7 Simple Suggestions That’ll Help You Be a Better Human

Krista Gray
Feb 14, 2018

According to a recent Marist poll, more Americans than ever resolved to be a better person this new year. But what makes someone a good person, exactly? Kate Hanley, the author of How to Be a Better Person, believes it’s in the way someone acts every day. From words of encouragement to asking meaningful questions and making eye contact, Hanley gave us seven basic ways anyone can become a better version of themselves almost immediately. Scroll on to see if you’ve already mastered the items on her list.

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Today is "How to Be a Better Person"'s official birthday. 🎉🍾✨🎂 . It was a long pregnancy--I dug into every corner of my brain, read countless books and numerous studies, drew on my conversations with coaching clients and colleagues, and organized the principles I've learned in 20+ years of study of yoga and meditation to create this list of 401 ways you can be the change you wish to see in the world. When I wasn't at my desk, I wrote in cafes, on planes, at kids' art classes, and in the backs of Ubers. I poured my heart into it and now it's time for it to go out into the world and do it's work of inspiring hearts and mind and creating change. Fly, little book, fly high!! . . #beabetterperson #beabetteryou #bebetter #booksofinstagram #books #book #author #authorsofinstagram #newbook #tuesday #published #birthday #birthday

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1. Write down your personal mission statement. It might feel like going back to the basics, but being a good person means you know what your north star is. “If you don’t know what’s important to you, how will you know that the things you’re spending time on really matter?” Hanley asks. To live your life in the happiest and healthiest way, work to craft a personal mission statement that captures the things you care about the most. “This will be a tool that you can use to inspire you and motivate you to keep going on your most important work. I suggest writing down a list of 5-10 values that matter to you, then weaving them together to form a few sentences or short paragraphs that can guide how you make decisions and spend your time,” she shares.

2. Ask more questions. Hanley reminds us that it’s tempting to try to guess what someone is thinking, but by doing so, we almost never capture the other person’s thought process. “To make sure that you’re connecting with the people you love, continually remind yourself to ask more questions,” she says. Not sure what to ask? She suggests trying something like, “What do you think of that?” or “How are you feeling?,” telling us that the key is actually tuning in to their responses. “This can be harder than it seems,” she explains. “To truly listen, be silent, take a breath, even count to 10 if you need to. The payoff is fewer miscommunications and more understanding — a win-win!”

3. Bless those who bug you. “We all have people in our lives who — for better or worse — drive us crazy,” Hanley says. “It might be your significant other, a coworker, or other drivers on the road; whoever it is, know that they likely aren’t trying to annoy you, but could be triggering something or bumping up against a belief you have about the way the world should work that isn’t true.” According to Hanley, observing what bugs you can be a super valuable exercise. “Your irritation reveals something important about you that you might not have admitted,” she elaborates. “To help cool your frustration and keep you from stewing over their words or actions, silently thank them and bless them for raising your awareness of something in yourself that needs healing.”

4. Choose just one cause you can contribute to. The world can seem so overwhelming that it can cause a sort of paralysis; despite having good intentions, you might not be able to pinpoint where you can make a true difference. However, Hanley says that helping out is a key way to better yourself and your surroundings. “To up your impact without overextending yourself, drill down on the one cause that you feel the strongest about, and then devote whatever resources you have for giving back to that particular cause,” she advises.

5. Learn how to be an empty cup. It might seem strange to focus on being empty when you want to feel fulfilled, but Hanley tells us there’s a superpower in thinking of yourself as a vessel with lots of empty space. “You might think you already know everything you need to know about a certain subject, whether that’s history, yourself, or how to do your job,” she says. “But there’s always more insight, understanding, and skillfulness to be had — you just need a little mental space to let it in.” To be an empty cup, embrace humility. “Imagine your mind as a mug with more room for tea to flow in, and when you hear the words, ‘Yeah, I already knew that,’ come out of your mouth, remind yourself to let in the new point of view,” she offers. “This trick will help you keep developing over your lifetime, and your future self will thank you.”

6. Make peace with your chores. “Doing the dishes isn’t the most pleasurable way you could think of to spend time, and the same goes for laundry, grocery shopping, and cleaning toilets,” Hanley admits. “But chores are an inescapable part of life, and resisting them only adds to your own daily suffering.” To have more fun and be a happier human, try to make them as fun as you can. “Listen to music while you clean, make laundry folding a family affair, turn doing the dishes into a meditative practice. And what you truly can’t stand, outsource ‘em. The relief you feel will be worth the money!”

