Recurrent Miscarriage Is the Emotionally Loaded Fertility Issue We Need to Discuss

Ashley Abramson
Apr 23, 2019

Nearly one in seven pregnant women will experience a miscarriage. Far less common is the experience of recurrent miscarriage, defined by the American Society of Reproductive Medicine as the involuntary loss of two or more pregnancies before 20 weeks. Fertility specialists at the University of Southern California School of Medicine estimate that just two percent of American women will experience two pregnancy losses in a row; only one percent will have more than three consecutive miscarriages. Rare as it is, the repeated, involuntary loss of pregnancies can be traumatic for women, both physically and emotionally.

Dr. Zev Williams, Director of the Columbia University Fertility Center, tells Brit + Co that pregnancy loss happens in one of two categories: Sporadic losses — typically due to chromosomal abnormalities that result in a non-viable embryo — or losses related to problems with a woman’s reproductive organs or hormones. Issues like uterine polyps and fibroids, inflammation of the uterus, fallopian tube abnormalities, and even thyroid disorders or insulin resistance can prevent embryos from growing properly, which can cause a miscarriage.

“The causes of pregnancy loss are essentially the inverse of all the things that have to go right. There are a huge number of steps that have to occur in order for a pregnancy to succeed, and a roadblock in any one of those can result in recurrent losses,” Williams tells us.

In most cases, losses occur early — often, within the first trimester, and sometimes, sometimes before a woman even knows she’s pregnant — and Williams says the likelihood of miscarriage decreases as pregnancy progresses. “As a woman gets further along, the embryo has been able to overcome more hurdles. If there’s a problem with implanting inside the uterus, the embryo will never get that point,” he says.

No matter the cause, timing, or frequency of recurrent loss, Williams says the experience is often something of an emotional rollercoaster for women trying to conceive. In a study of responses to pregnancy loss, Williams and his colleagues found a wide spectrum of emotional responses.

“Some women [will interpret their] miscarriages as something that wasn’t meant to be, so they’re able to get through it with much less pain,” he says. However, “for about 30 percent of women, a pregnancy loss is almost the equivalent of losing a child — an emotionally devastating event to go through.”

Miscarriage is often painful on its own, but each recurrent miscarriage can be a harsh reminder of previous losses, bringing back painful memories. Williams says many women also blame themselves for not being able to sustain a pregnancy.

“The vast majority of women and couples who experience recurrent loss will look back on the week leading up to the loss and blame themselves,” Williams says. “I often tell patients, ‘We may not know why the losses are happening, but we know why they’re not happening. They have not been due to stress, because you got into an argument, or had a deadline at work.’

In this way, recurrent loss differs from infertility, or not being able to conceive at all. “When an infertile patient gets her first positive test, that’s the greatest moment of joy and excitement for her,” Williams says. “But [for] those who have [experienced] recurrent loss, that moment can be filled with a sense of dread. It’s really not until they’re holding the baby in their arms that they’re able to let their guard down.”

The good news is that most women who suffer from pregnancy loss will eventually deliver a healthy baby. Williams says that after three losses, 64 percent of women go on to have a live birth.

In many cases, it’s as simple as identifying the cause and solution — say, removing polyps from the uterus. Other times, doctors don’t find a cause. “The challenge is finding what’s causing the losses in the first place. Sometimes you just need to wait for the right sperm and egg to come together.”

For anyone who has a friend or loved one experiencing recurrent loss, Williams recommends an empathetic approach. “The key is to try to show understanding and empathy, and not to try to provide solutions,” he says. “Even saying something that seems as natural as ‘Don’t stress so much’ or ‘Try to relax’ can imply that loss happened because someone wasn’t doing those things, which is not the case.”

RELATED: Why We Shouldn’t Be Afraid to Talk About Miscarriage

(Photos via Getty Images)

Sex Ed Doesn’t End In High School. Here Are 5 Important Tips You May Have Missed.

