emily in Paris season 4, it's important to remember just what happened during season 3! The junior season was a bumpy ride for Emily, and it ends with the craziest finale yet. After Camille and Gabriel decide to get married, Camille stops the wedding, saying she knows Gabriel is in love with Emily instead of her. This declaration leads Alfie to break up with our leading lady because he refuses to be her second choice (and honestly, I respect it). That's not the only shocker because Camille also reveals that she's pregnant with Gabriel's child, which comes as a surprise to everyone. Meanwhile, Mindy learns Benoit has submitted a song (specifically "Mon Soleil") to the Eurovision Song Contest and Laurent has his heart set on opening a club in Paris.

Are you excited for Emily in Paris Season 4? Give us your craziest theory in the comments, and check out our Facebook for more pop culture news. Read up on how This Emily In Paris Theory Could Be Why Emily And Gabriel Aren’t Together (Yet).

Lead image via Netflix.

This post has been updated.