100 Things Women Think About As Often As Men Think About The Roman Empire

What are common misconceptions about neurodivergence in relationships?

It seems like as soon as people find out two people are dating, their relationship becomes THE topic of conversation among their peers and otherwise. I know because I'm guilty of letting my curiosity get the best of me, but I try not to make assumptions about what goes on BTS. Knowing this, I can only imagine some of the things that people say about couples where one partner has a diagnosed mental illness or is neurodivergent.

Natalie says the common myths and stigmas associated with these types of relationships are:

• Relationships with people who have mental health issues are doomed to fail.
• People with mental health issues are violent and dangerous.
• Mental health problems are a sign of weakness, and you can 'fix' your partner.
• You should only consider someone as a romantic partner if they are 'cured' of their mental illness

How can someone effectively communicate with their partner if they ADHD?

Someone who has ADHD may process things a little differently than another person, which doesn't have to be a terrible thing. To be more specific, Natalie breaks down how someone can have conversations with a partner who has ADHD. "Effective communication with a partner who has ADHD requires specific strategies because ADHD can affect a person's ability to focus, organize thoughts, listen actively, and manage impulses, which can sometimes make interactions and day-to-day living difficult," she says.

A few ways to navigate this is by doing the following:

• Seek Understanding of ADHD: Understanding how ADHD can affect communication and behavior can help you develop empathy and more effective strategies tailored to your relationship.
• Establish Eye Contact: Making eye contact can help them focus and signal that the conversation is important.
• Check for Understanding: After you’ve communicated something important, ask your partner to repeat back what they've understood. This can ensure that your message has been understood correctly.
• Use "I" Statements: This can prevent your partner from feeling defensive and keeps the conversation more constructive.

How can you recognize signs that something is triggering your partner?

This is such an important question because sometimes we're not aware that something we're doing or saying is triggering our partners whether they have ADHD or not. Natalie says, "A clear sign that something may be triggering your partner is a noticeable and abrupt change in their mood or behavior," and "Triggers can also provoke physical responses."

Based on her experience, these physical responses can include shaking, trembling, a sudden inability to speak, crying, rapid breathing, or even a panic attack. "Observing these changes can indicate that your partner is experiencing something deeply distressing. If your partner suddenly withdraws from a conversation, shuts down emotionally, or tries to leave the situation entirely, it might indicate that they are feeling overwhelmed or triggered, as well. Or a sudden silence or unusually passive communication can be a sign your partner is triggered," Natalie says.

As someone who's known for finding a way to exit a conversation if I start feeling overwhelmed, I can say that this sounds all too familiar.

What makes having a partner with ADHD difficult? Should that be a dealbreaker?

Deal breakers are subjective, so no one can firmly tell you what you should or shouldn't deal with. At the same time, Natalie wants you to consider some things. "Dating someone with ADHD does have it's unique challenges, but understanding these challenges can help determine whether they might be considered deal-breakers, depending on one's personal limits, the dynamics of the relationship, and the willingness of both partners to work through these concerns."

She makes it clear that some things that may affect your relationship with your partner are their tendency to be inconsistent, distracted, forgetful, and disorganized. If you're finding that it's hard for you to find peace at home or in your relationship, it may be best for you to amicably part ways with your partner.

How can you support a partner with ADHD?

We're fortunate that we live in a time where talking about mental illness and neurodivergence is more widely embraced, but that doesn't mean everyone is comfortable with the conversation. Natalie says, "As a clinical provider, I have been able to witness first hand the ways that a partner's support can really assist someone with an ADHD diagnosis. First, understanding the symptoms, challenges, and behaviors associated with ADHD can help you empathize with what your loved one is experiencing."

A few of the ways you can help your partner is by listening without judgment or interruption, and acknowledging their struggles, validating their feelings, and reassuring them that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Natalie says this "...can help provide a feeling of safety" while "Offering to help organize their environment, set up reminders, or plan daily schedules can help reduce stress and make daily tasks more manageable."

To go the extra mile, Natalie suggests celebrating small milestones and successes to boost their self-esteem and motivation since these two things can also be affected by ADHD.

Yesterday, Oprah announced her book club's 105th pick On OprahDaily.com and CBS Mornings, where she appeared with author Colm Tóibín to discuss his newly released book Long Island. She had nothing but praise for the novel and said, "I was captivated. Tóibín builds the story around a woman whose life changes seemingly overnight with the news of her husband’s infidelity. It opens the door to her own secrets, grappling with choices she made long ago, urging her to break free from the silences she built around her life. A wonderful page-turner to start your summer reading.”