Chances are, you vaguely remember your Sex Ed class in high school. The awkward shuffle of students into the “health” class you all know is code for sex ed. The ancient TV playing videos from the 80s of incredibly cringey (and totally out of date) lessons on the birds and the bees. Maybe they mention STIs (which were definitely still called STDs back then) and why teen pregnancy is the greatest sin on planet Earth (And it was always the woman’s fault, wasn't it?), but they were quick to gloss over sex ed for literally anyone other than heterosexual men and women. Oh, and all of this was being “taught” amidst the giggles of teenage boys, who undeniably made it uncomfortable to ask any questions (provided the genders weren’t segregated, that is).

Obviously, this isn’t a practical education for anyone in present-day society. Sex is way more complicated than anything taught in high school, and far too many people are learning about STIs, disorders, pregnancy prevention and how to actually have great sex way too late in life. We’re covering the basics for everyone — LGBTQ+ included — so you can be a more informed intimate partner.

Sex ed doesn’t end in high school. Here are 5 important tips you may have missed.

1. Tips for safer sex practices.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio / PEXELS

There are several different ways to have sex — and everyone’s preferences are different. If you’re not comfortable engaging in certain practices, remember: you never, ever have to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with. Consent is key, and just because you've consented to one doesn't mean you've consented to all. We’re going to walk you through safe sex practices for a variety of ways to have sex, so you can make informed decisions that feel right for you.

1. Anal and vaginal sex

This type of sex has the highest risk of contracting an STI or HIV. If you’re having anal sex or vaginal sex, it’s important to use internal condoms or external condomsand a water-based or silicone-based lube. “Make sure that you use a different condom with each partner or when a penis or dildo/sex toy is moved between the vagina and anus,” healthcare company FOLX says. “Infections such as herpes, genital warts, syphilis, and monkeypox can be transmitted through regular skin-to-skin contact. Barrier methods such as condoms, dental dams, or latex gloves can reduce your risk of contracting these infections, but will only cover the protected area.”

2. Oral sex

Oral sex is when someone uses their mouth to stimulate the genitals of another person. With oral sex, there is a low risk of STI or HIV transmission, but it’s still possible to contract unwanted infections. “Using an external condom on a penis during oral sex can help contain body fluids such as semen, ejaculate and pre-ejaculate and reduce the risk of STI transmission,” says FOLX. “Condoms can also be used on a sex toy/dildo, especially if [you plan to use it] with multiple partners without proper cleaning.”

For transgender folks who recently underwent bottom surgery, avoid oral sex until you are fully healed. Anyone who has bleeding gums, mouth ulcers, a sore throat, or has gotten dental work done recently should also avoid oral sex.

Photo by cottonbro studio / PEXELS

3. Rimming

Rimming is when someone uses any function of their mouth around/in someone’s anus. According to FOLX, “this can function as a way to prepare for anal sex and/or as a fun, pleasurable sexual activity in its own right. Rimming has an extremely low risk for HIV, but it’s possible to get hepatitis A or bacterial infections like gonorrhea.” Reduce your risk by practicing good personal hygiene and using a barrier method like a dental dam, especially if you or your partner haven’t had a recent anal STI check.

4. Fingering

“Fingering is when someone uses their hand, finger, or multiple fingers to stimulate and penetrate their partner’s vagina and/or anus,” says FOLX. “Fingering is considered low-risk since there’s only a small chance of spreading an STI. There is a small chance that STIs can spread through fingering if you have any cuts on your hands or fingers, or if there are internal tears in the anus or vaginal tissues.” If you engage in fingering, reduce your risk by practicing good hygiene and washing your hands with soap and water, especially if you’re fingering multiple partners. You can also use latex gloves or finger condoms to cover your fingers for extra protection.

2. The lowdown on STIs.

STIs are sexually transmitted infections (AKA STDs or sexually transmitted diseases) and can be transmitted through different kinds of sexual activities. While there are dozens of unique types of STIs, common STIs to test for include gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, trichomonas, and HIV. If you’re sexually active, it’s important to be tested for STIs, especially since you may have an infection or disease that doesn’t present any noticeable symptoms.