7. Use eye contact to be more empathetic. Eye contact makes a major difference in all types of situations, helping you show that you’re focused on the person you’re trying to connect with. Hanley suggests practicing eye contact whenever you can. “When you have a conversation with someone, look them in the eye,” she advises. “Heck, even when you pass people walking down the sidewalk, or wave another driver to go first at the four-way stop, or pay for your groceries — make eye contact. If you don’t, you might risk forgetting that the person you’re engaging with is a similar, fellow human being. We might not have as many divides in our culture if we could all do this more. When you look someone in the eye, you can open the gates of empathy.”

What do you do each day to be a good person? Tell us on Twitter @BritandCo.

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

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5 Doubts You Might Have After Moving In Together — And How to Deal With Them

You and your significant other have decided to move in together. You're picking out a new sofa and dreaming about how amazing it will be to cook breakfast together every Saturday morning. In the weeks after the move-in, it's likely to feel pretty idyllic. You're awash in the honeymoon period, so thrilled to be sharing a home that nothing can shake you. But then things get a little dicey.

A few weeks or months after you've moved in together, you may start to question things. And that's perfectly normal. You've just taken a major step in your relationship, and growing pains are totally real, so don't let your doubts derail your future plans with your S.O. Experts say these five doubts are especially common. Here's how to deal.

1. Is Our Relationship Moving at the "Right" Pace?

Photo by Pexels/Vera Arsic

“After moving in together, many couples notice they have doubts about the progression of their relationship," licensed psychotherapist Christine Scott-Hudson says. “Each partner may experience uncertainty about their own or their partner's timing and may suffer if they relate their partner's faster pace to being pushed or their partner's slower pace to feeling unappreciated or undervalued." Once you're sharing a space with your S.O. 24/7, you may be more sensitive than ever to the fact that you're not on the same page about things like engagement, in-laws, children, and more. If you're experiencing doubt about how — and how quickly — your relationship is moving forward, start talking about it with bae ASAP. See if you can recalibrate your expectations and open up communication.

2. How Should We Be Handling Our Finances?

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There are plenty of romantic elements about moving in with a partner, but money is also at play… and that's not so romantic. If you and your significant other didn't have an extensive conversation about finances before the move-in actually happened, you may be finding that your new roomie has financial habits that make you feel uncomfortable now that you're sharing bills. Certified mental health professional and relationship expert from Maple Holistics Adina Mahalli suggests seeking outside help when possible for this kind of issue. Sign up for a financial management class together to help put those doubts at ease. If that's not doable for you, try setting up a very clear budget so you can get back on the same page.

3. Can I Handle These Quirks Full-Time?

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In the glow of a new relationship, your sweetie's idiosyncrasies may seem more cute than annoying. But when you're dealing with them front and center, day in and day out? Maybe not so much. “Once you move in together, your rose-colored glasses start to wear off and seemingly endearing traits become more irritating and harder to overlook," DatingScout dating expert Celia Schweyer notes. “Living together means you have to experience real life with your partner." Navigating those real-life annoyances while keeping your relationship strong requires communication and compromise, Schweyer says. Speak up (respectfully) about the habits that bother you, and come to the table with suggestions that will allow you and your partner to live in harmony without changing who you are. It's better than bottling up your frustration and becoming resentful.

4. What if We Start To Feel Like Roommates?

Photo by Pexels/Alex Green

If, after living together for a while, you and your S.O. start to feel less like romantic partners and more like, well, roomies, don't panic. It happens. But it may create some doubt. Matchmaker, relationship expert, and Platinum Poire founder Rori Sassoon tells us that roommate syndrome can be solved by putting in some serious mutual work. Both of you will need to step up your game, communicate, and figure out how to get the dynamic back on track.

5. What If My Partner Starts to Hate My Quirks?

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Just as you might suddenly doubt your relationship because your significant other's quirks are on display full-time, you may start to get insecure about how they perceive your quirks. “You will become more relaxed in your own home and less willing or able to keep up a show," marriage coach and relationship expertLesli Doares says. “This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it can come as a surprise." Be open-minded about hearing your partner's feedback and don't shy away from trying to improve on some of the habits that cause issues.

RELATED: 7 Tips You Need to Know When Moving in With Your Significant Other

This post has been updated.

Header image via Vlada Karpovich / PEXELS

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The 26 Most-Anticipated Summer Movies For 2024

While the summer of 2023 (AKA the summer of Barbie and The Summer I Turned Pretty and Taylor Swift and Beyoncé, hello!) is over, there is still plenty to look forward to in 2024. Things are a little bit more relaxed on the new TV show front, which means all my energy can go towards watching as many movies as I can. We've already made our way through this year's winter movies and spring movies, and up next: 2024 summer movies. Keep reading for all the best 2024 movies to watch after a long day on vacation ;). And after you've seen all these new movies, check out these 6 Nostalgic Movies That Feel Like Summer Vacation!