On OprahDaily.com and CBS Mornings, Oprah Winfrey excitedly shared her book club's 104th pick: The Many Lives of Mama Love by Lara Love Hardin. In a touching video, Oprah can be seen surprising Hardin in what feels like a "full circle moment." While trying to process her book being chosen as Oprah's next book club pick, Hardin can be heard saying, "I'm just overwhelmed right now. I'm so grateful."

It's a memoir that details how Hardin's past addiction to opiates caused her to make dire decisions that led her to serve jail time. Not only that, but Hardin eventually finds a way to show herself grace as she reconnects with her children and becomes an ally for other women who are incarcerated.

For a sneak peek of what you can expect in the novel, read an exclusive excerpt on OprahDaily.com!

Long Island by Colm Tóibín

Long Island tells the tale of Eilis Lacey and the discovery of her husband's infidelity. Things start off well enough with Eilis and her husband Tony Fiorello living near his family. The family spends a lot of time together and it feels like they have a quintessential bond that can't be broken.

But when Eilis discovers that a man's wife is carrying Tony's child and they don't want anything to do with the baby, she begins to start looking at her own desires as well as the things she's kept secret for the sake of her marriage. She ends up journeying to a familiar place to rediscover herself and it ignites an inner flame that she thought she lost.

The Many Lives of Mama Love by Lara Love Hardin

According to OprahDaily.com, here's the reading schedule for The Many Lives of Mama Love that'll take place on Oprah's book club's Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok channels.

Week #1: Chapters 1–8

Pages 1 to 103

Discussion begins on Saturday, March 9.

Week #2: Chapters 9–14

Pages 105 to 206

Discussion begins on Saturday, March 16.

Week #3: Chapter 15–End

Pages 207 to 304

Discussion begins on Saturday, March 23.

Be sure to grab your copy of The Many Lives of Mama Love so you can join the discussion!

Let Us Descend

Also listed on the Amazon top books list, Let Us Descend is a masterful tale that views slavery through the lens of a young girl who makes powerful discoveries as along her journey. When Annis is sold by her father — a white slave owner — she finds herself thrust into a world at a sugar plantation. Guided by otherworldly spirits, she finds herself coming to terms with who she is despite her circumstances.

"Demon Copperhead" by Barbara Kingsolver Has Something Big To Celebrate

Last year on Instagram, Oprah's book club announced that Demon Copperhead by Barvara Kingsolver was celebrating a longstanding run on the NYT Bestseller list. This is surely a testament to the way Kingsolver weaves emotion into her written work for readers to feel.

Read our synopsis of "Demon Copperhead" below!

Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver

It comes as no surprise that Demon Copperhead continues to give a name and face to the perils the young face while growing up. In this case, Demon is learning to come to terms with his upbringing along with the feeling he's not being seen.

Wellness

Oprah's latest book club pick is written by the talented Nathan Hill. Hill paints a picture of the how the idealistic view of marriage and life can feel out of touch with reality. After falling in love during their college days, Jack and Elizabeth are shocked to discover things feel vastly differently decades later. Forced to either turn from each other or peel back layers of hidden things they've never addressed, they make a decision that'll change the course of everything they've known.

Bittersweet by Susan Cain

Nightcrawling by Leila Mottley

With the odds seemingly stacked against them, siblings Kiara and Marcus do what they can to survive while also helping a young neighbor. However, a chance encounter with a stranger grants Kiara with a job that helps sustain them — until she's caught up in a web of secrets that begins with an investigation. Found out what fate has in store for her in Nightcrawling.

Hidden Valley Road: Inside the Mind of an American Family by Robert Kolker

Robert Kolker takes a look at how six of the Galvin children were diagnosed with schizophrenia while the other four weren't. Hidden Valley Road: Inside the Mind of an American Family details how a 'perfect' example of a nuclear family grappled with secrets and mental illness, something that sounds all too familiar.

Olive, Again byElizabeth Strout

Olive is all at once stubborn and lovable in Olive, Again. From an odd birth experience to her reluctance to accept an inheritance, Olive's life goes through a series of ups and downs that readers will be able to resonate with.

Wild byCheryl Strayed

In a different take of Eat, Pray, Love, young Cheryl decides to go on a hike of more than a thousand miles after the death of her mother and dissolution of her marriage. Her journey is one of self-discovery and healing all at once.

Sula by Toni Morrison

Two friends, Nel and Sula, have a strong bond that takes them through many stages in their lives. But when a betrayal rocks their friendship, they find themselves on opposing sides. Learn what their outcome is in Sula.