“If left untreated, STIs can cause serious health problems, including cervical cancer, liver disease, pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), infertility, and pregnancy problems,” says thewellproject. “Having some STIs (such as chancroid, herpes, syphilis, and trichomoniasis) can increase your risk of acquiring HIV if you are HIV-negative and are exposed to HIV. People living with HIV may also be at greater risk of getting or passing on other STIs.”

For more comprehensive information, visit thewellproject.

3. STI prevention and testing.

Rachel Wakefield

Luckily, there are plenty of ways for us to prevent the transmission of STIs. Many people request any intimate partners to be fully tested for STIs before engaging in sex with them, which is a great way to feel safe and comfortable during sex.

Obviously, anyone with a penis is advised to wear a condom during any form of sex, especially oral, vaginal, or anal. It’s a simple way to reduce the risk of both partners, which is a win for everyone. For women seeking oral sex or rimming, we recommend wearing Lorals, a FDA-cleared, wearable STI protection to keep both you and your partner safe.

Sex toys/dildos are another great way to reduce the transmission of STIs, but be sure to clean before switching between partners. When searching for the right sex toy(s), make sure they are made of body-safe materials, like medical-grade silicone. We love Bellesa’s line of sex toys because they are made from premium quality silicone, are waterproof and are USB rechargeable. Like they say, “good orgasms are a lifestyle!”

Remember: you need to test for STIs! Regularly! Fortunately, testing for STIs has (literally) never been easier. While you can be fully tested for STIs by your Primary Care Physician or OB/GYN, there are some great at-home tests if a doctor isn’t your jam. stix offers a range of vaginal and sexual test kits delivered straight to your door. We also love Cheeky Bonsai for at-home UTI testing and relief. Oh, and you can order both of these brands on Amazon. Talk about a win-win!

4. Different forms of birth control.

Photo by Pixabay / PEXELS

This ones for all the ladies out there. If you’re not looking to get pregnant now (or ever), then practicing safe sex is a MUST. If you are having sex with someone who has a penis, make sure they have a condom on. It’s seriously the simplest way to ensure there are no babies in your immediate future. In addition to condoms, birth control is the best way to ensure you’re as pregnancy-protected as possible.

You can read up on all of the different types of birth control here, and visit your OB/GYN to get started. If you don't have a doctor who can prescribe you birth control, try NURX or Hey Jane (they offer medical abortions, emergency contraception and UTI/yeast infection treatment too).

A morning-after pill (AKA emergency contraception) is another way to protect yourself against unwanted pregnancy, particularly if you believe your partner ejaculated in you during recent sex. Get fast, discreet emergency contraception delivered straight to your door with Julie, or head to your local CVS or Walmart if you simply cannot wait.

5. How to have pleasurable sex.

Photo by Edward Eyer / PEXELS

Pleasure looks different for everyone, but there are some resources you can reference for better sex. Practical Intimacy gives great advice on how to have incredible sex as a woman, but really, the tips are simple. Give yourself time to get aroused, engage your whole body and your mind, let go of the pressure to orgasm, ask for what you want and make sure your partner is seeking to please you, too. Sex should never be one-sided, and we should all seek to close the orgasm gap, one mind-blowing orgasm at a time.

If you need tips on where to start, we highly recommend watching Angel Ardito’s TikToks. Her tips are informative, practical, and sure to make you (and your partner) much happier people.

And remember: you are way sexier than you think! Negative self-talk deserves no place in your mind or your bedroom, so get it out of there!

This is just the basics of sex ed, and we’re guessing it’s probably more than you ever learned in school. Educating yourself is imperative to engaging in safe sex, so do your research, figure out what’s comfortable for you, vocalize your needs and most of all — have fun.

Stay updated on the latest sex and wellness news with Brit + Co.

Header image courtesy of Rachel Wakefield.