Hit Man — On Netflix June 7, 2024

Image via Netflix

Glen Powell isn't slowing down after Anyone But You, and his first movie of 2024 is Hit Man, where he stars as a Houston, Texas undercover cop posing as a hitman. When he meets a woman stuck in an abusive marriage, and then falls for her, he decides to break protocol to help her. Watch the Hit Man trailer here.

Hit Man premieres June 7 and stars Austin Amelio, Adria Arjona, Glen Powell, and Retta.

The Crow — In Theaters June 7, 2024

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Eric and Shelly are soulmates in this modern adaptation of James O’Barr's graphic novel. But when Shelly's past catches up to them, and the couple is murdered, Eric has an opportunity: save his one true love by sacrificing himself. What follows is a merciless quest for revenge, and the desire to bring their murderers to justice.

The Crow hits theaters June 7 and stars Bill Skarsgård, FKA twigs, and Danny Huston.

Bad Boys: Ride Or Die — In Theaters June 7, 2024

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Following 2020's Bad Boys For Life, this new summer movie has the action and hilarious comedy that you expect from the franchise. This time, Mike and Marcus are on the run themselves, which is sure to add even more chaos than before.

Bad Boys: Ride Or Die hits theaters June 7 and stars Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, Vanessa Hudgens, Alexander Ludwig, Paola Nuñez, Eric Dane, Ioan Gruffudd, Jacob Scipio, Melanie Liburd, Tasha Smith, Tiffany Haddish, and Joe Pantoliano.

The Watchers — In Theaters June 14, 2024

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Dakota Fanning is back in this new horror thriller that follows Mina, an artist who gets stranded in a huge, untouched Irish forest. Things take a turn for the better when Mina finds shelter with three strangers — until she learns they're being watched by mysterious creatures every single night.

The Watchers hits theaters June 14, and stars Dakota Fanning, Georgina Campbell, Oliver Finnegan, and Olwen Fouere.

​Inside Out 2 — In Theaters June 14, 2024

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Like all Pixar sequels, Inside Out 2 has evolved with its main character Riley as she grows into a teenager. But that means there's a new emotion in town — Anxiety — and she's not going anywhere (don't I know it). This summer movie promises to be just as colorful and emotional as the first one, and I can't wait to cry in my chair at the theater. Watch the Inside Out 2 trailer here.

Inside Out 2 hits theaters June 14, 2024 and stars Lewis Black, Tony Hale, Maya Hawke, Liza Lapira, Diane Lane Amy Poehler, and Phyllis Smith.

The Bikeriders — In Theaters June 21, 2024

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Your favorite actors like Austin Butler, Mike Faist, and Jodie Comer are back in this edgy summer movie, which follows a Chicago motorcycle club for over a decade. While the story is fictional, it was inspired by the real 1967 photobook by Danny Lyon! Watch The Bikeriders trailer here.

The Bikeriders hits theaters June 21, 2024 and stars Austin Butler, Jodie Comer, Mike Faist, Tom Hardy, Boyd Holbrook, Norman Reedus, and Michael Shannon.

Janet Planet — In Theaters June 21, 2024

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It's the summer of 1991 and 11-year-old Lacy has nothing but her imagination and her mother to keep her company — neither of which she minds. That is, until they get three visitors who pull her mother's attention away. This summer movie holds incredible tension between a deep mother-daughter relationship and figuring out pre-teen independence.

Janet Planet will release on June 21 and stars Julianne Nicholson, Zoe Ziegler, Elias Koteas, Will Patton, and Sophie Okonedo.

Kinds of Kindness — In Theaters June 21, 2024

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After the success of Poor Things, Emma Stone and Yorgos Lanthimos are reuniting for a brand new summer movie. Kinds of Kindness is an anthology movie, tying together three different stories full of memorable characters. Knowing Yorgos, the movie will be wild, wacky, and absolutely memorable.

Kinds of Kindness hits theaters June 21 and stars Emma Stone, Jesse Plemons, Willem Dafoe, Margaret Qualley, Hong Chau, Joe Alwyn, Mamoudou Athie, and Hunter Schafer.

