If you plan on eating any of the following dishes, you might want to run a half marathon before, ’cause uh-oh: The calorie and fat content of many meals at national chain restos would take a lotta running, jumping and climbing to burn off. We’re all about treating yo’self (ALL about it), but the following 15 meals push it. They push it real good. We gathered the behind-the-bun info on the calories these dishes hide, the workouts you don’t want to do to burn off said cals and some healthy alternative recipes to let you give into the craving in a little healthier way. Yeah, we got your back ;)

1. Red Robin Monster Burger: Yup, you’d have to go on a brisk 12-hour walk to burn this off. That’s half a day of walking. At 3,540 calories, this burger is equal to 12 Burger King cheeseburgers, and because Red Robin is home to the oh-so-considerate bottomless fries, the calories of this meal could be infinite! (via Fox News)

Let’s just all sink our teeth into Indian-spiced veggie burgers and yuca fries instead of pulling a Forest Gump, mmmkay?

2. Outback Steakhouse Kookaburra Wings: Eat these wings and you’ll find yourself jumping rope for three hours to burn off the fat. Their 1,992 calories are equal to 43 strips of bacon, and they contain two-days worth of sodium intake. (via BuzzFeed)

If it’s that buffalo wing flavor you’re after, we’ve got you covered with pizza, taquitos and sliders topped with the stuff.

3. Cheesecake Factory Farfalle With Roasted Chicken + Garlic: Consider this a dish that could potentially be good for you gone very wrong. This one packs a whopping 2,410 calories. (via Business Insider)

Can’t say no to pasta? Who can!? Here are some healthier ways to prepare it at home, including our meat-free and gluten-free spaghetti squash version.

4. Uno’s Deep Dish Cookie: Sure, this dish is tempting. But an 180-pound man would have to run 20 miles to burn off its calories. That’s almost a marathon! We’re pretty sure the average human doesn’t do that every day. (via Uno’s Chicago Grill)

Guess what?! You can still get your chocolate chip cookie fix in a healthier way with the help of chickpeas, egg whites and coconut milk. Mmm.

5. Friendly’s Giant Crowd Pleaser: This one calls for over five hours on the StairMaster. You’d have to have a lot of friends to keep your intake to a reasonable serving size. (via BuzzFeed)

Instead, check out these vegan + Paleo friendly ice cream recipes. Heck! Even our brown sugar bourbon ice cream is healthier than this… and tastier, too, if we do say so ourselves.

6. Cheesecake Factory Reese’s Peanut Butter Cheesecake: We all know the rumors about Cheesecake Factory’s menu items. Turns out those whispers about their menu’s calories, fat and exponential serving sizes are all true. At 1,500 calories you’d have to run 15 miles to burn off this bad Larry. (via Fox News)

May we suggest an alternative? Our no-bake salted caramel cheesecake in a jar is just waiting to satisfy that salty sweet craving that’s yearning inside of you.

7. Famous Dave’s Big Slab of St. Louis-Style Spareribs: This meal contains 1.5 pound of meat. Say hello to 2,770 calories at 4,320 milligrams of sodium. Or, say hello to these tasty homemade BBQ ideas for more than just ribs. (via Business Insider)

8. BJ’s Signature Deep Dish Chicken Bacon Ranch Pizza: Here we have 2,160 calories of dough, cheese, chicken, bacon and Ranch dressing. Perhaps plan on biking to dinner, because you’re going to need to push those pedals for 5.5 hours to burn this bad boy off. (via Business Insider)

There are also about a thousand variations of pizza you can make at home, and we personally like one with a crispy crust, that can be made in 15 minutes using nothing more than skillet.

9. Cheesecake Factory French Toast Napoleon: Truly the breakfast of champions, you’d have to swim laps for seven hours to burn off these 2,900 calories of sugar, fat and wait for it… more sugar. (via Chowhound)

Worry not, you can still make your French toast pretty indulgent with our pumpkin French toast waffles.

10. Chevy’s Fresh Mex’s Super Cinco Combo: Mmm, pass the sodium, please. This offering of enchiladas, tacos and tamales provides you with 1,920 calories and 36 grams of saturated fat. Finish off the goods and we’ll see you on the court for a 3.5 hour tennis match. (via Business Insider)

But wait! Look! Here are some healthier tacos and enchiladas made with all your favorite fall ingredients!

11. TGIFriday Chipotle Yucatan Salad: At 860 calories this dish is tame compared to the other aggressors on this list, but it’s a salad — it’s supposed to be a healthy option. It’s nothing a couple of hours of step aerobics can’t take care of… (via More Than I Can Chew)

…or you could just opt to make a fully edible salad and bowl in under 20 minutes!

12. Applebee’s Hand-Battered Fish + Chips: At 1,730 calories, the amount of fried that happens to this “fish” totally undermines any healthy fat or protein the fish offers. In fact, it’s got three times the fat you’re supposed to eat in a day. We couldn’t find facts about how much exercise it would take to burn these fillets off, but we’re pretty sure it’s more than a walk in the park. (via BuzzFeed)

We think the better option is roasted salmon nicoise with veggie fries. Just consider it the modern version of fish and chips.

13. Hard Rock Cafe Nachos: You’d have to spend 3.5 hours on the elliptical to get rid of these 2,270 calories. And that’s without any meat. Add chicken and you have 156 more calories. (via Fokis)

Just eat these tasty and better for you apple nachos and these adorable nacho cups!

14. TGIF Friday’s Blue Stacked Burger: To burn off the 105 grams of fat from this burger, you would need to hop on your bike and ride at 16mph for two hours. FYI: That’s twice the speed of an average biker. Besides, we’ve got tons of easy, grill-it-yourself burger recipes up our sleeves, like this set of super sliders. (via BuzzFeed)

15. Carl’s Jr. Guacamole Bacon Burger: At 1,810 calories, this burger is possibly the worst of all the fast-food terrors out there. It has the salt equivalent of 10 large orders of McDonalds fries and the caloric equivalent of nine Krispy Kreme donuts. And it’s meant to be eaten in one sitting. We couldn’t find the exact amount of activity to burn this baby off, but we’re just scheduling a full day of booty yoga to make it happen. Like we said, there are tons of burger recipes out there that won’t require a lifetime at the gym. (via Food Matters)

And holy moly, do we know about some crazy guacamole recipes.

Are there any other overly-fried over-portioned restaurant horrors that we should all know to stay away from? Flip us more info in the comments below!