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Lucy Boynton’s “The Greatest Hits” Is Like “About Time” Meets “A Walk To Remember”

In spring movieThe Greatest Hits, Harriet loves vinyls — just like actress Lucy Boynton! "At home, I have a turntable," Lucy tells me. "My dad got me this really cool red record player, so it's like my pride and joy. And my dad and I — music has been the center of our relationship, so he's been giving me loads of his old vinyls since getting it. And the sound quality on vinyl is like nothing else. You hear the crunch of what it was supposed to be, and the sound in the room. So, yeah, that's where my heart is."

She's currently listening to Sam Cooke, but there's another artist who has a special place in her heart: Bob Dylan.

"Dylan's lyrics throughout the history of his career have spoken to young people and their restlessness," she says. "I remember always knowing that and enjoying his music aesthetically, and then hearing 'The Times They Are A-Changin'' when I was in my late teens. In that restlessness when you're trying to be a full person, you feel like an adult, but you're obviously still so young and so in denial of that. And I heard the lyrics to that and just felt so seen and...suddenly it's like I have someone far more eloquent than myself articulating exactly how I feel."

The same can be said for contemporary artists like Beyoncé, Olivia Rodrigo, and Taylor Swift, whose music consistently tops charts because it makes listeners feel seen. And in The Greatest Hits, music isn't just an emotional experience, it's a physical one too.

What is The Greatest Hits about?

Image via Searchlight Pictures

The Greatest Hits follows Lucy Boynton's Harriet, who can travel back in time by listening to specific songs — and who's hunting for the one track that will help her save her late boyfriend. Think of it like About Time with some of the relationship devastation that comes from A Walk To Remember. (For her part, Lucy was inspired by everything from Like Crazy to My Girl to The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion). This movie has got everything you need from a good rom-com: incredible actors, memorable makeup from Euphoria's Donni Davy, and quirky details like a silent disco and the fact Harriet always wears headphones.

But the movie is also incredibly grounded. While Harriet is focused on her past relationship, a brand new one begins to blossom in the present, throwing an unexpected (if welcome) wrench in Harriet's plans. As a self-proclaimed "nostalgic, sentimental person," Lucy Boynton says The Greatest Hits made her think about living in the present in a whole new way.

"I knew it was better to live present and forward-looking," she says. "But this job calls for you to be so in tune with your past and feelings, and it's so useful when you can draw from your own experience. So I kind of kept one foot in the past deliberately...seeing the way that prohibits Harriet from being aware of what's happening in her present tense because you just miss opportunities. Something that could catch your eye if you're open to it won't happen if your peripheral is clouded by the past."

"I think it's such a temptation, I don't know how I would be able to resist if given the opportunity to go back," she continues. "But I don't know that it's fate so much as relinquishing the power. Where it's like, you don't know what the other road looked like...You don't know what option B was and yeah, something terrible could have happened [but] you might not know the people that you know now. And so I think as painful as things can [be], I don't know any other road and I would choose the safety of the road I know now and can learn from."

Who's in The Greatest Hits cast?

Image via Searchlight Pictures

In The Greatest Hits, Lucy stars opposite Justin H. Min and David Corenswet. She's worked with Will Poulter on Why Didn't They Ask Evans and Emma Watson on Ballet Shoes, but in 2023, she also had a role in the biggest movie of the year: Barbie!

While we only see her onscreen for a brief moment, Lucy says being a doll in Weird Barbie's (Kate McKinnon) house was a dream. "It was wild just to be in the room with those brains," she says. "It's undeniable. Greta is brilliant, but Kate McKinnon is a comedic genius...Just like hearing her riff, hearing her improv line after line was heaven. It was like being front row at SNL or something, and that's the joy of being on any kind of set. It's the experience in the moment. So yeah, that was a comedy show that I loved."