Firebrand — In Theaters June 21, 2024

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History lovers won't be able to get enough of this summer movie, which follows Katherine Parr as she fights to survive the final months of Henry VIII's life. It's a realistic and brutal take on Tudor England, but promises to be more than compelling.

Firebrand hits theaters June 21 and stars Alicia Vikander, Jude Law, Eddie Marsan, Sam Riley, Simon Russell Beale, and Erin Doherty.

A Family Affair — On Netflix June 28, 2024

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Summer rom-coms are back and better than ever thanks to A Family Affair ! The summer movie follows Zara (Joey King), who's left reeling when her mother (Nicole Kidman) strikes up a relationship with her famous actor boss (Zac Efron). And, as expected, hilarity unfolds from there.

A Family Affair hits Netflix June 28 and stars Joey King, Zac Efron, Nicole Kidman, Liza Koshy, and Kathy Bates.

A Quiet Place: Day One — In Theaters June 28, 2024

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While we got a glimpse of A Quiet Place: Day One at CinemaCon, we'll finally get to see the whole story when it hits theaters at the end of June! The movie will open on the first day the alien Death Angels came to earth (which we briefly saw in A Quiet Place 2). Watch The A Quiet Place: Day One trailer here.

A Quiet Place: Day One hits theaters June 28, 2024. The movie stars Djimon Hounsou, Lupita Nyong’o, Denis O’Hare Joseph Quinn, and Alex Wolff.

Horizon: An American Saga: Chapter 1 — In Theaters June 28

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You're going to want to add this summer movie to your list of favorite Westerns. The film covers 1861 to 1865 during the Civil War, and explores themes of family, identity, and good and evil as the United States goes to war. Chapter 2 will premiere August 16.

Horizon: An American Saga: Chapter 1 hits theaters June 28. The movie stars Kevin Costner, Sienna Miller, Sam Worthington, Jena Malone, Owen Crow Shoe, Tatanka Means, Ella Hunt, Isabelle Fuhrman, and Jamie Campbell Bower.

Despicable Me 4 — In Theaters July 3, 2024

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This is one animated sequel I cannot wait to watch in theaters — even if we can't partake in the Gentleminion TikTok trend anymore. Gru and his family are up against a new villain, voiced by Will Ferrell (who played a not-quite-cutthroat villain in Barbie). The whole gang is back together, including a new baby Gru Jr.! Watch the Despicable Me 4 trailer here.

Despicable Me 4 hits theaters July 3 and stars Steve Carell, Pierre Coffin, Steve Coogan, Miranda Cosgrove, Joey King, Will Ferrell, Sofia Vergara, and Kristen Wiig.

MaXXXine — In Theaters July 5, 2024

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Mia Goth is back for another stint as Maxine and I'm happy to report that, after the clip of Maxine screaming "I'm a star" went viral across social media, she FINALLY gets her big break. But when Hollywood's newest stars begin turning up dead, Maxine's future is threatened by her past secrets.

MaXXXine hits theaters July 5 and stars Mia Goth, Elizabeth Debicki, Moses Sumney, Michelle Monaghan, Bobby Cannavale, Halsey, Lily Collins, Giancarlo Esposito, and Kevin Bacon.

Fly Me To The Moon — In Theaters July 12, 2024

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If you loved the vintage style of Lessons in Chemistry, you'll definitely want to press play on Fly Me To The Moon. Set during the Apollo 11 moon landing, the new movie follows Kelly Jones, a marketing expert tasked with fixing NASA's public image, while launch director Cole Davis is just trying to get the mission off the ground (literally).

Fly Me To The Moon hits theaters July 12 and stars Scarlett Johansson, Channing Tatum, Nick Dillenburg, and Anna Garcia.

Descendants: Rise of Red — On Disney+ July 12, 2024

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'90s kids, rejoice — Brandy's back! After starring in Best. Christmas. Ever!, the singer and actress is reprising her iconic role as Cinderella in this new Descendants installment. Uma is now headmaster of Auradon Prep, and when she invites the Queen of Heart's daughter Red to join her, the Queen uses it as an opportunity to get revenge on Cinderella.

Descendants: Rise of Red hits Disney+ July 12 and stars Brandy, Rita Ora, Kylie Cantrall, Malia Baker, China Anne McClain, Jeremy Swift, Dara Reneé, Ruby Rose Turner.

Longlegs — In Theaters July 12, 2024

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FBI Agent Lee Harker is an FBI Agent who's assigned to a serial killer case that's never been solved. When the case takes an unexpected turn — and shows evidence of occult activity — Harker is horrified to learn he has a personal connection to the killer. Watch the Longlegs trailer here.