House of Sand and Fogby Andre Dubus III

Living with roommates can prove to be tricky but one thing's for sure - stories and lives often intertwine. House of Sand and Fog weaves a tale of strangers whose lives do just that and then some.

The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver

The Poisonwood Bible follows the Price family, led by devout Evangelist Nathan, as they travel to the Congo in 1959. Determined to save souls, Nathan's fierceness and stubborn nature lead to tragedy that changes the trajectory of the women in his life.

White Oleander by Janet Fitch

When Astrid's mother is sentenced for committing murder, she faces herself immersed in the foster care system in Los Angeles. As the things she faces changes from each home she's placed in, Astrid comes of age and somehow finds her footing.

The Pilot's Wifeby Anita Shreve

The Way of Integrity: Finding The Path to Your True Self by Martha Beck

Martha Beck paints a case of what it means to live a life that aligns with our true self in The Way of Integrity: Finding The Path to Your True Self. She also shares what happens when we fall out of that alignment but offers attainable ways to figure out who we really are.

Bewilderment by Richard Powers

When astrobiologist Theo Byrne finds himself coming to terms with his wife's death and their son's troubled behavior, he finds himself willing to do whatever it takes to get him the help he needs. Faced with a chance to try a neurofeedback treatment that features the brain patterns of his late wife, Theo decides it's worth trying in Bewilderment.

Gilead by Marilynne Robinson

Reverend John Ames decides to write to his son about his family's history - particularly that of his father and grandfather in Gilead. It's a tale that weaves together spirituality, wisdom and more.

More titles on Oprah Winfrey's Book Club List:

• The Covenant of Water by Abraham Verghese
• Hello Beautiful by Ann Napolitano
  
• That Bird Has My Wings by Jarvis Jay Masters
  
• Finding Me by Viola Davis
  
• The Love Songs of W.E.B. Dubois by Honorée Fanonne Jeffers
  
• The Sweetness of Water by Nathan Harris
  
• Home by Marilynne Robinson
  
• Lila by Marilynn Robinson
  
• Jack by Maryilnne Robinson
  
• Caste: The Origins of Our Discontent by Isabel Wilkerson
• Deacon King Kong by James McBride
  
• American Dirt: A Novel by Jeanine Cummins
  
• The Water Dancer: A Novel by Ta-Nehisi Coates
  
• Becoming by Michelle Obama
  
• The Sun Does Shine by Anthony Ray Hinton
  
• An American Marriage by Tayari Jones
  
• Behold the Dreamers by Imbolo Mbue
  
• Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle
  
• The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead
  
• Ruby by Cynthia Bond
  
• The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd
  
• The Twelve Tribes of Hattie by Ayana Mathis
  
• A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
  
• Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
  
• Freedom by Jonathan Franzen
  
• Say You're One of Them by Uwen Akpan
  
• The Story of Edgar Sawtelle by David Wroblewski
• A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
  
• The New Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
  
• Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez
  
• Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
  
• The Road by Cormac McCarthy
  
• The Measure of a Man by Sidney Poitier
  
• Night by Elie Wiesel
  
• A Million Little Pieces by James Frey
  
• Light In August by William Faulkner
  
• The Sound and Fury by William Faulkner
  
• As I lay Dying by William Faulkner
  
• The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck
  
• Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
  
• The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers
  
• One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez
  
• Cry, The Beloved Country by Alan Paton
  
• East of Eden by John Steinbeck
  
• Fall on Your Knees by Ann-Marie MacDonald
  
• A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry
  
• The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen
  
• Cane River by Lalita Tademy
  
• Stolen Livens by Malika Oufkir and Michėle Fitoussi
  
• Icy Sparks by Gwyn Hyman Rubio
  
• We Were The Mulvaneys by Joyce Carol Oates
  
• Drowing Ruth by C/hristina Schwartz
  
• Open House by Elizabeth Berg
  
• While I was Gone by Sue Miller
  
• The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
  
• Back Roads by Tawni O'Dell
  
• Daughter of Fortune by Isabel Allende
  
• Gap Creek by Robert Morgan
  
• Vinegar Hill by Manette Ansay
  
• River, Cross My Heart by Breena Clarke
• Tara Road by Maeve Binchy
  
• Mother of Pearl by Melinda Haynes
  
• The Reader by Bernhard Schlink
• Jewel by Bret Lott
  
• Where the Heart Is by Billie Letts
  
• What Looks Like Crazy on an Ordinary Day by Pearl Cleage
  

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