Lucy's also looking to the future and would "just love to be in anything written by Michaela Coel," she tells me. "I think she's an extraordinary, completely unique voice. And just brilliant. So, yeah, anything penned by her. I think Andrea Riseborough is a really extraordinary actress, Brit Marling. You know, the list is extensive."

Rapid Fire With The Greatest Hits' Lucy Boynton

Image via Searchlight Pictures

Brit + Co: I love seeing all the dates Harriet goes on with her new love interest David. What's your idea of the perfect date?

Lucy Boynton: I think anything that's spontaneous. My best dates and my best memories have been days that [have] just unraveled as you go along them.

B+C: As much as I love dates, I also love having nothing to do. When was the last time you canceled plans?

LB: Embarrassingly recently. I feel like this press tour has kept me in line and kept me in check with the schedule. But it'll probably be tomorrow.

B+C: What is your on-set must-have?

LB: A book and mints because you're in really close proximity with people. So mints are a must-have and then a book because you're inevitably waiting around between set changes and it's always longer than you think it's going to be.

B+C: What is on your summer 2024 bucket list?

LB: Say yes to more things. I think, especially in a freelance job, it's really easy to want to keep the window open for any work that comes up. And I'm trying to be better at taking the reins on my own life and saying yes to more opportunities with friends and family. So honestly, just like a holiday. I'm going to go on holiday.

B+C: We've talked so much about nostalgia, is there anything particular you miss from the pre-smartphone era?

LB: Oh my God, yes. Not being cross eyed and glued to [your phone], I think. Just that thing of like, when you're waiting for someone, just being in your environment. And I know when you're young, that's for some reason humiliating, to look like you're not doing anything. But when it was just looking up and looking around, whereas when I have a beat [now], I'm probably looking at my phone and that's just horrific.

Where can I watch The Greatest Hits?

Image via Searchlight Pictures

You can stream The Greatest Hits on Hulu now.

Where was The Greatest Hits filmed?

Image via Searchlight Pictures

Principal photography for The Greatest Hits took place in 2022 around Los Angeles, California. Specific locations include Echo Park, Silver Lake, Chinatown, and Venice Beach! If you ask me, this is even more of an excuse to take an LA trip in 2024 ;).

Would you go back in time if given the chance? Let us know on Facebook! Stream The Greatest Hits now and check out all the May Movies you can see next month.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Lead image via Searchlight Pictures

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Take Care Of Your Sexual Health At-Home With These Brands

Hi there! We’re here to remind you that you need to take care of your sexual health. Chances are, you probably overlook this critical area of care when it comes to monthly (and yearly) medical check-ups. Caring for your sexual health is imperative to ensure a healthy overall wellbeing, and we’ve rounded up a series of brands dedicated to providing at-home care for your sexual health (and pleasure).

Before we jump into the brands, it’s important for us to define what sexual health even is. In short, sexual health includes self-esteem, personal attractiveness, competence, as well as freedom from sexual dysfunction, sexually transmitted diseases, and sexual assault/coercion. It goes beyond testing for the aforementioned STIs and fertility and rather encompasses just as many mental components as physical ones.

Keep reading for our go-to brands for fertility testing, STI care, discreet emergency contraception, sex toys, LGBTQ+ sexual healthcare, and so much more — all of which can be accessed with a simple internet connection.

And don’t worry — these brands operate on the DL to provide you with the best (and safest) care possible.

You Want To Test Your Fertility

Image via Natalist

Natalist

Natalist is “led by a team of moms and doctors on a mission to reduce the historical shame, misinformation, and outdated product offerings women experience on their path to parenthood. Inspired by [their] own complex fertility journeys, Natalist offers fertility, pregnancy, and postpartum essentials that are science-backed and designed with sustainability in mind.”

Beyond their product offerings (like pregnancy tests, ovulation test kits, male care and supplements), Natalist offers an incredibly thoughtful and thorough blog for anyone interested in parenthood (or anyone in the trenches of it 😂).