Longlegs hits theaters July 12 and stars Maika Monroe, Nicolas Cage, Alicia Witt and Blair Underwood.

Twisters — In Theaters July 19, 2024

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Glen Powell returns to our screens again in Twisters with a star-studded cast. This summer movie seems to serve as a sequel to the original 1996 film, with just as much disaster and pure terror to help it stand on its own. Hold on folks, we're in for a bumpy ride. Watch the Twisters trailer here.

Twisters hits theaters July 19, 2024 and stars Daisy Edgar-Jones, Sasha Lane, Brandon Perea, Glen Powell, Anthony Ramos, and Maura Tierney.

Deadpool 3 (Deadpool & Wolverine) — In Theaters July 26, 2024

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The MCU is in for a wild ride with Ryan Reynolds'Deadpool & Wolverine. Not only is the TVA involved and Hugh Jackman is bringing the X-Men into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but we might also see Taylor Swift make an appearance as a brand new character. (Yes, please!). Watch the Deadpool & Wolverine trailer here.

Deadpool 3 hits theaters July 26, 2024 and stars Morena Baccarin, Emma Corrin, Brianna Hildebrand, Hugh Jackman, Stefan Kapičić, Matthew Macfadyen, and Ryan Reynolds.

My Old Ass — In Select Theaters August 2, 2024

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Elliot is totally not expecting to meet her future self, but when the shock finally wears off, she agrees not to fall in love. She feels confident in her decision, thanks to her own advice, but everything changes when she meets the boy her older self warned her about.

My Old Ass will have a limited theatrical run starting August 2. The movie stars Maisy Stella, Aubrey Plaza, Maddie Ziegler, Kerrice Brooks, and Percy Hynes White.

Harold And The Purple Crayon — In Theaters August 2, 2024

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The Harold we all knew as kids has grown up and drawn himself right off the pages of his book. Now, he's got to figure out how to operate in the real world — especially once the power of unlimited imagination (AKA his purple crayon) gets into the wrong hands.

Harold And The Purple Crayon hits theaters August 2 and stars Zachary Levi, Lil Rel Howery, Benjamin Bottani, Jemaine Clement, Tanya Reynolds, Alfred Molina, and Zooey Deschanel.

Borderlands — In Theaters August 9, 2024

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Fans of The Last of Us will want to strap in for this video game adaptation (and not just because it's written by TLOU showrunner Craig Mazin!). The movie follows treasure hunter Lilith, who returns to her home planet of Pandora to find a missing girl, and the rag-tag team she puts together along the way. Watch the Borderlands trailer here.

Borderlands hits theaters August 9, 2024 and stars Jack Black, Cate Blanchett, Ariana Greenblatt, Kevin Hart, Jamie Lee Curtis, Gina Gerson, Florian Munteanu, and Edgar Ramierez.

It Ends With Us — In Theaters August 9, 2024

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When Lily Bloom falls in love with Ryle, she's excited to start their life together. But she never expects her first love, Atlas, to reenter the picture — or for all the consequences that come with them reconnecting.

It Ends With Us premieres June 21 and stars Blake Lively, Jenny Slate, Brandon Sklenar, Justin Baldoni, and Hasan Minhaj.

Alien: Romulus — In Theaters August 16, 2024

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This follow-up to the iconic Alien franchise is for sci-fi and action lovers! The summer movie follows a group of young space colonizers on a mission to explore an abandoned space station. But the deeper the go, they closer they get to the most terrifying life form in the whole universe.

Alien: Romulus hits theaters August 16, 2024 and stars Cailee Spaeny, David Jonsson, Archie Renaux, Isabela Merced, Spike Fearn, and Aileen Wu.

Blink Twice — In Theaters August 23, 2024

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Frida is a cocktail waitress who gets whisked away from her regular life to philanthropist Slater King's private island. But the more time she spends on the intoxicating island, the more she realizes just how unsettling — and horrifying — it really is.

Blink Twice hits theaters August 23 and stars Channing Tatum, Naomi Ackie, Christian Slater, Alia Shawkat, Geena Davis, Adria Arjona, Haley Joel Osment, Liz Caribel Sierra, Levon Hawke, Trew Mullen, Saul Williams, Cris Costa, Simon Rex, and Kyle MacLachlan.

Kraven The Hunter — In Theaters August 30, 2024

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You've never seen a super-hero flick quite like this. Consider this summer movie the origin story of the titular Kraven the Hunter, and discover why he becomes the feared figure we all know so well.

Kraven the Hunter premieres August 30, and stars Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Ariana DeBose, Fred Hechinger, Alessandro Nivola, Christopher Abbott, and Russell Crowe.