​You Need Simple Reproductive Health Tests

Image via bird&be

bird&be

bird&be is on a mission to assist, coach, fuel, and cheer you on throughout your fertility journey. With a variety of offerings for male and female fertility care, bird&be is a great place for any future American and Canadian parents to start.

​You *Think* You May Have An UTI

Image via Cheeky Bonsai

Cheeky Bonsai

Cheeky Bonsai was founded because of a desire to make everyday health feel like selfcare. With a Harvard Urogynecologist backing up their selection of UTI care and treatments, Cheeky Bonsai is an effective way to alleviate (and test for) any potential UTIs.

​You Need Emergency Contraception, Like, Now

Image via CVS

Julie

Julie is a new healthcare company helping people prevent unwanted or mistimed pregnancies with an FDA-approved morning after pill. When taken within 72 hours of having sex, it can help prevent pregnancy by temporarily delaying or stopping ovulation.

​You Want To Test Your Sexual And Vaginal Health

Image via stix

stix

Like so many of us, Stix’s co-founders realized that they both had terrible experiences buying health products — and when it came to learning about and managing their health, there was much to be desired. That’s exactly why they started Stix; to create a convenient, discreet, and judgment-free way to get the products you need. With a variety of science-backed and doctor-approved products that are designed to work for you, Stix also offers “Sex-Ed Without the BS” through real talk, a blog dedicated to answering your most personal questions.

​You Need *Intimate* Care

Image via wisp

wisp

Wisp offers healthcare on your terms — with products to treat a variety of conditions. Whether you need a quick prescription or a trusted over-the-counter remedy, wisp connects you with real-time providers and guides to help you safely navigate your symptoms and get back on track.

You’re Looking For Comprehensive Healthcare As An LGBTQ+ Person

Image via FOLX

FOLX

If you’re a member of the LGBTQ+ community, then you’re well aware of the barriers to comprehensive care within the traditional healthcare system. FOLX is designed for “everybody and every body,'' with a focus on providing quality, specialized healthcare to fit your specific needs. Whether you’re looking for primary care, gender-affirming care, sexual and reproductive care, or something else, they offer plans for both insured and uninsured people as well as an amazing library of info on *literally* any issue you can think of.

​You Want To Add Some (Discreet) Pleasure To Your Life

Image via Bellesa Boutique

Bellesa Boutique

Bellesa is on a mission to close the pleasure gap. Through a wide range of five-star sex toys made with 100% body-safe premium materials, Bellesa empowers their community to embrace, explore and celebrate their sexuality. Unapologetically.

Hopefully these resources will help you, no matter what your sexual health journey looks like. Everyone is deserving of excellent care, so grab a seat, do some research and start on a path towards your healthiest (and happiest) self.

Be your healthiest self with Brit + Co.

Header image courtesy of Bellesa Boutique.

Cheeky BonsaiEmergency ContraceptionFOLXFertility TestingJulieLGBTQ+ HealthcareNatalistSTI CareSex ToysSexual Wellbeingbird&besexual wellnessstixwispBellesa BoutiquewellnesshealthWomens HealthsexintimatehealthcareNSFWsexual health

Taylor Swift's $24 Accessory Was A "thanK you aIMee" Easter Egg The Whole Time

If you're a Taylor Swift fan, then you probably know about Taylor Swift & Kim Kardashian's history. What started as Kanye West interrupting Taylor's acceptance speech at the 2009 VMAs — a moment that altered the course of pop culture history — spiraled into a very public feud that gave us Reputation and always seems to reappear in a new form. And after the release of The Tortured Poets Department, Swifties think we've got another piece of the puzzle with Taylor's new song "thanK you aIMee."

In true Taylor fashion, the popstar actually hinted at the song in October 2023 when she wore a $24 clip from Anthropologie called the "Aimee" clip! She loves to add all kinds of clues and references within her outfits, and I love that this one is so affordable. Here's everything you need to know. Don't forget to check out Every Pop Culture Reference In Taylor Swift's The Tortured Poets Department.

Is "thanK you aIMee" actually about Taylor Swift & Kim Kardashian?

Image via Big Machine Records/YouTube

There is plenty of evidence suggesting "thanK you aIMee" is about Kim Kardashian & Taylor Swift. The first and most obvious is that the title of the song only has three letters capitalized: "KIM." The song talks about "Aimee" (who Taylor admits actually has a different name in real life), a bully figure who beats Taylor's spirit "black and blue."

In the summer of 2016, Kanye West (Kim's husband at the time) released his song "Famous," in which he takes total credit for Taylor's fame following the 2009 VMAs incident. Taylor claimed she never gave him permission to call her a bitch in the song, a video leak from Kim seemed to show the opposite (the video turned out to be edited). At the time, Kim even told GQ that “[Taylor] totally knew that that was coming out. She wanted to all of a sudden act like she didn’t.”

#TaylorSwiftIsOverParty started trending on Twitter, Taylor Swift deleted all social media and stopped doing interviews for three years, then returned with a vengeance on the "Look What You Made Me Do" music video in 2017. The video starts off with a zombie Taylor burying the "nicer" version of herself.

Taylor Swift's "thanK you aIMee" mentions "It wasn't a fair fight or a clean kill // Each time that Aimee stomped across my gravе // And then she wrote hеadlines // In the local paper, laughing at each baby step I'd take." If you ask me, it definitely sounds like a reference to the music video and maybe even Kim's interviews.

Why does "thanK you aIMee" have random capital letters?

Image via Monica Schipper/Getty Images

Taylor Swift loves hiding clues in her titles, lyrics, and messages. And historically, she's hidden words by using random capital letters. That means "thanK you aIMee" is supposed to draw our eyes to "KIM."

The Lyrics To "thanK you aIMee"

Image via Larry Busacca/Getty Images for NARAS

Verse 1: When I picture my hometown // There's a bronze spray-tanned statue of you // And a plaque underneath it // That threatens to push me down the stairs at our school

Pre-Chorus: And it was always the same searing pain // But I dreamed that, one day, I could say

Chorus: All that time you were throwin' punches, I was buildin' somethin' // And I can't forgive the way you made me feel // Screamed, "F*ck you, Aimee" to the night sky as the blood was gushin' // But I can't forget the way you made me heal

Verse 2: And it wasn't a fair fight or a clean kill // Each time that Aimee stomped across my gravе // And then she wrote hеadlines // In the local paper, laughing at each baby step I'd take

Pre-Chorus: And it was always the same searing pain // But I prayed that, one day, I could say

Image via Christopher Polk/Getty Images

Chorus: All that time you were throwin' punches, I was buildin' somethin' // And I couldn't wait to show you it was real // Screamed, "F*ck you, Aimee" to the night sky as the blood was gushin' // But I can't forget the way you made me heal // Everyone knows that my mother is a saintly woman // But she used to say she wished that you were dead // I pushed each boulder up the hill // Your words are still just ringing in my head, ringing in my head

Verse 3: I wrote a thousand songs that you find uncool // I built a legacy, which you can't undo // But when I count the scars, there's a moment of truth // That there wouldn't be this if there hadn't been you

Bridge: And maybe you've reframed it // And in your mind, you never beat my spirit black and blue // I don't think you've changed much // And so I changed your name and any real defining clues // And one day, your kid comes home singin' // A song that only us two is gonna know is about you, 'cause

Image via Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images

Chorus: All that time you were throwin' punches, it was all for nothin' // And our town, it looks so small from way up here // Screamed, "Thank you, Aimee" to the night sky and the stars are stunnin' // 'Cause I can't forget the way you made me heal // Everyone knows that my mother is a saintly woman // But she used to say she wished that you were dead // So I pushed each boulder up that hill // Your words were still just ringin' in my head, ringin' in my head

Outro: Thank you, Aimee // Thank you, Aimee

Do you think "thanK you aIMee" is referencing the feud between Taylor Swift & Kim Kardashian? After you listen again, check out All Of Taylor Swift's Albums, Ranked!