Which 2024 summer movie are you looking forward to this year? I cannot wait for Inside Out 2! Follow us on Facebook for more movie news and check out this year's Most-Anticipated Fall Movies.

Lead image via Pixar/Disney

This post has been updated.

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4 Rom-Com Relationships That Are The Actual Worst

Rom-coms are having a moment RN. Between Lindsay Lohan's Irish Wish, Anne Hathaway's The Idea Of You, and Zendaya's Challengers, our hearts are bursting from all the love and romance. But even though romantic comedy relationships are portrayed as #relationshipgoals, many on-screen romances are actually riddled with toxic dynamics and unhealthy behaviors. Christie Tcharkhoutian, professional matchmaker for Los Angeles-based Three Day Rule, revealed to us why four of our fave romantic movie fictional couples should be written off as inspo for you and your S.O.

Juliet and Mark in "Love Actually"

Image via Universal Studios Home Entertainment

Problematic Message: Love is the most exciting when it’s forbidden.

Even if you haven’t seen the romantic comedy, you’ve definitely seen the GIFs: Andrew Lincoln, playing Mark, professing his love for Keira Knightley’s character through handwritten signs, one of which reads the famous line, “To me, you are perfect.” Yes, it’s ultra-romantic — until you look a little closer. “Although we all love an honest display of love, making a play and expressing your love for your best friend’s wife is not a good start for a relationship, on or off screen,” Tcharkhoutian says.

And the most harmful part of these fictional narratives is that they only show a fraction, if any, of the fallout. “This is a toxic dynamic that devalues the dignity of marriage and romanticizes the idea of being in love with someone who is ‘off-limits,’ without portraying the harsh realities of this kind of basis for a relationship,” Tcharkhoutian explains.

Andie and Ben in "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days"

Image via Paramount Pictures

Problematic Message: A relationship that began with ulterior motives can become healthy and functional.

There’s no denying that Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey are a dreamy pair, but in this movie, their relationship is a nightmare. Their quick rise to love is certainly entertaining, but the foundation of their relationship makes it impossible to exist outside of fiction.

The two meet as means to prove themselves at their respective jobs, and in true rom-com fashion, their supposedly real feelings take off from there. Tcharkhoutian cautions against this behavior in real life. “This can set up a relationship to be something in which a person is objectified as a vehicle to help you meet your needs, instead of a mutual union and partnership with pure and honest motives of loving each other through thick and thin,” she says.

Lucy and Jack in "While You Were Sleeping"

Image via Walt Disney Studios Home Entertainment

Problematic Message: Falling in love with the idea of someone can result in a happy ending.

No one can resist a Sandra Bullock romantic comedy, so it’s no surprise this movie is still revered as a classic of the genre. It has all the necessary components: an unrealistic plot (she saves a man’s life, is confused for his fiancée by his family, and then falls in love with his brother while he’s in a coma — like, come on!), a handsome boy-next-door lead and, of course, love. However, much like the relationship in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, the foundation is faulty.

Falling in love with the idea of someone, as Sandra Bullock’s character does, doesn’t equate to falling in love with the actual person, Tcharkhoutian clarifies, and to start a relationship with this basis in real life is ill-advised.

Amanda and Graham in "The Holiday"

Image via Sony Pictures Home Entertainment

Problematic Message: True love lies in the next adventure, which is far from your hometown and your past relationship.

Who hasn’t dreamt of traveling to a foreign country; staying in a cozy, remote cottage; and falling in love with someone even half as good-looking as Jude Law? Well, there’s a reason it’s a mere fantasy. Tcharkhoutian describes the phenomenon in The Holiday movie as escapism — the idea that you need to escape from your day-to-day life to find true happiness or, in this case, true love.

Although it’s fun to dream, if taken too far, this particular romantic comedy mentality can lead to irrational expectations. “This escapism mentality can create a false belief that international [relationships] are sustainable in the long-term,” Tcharkhoutian remarks. “True healthy relationships survive and thrive in the everyday, mundane routine, not in the exciting international adventure that depends on thrill and distance.”

Which rom-com couples stay together?

Image via Netflix

However, there are PLENTY of romantic comedy relationships we love! Some of our favorites include Nick and Rachel in Crazy Rich Asians, Matty and Jenna in 13 Going on 30, Harry and Sally in Meg Ryan's When Harry Met Sally, Elle and Emmett in Legally Blonde, and Peter and Lara Jean in To All The Boys I've Loved Before.

What other romantic comedy fictional couples should be on this list? Let us know @BritandCo.

Lead image via Paramount Pictures

This post has been updated.

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6 Crazy "Outer Banks" Opinions That Would Totally Change The Show

I'll admit out of the many teen dramas I've consumed, Outer Banks is one of the most ridiculous. But the insanity surrounding the plot is half the reason it's enjoyable! John B. wrestling an alligator with his bare hands? Kiara getting kidnapped then making a daring escape in her PJ's? John B. and Sarah getting married (kind of) by the power of "the sky, the stars, and the sea" after escaping the SBI?

Considering my favorite fan theory for the future is that Madelyn Cline's Sarah and Rudy Pankow's JJ learn they're secret siblings, I know the crazy train isn't slowing down anytime soon. I took to Reddit to find the wildest Outer Bankshot takes and I was not disappointed. Keep reading to see if you agree with any!

JJ and Kiara Never Should Have Happened

Image via Netflix

While JJ and Kiara is one of the most popular ships on the show, a lot of Outer Banks fans think the "no Pogue-on-Pogue macking" rule from the pilot should have stayed in effect. The individual romances between Kiara and JJ, John B., and Pope make the story really messy, and the fact the show writes Kiara to be with all three of them in the span of three years gives a lot of viewers the ick.

I'll be team #Jiara forever (and literally screamed when The Backseat Lovers' "Kilby Girl" started playing during the motorcycle ride in season 3), but I'll say it would incredibly compelling to see a friend group take care of each other as much as the Pogues do without ever crossing over into romantic territory. That's found family, after all!

Pope Should Have Ditched The Treasure Hunt

Image via Netflix

One Reddit user is convinced that "Pope should’ve focused on his future in school instead of giving everything up to search for treasure." And TBH, I totally agree.

In season 1, Pope has a breakthrough about the hidden treasure in the middle of his scholarship interview. He ditches the scholarship committee to tell the rest of the Pogues, throwing away a crazy educational opportunity. Pope beats himself up for it, and his parents definitely aren't pleased, but at least it meant he got to stay in the show instead of leaving for college, which leads me to...

Outer Banks Should Have Started With The Pogues In Their 20s

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As one of the only people alive who loves the post-time jump One Tree Hill, I would have loved to see OBX start off with the characters in their 20s (although it looks like that's where Outer Banks season 4 will pick up!). This would eliminate SO MANY problems from the jump because the Pogues wouldn't have to worry about missing school, they'd be more self-sufficient, and instead of being the same old high school drama, it could have provided a commentary on figuring out life in your 20s the same way Friends did.

Rafe Shouldn't Have Any Kind Of Redemption Arc In Outer Banks Season 4

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Drew Starkey the man that you are. According to one Reddit user, "Rafe should not have a love interest or a redemption arc" like we see in season 3. We spent all of season 1 and season 2 establishing that Rafe (played by Drew) would do anything it took to get what he wanted (including one successful murder and two other attempts?!). He shows next to no remorse for his actions, and exploring his literal psychopathic tendencies would take the show to a whole new level.

Big John Should Never Have Returned

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John B.'s dad's disappearance is the catalyst for the Pogues' journey at the beginning of Outer Banks, and Big John's return means the story feels somewhat repetitive in the third season, and it undoes a lot of the growth we've seen from John B. Plus, Big John is just SO chaotic, selfish, and dramatic. If he had truly died in season 1, we could have seen John B. wrestle with that finality, and how to cope with loss in the face of finding the treasure and falling in love with Sarah.

And Finally, Outer Banks Should Have Ended After Season 1

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Outer Banks season 1 was exactly what we needed at the height of the pandemic. It was escapist — both in terms of the beach vacation vibes, but also because the '00s aesthetic took us right back to simpler times — and it had such a wonderfully resolved finale that some fans think nothing has matched it.

Do you agree with any of these Outer Banks opinions? I'm such a romance fan, I don't know what I'd do if the show didn't have JJ and Kiara get together! Check out all the best New TV Shows coming this year for more.

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Mariska Hargitay’s Powerful “Me Too” Message Proves She’s Olivia Benson IRL

Mariska Hargitay is the woman of the hour anywhere she goes, with her iconic Law & Order: SVUrole as Olivia Benson under her belt for the last 25 years. The character is an absolute advocate to women — and assault victims of any gender — through her words, actions, and powerful convictions of each perpetrator on the show. She takes great care with her victims and pursues perpetrators with fervor, and slowly as you watch the show..the line blurs between Olivia and Mariska.