Lead images via Dimitrios Kambouris/Monica Schipper/Getty Images

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Move Over Lavender Haze, Lilac Is The Superior Color For Spring

We know that Taylor just released The Tortured Poets Department, sending the internet (and us) into a frenzy to decipher her lyrics and determine who is the subject of each song (we're looking at you, Matty). But we’re still stuck on her last album, Midnights — and more specifically, "Lavender Haze." While we're still obsessed with that song — especially the acoustic version — we're even more obsessed with the shade of purple itself.

Lavender took over the 2023 spring/summer fashion shows, but lavender’s lighter cousin, lilac, is taking the crown as the costar of the season alongside butter yellow this year. This pastel shade has always been a springtime favorite, and it's honestly the perfect color to add to your wardrobe right now. With that in mind, here are a few on-trend pieces to add to your wardrobe to enjoy this season’s fave color.

Shop The Lilac Color Trend Here!

J.Crew Collection Layered Sequin T-Shirt

This sequined top and matching skirt from J.Crew could be my favorite set I’ve seen this season. The top is a sheer and shimmery short-sleeve with a matching colored camisole underneath. The shirt comes with a shorter liner for a fun and flirty evening look, without showing too much skin. Both pieces come in lilac and are covered in light-reflecting sequins.

Coach Jonie Bag

An easy way to incorporate a new color is through accessories, like shoes, jewelry, or bags. I adore Coach, and I'm always checking their website and socials for their latest drop. I’ve been eyeing this purple Jonie Bag for a while and it might be time to click “order.”

Abercrombie Textured Button-Through Shirt Dress

This loose and airy short-sleeve mini dress from Abercrombie is perfect for hot summer days in the office or running errands. Available in petite, regular, and tall, there’s a length for everyone. Pair with flats and a light jacket or blazer for an easy and cool office look.

GAP Mid Rise Crinkle Gauze Wide-Leg Pants

I practically live in linen pants once the temp hits 70 degrees. This style is a "breathable cotton" and comes in a variety of colors, including lilac. These are effortless and easy to throw on with an elastic waistband. I'd love to see them with a graphic tee and sambas!

Abercrombie Ottoman Slash Top

I’m a huge fan of the Ottoman tops from Abercrombie, and this lilac one is in my shopping cart as we speak. This fitted sweater top is a closet staple and easy to pair with linen trousers and sneakers or a mini skirt and heeled sandals.

Urban Outfitters Bri Double Bow Satin Mini Dress

As someone who is obsessed with bows, this lilac dress with bow straps is too cute. I’ll be wearing this satin mini all summer long.

H&M Open-Back Gathered Top

With a variety of purple, lavender, and lilac shades — and a just bit of yellowy orange — this tie-dye-inspired tank is the perfect going out top for spring and summer. The gathered seams on the side provide a great shape and the open back is perfect for a hot summer night.

Adidas Sambas OG

As someone who is getting bored of plain, white sneakers, I am seriously considering adding a colorful tennis shoe to my (overflowing) closet. Adidas Sambas are everywhere right now, and this purple pair is so cool.

J.Crew Garçon Classic Shirt In Striped Cotton Poplin

This everyday button down shirt is a classic from J.Crew, but the color and print make it feel fresh and new. This top is perfect with white trousers and white sneakers for a cute and casual daytime outfit or with black trousers and pumps for an office-ready look.

Lululemon Varsity High-Rise Pleated Tennis Skirt

Even Lululemon is into lilac. This trendy tennis skirt, which comes in a variety of colors, is now available in lilac. Designed for tennis but also perfect for all your Hot Girl and Wine Walks, this fun and bright skirt will make any workout better.

Banana Republic Ariella Taffeta Midi Dress

Midi dresses are the best for summer — they’re comfortable, easy to throw on, and always look cute. This purple one from Banana Republic is no exception, and would be a perfect pick for your next vacay.

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