This isn't anything new — just recently Mariska literally stopped production on the show to help a child (who mistook her for an actual police officer) find her mom. It's just who Mariska is. She walks the walk and talks the talk — including during her speech at Variety's Power of Women's Power of Women event.

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As a Power of Women honoree, Mariska was recognized in regards to her work as an advocate for sexual assault survivors. She took the stage and used her platform to discuss rape and assault conviction reversals, shining a light on the recent overturned ruling in Harvey Weinstein's landmark NYC case. Here's what she said:

Today I want to talk about reversing convictions, and more specifically I want to talk to you about how impossible it is to reverse mine. It’s impossible to reverse my conviction that survivors matter. It is impossible to reverse my conviction that what happens to us matters, and that our society must respond to survivors with a more a compassionate, holistically, deeper, and more nuanced understanding of what healing means.

It is impossible to reverse my conviction that after a trauma, survivors can reclaim lives of hope, of possibility, of audacious risk, beautiful intimacy, and glorious, glorious abundant joy. And I stand before you as evidence of that statement.

It is impossible to reverse my conviction that we must listen to survivors as experts on what justice means. It is extraordinary how little their voices are consulted, let alone incorporated, in the process of deciding how to repair harm. Justice is not a one-size-fits-all journey.

It is impossible to reverse my conviction that patriarchal impunity has to end. Patriarchal impunity is when a male-dominated system exempts perpetrators from punishment. Studies show that only 20% of all rape cases in the U.S. are reported to the police, and that between 5 and 0% of all rapes result in a guilty plea or a conviction. So why do 80% of victims not report? Because they're met with a system that grants impunity to perpetrators; a system that blames victims; a system that accepts only those victims who are experienced as "real" rape; a system that completely misunderstands the neurobiology of trauma, which causes behavior in women that doesn't fit the picture of how a "real victim" would act.

Is that change needed that victims should just pull themselves together? Just buck up and report anyway? No. No, it's the system that receives them that needs to change

It is impossible to reverse my conviction — and the conviction of my extraordinary team, The Joyful Heart — that the backlog of untested rape kits can be brought to zero; that the testing of all new kits must be mandated; that we need a statewide kit tracking system; and that survivors have the right to access the status of their kits.

It is impossible to reverse my conviction that grammar — yes, grammar — that we use when we speak about rape must change. In the sentence, "A woman is raped," there's a crime and there's a victim, but there's no perpetrator. Where's the perpetrator? Where is he? Statistically, as we know, most likely he's walking free. He's so free that he doesn't even appear in the language about the crime that he committed. Is that not extraordinary? It's extraordinary that in the very grammar, the perpetrator goes free. Reintroducing perpetrators in the language of rape will make some very unwieldy grammar, but that's the nature of change. It's unwieldy, it's messy, it's uncomfortable, but it's necessary.

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Hargitay continued on in her prolific speech to describe that rape shouldn't be considered a "crime of passion" because it's "not simply the next step in the trajectory of his passion" when a man takes a consensual hookup too far and assaults a woman against her will. She stated that it's "an exercise of power," doubling down that the language we use is important.

The speech went on to address that rape is both about power and control, as a "construct" that was "built, and assembled, and reinforced over time." She noted that there are people with these positions of power — and she specifically called out those in the entertainment industry — that could make a difference and aligned themselves to victims and survivors.

After this and some other remarks, Hargitay specifically called out the Weinstein conviction reversal. She said:

I do want to say something about the Harvey Weinstein conviction, specifically about the reason that it was overturned: too many women's voices. Too many women's voices were allowed to speak. Hallelujah! Amen! I can't imagine anything more beautiful than that. The Daily podcast episode talked about how it was so risky for the prosecution to have that many women testify. Risky to let women speak? You're damn right it is!

Too many women speaking brings change. Too many women speaking shakes the establishment. Too many women means we get listened to more, and people might actually hear what we have to say. Look what happened when women started saying just two words, right? Me too — just as an example — a tidal wave of change. Me too.

And then of course, there was the response: the Me Too Movement. The backlash. The examination of whether the changes that have come are lasting, or are even positive. Of course there's a backlash! What did they expect? For women to speak repeatedly, loudly, together, with a purpose — for there to be no backlash? The backlash is evidence of how powerful those voices were, how powerful those voices ARE.

Watch Mariska Hargitay's Full Speech Here

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Mariska Hargitay's Gets Emotional as She Thanks Her Support System and the Women Around Her

Turns out that your TV heroes really can be your IRL heroes after all. Long live Olivia Benson! Long live Mariska Hargitay!

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